WR "I don't get it"

aldc7d

White bridesmaids dresses are actually the true tradition... Back in the day bridesmaids and groomsmen were there to actually look like the bride and groom to trick the demons or people who might want to stop the wedding from happening.  Bridesmaids used to dress in white just like the bride so that they looked alike...

But i like the colored bridesmaids dresses better

Rhiley

I don't get matching ridiculous bridesmaid dresses brides force their dearest friends to purchase, wear, and then never wear again.Let them pick their own and who cares if they match. I love everyone being able to put their own unique spin on the wedding day.
I don't get obligatory speeches, if you would like to speak at my wedding feel free, but if you would rather not no problem. Regardless of who it is.
I don't like children at weddings, get a babysitter and come have a night out on us:)
I don't get tuxedos, let the groom choose what he wants to wear, I doubt he would want to wear a tux if he was given a choice.
I don't get posed pictures, please when was the last time your husband dipped you and kissed your neck, candid shots are waaay more realistic and characteristic of yourselves in your true form.
I don't get opera length gloves, ew!
I don't get updos
I don't get tiaras

I love moustaches on a stick, photo booths, candy tables, tea length dresses, coloured shoes, birdcage veils, bicycle pictures, short ceremonies, personal vows, handmade rings, long flowing natural hair, wildflower bouquets, mason jars, and straw bails Yeehaw!

iamcleary

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-dont?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1bf4f70a-6c9d-4923-8642-2c2b63a6fc80Post:a80534ee-01b2-46af-a7f4-4e7ba5ef1bb7">Re: WR "I don't get it"</a>:
[QUOTE] Bridesmaids used to dress in white just like the bride so that they looked alike... But i like the colored bridesmaids dresses better :)
Posted by aldc7d[/QUOTE]


I agree I have six bridesmaids I didn't want six but I couldn't see my day without all of them being there to stop me from biting my nails down to bleeding stumps, and since it fit with our theme they are three different colors blue-green-teal. But I thought for about ten minutes white would be cool.

MrMrsE

I don't get not letting your bridemaids to have their own personalities

I don't get inviting your single friends "and guest."  Most friends know each other they can come or sit as a group if they feel like it will bother them. 

I don't get someone escorting the bride down the aisle.

NuggetBrain

Traditional head tables elevated up on some kind of stage.  I just don't understand why people still seat their WP that way.  Not only is it awkward to have everybody watching you eat, but you can't sit with your date and have to make conversation with only the two people next to you.

Also, wedding themed favors.  I don't think everybody wants coasters or picture frames with your names and wedding dates on them in their house.  That's just wierd.

iamcleary

I really don't get the over the top crazy 3-4000 dollar cakes it's food not art. I intend to eat it. Beside we are doing cupcakes since we have family that can't eat certain things so no one will know the difference.

opalsky007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-dont?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1bf4f70a-6c9d-4923-8642-2c2b63a6fc80Post:52348cd6-707a-4540-8a0e-8f3074481209">Re: WR "I don't get it"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: WR "I don't get it" : I am totally doing that!  But I am a born and raised country girl who is getting married outside in the fall.  Not only totally me, but warmer also!
Posted by MrMrsE[/QUOTE]

See, I'm totally cool with that. I think they're great in that situation.

But I have way too many old classmates who are all "Look at me! I'm country!", because they live in the middle of nowhere.

No, you're not country. You live in the middle of nowhere because your parents bought a mansion in the woods. You ride a pony that you got for your bat mitzvah. You listen to Kenny Chesney. Just. Stop.

dlmulli

be different!  did you know that white wedding dresses go back to the queen of england.  white wedding dresses have no other meaning than that.  all that white purity crap, is just that.

NuggetBrain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-dont?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1bf4f70a-6c9d-4923-8642-2c2b63a6fc80Post:b7608147-8e1e-45c7-93ad-d177e4dc0c5a">Re: WR "I don't get it"</a>:
[QUOTE]be different!  did you know that white wedding dresses go back to the queen of england.  white wedding dresses have no other meaning than that.  all that white purity crap, is just that.
Posted by dlmulli[/QUOTE]

My wedding will be different from everybody else's strictly because it's my wedding.  I could copy someone's big day down to the color of their underpants and it would STILL be different.  Go away.

jenc1017

I dont like sit down dinners

waiting forever for the bride and groom to get to the reception

people that get married in a church just for the pictures but dont go to church any other time!

grooms cake

cash bar - pay for your guest to have fun!

