**Ang**

thesuninherhead

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ang-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:682a3755-798a-436c-bb04-5ade2427b235Post:454bef64-ae68-4a74-ac8d-c65afd61a273">Re: **Ang**</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi! I have not updated. I have been busy with wrapping up classes. I am doing well actually. I had to slap myself in the face and remind myself that I did not want to be that sad, depressed shell of a person I was before. I am back on track. I spoke to my H that day and told him how disappointed I was in myself b/c I did not make it through Thanksgiving and he said, "Well, you still have Chirstmas to try."   When I first stopped, I was making the days on a calendar of each day I did not make myself sick. I stopped doing that at about the fourth month and I got over confident and thought I was "cured". I see now that THAT was a mistake and that everyday I have to be mindful of my actions, so I am marking the days again. How are you doing?
Posted by ricksang[/QUOTE]

I am so glad to read this, ricks.

As has been mentioned, it's an addiction and you have to continually manage it- including knowing your triggers and staying mindful of keeping yourself well, even when you feel so sure you won't slip back. It's a continual management cycle, really, and sometimes it's much easier to give in than it is to keep yourself well, but being well is so rewarding. You're so right that slipping into that eventually leaves you as a 'shell of a person', and you deserve more happiness in your life than that. As I said before, we all slip from time to time- it's best not to beat yourself up over that but to dust yourself off and move on in a positive way.

ricksang

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ang-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:682a3755-798a-436c-bb04-5ade2427b235Post:6178c62e-eee4-4e2e-a3f2-d5d5184174b3">Re: **Ang**</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: **Ang** : I am so glad to read this, ricks. As has been mentioned, it's an addiction and you have to continually manage it- including knowing your triggers and staying mindful of keeping yourself well, even when you feel so sure you won't slip back. It's a continual management cycle, really, and sometimes it's much easier to give in than it is to keep yourself well, but being well is so rewarding. You're so right that slipping into that eventually leaves you as a 'shell of a person', and you deserve more happiness in your life than that. As I said before, we all slip from time to time- it's best not to beat yourself up over that but to dust yourself off and move on in a positive way.
Posted by thesuninherhead[/QUOTE]

Sun, I read your post in my confession last week. It was very helpful, ty.

beatlesgirl25

Janice is a super femme muppet, aside from Miss Piggy of course. Alright, thanks for indulging the muppet talk... can't believe it went on this long!

JK, you are gorgeous. It's nice to hear you appreciating that about yourself. EDIT: I also am a member of the fat bottom lip club. Yay!

Ricks, sorry for the threadjack. I just wanted to let you guys know I support you. I was thinking about Kati after lala's thread oh so many weeks ago, and you since yours last week. Keep your head up.

JK10910

Thanks Beatles!

Plus, everyone loves a love fest thread jack. 

...I think...

ricksang

I like threadjacks!

BecW2be

I missed all the prompt for this post, but I think you are all adorable. And I love you.

ricksang

Love you too Bec!

beatlesgirl25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ang-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:682a3755-798a-436c-bb04-5ade2427b235Post:4880ecdd-7363-4c86-8467-17b5ebc9dfb0">Re: **Ang**</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks Beatles! Plus, everyone loves a love fest thread jack.  ...I think...
Posted by JK10910[/QUOTE]

Here's some more love then:

I like thesun's advice on things like this. She does a really good job of providing psychoeducation without being condescending. You can tell she cares, and I think the things she advises on are very beneficial.

Also, I <3 Bec too.

JK10910

I also like thesun's advice.  I super liked her advice to me the other day.  She gives kick ass advice. 

And she's darn pretty too! 

And, I love Bec.  And she's pretty too!  And I want her shoes.

Kati0105

I like thesun's advice on things like this. She does a really good job of providing psychoeducation without being condescending. You can tell she cares, and I think the things she advises on are very beneficial.

