How often do you talk to your (F)ILs?

polichik

I'm curious because we definitely talk to them less since we moved (we used to live 30 minutes away from them), and I think they're a bit... Displeased. I'm curious if we're in the norm or not.

This may be a P&R since DH and I finally have a day off together, but I'll check back in soon I miss you ladies!

Stackeye210

I talk to my IL's every day.  I love them like crazy and they're really the only people I know on the side of town I live on.  I'm sure I'm not the typical norm though. 

Night_Sprite

H talks to his people once every month or two.  I talk to my people 1-2 times per week.  We have very different family dynamics, so I can't say what your H's is with his parents.  However, if they're unhappy, could it hurt to call them more?

Trifury2007

We don't talk every week all the time but there are periods of time when we speak weekly.  We also try to have dinner with them every few months when they are not traveling.  They are really great people and I really appreciate them and enjoy their company. 

baystateapple

Once a week or so, at least my MIL.  My FIL doesn't speak to us, so we don't talk to him unless we're up there.  But I love my MIL, and I talk to her (phone or email) frequently.

ohwhynot

I only talk to my own mom about once a week to once every 10 days.   Before my dad died, I called them every 3-4 weeks, I guess.   H calls his mom, usually, about once every 3 weeks or so.  He's been calling her more often since the tragedy, because he is worried about her.

I talk with one of my sisters every couple of weeks, and the others range from once a month or so to never.  Same with H and his family. 

We both come from really big families, and we're both well into middle age, so I think both of those things make a difference.

SarahPLiz

I picked a few times a year. That's how often I personally talk to or see them. This year will be different because the wedding will be the 2nd time we've seen them this year. 

FI talks to (or attempts to talk to) his parents every Sunday. He gets his dad about every other week and his mom about once every 2 months. I prefer not to talk to them on the phone because I have a hard time understanding them and I hate to be that person that asks people to repeat what they are saying. Its easier for me to talk to them in person. 

FutureMrsFezz

H talks to his Dad a few times a week.  His mom, once a week.  MIL and I email back and forth every couple of weeks.  My mom I talk to everyday.  My dad- well, I work for him. 

Beachy730

MIL usually calls H's phone everyday, and then when he doesn't answer because he gets annoyed, she calls my phone.  Now that H is gone she has called me a few times, but she constantly posts on my FB.  She drives me nuts.  The other day she called me while I was working and left a voicemail about how she wants to mail me my Christmas gift so I don't have to fly with it.  Then she sent me the same message on FB.  Then text me to see if I got the messages, because she wanted to know if it was okay.  Seriously, you needed to know that minute if it was okay to mail me my Christmas gift over a month from now?

shaydenise

MIL/FIL a couple times a week.  BIL/SIL every day, usually via e-mail

arbolita

 MIL sends me a lot of CALLL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE messages to me on Facebook - usually at least once a week.  I make Mr. Arb call her when that happens, because the woman is socially awkward and will never let me off the phone.  I probably talk to her/see her once a month, sometimes less often.  I'd say with his dad and stepmom, it's once every 2-3 months

emilyinchile

We see my ILs about once a week, usually for lunch on Sundays. It's very standard in Chile to do big family lunches on the weekends, and for the most part I like it. Considering I talk to my dad every couple of days, I'd imagine that whenever we move, we'll still talk to the ILs once a week or so.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_talk-fils?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:42d12492-ac20-47ee-99e1-565e424bd6efPost:288bfe4d-ad0b-4e79-9595-973413062597">Re: How often do you talk to your (F)ILs?</a>:
[QUOTE] MIL sends me a lot of CALLL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE messages to me on Facebook - usually at least once a week.  I make Mr. Arb call her when that happens, because the woman is socially awkward and will never let me off the phone.  I probably talk to her/see her once a month, sometimes less often.  I'd say with his dad and stepmom, it's once every 2-3 months
Posted by arbolita[/QUOTE]

Haha that sounds like my MIL.  She is also notorious though for posting TMI on FB.  H doesn't have a FB account, so I'll always say "oh, your mom's status says..."
He just rolls his eyes.  His mom is harmless, but socially awkward as well.  She literally called both of our phones twice in a 20 minute period (we were at the dog park and left them home) to tell us that she wrapped some Christmas presents and they looked really funny. 

Calypso1977

we each talk to our own parents on a very regular basis.  but H rarely talks to my mom and i rarely talk to his parents.  in the era of cell phones, my IL's refuse to call the house number but rather contact H on his cell so i never get the chance to chat with them when they call.  i am not close enough to them to call or stop by on my own.

polichik

Night, I'm definitely not opposed to calling  them more often, but I'm just curious how often other people talk. We spoke more often about WR stuff too, and since we were engaged for two and a half years, it's different now since that's really been the topic that they wanted to talk about for that whole time. Now that we're married and OOT, it's just a different dynamic. The time change doesn't help, either :P

I just feel bad, because even though I make an effort to call them, DH just isn't really a phone person and never thinks of it.

crfische

I email with my MIL 3-4 times a week.I love her, I just hate talking on the phone and so does she.

