Unpopular Opinions

MattsPenguin

Late as usual, but FOR THE RECORD:  The USA does NOT have an official language.  It just happens that most people speak English.  But seeing as it is not an official language, we cannot require people to speak English.  It just might make their (and your) lives easier.

ETA:  this point was already made.  C'est la vie!

SEWF

I have never traveled outside the country, but my coworkers who have tell me that if you at least try to speak the language in a foreign country, they are much more likely to help you with what you need. One coworker said that while he was in France, they were more likely to reply to you in English if you try to ask something in French.

I grew in in a predominately Hispanic area. The school I went to only spoke English (the area very quickly switched for Polish/German to Hispanic). So all of the Hispanic kids were so behind because of the language barrier. I understand that. But don't fire teachers because they don't know Spanish and can't help these kids more. The school actually tried to do this, instead of maybe, I don't know, teaching English classes.

I believe that when you go to a different country, you should try to learn at least the basics of the local communication. However, I believe that we should help those people who do try. We can't just say, "Oh, I don't understand you, too bad".

Moneypenny424

One opinion generally won't turn me off of someone, but this fluent English one does.  This may be unpopular, but if you have this opinion, I generally think you'll have some racist attitudes.  You have no idea if people are trying to learn the language, you're just assuming immigrants are lazy people who are making no effort to learn the language. 

I'm the child of immigrants.  Sure they're from an English speaking country, but it saddens me to think that you wouldn't have spoken to my parents if the were from somewhere else and weren't fluent.

And like PP said, given your screen name, I'm going to assume your ancestors weren't British and in fact, did not know English when they came to America.

Rosie109

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9079978c-a97a-4b70-8eea-06b273ff4ad2Post:862adaa8-e11f-479d-baa2-40f1bad69c57">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : Of course, just because I can't understand them doesn't make them a horrible person and should still get the help they need. But I don't want to be the person to help them. If that makes me ignorant and stupid and whatever else people said than so be it, that's why it's called an unpopular opinion.
Posted by mgietler76[/QUOTE]

<div>Seriously though what about accents?</div>

Celles

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9079978c-a97a-4b70-8eea-06b273ff4ad2Post:9f86ba34-db49-4c66-ab32-3c1c30691b97">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : Where do you live? Because frankly, i'd have trouble ordering food or shopping, period, if I had that kind of attitude.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

I couldn't talk to my <em>mom</em> if I had that kind of attitude.

louisvillebride21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9079978c-a97a-4b70-8eea-06b273ff4ad2Post:5000af28-59df-4e9d-b43e-03d61d70a735">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : I agree - if you don't tip, don't eat out. I try to tip 20%, give or take. I think I ave an unpopular opinion about this as well - if the service isn't good, I'm not going to be a passive-agressive a-hole and leave them a 5% tip or a quarter. I'll talk to the server and then talk to the manager. I'm not going to eff with someone's rent payment just because I can. If the service is just a slow/backed up kitchen, that's not the server's fault anyway. If the service isn't bad enough to talk to the manager, well, then it's not bad enough to not leave a tip.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

I don't know. I obviously agree with things that aren't there fault. That I would talk to a manager about. But I just can't get behind them 'deserving' something just for showing up to work that day. If they never come back to check on my drink and are generally...flippant, I'm not going to talk to the manager. I'm going to dock their tip. They made the decision to act that way, so I get to decide how much I tip, if at all. And I emphasise that it needs to be a case by case basis. The place is slammed, I don't expect the best and quickest service. But if it's dead and she/he can't give me the time of day, yeah he earned his docked tip.

emilyinchile

Kjhowd, I'm curious: do you know that other countries also have "for [country language] press 1?" If I call companies that have clients from different backgrounds (like the Chilean airline, for example), I am often given the option to speak to someone in English.

I understand the opinion that since people who live in the US should learn English, we shouldn't need to press something for English, but I also think that it's perfectly realistic for businesses to want to serve their customers as well as possible and to realize that some of their customers - even if they are learning or speak decent English - are more comfortable doing business in another language.

Wrkn925

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9079978c-a97a-4b70-8eea-06b273ff4ad2Post:ed2202a0-8ce3-4aec-b194-0b7a241f3857">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]Unpopular opinion: I love jeggings. 
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

I love my jeans that said 'jeggings'.  They're really more like stretchy skinny jeans, though. 
I wear them all weekend, they are amazing.

