unpopular opinions

louisvillebride21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74b45cf6-3ed2-41af-8a54-efa9e4ef124cPost:113fac25-bc25-4a2e-9de5-1583c68969f6">Re: unpopular opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: unpopular opinions : Because we all have to live with that kid when it grows up and becomes an adult. 
Posted by mandapanda78[/QUOTE]
That's on the premise that ALL AP kids grow up to be brats. Does it look like all well disciplined kids turned out to be great adults? I have a million anecdotes on kids that didn't turn out so great, even with great parenting.

georgia_bride09

[QUOTE]I don't know why so many people give a crap about how someone ELSE raises THEIR kid.
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

Yeah, totally this. You want to BF your first grader? Please go right ahead; it's none of my damn business.  

mandapanda78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74b45cf6-3ed2-41af-8a54-efa9e4ef124cPost:77e5946f-01bd-4338-9aa7-c80aae64868e">Re: unpopular opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: unpopular opinions : That's on the premise that ALL AP kids grow up to be brats. Does it look like all well disciplined kids turned out to be great adults? I have a million anecdotes on kids that didn't turn out so great, even with great parenting.
Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

<div>I said absolutely nothing about AP or any parenting style whatsoever. I was answering kiki's question: why would you care how someone else raises their kid?</div>

laladypoet

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74b45cf6-3ed2-41af-8a54-efa9e4ef124cPost:0948421c-0fef-4d9c-9a68-2a9e7082b3b5">Re: unpopular opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]lala - it's not a law.  it's not about being "allowed" or not to tell your child no.  it's a choice. when my baby was hungry, i fed her.  when she cried, i picked her up.  not because anyone told me to, but because that's what i wanted to do. i disagree with the anti-feminism argument, because i felt pretty empowered to raise her how i wanted to and my FI supported me 100%.
Posted by xyrius[/QUOTE]
of course it's a choice. it's a choice I happen to not agree with. that's the whole point of this argument.

kikibaby

There's going to be a lot of f*cked up people in the world, for all kinds of reasons.  I don't think the way someone raises their kid is any of my business, unless they're being abusive. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74b45cf6-3ed2-41af-8a54-efa9e4ef124cPost:da312784-3360-4b62-b1dc-e4bce0694b7b">Re: unpopular opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]Extended breastfeeding really creeps me out.
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

I think the World Health Organization recommends breast feeding at least through age 1, which is fine with me. I'm going to assume most kids would wean by 18 months. I don't know many 3 year-olds who have bottles, unless their parents suck, and therefore no, they shouldn't be breastfeeding. They don't need the nutrition in breast milk at that point. They can eat real food.

louisvillebride21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74b45cf6-3ed2-41af-8a54-efa9e4ef124cPost:7b980df5-7286-47e7-a448-2846612f80ac">Re: unpopular opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: unpopular opinions : it's one of the fundamental beliefs of AP. come on now.
Posted by laladypoet[/QUOTE]
Not really, as far as I understand it. As I said, I believe in redirection, not catering to their every whim. I believe that up to a certain age, they can't be spoiled. So yes, I will pick up my child when it cries, feed it when it wants to be fed and give it everything it needs adn wants. Until it becomes a point where they can congitavely realize that this behavior=this reaction. Then things will change. I guess I'm more AP for BABIES and very young toddlers. And I pick and choose the things I want to do, I don't plan on following Dr. Sears to a T, by any means.

Rosie109

A casino was opened today a few miles from me, and I have a very unpopular opinion about it. I wish it would go the f away. I don't buy the BS that it will generate jobs and keep gamblers from going to DE park or Atlantic City or Charlestown. I think its disgusting and just a tax on the poor.

louisvillebride21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74b45cf6-3ed2-41af-8a54-efa9e4ef124cPost:e0e0bb17-483b-4f96-a6eb-eac4a8257127">Re: unpopular opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: unpopular opinions : I said absolutely nothing about AP or any parenting style whatsoever. I was answering kiki's question: why would you care how someone else raises their kid?
Posted by mandapanda78[/QUOTE]
My mistake, I thought you were weighing in on the discussion.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I DO think unschooling is pretty weird, but homeschooling can be done well. Since we're talking about the extremes of APing.

mandapanda78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74b45cf6-3ed2-41af-8a54-efa9e4ef124cPost:20eaa398-eff8-4b41-8b63-bc2eef263084">Re: unpopular opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]There's going to be a lot of f*cked up people in the world, for all kinds of reasons.  I don't think the way someone raises their kid is any of my business, unless they're being abusive. 
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

