Evening thread

JessAndTrav

I'm extra pissed about it these days, because it's just so infuriating to me.

The only reason it's gone on this long is because I honestly was too busy to notice, and then I sat down and counted how many months it's been, and July happens to be 1 year since he paid last. When we got him the phone, he gave us $50 up front for the first 5 months and that was it.

I know I can't be that mad if I've never said anything, but holyshit he's 30. Get it together.

sarabear23

Thanks again Dot! I'm planning on calling the vet tomorrow also to see what they say.

Jess, I'd be super irritated. Can you suspend his line until he pays?

JessAndTrav

I could, but I just can't do that, because I don't want to start stupid family drama. 

Currently, our extended family members have taken massive doses of BSC meds or something, because the drama in our family is like, out of control, so I don't want to add to anything.

I had this plan to confront him and be lke, you have 2 options:

1. Pay me 1/2 of what you owe now + the $10/month effective immediately and keep the phone

2. Pay me when you're ready, but give me the phone back.

I talked to my mom about my idea, and she was saying that all of this family drama is really affecting him and she didn't want to add more to his plate, blah blah blah.

So I chose not to do that, but I also reminded her that the next time he's an asshat to me, (which unfortunately is somewhat frequently) I probably will go back to my original plan, since, afterall, I'm not an effing doormat.

I'm so annoyed by it that I had to hide that post he made on FB because it's just making me mad thinking about it.

amorg334

Jess I understand. My brother is 27 and I put him on my phone plan so my parents and grandparents would be able to get a hold of him since he will disappear and no one will hear from him for days and days at a time and he lives at there house.  He was only supposed to pay me $10 a month but I have not seen any of it myself.  It is very frustrating because if I need a ride somewhere he tries to charge me gas money.  Maybe our brothers are friends?

JessAndTrav

Something that annoys me more? He regularly smokes weed and cigarettes.

WTF? If you have money for weed and cigarettes, you have money for your phone, unless you're literally always bumming off of someone else.

And when it comes to the weed---um, can we grow up please? You aren't 15 anymore.

JessAndTrav

My sister and I talk about how my mom enables him, which is ironic, because my mom had a brother that her mother was always enabling, and it drove her crazy.

My brother does have some problems that he legitimately cannot help, but he's not like, helpless or anything. 

I do expect him to start paying immediately and we'll figure out what he owes later, but it's just so frustrating I can hardly handle it.

I would've followed through with what was I was thinking about, (I felt like it was reasonable) if we weren't having so much family drama, but I just can't contribute to the drama.

FWIW, I sent my sister a text about wanting to comment on his status about "maybe that's because you didn't pay your bill" and she enjoys the thought as well.

Thank God she's a normal person. I'd go crazy if it wasn't for her.

amorg334

Wow Jess that is my brother to a T.  They really must be secret friends.  I do not get how my brother has money for drugs and cigs and whatever else.  But my grandma pays his bills even though she doesnt have the money and he constantly gives her money and borrows it back.  I tell him all the time you are almost 27 grow up.  Even though my fiance and I live in my grandparents house we pay all of our own bills and buy all our own food and they are okay with that because they know we are saving for the wedding and a house 

JessAndTrav

They're probably like, internet besties.

Not to flood this with my personal drama, but our grandmother died a couple of weeks ago, and literally hours after she passed, he was screaming at me about something we disagreed on, and then tried to turn his misplaced emotion on me, saying that I was the problem. 

It made me mad, but it also hurt my feelings that he would make it seem as if I was trying to start crap within hours of my grandmother's passing. I know that emotions run high when someone dies, and I know it probably wasn't intentional, but you know, there's always true feelings behind thing that people say.

I told my mom that, and she agreed that he was out of line, so when I agreed to not push the delayed payments right now, I told her that I hope that she takes the time to explain to him just how nice I'm being, when he's a total jerk to me and has always been a jerk to me.

And I'm beating myself up for still being upset, because I'm not a grudge-holder, but I'm still hurt by what he said that day.

amorg334

I understand.  I really try not to hold grudges as well.  You do not need to beat yourself up.  He acts that way because he gets away with it.  It is unfortunate that he acts that way and honestly if your mom keeps fighting his battles he will never really take responsibility.  As for the internet flooding with drama it doesn't bother me much because its always nice to know some one else goes through what I go through and such a similar situation.  That may sound strange but it is difficult to talk to others who do not know it personally because they do not fully understand what it is really like to live with it.  

JessAndTrav

I didn't even intend to talk about alll of this here---but he made that's stupid post and it made me mad. 

My sister and I are planning on talking to my mom about how she handles him. Like I said, he does have some problems that he can't help, and I get it, she loves him and she wants to help him, but he needs to be responsible.

And yes, it's only $10, what's the big deal, but that's $120 a year, so $240 for the length of his phone contract.

Basically, he doesn't adapt to sudden changes well, and he's also dealing with some emotions from something he went through earlier this year, so between those emotions, losing our grandmother and our current family drama, he's having trouble coping, which empathize with, but you know, just because life is hard, it's not like I can decide to hold the baby in until conditions improve.

Life happens and you adjust. It bothers me that she won't help him cope...it's more like she helps him avoid.