Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:6cb1639a-4e1b-4a4d-8753-0931e1d6c092">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]Well first of all, traditionally, the bride and groom didn't host their own wedding reception. That said, even when the bride and groom are hosting themselves, I still think the wedding reception is different from an e-party because it's essentially a thank-you to guests for attending the ceremony. Thanking people is pretty much the opposite of rude. ETA: <strong>And yes, people also throw parties for themselves "all the time."  People also punch other people in the face on a fairly frequent basis, and cut each other off in traffic, and curse each other out in public.  Just because you see something happen frequently doesn't mean it's a polite way to behave.
</strong>Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

Dinner parties and housewarmings must be rude too. Good to know.

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:b3f89ec4-fbaf-4cb7-bed9-e934c1b83938">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : ....so your plan here is to ask us questions and then tell us why you don't like our answers?  How does that work out for you in real life?
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

I didn't ask about the reception. I think it's a party for the bride and groom. You guys don't. Cool. I don't care if you think that way or not, I'm not sure why you guys care how I think of it.

StephBeanWed61502

A DINNER PARTY IS NOT A CELEBRATION OF YOU.  A HOUSEWARMING IS NOT A CELEBRATION OF YOU.  THESE THINGS ARE DIFFERENT FROM AN ENGAGEMENT PARTY BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT ALL ABOUT YOU.

myname1234

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:b2b74473-d051-4322-9b90-578eda2c65ff">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : I am serious... A <strong>reception is just a much a party for the newly married couple as anything else</strong>. I mean... really? Everything about it is about the bride and groom.
Posted by thurmanpowell[/QUOTE]

Yes, the reception is about the B/G.  <em>But the point is the B/G aren't throwing it themselves</em>.

Think about your traditional invitation

<strong>Mr and Mrs (bride's mom) invite you</strong> to the wedding of...

Mom and Dad are throwing the party. 


hope that helps.

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:ca79518f-7e6d-4e45-a6cb-aed0f510fab9">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : Oh, good god. Just do what you want to do. Nobody will die and the world will still keep turning.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

Already stated that I would rename it and do it myself. If this is how you feel... why would you bother replying?

specialk84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:7819c55e-b5e5-4324-ba5e-08d9258c9409">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : I think I remember getting one right after we got engaged. I think they send them every 100 days and then every month. <strong>I'll be sure to put pictures up on my FB. :)</strong>
Posted by MeganLindsay5685[/QUOTE]

<div>I'll keep an eye out and will be sure to fawn over them. Mr. R. is your photographer, right?</div>

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:f5b52ef0-65a7-4abd-b4db-b5c424961532">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : Yes, the reception is about the B/G.  But the point is the B/G aren't throwing it themselves . Think about your traditional invitation Mr and Mrs (bride's mom) invite you to the wedding of... Mom and Dad are throwing the party.  hope that helps.
Posted by myname1234[/QUOTE]

I wish my parents were throwing the party...

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:73758dd3-1f39-46bc-bdd1-4fcbb320876c">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : An engagement party isn't a celebration of YOU either. It's YOUR engagement, like it's YOUR dinner, and YOUR house. If you guys think it's rude, it's fine, but come on now, those are parties one throws themselves for themselves just as much as any wedding party.
Posted by thurmanpowell[/QUOTE]

Okay are you seriously trying to tell me that the <em>sole purpose</em> of a dinner party is to celebrate dinner?  If so, I have apparently been doing those wrong for years.

crash2729

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:b1f36974-3c3d-4783-a1bf-37714f2e6955">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : LOL, So, you don't know? If there's a legit reason why it's rude, I'd love to know and I would reconsider. However, if you think me footing the bill inplace of making my wedding party pay for something is "tacky" then I will have to take your advice with a grain of salt. Fact is, not all of my bridal party is rolling in dough as yours must be, and I have a rather large family. It would be exspensive, and I don't think people should go in debt for MY wedding. That said, I can afford to throw something small, and my family loves opportunities to get together, so again... WHY is it rude? Like to know so I can weigh my options.
Posted by thurmanpowell[/QUOTE]
It's rude to throw your own parties because they are seen as gift-giving events PLUS it's common etiquette that you don't host a party where you are the guest of honor. <div>
A little too AW-ish,</div>

