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Wedding Etiquette Forum
Rude to not let guests bring +1's??
I'm on a budget...I set my guest list at 125. After family and close friends we're at 100 people. I can't have everyone bring a guest. What do I do???
Keep in mind...any friend who is married - we're friends with their SO...so they were invited too...and some BF's and GF's were invited too that we are close with.
HELP!!!!!
Keep in mind...any friend who is married - we're friends with their SO...so they were invited too...and some BF's and GF's were invited too that we are close with.
HELP!!!!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Rude to not let guests bring +1's??
Some couples meaning the ones we are both friends with. Some of the people have bf's/gf's neither of us would want there on our special day
[QUOTE]Thank you everyone :) Some couples meaning the ones we are both friends with.<strong> Some of the people have bf's/gf's neither of us would want there on our special day :)</strong>
Posted by justdreaming2[/QUOTE]
<div>Following it up with a smiley face doesn't make what you're planning to do any less rude and tacky.</div>
[QUOTE]Thank you everyone :) Some couples meaning the ones we are both friends with. Some of the people have bf's/gf's neither of us would want there on our special day :)
Posted by justdreaming2[/QUOTE]
You do not split up couples because you don't like your friend's partner. You invite social units as a couple based on their relationship, not whether or not you like the other person or even know them. If you invite me and you don't know my BF, you stil have to invite him.
Your special day stops being all about you when you involve others. Involve friends, you involve their SO's regardless of whether or not you know them or like them. To do otherwise would be incredibly rude.
[QUOTE]Thank you everyone :) Some couples meaning the ones we are both friends with. Some of the people have bf's/gf's neither of us would want there on our special day :)
Posted by justdreaming2[/QUOTE]
<div>How would you/your fiance feel if one of you was invited to a wedding without the other because the couple did not like you? Think about that, personally i would be insulted if my fiance got invited to a wedding & i didn't, doesn't matter the reason.</div>
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[QUOTE]Thank you everyone :) Some couples meaning the ones we are both friends with.<strong> Some of the people have bf's/gf's neither of us would want there on our special day :)</strong>
Posted by justdreaming2[/QUOTE]
If you don't want the bf/gf there, then don't invite the friend either. Regardless of how serious they are, if someone has a SO, you need to invite that SO.
And agreed with Steph. The smiley face doesn't make it any less rude/tacky.
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[QUOTE]Thank you everyone :) Some couples meaning the ones we are both friends with. <strong>Some of the people have bf's/gf's neither of us would want there on our special day</strong> :)
Posted by justdreaming2[/QUOTE]
<div>Too bad. You still have to invite them.</div>
[QUOTE]Thank you everyone :) Some couples meaning the ones we are both friends with.<strong> Some of the people have bf's/gf's neither of us would want there on our special day :)</strong>
Posted by justdreaming2[/QUOTE]
They have an SO you need to invite both of them. if you don't want their SO there don't invite the guest.
Hi OP. It sounds like you are not doing the correct thing. It doesn't matter if you like them or no them, as the other wise ladies have pointed out here, you cannot split up a social unit. They must be invited together. You'll have to re-evaluate your guest list if you want to avoid being rude.
Well, gee, all those declining because you snubbed their SOs should free up plenty of space!
If someone did this to me and my SO, it would be an automatic friendship ender.
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[QUOTE]Seriously, if a super close friend or family member told me that she simply could not afford to have everyone's SOs at the wedding, I would not be super excited about it, but I certainly would not throw a giant hissy fit and refuse to attend. Oh no! One evening/weeked away from my SO! It's the end of the world as we know it. It is not a big deal. If someone is going to refuse to attend your wedding without their bf or gf of six months, then save their invite for someone else.
Posted by musicalcanadianbride[/QUOTE]
This is extremely poor advice. Please reconsider posting on the etiquette board when about to post advice opposing proper etiquette.
[QUOTE]Seriously, if a super close friend or family member told me that she simply could not afford to have everyone's SOs at the wedding, I would not be super excited about it, but I certainly would not throw a giant hissy fit and refuse to attend. Oh no! One evening/weeked away from my SO! It's the end of the world as we know it. It is not a big deal. If someone is going to refuse to attend your wedding without their bf or gf of six months, then save their invite for someone else.
Posted by musicalcanadianbride[/QUOTE]
It's not the end of the world, but it's rude. Welcome to the etiquette board, where proper etiquette matters.
[QUOTE]Seriously, if a super close friend or family member told me that she simply could not afford to have everyone's SOs at the wedding, I would not be super excited about it, but I certainly would not throw a giant hissy fit and refuse to attend. Oh no! One evening/weeked away from my SO! It's the end of the world as we know it. It is not a big deal. If someone is going to refuse to attend your wedding without their bf or gf of six months, then save their invite for someone else.
Posted by musicalcanadianbride[/QUOTE]
No. Just no.
If someone is important enough to invite to your wedding, they're important enough to respect their relationship and the fact that they should be invited as a couple to events such as weddings. A wedding is NOT the same as a night out with the girls. I personally would not want to attend a wedding for someone who didn't respect me enough to invite my SO.
[QUOTE]Thank you everyone :) Some couples meaning the ones we are both friends with. <strong>Some of the people have bf's/gf's neither of us would want there on our special day :)</strong>
Posted by justdreaming2[/QUOTE]
That doesn't matter in the slightest. Either you invite both of the people in the relationship, or you invite neither, period.
Etiquette = rules, people. Rules are not opinions, they're rules. It's not my opinion that no one should steal my car, it's a rule. You may think it's a b/s rule, but guess what? It's still a rule, and you will still go to prison if you steal my car. Dress code at your job? Also a rule. You may not like that you can't wear beachwear to your job as an accountant, but guess what? Your stupid ass can still get fired for wearing beachwear to your job as an accountant. Etiquette's the same thing. You may not like that you have to invite SOs you don't know/don't like, but you still have to, if you want to avoid being a rude jerk. Anyone who tells you otherwise is simply encouraging you to be a rude jerk (and probably is one themselves).
/endrant.
[QUOTE]If you don't know your friends/family well enough to know whether they are in an actual serious relationship, or just casually dating somebody, then what are the doing on your guest list? The Brides.com community is much more realistic on this matter, I find.
Posted by musicalcanadianbride[/QUOTE]
You mean they're much more likely to validate your poor decisions. I bet they give you permission to kick out bridesmaids too.
Based on other advice I've seen you give, the comfort of the wedding guests isn't even secondary to "I'm the bride, it's all about meeeeeeeeeeee!" It's like third or fourth on the list of things that are important to you.
[QUOTE]The Brides.com community is much more realistic on this matter, I find.
Posted by musicalcanadianbride[/QUOTE]
Buahahahaha
[QUOTE]Why would I kick out my bridesmaids? We all like each other. Everyone takes themselves WAY too seriously. It's only a wedding. Yes, it's a big day, but the marriage is a lot more important than the guest list.
Posted by musicalcanadianbride[/QUOTE]
If the guest list is so unimportant, that I'm sure it doesn't matter if you invite one or two extra people, and follow etiquette appropriately.
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