I Want Cake

I don't get fascinators, either.  I also don't get why they're called that, it's like they have to put the thought "this is fascinating to you" in people's minds.

I don't get pickups on dresses, mostly because they make you look like a giant cake.

I don't get large bridal parties, either.  If it's more than you can fit in one limo, it's too much, and it loses all meaning.

I don't get brides who demand all their bridesmaids wear the same exact dress, especially if that dress is strapless.  For anyone over a size 8, it's cruelty.

I don't get more than one dress for the bride, too.  It's a wedding, not your own personal fashion show.

I don't get personalized EVERYTHING, or getting stuff you don't need just for the sake of personalizing it, especially non-consumable favors.

angmonson

There's a lot that I don't get...  But definitely "Trash the Dress" pictures.  Why - WHY - would someone trash a dress that has been worn one time?!  If you have had your fill of it and can't stand looking at it even one more second, give it to someone who can't afford a dress or sell it!  What a waste, and a horrible commentary on throw-away culture.  My dress is about $400, which is the high end of what I could jusitify spending out of my budget.  I know many can afford more expensive dresses...  All the more reason to not "trash" it. 

immakirstin

I don't get bouquet tosses

I don't get groom's cakes

I don't get bachelorette parties where the maid of honor hires a stripper for the evening or when she decides to take the underage 19 year old bride to canada to get drunk that night

Ash2985

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-dont?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1bf4f70a-6c9d-4923-8642-2c2b63a6fc80Post:be4668ef-2efa-439f-85ea-594f58b50f91">Re: WR "I don't get it"</a>:
[QUOTE] I don't get brides who demand all their bridesmaids wear the same exact dress, especially if that dress is strapless.  For anyone over a size 8, it's cruelty
Posted by I Want Cake[/QUOTE]
This kind of makes you sound like an asshole.

flitterfly13

Drunk doesn't look good on weddings...
or nasty garter tosses.

Keep it classy ladies

immakirstin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-dont?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1bf4f70a-6c9d-4923-8642-2c2b63a6fc80Post:85f4221c-a9c3-44e0-acd7-a1f08cb6dbd8">Re: WR "I don't get it"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: WR "I don't get it" : This kind of makes you sound like an asshole.
Posted by Ash2985[/QUOTE]
Agreed, my wedding gown is strapless and I'm a size 11.  It's not cruelty at all!  It depends on the dress wearer's perspective of what looks good and is comfortable and what doesn't.

arstetts

I don't get why anyone wants to spend $500.00 on just bridal party bouquets??  Just recieved my quote in the mail and I think maybe we should just pick spring flowers and then throw them away instead of $500.00.

TiaHauser

I don't get the garter toss either. Who wants their man to go hunting up their skirt and pull out something that looks like panties (sometimes with their teeth) in front of their Dad, Grandpa, Uncles, Boss, Pastor etc...?? Such a strange tradition to me. I'd rather save the naughty stuff for later. 

I also don't inviting people you haven't seen in years to your wedding (including family) just because you are supposed to. 

I kind of don't understand spending $10k, $20k $50k to feed your friends and family extravegent foods that they are going to crap out tomorrow and buy flower centerpieces that are going to die next week when you could use that money to put a down payment on a house and  start your life together.

I don't understand big poofy dresses that the bride waddles around in and looks obviously uncomfortable in.

I don't understand the church wedding either if you are not offiliated with the church at all.

I don't understand the hokey pokey at a wedding. Ever. Period.

I don't understand bridesmaids and making them buy very ugly matching dresses they will never wear again.

I don't understand junior brides at all.

I don't understand why people get caught up in all this. So much that they forget what the wedding is about- that intimate moment where you start your lives as man and wife.

Goldlie11

Huge weddings unless you truly know all of the people and interact with them regularly

Rehearsals.  What is there to practice?

Cash Bars

dressagesong

I don't get going deep into debt for your wedding. It's one day. An important day, but still just a day. I'd rather spend that money on the rest of my life.

I don't get pick ups on dresses.

I don't really get grooms cakes, but we'll probably do one anyway, just because I think they're fun. I'm a cake decorator, so I'm planning on doing my own wedding cake and I'm thinking of trying my hand at a "novelty cake" for a grooms cake.