FutureMrsFezz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9079978c-a97a-4b70-8eea-06b273ff4ad2Post:be0c76b3-1d25-44e6-bbdc-a066388cecb6">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : I really like you Fezz - probably not a UO, but you live in S. Florida, right? I know that your opinion on that breed in particular in that area is rare. So kudos to you for having an open mind! Seriously.
Posted by vallyhoo[/QUOTE]

Why thanks, Vally.  Yep I'm down here.  I love my dog and have multiple friends with pitbulls that are amazing dogs.  It sucks that there are people out there that are ruining the breed (by breeding vicious/"fighting" dogs).  Truly sad for, what can be, an amazing breed.
Edited for stupidness.  I need to go back to bed.

Ghoti

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9079978c-a97a-4b70-8eea-06b273ff4ad2Post:565c92cc-bdd5-455d-90e0-286937a403a5">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : <strong>But in most cases, servers get ridiculously low, no way to live on it, paychecks.</strong> I'm not saying anybody is entitled to a tip and I agree that it's something that has to be earned. I don't know. I guess I just have an extra bit of compassion for people in the service industry because I've been there. And sometimes, even when you do your best, the kitchen fuucks you. I lost MANY tips because the kitchen people couldn't get their shiit together and that sucks. When something goes wrong, I think a patron needs to understand who's fault it is. It's not always the servers' fault.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]
See this isn't legally true. The resturaunt HAS to pay you minimum wage, so if you get paid 2.30 and hour, and don't make up the remaining 4 or 5 bucks an hour in tips, then the resturaunt is legally required to pay the remaining.  Here in CA, waiters get min wage, $8 an hour or something like that, then tips on top. I rarely tip 20%, only if they are REALLY good.

tortis

I simply mean that if you choose to live in a country than you should learn the language of said county. I would never move somewhere else and expect them to understand English simply because it's what I speak.

By your own logic, we should all be ignoring you. I believe the word you were looking for is "then"?

Y I Oughta

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9079978c-a97a-4b70-8eea-06b273ff4ad2Post:f5fdcec5-da34-4264-a8f3-af0571b70b22">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]I simply mean that if you choose to live in a country than you should learn the language of said county. I would never move somewhere else and expect them to understand English simply because it's what I speak.
Posted by mgietler76[/QUOTE]

My FI is Korean. His family has been here since 1979. His mother speaks English with a thick accent. It's not always whether or not they speak the language, it may be that they have a thick accent that will NEVER go away. She can understand everything you say to her, but I don't always understand her due to the accent. This doesn't mean she doesn't speak English, it means she has an accent I can't understand. There are too many people that confuse speaking with a thick accent for not being able to speak English at all.

So basically what you are saying is that nobody should ever come to this country because you won't be able to understand them with the accent they have.

mandysmear

i can't remember the last time i went to a canadian doctor.  and by canadian i mean, born in canada. 

mgietler76

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9079978c-a97a-4b70-8eea-06b273ff4ad2Post:c85dabad-8d68-425f-8c5c-daa91144e9c7">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : If you actually spoke to people who don't have a firm grasp on English, you might become a person who understands them. I mean really. I'd venture to say that none of your coworkers are any better at deciphering broken English than you are. They just nut up and deal with it.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

I have no want to decipher broken English, if that makes me an awful person than so be it. And this certainly doesn't apply to people in need. For example an injured person looking for help, someone needing directions, and so forth. But if someone calls to make an appointment for something and I cannot understand them I will transfer the call to someone else.

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9079978c-a97a-4b70-8eea-06b273ff4ad2Post:7b6a0c09-47c0-45b9-9bf9-c4abc3da783d">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]I simply mean that if you choose to live in a country than you should learn the language of said county. I would never move somewhere else and expect them to understand English simply because it's what I speak. By your own logic, we should all be ignoring you. I believe the word you were looking for is "then"?
Posted by tortis[/QUOTE]

LOVE.

vallyhoo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9079978c-a97a-4b70-8eea-06b273ff4ad2Post:8c0e334e-1748-42f0-8265-0d58521c716a">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : Why thanks, Vally.  Yep I'm down here.  I love my dog and have multiple friends with pitbulls that are amazing dogs.  It sucks that there are people out there that are ruining the breed (by breeding vicious/"fighting" dogs).  Truly sad for, what can be, an amazing breed. Edited for stupidness.  I need to go back to bed.
Posted by FutureMrsFezz[/QUOTE]