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:6f95d983-ea8e-433c-b015-f494a8b69eed">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : Okay are you seriously trying to tell me that the sole purpose of a dinner party is to celebrate dinner?  If so, I have apparently been doing those wrong for years.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

Celebrating dinner? No. Show off YOUR cooking, YOUR house, and YOUR lifestyle? Yep.

specialk84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:514a54c7-592c-4f09-9cd7-84a5928fd1c2">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : Celebrating dinner? No. Show off YOUR cooking, YOUR house, and YOUR lifestyle? Yep.
Posted by thurmanpowell[/QUOTE]

<div>That's not how I do dinner parties.</div><div>
</div><div>FTR, I am not a fan of housewarming parties. I think they're too AWish.</div>

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:8be3e7e8-5874-4d7a-a2d0-84c70fcedddb">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : That's not how I do dinner parties. FTR, I am not a fan of housewarming parties. I think they're too AWish.
Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]

I have no idea what AW means, but yeah, I'm not a fan of housewarming parties either. I think it's the gift part. I wouldn't feel comfortable getting a gift just cause I moved (actually, I'd rather just get moving help!). My family usually just hosts a holiday dinner when they buy a house.  

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:2d41e754-e372-4d34-a6c0-ad81ebdeaab8">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]If you can't understand the difference between a dinner party and a wedding reception, then well..I don't even know. Good luck with that!
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

Clearly not what I said, but thanks!

crash2729

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:8be3e7e8-5874-4d7a-a2d0-84c70fcedddb">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : That's not how I do dinner parties. FTR, I am not a fan of housewarming parties.<strong> I think they're too AWish.</strong>
Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]
Yep. <div>
</div><div>We bought a house and we didn't have one. The world still turns.  :)</div><div>
</div><div>OP-You're ridiculous. FFS.</div>

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:05f029e4-b326-4042-9b47-712c2722a064">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : Yep.  We bought a house and we didn't have one. The world still turns.  :) <strong>OP-You're ridiculous. FFS</strong>.
Posted by crash2729[/QUOTE]

I might be! Makes me wonder why you took the time to reply to me!

specialk84

AW= attention whore

The term is both good and bad. Regs come here and AW their wedding photos, news of a new job, etc. That's good. It's bad when someone on FB has an entire album with 150 pics of her ring, when someone rubs everyone's noses in something to brag about it, or when you host your own shower or engagement party.

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:4a3f5db1-1135-446f-9cb9-187b4765c30e">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]AW= attention whore The term is both good and bad. Regs come here and AW their wedding photos, news of a new job, etc. That's good. It's bad when someone on FB has an entire album with 150 pics of her ring, when someone rubs everyone's noses in something to brag about it, or when you host your own shower or engagement party.
Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]

Ha. That's not how you lead by example!

specialk84

FTR, no one in my BP was rolling in dough, either. My MOH had been out of work for two years, recovering from a serious injury. My other BM had a baby and lost her mother within a few months of each other, and the other BM was twelve.