I don't get "trinket" type favors. I did recieve a personalized mini-caribener from a wedding a few years ago that I use on my key chain. The personlization has worn off, but I get use out of it. Coasters? Not so much.

I don't get expensive fancy meals that don't taste good. I went to a wedding last summer where the meal was $75/plate (the bride was one of my best friends, I was singing in the wedding. She didnt advertise the price and it was something that her MIL insisted on) and I couldn't even eat the meat because it was rare to the point of underdone and unchewable.

I love colored dresses, shoes that you're comfortable in (flip flops, cowboy boots, or barefoot), photo booths with mustaches, and interesting pictures.

I'm considering doing a Trash the Dress type thing. I'm very involved in horse training and showing. I'd love to get pictures taken with my horse, but don't want green slobber stains on my dress before the wedding. I likely won't pay for a pro though, my BFF is a very good amateur photographer, so we'll just make a fun day out of it. I don't intend to intentionally "trash" my dress, but it's the idea of not needing to worry about keeping it pristine anymore.

mgmlove

I don't get favors that aren't food (or seeds or flowers or drinks). I used to keep all the votives, ornaments, can cozies, etc. Eventually, I realized a had a box full of favors that I would never use from friends/families weddings. At some point I threw it out...but now that I think about it, I should have saved them all and given them back as favors at my own wedding.

I don't get giant bridal parties either.

autumnbreeze26

I would like to preface this by saying that even though I may not "get" some things, to each their own. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters.

I don't get why people bring their young kids/babies to weddings. I just feel like these things are for adults or older kids. Besides, in most cases they've had plenty of time to find a babysitter.

I don't get wearing veils over the face.

I do not get personalized wedding favors. I have been to over a dozen weddings and do not have a single favor from them. Even though I will admit that I've seen several really cute personalized favors.

I don't get ridiculously expensive destination weddings. I personally feel it's selfish to expect your friends and family to pay an arm and a leg to see you get married. Then to have an itinerary for those guests is even worse. If I'm paying a couple grand just to see you get married on a foreign beach, you better beileve that I'm going to do what I want and not follow some itinerary. (I know it's their day but most people have a wedding because they want to share it with their family and friends. If they didn't want to share that moment with people, they wouldn't invite people.)

I just don't get trains either. I never really understood why anyone would want to lug around all that extra fabric for several hours. Sure they can be pinned up, but I still think they're silly. I especially don't get them on formal dresses. (I've been shopping for a dress to wear to a formal company Christmas party and it's insane how many dresses come with short trains.)

But like I said in the beginning, to each thier own. If you love these things, great! They're just not for me, and that's OK!

AshleyR3

I dont get favors or stds. As for multiple ceremonys I totally understand just because we have already paid for most of the things and our photographer and what not. Me and my bridesmaids have our dresses. And I have just found out that my fiance might end up getting deployed before our wedding and might not be here so we have decided should that happen that we will go to the JP and have our ceremony and reception when he comes home.

Beccalgray

Autumnbreeze, you're the first to mention trains! I do not like trains. I can stand the short ones, but don't necessarily care for them either. My dress actually has a short train, it's just not worth paying to have it altered to cut off, I still love my dress. I couldn't do it if it were a long train that someone had to fix in order for me to lug down the isle though. 

-I also don't get the huge bridal parties

-When a bride looks nothing like themselves on their wedding day, at least keep a little bit of your own personality!

-Spending mass amounts of money on useless things that no one really cares about.

-Making bridesmaids wear a dress they hate. I know it's not about them, but they're usually the ones buying them, at least give them SOME say in what they wear. 

-Church weddings without believing in what the church believes. 

-Dresses that are so big that you can barely reach your new husband..

-Mermaid dresses that are so tight that you can barely walk/dance.

-Paying several thousand on a dress that you will never wear again. I'm all for finding a great dress, but the 12,000 that someone spends on a dress alone could pay for pretty much my entire wedding. 

-Charity donations as wedding "favors"- I'm all for giving to charity, but what if it's a charity that some of your guests don't actually support, and don't want money given to in their name?

-giant bows or flowers on dresses

I don't personally care for colored dresses, but if that's your personality, all the better!

I do like:

-grooms cakes (his personality & main input into the planning)

-pick ups on dresses (i know, i'm the only one. I used to hate them until I tried one on, and now I love them)

-fun dances

-engagement photos (my fiance hardly ever smiles in pictures, this gives us a chance to get some good ones)

-photo guestbooks

-unique favors

-unique cakes

-sand ceremony

-Vintage look (if it fits your style & the wedding style) 

These are my personal likes & dislikes, I don't get offended if people don't agree. Each person has their own ideas and styles. Stay true to yourself and what you want on your wedding day, that's what really matters. 