We see them pretty often though, too. At least once a month, but we only live 2 hours away.

aplatanada

We talk to MIL and BIL1 once a week on Sundays.  We make a point of doing it because BIL1 is special needs and has had some confusion around why his brother isn't around as much.  (They live overseas.) FIL and BIL2 much less because they have their own weird dynamic.

H actually sees my parents more than I do at this point! He volunteers with my dad at a food pantry once a week. I talk on the phone with the 'rents maybe every 10 days or so.

kikibaby

My H isn't close to his parents, so we don't see or talk to them all that often.  He emails with his Dad semi-frequently, but usually business stuff, not personal.  I have seen his Dad twice this year, and his Mom maybe 3 times. 

He sees my parents more often because I'm really close to them, and they're only about 10 miles away.

eastunder1

He talks to his parents probaby once a week.  I talk to them twice a year when they visit.  Vise versa for mine.  I talk to my father weekly.  He never talks to him directly, they say hello through me.    I really like his parents, and he really likes mine,  we're just not wired like that.  We're each in charge on maintaining the relationhip for both of us with our own parents.  We live 1400 miles away from them, so I imagine that plays into it.  We saw them much. much more frequently when we all lived in the same area. 

tenofcups4me

I didn't vote because DH speaks to his parents far more than I talk to his parents. We have a very nice relationship, but to me, this has been the singlest biggest problem with cell phones -- they call his phone, which means I don't pick up and get even the casual chatter with them that I would if they called the house phone. So I usually only talk with them when we physically see them, which is usually every few months.

DH is really variable in how often he talks to them -- anywhere from a few times in a week to going several weeks without talking to them.

I, on the other hand, talk with my parents several times a week, sometimes every day when things are going on.  

golden1215

See them- once every few months because they live 4 hours away.

Talk to them a few times a month on the phone but H talks to them more like a few times a week.

I talk to my mom daily and see her 3-4 times per week.

Pirata13

I talk to my parents at least once a week if not more, and email or text MIL now and then. MIL & SFIL just moved back to our city, so we're stoked they are back. We had dinner with them last night.  Once we get through the holidays, we'll probably start to try to have everyone for dinner maybe every other week or at least once a month. I love to cook so I am all about it. FIL & SMIL we talk to less frequently. They live a couple hours away so don't get to see them as much. Again, after the holidays, we'll probably try to get up to see them more often as well. At least H's brothers & SILs are up there, so it's not like FIL/SMIL are secluded.

georgia_bride09

My H probably talks to his parents once or twice a week, depending on what's going on. I see my parents about once a week. I don't talk to my in-laws unless we're somewhere together, or his mom will occasionally call me if we have an event coming up.

ohwhynot

Funny how keeping up with family is often seen as the wife's deal, not the husband's no matter which side of the family is involved.  My MIL wouldn't be all that shocked if I called her up to say hi or make holiday plans, but my mother would keel over with shock if my H called her up for a little chat. 

Stackeye210

No, I totally didn't mean that you meant it in a bad way.  It's just how it is........and I, myself would have expected it to be that way also, but surprisingly it isn't. 

ohwhynot

You just have to rub your perfect life and perfect husband in my face, don't you?  DON"T YOU? 







;-)

Stackeye210

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_talk-fils?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:42d12492-ac20-47ee-99e1-565e424bd6efPost:08277e6c-a839-4152-97d3-22d00fc9abc2">Re: How often do you talk to your (F)ILs?</a>:
[QUOTE]You just have to rub your perfect life and perfect husband in my face, don't you?  DON"T YOU?  ;-)
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

ok, ok.......no more Mr Stack stories for a while, I promise. 

polichik

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_talk-fils?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:42d12492-ac20-47ee-99e1-565e424bd6efPost:429b4a19-59f9-4ca3-b479-90578fe06ef2">Re: How often do you talk to your (F)ILs?</a>:
[QUOTE]Funny how keeping up with family is often seen as the wife's deal, not the husband's no matter which side of the family is involved.  My MIL wouldn't be all that shocked if I called her up to say hi or make holiday plans, but my mother would keel over with shock if my H called her up for a little chat. 
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

This. I'm trying to encourage DH to call them more, since I don't want us to fall into that dynamic. I would never expect him to call my parents, but I know he'll happily say hi when I call them. H likes his parents just fine, but they've never really been close or chatty with each other.

I talk to my mom just about every day, my dad twice a week or so, and my little brother about every other week. I've always been close to them, so it just seems normal like that.

mandysmear

H calls his parents once a week usually.

I talk to his mom about once a month.  Usually via email or if I happen to be with him when he calls them.

H has been talking to them a lot more the past couple weeks though since we found out his mom has breast cancer.

Stackeye210

Aw - I'm sorry Mandy. 

ohwhynot

Mandy, that's awful.  I'm very sorry to hear that and my thoughts are with you guys.