H's cousin hosted my shower at her house. There were fourteen invited guests, and she held it on a Saturday afternoon. She and my mom made a bunch of finger foods and desserts. She did not go into debt for it

aragx6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:514a54c7-592c-4f09-9cd7-84a5928fd1c2">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : Celebrating dinner? No. Show off YOUR cooking, YOUR house, and YOUR lifestyle? Yep.
Posted by thurmanpowell[/QUOTE]

Admitting you use dinner parties to <em>show</em> yourself and your life off is pretty crass. It should be about entertaining dear friends in your home, not bragging about your Kate Spade plates.

specialk84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:02681c39-4005-4b64-a234-856bc7f7be33">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : Ha. That's not how you lead by example!
Posted by thurmanpowell[/QUOTE]

<div>Whatever. I'm trying to keep you from embarrassing yourself. You wanted to know what the term meant, so I told you and gave you some examples.</div><div>
</div><div>I did not call you a whore.</div>

specialk84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:eb1fc8ed-ef0b-44d4-8722-ec654d6cfacb">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : Admitting you use dinner parties to show yourself and your life off is pretty crass. It should be about entertaining dear friends in your home, not bragging about your <strong>Kate Spade plates</strong>.
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]

<div>Her plates are effing gorgeous. If I wasn't so freaking clumsy, I would have acquired some. I'm a huge KS fan. HUGE.</div>

crash2729

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:4ef759e2-c7eb-4587-975b-461e2fadfa6f">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : Whatever. I'm trying to keep you from embarrassing yourself. You wanted to know what the term meant, so I told you and gave you some examples. <strong>I did not call you a whore</strong>.
Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]
You know that's what you meant to say Special.

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:eb1fc8ed-ef0b-44d4-8722-ec654d6cfacb">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : Admitting you use dinner parties to show yourself and your life off is pretty crass. It should be about entertaining dear friends in your home, not bragging about your Kate Spade plates.
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]

Didn't say anything about me throwing dinner parties, but enjoy the smug!

Explain how an engagement party would NOT be about enjoying your family on that same level?

specialk84

For once, it wasn't, Crash. I am legitimately trying to help this person, though I have no idea why.

My MIL, though? Yeah. 

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:4ef759e2-c7eb-4587-975b-461e2fadfa6f">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : Whatever. I'm trying to keep you from embarrassing yourself. You wanted to know what the term meant, so I told you and gave you some examples. <strong>I did not call you a whore</strong>.
Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]

.... I didn't say you did. Interesting.

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:1e230e8a-473d-4a12-8302-f89ae1396080">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]FTR, no one in my BP was rolling in dough, either. My MOH had been out of work for two years, recovering from a serious injury. My other BM had a baby and lost her mother within a few months of each other, and the other BM was twelve. H's cousin hosted my shower at her house. There were fourteen invited guests, and she held it on a Saturday afternoon. She and my mom made a bunch of finger foods and desserts. She did not go into debt for it
Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]

I don't feel this way about the shower, because it won't be an issue for my cousin/mom who are throwing it.

crash2729

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:9aaefa98-343a-4f3e-b1d8-83972b21e598">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]For once, it wasn't, Crash. I am legitimately trying to help this person, though I have no idea why. <strong>My MIL, though? Yeah. </strong>
Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]
This made me Lol. 

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:87dad129-64dd-4993-b205-2df69c75f6de">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : You are a pill.  If you have an engagement party, it's to celebrate the couple and their good news.  If you have a dinner party, it's because you want to host your friends, spend time, etc.  You are not asking them to come celebrate your cooking.  Have a party.  Have a big party.  Just don't tie it in to your engagement.  JFC.
Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

Repeating what I stated an hour ago is sound advice! thanks!

specialk84

Eagles, I'm not usually a fan of designer bags and such, but I love everything she makes. In particular, I would like this to magically appear at my door.

The other day, I told H I wanted a Birkin bag, a red one. He said sure, once I start my new job, we should be able to swing a couple hundred for the bag. I started laughing, then told him they start around $8K. He agreed to buy me one once he buys his plane. I don't think I'm ever going to get it.

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:db118ba2-8893-4332-83f8-a241a607aff6">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : Michael Kors is doing a bag similar to a Birkin.  The Hamilton, I think.  Mel and I saw it a few months back in Macy's.  <strong>OP, you're insufferable.
</strong>Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

Yet you keep suffering? There's an ignore link on the bottom of this post. I don't think I'd miss anything by loosing our on your advice, thanks.