I'm eye to eye with you on that. I need to go back to bed too :)

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9079978c-a97a-4b70-8eea-06b273ff4ad2Post:671ba8a1-b87b-458a-a440-cc3203befff8">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : This is absolutely the point I was trying to make. And I absolutely agree with PPs that Americans are a$$holes about speaking English in other countries. Way back when this country was first starting out - people came here to be Americans and look for a different/better life for their families.  <strong>They wanted to be Americans - they learned the language and took pride in their adopted country.  It didn't mean they gave up their heritage - they just embraced the new one too.</strong> Today the USA has become so PC we have become the doormat of the world.  No other country in the world hs a problem making a national language - but God forbid our lawmakers should make English the official language of this country for fear of offending anyone. (yes unpopular opinion, I know). OWN - yes I agree that there are some opinions that people can hold (like that of pedophiles) that make me dislike them; however, I think generally differing opinions just makes for good discussions.  My BIL has very different political opinions than I do - doesn't make me like him any less.
Posted by kjhowd[/QUOTE]

This is bullshit. There are communities in the northern US and midwest where people spoke German and Scandanavian for GENERATIONS after moving to the US. Living in a major city would obviously expose you to more languages, especially English. Small farming communities made up of other immigrants from your home country? Not so much exposure, there.

Let's not live in a happy little bubble where 150 years ago every single little old Italian lady who came to the US learned perfect English within 6 months.

FutureMrsTR

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9079978c-a97a-4b70-8eea-06b273ff4ad2Post:49de6f28-3aaa-4f56-a69b-cffe5a30dc3e">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : I'm not talking about criminals on the streets, I'm saying that there are many families and GOOD people who are living on or close to on the streets right now, and criminals have a better lifestyle than they do. There's something backasswords with that.
Posted by Ghoti[/QUOTE]

This is so ridiculous I don't know where to start.  Whatever they do or do not have access to in prison doesn't change the fact that they are in PRISON.  They have no freedoms and no privacy.  It's not a cakewalk just because they maybe get to watch Oprah on Tuesdays.

stillundecided4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9079978c-a97a-4b70-8eea-06b273ff4ad2Post:6ba519c5-a4cb-437e-9701-883fb785a92b">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]I love pitbulls.  I would never say that my dog would never hurt anyone, because really, it's an animal how do I know what he's thinking.  But I do believe it's in the raising.  Most of them are misguided and it makes me sad.  How can you resist this face? Edited for spelling and not fully finishing sentences. Gah
Posted by FutureMrsFezz[/QUOTE]

I didn't read the replys so I'm not sure if someone responded. I agree, to a point, it's in the raising. But I think some pit bulls are just naturally mean. My friend raised one "properly" but he still attacked several people before he had to be put down. All the attacks were unprovoked too. So, it's not all about how they're raised.

P.S. It is hard to resist any dog's face.

Rosie109

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9079978c-a97a-4b70-8eea-06b273ff4ad2Post:ee3f51bf-cf39-4f65-8dec-113784326876">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : I have no want to decipher broken English,<strong> if that makes me an awful person than so be it</strong>. And this certainly doesn't apply to people in need. For example an injured person looking for help, someone needing directions, and so forth. But if someone calls to make an appointment for something and I cannot understand them I will transfer the call to someone else.
Posted by mgietler76[/QUOTE]

<div>As long as you know that.. good. </div>

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9079978c-a97a-4b70-8eea-06b273ff4ad2Post:5000af28-59df-4e9d-b43e-03d61d70a735">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : I agree - if you don't tip, don't eat out. Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

I completely agree with this.  I hate when people say "thats too much to leave for a tip," or "I can't spend that much."  When you contemplate going out to eat, you need to factor in a tip to the estimated cost.  If you can't afford it, don't go out to eat.  Get takeout, cook at home.  But if you can't afford to tip you are screwing that server out of money that he could otherwise be making from another table. 