<div>Having an opinion does not equal "making it my business". </div>

laladypoet

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74b45cf6-3ed2-41af-8a54-efa9e4ef124cPost:c8814685-4c06-4d65-81ea-6d98b008dabb">Re: unpopular opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, totally this. You want to BF your first grader? Please go right ahead; it's none of my damn business.  
Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]

recognizing that something is none of my business doesn't stop me from judging. I'm not going out there on a crusade trying to make AP illegal or something. at the end of the day, I know it's up to each parent. doesn't mean I'm not allowed to judge it, though.
if we didn't judge things that were none of our business, we wouldn't have anything to talk about. seriously.

salt78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74b45cf6-3ed2-41af-8a54-efa9e4ef124cPost:940f9167-40ce-46d7-9f1e-d0ba6862144d">Re: unpopular opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: unpopular opinions : When do you think it should stop? The guideline says 6-9 months. So you're def going to stop at their 9 month birthday, at the latest? (assuming you're going to bf of course). I agree that once they can ask for it clearly, it's probably over. Although I don't think I'd have a problem continuing to pump and bottle feed breast milk.
Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Yes I'll breastfeed. The idea of it will always weird me out, but I understand the necessity. I'd like to go for maybe 6 months and then pump if necessary. That's just my personal preference.</div><div>
</div><div>As far as extended is concerned though, I think as long as they can ask for it, it's bizarre. I know someone that breastfed her son until almost age 2. She's awesome and he's a great kid, but I still think it's really weird. At that point there really is no nutritional value to it anyway.<div>
</div><div>
</div></div>

xyrius

mery - the world health organization recommends breastfeeding (not exclusive) to 2 years and beyond

http://www.who.int/nutrition/topics/infantfeeding_recommendation/en/index.html

cengle

The thing that bothers me about co-sleeping is that it seems risky to me.  What happens when one of you rolls over and suffocates your baby? 
*Disclaimer: I'm not terribly educated in the AP principles, but from what I've heard, I don't think I'm much of a fan for most of it.

louisvillebride21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74b45cf6-3ed2-41af-8a54-efa9e4ef124cPost:11620530-baac-45d3-8a1f-81fd17df71bb">Re: unpopular opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]I DO think unschooling is pretty weird, but homeschooling can be done well. Since we're talking about the extremes of APing.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I don't get unschooling either. Homeschooling is whatever, but it's not for me. I don't think I'm smart enough to get my kid through middle school math and science lol

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74b45cf6-3ed2-41af-8a54-efa9e4ef124cPost:7aa28500-4189-4a8d-8376-4c42e0c56f7d">Re: unpopular opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: unpopular opinions : Not really, as far as I understand it. As I said, I believe in redirection, not catering to their every whim. I believe that up to a certain age, they can't be spoiled. So yes, I will pick up my child when it cries, feed it when it wants to be fed and give it everything it needs adn wants. Until it becomes a point where they can congitavely realize that this behavior=this reaction. Then things will change. I guess I'm more AP for BABIES and very young toddlers. <strong>And I pick and choose the things I want to do, I don't plan on following Dr. Sears to a T, by any means.</strong>
Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

This to me seems so obvious, yet clearly it isn't (what I've gathered from TBPS and all the parenting style secrets on there). If you do AP to an extreme, you are a crazy who's possibly screwing up your kid. If you do the opposite, you are a crazy who's possibly screwing up your kid. I don't get why there's this expectation of picking one method when really all a "method" is just an amalgamation of choices someone else decided to make. As a parent, it seems like you should make individual choices based on your child and situation rather than blindly following some kind of manual, even if you tend to lean more toward one general parenting style.

laladypoet

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74b45cf6-3ed2-41af-8a54-efa9e4ef124cPost:20eaa398-eff8-4b41-8b63-bc2eef263084">Re: unpopular opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]There's going to be a lot of f*cked up people in the world, for all kinds of reasons.  I don't think the way someone raises their kid is any of my business, unless they're being abusive. 
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]
so? I don't think other peoples' wedding choices are anyone else's business, but it doesn't stop the judgment, does it?

louisvillebride21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74b45cf6-3ed2-41af-8a54-efa9e4ef124cPost:e0358a27-883a-4019-b863-205eb2742bb1">Re: unpopular opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]The thing that bothers me about co-sleeping is that it seems risky to me.  What happens when one of you rolls over and suffocates your baby?  *Disclaimer: I'm not terribly educated in the AP principles, but from what I've heard, I don't think I'm much of a fan for most of it.
Posted by cengle[/QUOTE]

They make things that sit next to the bed that maek it very unlikely. You'd have to actually kinda crawl into it to roll over on it. But yea, some do have the baby sleep in the middle in a little....foam thingy. I don't agree with that AT ALL.