JessRedman

I'm from the south and I can honestly say that I had no idea that groom's cakes, engagement pics, and money dances were not widely used traditions. I guess I've seen all of it at so many weddings growing up that I just never thought twice about it. I think it's pretty cool that we have something unique to us down here.

I also don't get crazy high heels under your dress. I came across some super cute green flats that I'm going to be wearing under my dress. I found them while Christmas shopping. Otherwise, I was going bare foot all the way.

I'm also dying the corset lace (I'm not sure what it's technically called. The long piece of fabric to lace up the back of the dress) green. So I can understand the colored dresses.

I'm with yall on the tux for the groom. I understand that we want our future husbands to look nice and classy and gentlemenly, but a tux is nowhere near my fiance's style. He and his groomsmen are wearing a black dress shirt, black dress pants, a green skinny tie, a white belt, and I think my fiance wants them to wear Vans shoes. Something they all agreed upon and will all feel comfortable in.

Queen Jane

Bridesmaids dresses that look like they could be wedding dresses. It just looks odd to me, and they will never wear it again (I would assume).

Ceremony in a church that the B&G aren't at least practicing the same religion of.

Garter toss. I agree on the "ew" factor.

Pickups on dresses. When I hear "pickups" I think of guitars and pianos. Or trucks. Not dresses.

The dresses that are so huge on the bottom/long train that you could fit your bridal party in it. It's just not my style.

Personalized everything. The guests know who's guetting married.

Huge BP's. FI wanted us to have like 10 on each side, which would be ridiculous considering we will probably have around 100 guests.

E-pics. I would consider an "engagement pic" to be one that was taken during, or close to, the moment of the proposal. Not several days, weeks, months later.

We will be having a photobooth. I do find moustaches amusing. We will have cake and booze. To each their own...

DramaGeek

I don't get "the groom doesn't get much say in the wedding planning."  H picked out our unity candle and guest document by himself.  He picked the tuxes.  He helped design the cake and chose the flavors.  He went to the food tasting and helped decide on the menu.  We wrote the ceremony together, sitting at my parents' kitchen table.  I don't understand why someone wouldn't involve their husband-to-be in what is likely going to be a very important day in your lives.

I don't get bouquet tosses or the whole garter thing.

I don't get plated dinners.

I don't get head tables.  I was in a wedding where we had that whole "WP sits on the stage and eats" thing going on and it s.u.c.k.e.d.  It was a buffet but we weren't allowed to get our own food.  They didn't listen and brought me all this stuff with beef and pork in it, which I don't eat.  I ate two celery sticks and a carrot stick because those were the only things on my plate I could eat.  Poor H was stuck sitting by himself.  The whole thing blew.

I don't get crazy long, choreographed, songs spliced together first dances.

I don't get bouquets.  We had them because I didn't know what the hell else to do with my hands   I actually wanted my BMs to carry candles but they weren't comfortable with that so we went with flowers anyway.  I gave my florist free reign over the whole thing.  I don't even know what my flowers were called, that's how much I didn't care about that whole thing.

And finally, I don't get saving the dress as a hand me down.  I don't know anyone who has worn their mom's dress, nor have I known anyone who wanted to.  My dress is currently getting cut up to become a Christmas tree skirt.  That's an heirloom I can pass on!

LAURENFOLEY

I don't get all the "friends" that are suddenly popping out of the woodwork, hoping for an invite. We haven't spoken in 3 years, and suddenly you want to do lunch once a week and hear all about my planning? Nice...

BRIANNAT711

I DON'T GET JR. BRIDES OR JR.BRIDESMAIDS OR JR. GROOMSMEN, OR JR. ANYTHING IN YOUR WEDDING.

BRIANNAT711

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-dont?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1bf4f70a-6c9d-4923-8642-2c2b63a6fc80Post:85f4221c-a9c3-44e0-acd7-a1f08cb6dbd8">Re: WR "I don't get it"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: WR "I don't get it" : This kind of makes you sound like an asshole.
Posted by Ash2985[/QUOTE]
 DITTO, I LOOK GREAT IN STRAPLESS DRESSES AND IM NO SIZE 8!