I'll ditto this.  There was a "Secrets" post by Fischy the other night and thesun gave some great advice to a poster I didn't recognize.

thesuninherhead

You're welcome, my dear. I'm glad that it helped.

So many of us have (sadly) been there before. It's very possible to be well and stay well, though, and also so very worth it. I know that both you and Kati are strong enough to get beyond this.

thesuninherhead

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ang-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:682a3755-798a-436c-bb04-5ade2427b235Post:12235b8d-9b51-4fda-9ad0-82315a5502c8">Re: **Ang**</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: **Ang** : Here's some more love then: I like thesun's advice on things like this. She does a really good job of providing psychoeducation without being condescending. You can tell she cares, and I think the things she advises on are very beneficial. Also, I <3 Bec too.
Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]
Aww you are all too sweet!

I just speak what I see as the truth. I try not to be condescending, although sometimes I can be very to-the-point. It pains me to see so many beautiful, lovely people engaging in self-loathing, and I honestly believe that living a full and awesome life is possible for all of us, so I try to help encourage others to see the world with the same positivity. Everyone deserves to be happy.

(and yes, I am a psychologist. But I'm actually not interested in clinical work, although you wouldn't know it from my posts here, haha!).

ricksang

I was wondering what you did for a living Sun, but I felt it was rude to ask since you said you worked with some pretty depressing cases. That is an awesome/interesting field and you seem to do it very well!

thesuninherhead

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ang-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:682a3755-798a-436c-bb04-5ade2427b235Post:47df34a4-3eb0-4494-88ae-7f2910771d0f">Re: **Ang**</a>:
[QUOTE]I also like thesun's advice.  I super liked her advice to me the other day.  She gives kick ass advice.  And she's darn pretty too!  Posted by JK10910[/QUOTE]
Thank you, dear! I can't actually recall what advice I gave to you, but I'm glad it was good! haha. You are too sweet!

(lots of love happening in this thread!)

ricksang

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ang-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:682a3755-798a-436c-bb04-5ade2427b235Post:a0122a34-56b8-4f2f-b2bb-77c790deb639">Re: **Ang**</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: **Ang** : Thank you, dear! I can't actually recall what advice I gave to you, but I'm glad it was good! haha. You are too sweet! (<strong>lots of love happening in this thread!)
</strong>Posted by thesuninherhead[/QUOTE]

That's the way I like it!

thesuninherhead

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ang-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:682a3755-798a-436c-bb04-5ade2427b235Post:5564a727-3b6f-42f3-b887-7975c9b288ee">Re: **Ang**</a>:
[QUOTE]I was wondering what you did for a living Sun, but I felt it was rude to ask since you said you worked with some pretty depressing cases. That is an awesome/interesting field and you seem to do it very well!
Posted by ricksang[/QUOTE]
Thanks ricks. I find my job very fulfilling because it is such a worthwhile area to work in. I don't do clinical work, but the research that I do helps alter policy, which ultimately influences the lives of many kids and helps protect vulnerable children from harm. I am glad that I am able to contribute to that, and I couldn't think of an area I'd rather work in, despite the challenges.

ricksang

That is a great area to focus on! You are very important to those children.
 I  DO want to work in clinical nutrition. I am in love with it so far.

JK10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ang-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:682a3755-798a-436c-bb04-5ade2427b235Post:a0122a34-56b8-4f2f-b2bb-77c790deb639">Re: **Ang**</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: **Ang** : Thank you, dear! I can't actually recall what advice I gave to you, but I'm glad it was good! haha. You are too sweet! (lots of love happening in this thread!)
Posted by thesuninherhead[/QUOTE]

It was in the secrets thread.  I mentioned I'm pretty sure I'm depressed but don't want to get help.  You had lots of nice thigns to say about getting help :)

Also, I love what you do.  My one regret about dropping out of my grad program to find a different one is I was totally excited about my thesis, which I now won't be able to do.