<a href="http://www.armsreach.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=3_1&products_id=16" rel="nofollow">http://www.armsreach.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=3_1&products_id=16</a>

mandapanda78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74b45cf6-3ed2-41af-8a54-efa9e4ef124cPost:6b612378-acba-48e8-9cc0-5d47b8860193">Re: unpopular opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: unpopular opinions : so? I don't think other peoples' wedding choices are anyone else's business, but it doesn't stop the judgment, does it?
Posted by laladypoet[/QUOTE]

<div>It's all fun and games until someone feels like they're the ones being judged. </div>

reddy123

Co-sleeping creeps me out. It just does. I'm with Salt, after 3 or so they need a big boy bed.

And I would care if a 1st grader was being breastfed, because they might have inappropriate conversations/actions with a 1st grader who doesn't even know what breastfeeding is.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74b45cf6-3ed2-41af-8a54-efa9e4ef124cPost:76ba744c-7821-4288-9bea-70a53c813401">Re: unpopular opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]mery - the world health organization recommends breastfeeding (not exclusive) to 2 years and beyond <a href="http://www.who.int/nutrition/topics/infantfeeding_recommendation/en/index.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.who.int/nutrition/topics/infantfeeding_recommendation/en/index.html</a>
Posted by xyrius[/QUOTE]

Thanks for the link!

I do plan on breastfeeding at least through 18 months. So we'll see.

louisvillebride21

I think we're discussing in a circle here. Lala isn't being mean or calling anyone stupid. She's saying she judges someone. I disagree with the judgement and that's that. I hate some other people's judgements.

I even have one of my own. I judge people who back in to parking spots. Like seriously, how important are you that you ahve to make a quick get away?

waltzingmatilda13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74b45cf6-3ed2-41af-8a54-efa9e4ef124cPost:6f1c5a92-e381-4434-a0ae-b4357a9da1e1">Re: unpopular opinions</a>:
[QUOTE] I even have one of my own. I judge people who back in to parking spots. Like seriously, how important are you that you ahve to make a quick get away?
Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

I kid you not, my H said this to me almost word for word yesterday.

louisvillebride21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74b45cf6-3ed2-41af-8a54-efa9e4ef124cPost:774158f7-d9fc-4614-8b29-59cf6f43952a">Re: unpopular opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]Co-sleeping creeps me out. It just does. I'm with Salt, after 3 or so they need a big boy bed. <strong>And I would care if a 1st grader was being breastfed, because they might have inappropriate conversations/actions with a 1st grader who doesn't even know what breastfeeding is.</strong>
Posted by reddy123[/QUOTE]
Well to me, that's silly reasoning. That's too much sheltering for my tastes. But then again, I don't ever plan on telling my kid taht the stork brought them.

laladypoet

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74b45cf6-3ed2-41af-8a54-efa9e4ef124cPost:6f1c5a92-e381-4434-a0ae-b4357a9da1e1">Re: unpopular opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]I think we're discussing in a circle here. Lala isn't being mean or calling anyone stupid. She's saying she judges someone. I disagree with the judgement and that's that. I hate some other people's judgements. I even have one of my own. I judge people who back in to parking spots. <strong>Like seriously, how important are you that you ahve to make a quick get away?</strong>
Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]
BAHAHAHAHA!!! awesome! I never thought of that :) I never got why people do that either.

Stackeye210

AP was never an option Mr Stack and I considered with Jocelyn.  I've never even researched it to be honest so I only know about the little parts that have been talked about here. 

I would never consider feeding Jocelyn in my bed, or laying in my bed for any reason.  That was one of the first rules we made when we brought her home, absolutely no co-sleeping.  We also made sure to lay her down half asleep and not fully asleep so that she'd learn early on to fall asleep in her bed.  We have never had any bedtime issues with her and I believe it's because of this. 

I think bottom line with any parenting is consistency and allowing them to grow up! 

andy71781

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:74b45cf6-3ed2-41af-8a54-efa9e4ef124cPost:774158f7-d9fc-4614-8b29-59cf6f43952a">Re: unpopular opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]Co-sleeping creeps me out. It just does. I'm with Salt, after 3 or so they need a big boy bed. And I would care if a 1st grader was being breastfed, because they might have inappropriate conversations/actions with a 1st grader who doesn't even know what breastfeeding is.
Posted by reddy123[/QUOTE]

I was with you until the last part - what would an inappropriate convo/actions re breast feeeding be?  I'm pretty sure the 1st grader should understand what breast feeding is.

cengle

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:74b45cf6-3ed2-41af-8a54-efa9e4ef124cPost:6f1c5a92-e381-4434-a0ae-b4357a9da1e1">Re: unpopular opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]I judge people who back in to parking spots. Like seriously, how important are you that you ahve to make a quick get away?
Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

*snort*  I guess you just never know...

crfische

I BACK INTO PARKING SPOTS. STOP JUDGING MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

But I really do. Especially at sporting events. It just seems smart to me.