For those who said servers get a paycheck too, many times they don't.  I can't speak for myself because I worked as a server off the books so I got paid very well.  But most servers make about $2 an hour because tips are considered their wages, and then they have to claim their tips too.  I know many servers who have worked 30 hours or so in a week and gotten a paycheck for $10 after taxes.  So yes, tips are definitely how they make their lving.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9079978c-a97a-4b70-8eea-06b273ff4ad2Post:49de6f28-3aaa-4f56-a69b-cffe5a30dc3e">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : I'm not talking about criminals on the streets, I'm saying that there are many families and GOOD people who are living on or close to on the streets right now, and criminals have a better lifestyle than they do. There's something backasswords with that.
Posted by Ghoti[/QUOTE]

Except the whole "not having their freedom" thing. Freedom is powerful. Ask anyone who's been enslaved.

hadiyahben

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9079978c-a97a-4b70-8eea-06b273ff4ad2Post:81e2c0ed-3af4-45ec-b43a-071659b4e5a3">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : Oh come on now. Way to read only half of what I said. I said if someone's life outlook completely differed from mine, then that would cause me to dislike them.
Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

You hadn't made that distinction yet in the post I quoted, you said that after.  So I was going by what you said at the time.

Regardless, the point I was making is that yes I can see disliking someone based on their opinion. Even if the "life outlook" was the same.  Would depend on the opinion.

kikibaby

mgietler- 2 questions:

1) What is your heritage?  How many generations has your family been in the US?

2) Have you ever travelled outside of the US?

These are honest questions, not shitstirring.

mgietler76

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9079978c-a97a-4b70-8eea-06b273ff4ad2Post:2bc000b5-a70b-4697-98fd-f09e2fb10998">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : Sending a spanish speaking person to the spanish speaking rep on the phone is one thing.  Walking away from them in person, or transferring someone because of their accent is just rude. 
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

I obviously didn't mean just an accent, if I cannot understand them than yes I will explain so and either transfer the call or walk away. What good am I if I can't understand them?

FutureMrsTR

AND like Zippity (I think) pointed out, jail is not all about punishing prisoners, it's about keeping them separate from the general public so they can't commit more crimes.

cengle

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9079978c-a97a-4b70-8eea-06b273ff4ad2Post:9fc47deb-2c2c-4946-b4dc-bb65b40334e3">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]Kjhowd, I'm curious: do you know that other countries also have "for [country language] press 1?" If I call companies that have clients from different backgrounds (like the Chilean airline, for example), I am often given the option to speak to someone in English. I understand the opinion that since people who live in the US should learn English, we shouldn't need to press something for English,<strong> but I also think that it's perfectly realistic for businesses to want to serve their customers as well as possible and to realize that some of their customers - even if they are learning or speak decent English - are more comfortable doing business in another language.</strong>
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]


This is a really good point.  It's good business to have a diverse workforce, so you can communicate with lots of different customers.  By ignoring someone that mostly speaks Spanish, for example, you could be giving up a lot of business, especially if you live in certain areas.

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9079978c-a97a-4b70-8eea-06b273ff4ad2Post:dab6eb71-1dcf-4120-a3e2-f55cb78faa0c">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : This is bullshit. There are communities in the northern US and midwest where people spoke <strong>German and Scandanavian for GENERATIONS after moving to the US</strong>. Living in a major city would obviously expose you to more languages, especially English. Small farming communities made up of other immigrants from your home country? Not so much exposure, there. Let's not live in a happy little bubble where 150 years ago every single little old Italian lady who came to the US learned perfect English within 6 months.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]
There are still entire communities in South LA (they're becoming more and more rare, but they still exist) where only Cajun (Acadian) French is spoken. My aunt's grandparents didn't speak a lick of English and lived in the US their entire lives.

MattsPenguin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9079978c-a97a-4b70-8eea-06b273ff4ad2Post:abb579c6-f7c3-4202-b7da-c6a50be56af7">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]I hate peanut butter.
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

Well, now that is a differing opinion that might cause me to dislike you!

<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" />

Ghoti

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9079978c-a97a-4b70-8eea-06b273ff4ad2Post:0b4781b4-0df7-45de-a95d-67f1423cadd9">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : This is so ridiculous I don't know where to start.  Whatever they do or do not have access to in prison doesn't change the fact that they are in PRISON.  They have no freedoms and no privacy.  It's not a cakewalk just because they maybe get to watch Oprah on Tuesdays.
Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

They have a lot more freedoms than most people know. Not being able to shiit in private (which neither can your Military while in boot camp) isn't that big of a deal.