thesuninherhead

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ang-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:682a3755-798a-436c-bb04-5ade2427b235Post:4804a215-df10-44bc-bf99-9d3eb6a2afa0">Re: **Ang**</a>:
[QUOTE]That is a great area to focus on! You are very important to those children.  I  DO want to work in clinical nutrition. I am in love with it so far.
Posted by ricksang[/QUOTE]

It's awesome that you've found an area you love! Working one-on-one with people can be very rewarding, and nutrition is a very important field. Would you prefer to work with adults or children (or both)?

thesuninherhead

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ang-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:682a3755-798a-436c-bb04-5ade2427b235Post:cd15381f-7156-4bad-a146-1e2577c33336">Re: **Ang**</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: **Ang** : It was in the secrets thread.  I mentioned I'm pretty sure I'm depressed but don't want to get help.  You had lots of nice thigns to say about getting help :) Also, I love what you do.  My one regret about dropping out of my grad program to find a different one is I was totally excited about my thesis, which I now won't be able to do.
Posted by JK10910[/QUOTE]
Oh, of course, I remember now- my advice in which I referenced Freud! :P

Can you not find supervisors to do a similar thesis within the new program?

ricksang

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ang-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:682a3755-798a-436c-bb04-5ade2427b235Post:0f0db787-b26c-468a-9d70-7af13122ac70">Re: **Ang**</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: **Ang** : It's awesome that you've found an area you love! Working one-on-one with people can be very rewarding, and nutrition is a very important field. Would you prefer to work <strong>with adults or children (or both</strong>)?
Posted by thesuninherhead[/QUOTE]

Women and girls.

JK10910

Sun, I wouldn't need a thesis in the type of program I'm going to go into--I was in a MS in Forensic psych program and I'm going to do a MSW instead.  So they have a final research project, but the way I understand it is most of them are more like lit reviews, not original research.  And what I wanted to look at has virtually no research out there yet, at least that we could find. 

thesuninherhead

Eating disorder related (or another specific area?), or just general nutrition?

Personally, although I totally get the drive to work in ED support areas after having gone through my own struggle, I wouldn't ever do it- I just couldn't put myself in such a triggering environment. There was a time when I thought I'd become an eating-disorder clinical psychologist or researcher... but ultimately, I don't think I would be any help to anyone if I were to fall back into that, and I'd rather not tempt myself like that. There are people that can do it though, and I give them much credit for being able to. I'm strong and focused on my health, but I know I would have difficulty maintaining it in an environment of constant triggers.

thesuninherhead

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ang-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:682a3755-798a-436c-bb04-5ade2427b235Post:fe5fdfd1-32ec-4e9c-8613-9ee93dd3cac6">Re: **Ang**</a>:
[QUOTE]Sun, I wouldn't need a thesis in the type of program I'm going to go into--I was in a MS in Forensic psych program and I'm going to do a MSW instead.  So they have a final research project, but the way I understand it is most of them are more like lit reviews, not original research.  And what I wanted to look at has virtually no research out there yet, at least that we could find. 
Posted by JK10910[/QUOTE]
What was your undergrad degree in? Social work or psych (or something else? I'm not sure how they do it in the states)?

What research area were you wanting to examine?

ricksang

Actually, me focusing on helping people like me is what has kept me on track for a year.Overeating messed me up. I know better not to stuff myself-HUGE TRIGGER.
 I have one and half more years of classes and then internship, so if I feel Eating Disorders is too much for me, I will change my mind. I love clinical nutrition so as long as I am working in a hospital setting, I will be happy. I am hoping EDs is what I do though. My current psych is a recoving Anorexic and she is the only person who has gotten through to me. I believe the best people to help with addictions are the ones who have lived them, KWIM?What do you think?

thesuninherhead

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ang-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:682a3755-798a-436c-bb04-5ade2427b235Post:e5cbc637-6865-4c43-9bd3-2dbd87cab297">Re: **Ang**</a>:
[QUOTE]Actually, me focusing on helping people like me is what has kept me on track for a year.Overeating messed me up. I know better not to stuff myself-HUGE TRIGGER.  I have one and half more years of classes and then internship, so if I feel Eating Disorders is too much for me, I will change my mind. I love clinical nutrition so as long as I am working in a hospital setting, I will be happy. I am hoping EDs is what I do though. My current psych is a recoving Anorexic and she is the only person who has gotten through to me. I believe the best people to help with addictions are the ones who have lived them, KWIM?What do you think?
Posted by ricksang[/QUOTE]

Well, aside from the fact I have no clue what KWIM stands for (<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />): I agree that many of the people who best understand are those who have been in the same (or similar) situations. I think it would take a lot of mindfulness to keep yourself well in an environment like that, though. There are people who do it and I think they deserve a lot of praise. I guess for me, I managed to get to a point where the illness no longer defined my identity, and I didn't want to continue along a path of eating-disorder based work partially as a result of that. Also, I'm very aware of my triggers- and listening to highly eating disordered people talk about their illness is one of them, as well as being exposed to really thin girls. I think if you're far enough removed from your own struggle that you don't find your mindset echoing your patients, one could do it- but I do think that it would still be difficult. Rewarding, of course, but also a challenge to stay healthy (or at least, it would be for me. I guess for some people, it could be that interacting with these girls actually reinforces their desire to be healthy. Certainly, there's a part of me that thinks like that, but I do find that my internal ED dialogue increases when I'm exposed to a lot of ed-type material). So I guess what I'm saying is that being mindful and self-monitoring would really be what I would consider the key to staying healthy while working in an environment like that.

I do agree though that those who help often have had personal experience with some form of addiction. Some of the best therapy I received during my illness was actually group therapy (although the beneficial thing wasn't the group aspect, but the content itself) delivered by a man who had a lot of addictions experience. I don't know that it was a personal struggle of his for sure, but I do suspect so based on his understanding of the illness and the things he said... The content of his sessions really helped me to find within myself a desire to treat myself in a better way than what I had been.

Whatever happens, I'm sure you're going to be an awesome nutritionist. There's so much work out there for nutritionists, and certainly there's lots of ED based work if that's what you end up working in. I think it'd be a very rewarding job.

ricksang

Your post makes a lot of sense. My health is the most important thing so I will def keep this stuff in mind before I jump into anything.

KWIM= know what I mean

thesuninherhead

(and you know, thinking some more about what I do now: I think the key to doing work in these types of 'helping' fields is to refrain from identifying with your clients. It's one thing to understand, and another to personally take on the burden of the client's experience. In my current role, I cope well because I don't identify with the abuse type content that I'm being exposed to. I think in an ed-based role, if you feel far enough removed from your own issues that you don't personally identify with the struggles of your clients, you probably would have a much easier time maintaining your own well-being. Certainly, there's people in child protection who simply cannot do the work because of the emotional toll that comes with identifying with the children- especially for people who've had their own experiences of abuse as children. I guess it's really very similar to what we're discussing with ED's and working in an ED area. In any area, you have to maintain your own well-being, but particularly when it comes to something that is so close to your own experiences).

ricksang

I don't know what to say to this, but I agree lol! I am hoping I can do the work though. Who knows. I know right now it (future goal)  is what drives me to stay focused.

JK10910

Oops, sorry Sun, I missed that.  I don't even know if you're still here.  My undergrad degree was in Corrections with a Psych double major.

I wanted to look at stuff with sex offender legislation.  Basically if a sex offender gets assaulted, stalked, harrassed, etc because they're forced to notify their neighbors (not saying I don't think that's a good idea or anything), if victim blame (with the victim being the sex offender) affects jury decision making.  We were also going to do a condition in which we tried to elicit empathy (for the sex offender/victim) and see if that changed anything.