Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????

DreamCLG7

if someone offered to trow me fundraiser for my wedding, ou better believe i'd be all over that.

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:5885c7c4-b560-40cc-96b3-991d93ca3799">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : Oh, good grief. If you are worried about staying away from me of all people, you may not enjoy posting on E. FFS.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]


I wouldn't say "worried." IDGAF. However, some people on here seem to want to concern themselves with it, so there you guys go: If rachers1017 or others post snippy comments, exspect me to post them right back!

sparent2010

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=stag+and+doe

Apparently using search engines is not a strong suit of your's.

ETC: It would help if I spelled stag correctly, however it will still get you the information you are looking for. YWIA, FFS.

pokepoke27

Looks like I missed a good party.

OP - Stag and Does are gross. 

Rachers is very important to this board. In fact, I think it would literally implode without her - so yeah.

FFS = For Fuucks Sake

Steph is not butthurt.

If you don't like their posting styles you can FO to another website that will tell you how wonderful you are. You came here asking for advice. They're regulars. They're going to post on your thread.

specialk84

OP, you sound like like an asshat.

Ranchy is one of the nicest people in the history of ever.

mica178

Geez Louise.

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:569ae1a2-adbb-4793-9626-2339aeac33ba">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]Looks like I missed a good party. OP - Stag and Does are gross.  Rachers is very important to this board. In fact, I think it would literally implode without her - so yeah. FFS = For Fuucks Sake Steph is not butthurt. If you don't like their posting styles you can FO to another website that will tell you how wonderful you are. You came here asking for advice. They're regulars. They're going to post on your thread.
Posted by pokepoke27[/QUOTE]

Since you'd like to be a part of this:

1. Thanks for actually answering part of my question
2. If an already married woman's big achievement is posting on TK (SO IT DOESN"T IMPLODE OMG), then... I guess I see why we don't see eye to eye.
3. I don't think anyone is butthurt, take that up with Steph
4. I *DID NOT* ask for advice, I asked for an explanation. They also DID NOT advise me. You probably feel smart for this, "FO to another website that will tell you how wonderful you are." Irrelevant, but cute.
5. As stated earlier, they're as welcome to post as I am to respond, in any fashion that any of us want.

I've got about 30 mins till I'm off work. Keep it up.

specialk84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:776d2170-2ecd-4b66-9481-3d7a379920b3">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : AHEM.
Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

<div>So are you. The two of you will make freakish-looking, though very nice, children together.</div>

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:92a97005-c4cf-4e1c-a810-90dcf6dd3550">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]OP, you sound like like an asshat. Ranchy is one of the nicest people in the history of ever.
Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]

Thanks! I must fit right in here!

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:613d13de-01db-438a-b57c-9ccb542564f1">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]OP, what do you have going on after work?  Spin class?  Are you making a pot roast for dinner?
Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

Class. Where, I learned all those big thesaurus-type words.

mica178

7pm spin class. Summer part deux.

pokepoke27

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:2019914c-918d-45bc-ae7a-a0641b8de68a">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : Since you'd like to be a part of this: 1. Thanks for actually answering part of my question 2. If an already married woman's big achievement is posting on TK (SO IT DOESN"T IMPLODE OMG), then... I guess I see why we don't see eye to eye. 3. I don't think anyone is butthurt, take that up with Steph 4. I *DID NOT* ask for advice, I asked for an explanation. They also DID NOT advise me. You probably feel smart for this, "FO to another website that will tell you how wonderful you are." Irrelevant, but cute. 5. As stated earlier, they're as welcome to post as I am to respond, in any fashion that any of us want. I've got about 30 mins till I'm off work. Keep it up.
Posted by thurmanpowell[/QUOTE]

<div>Teehee - you're funny : 3</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

specialk84

OP, i was totally on your side until you started to flip out on people. You asked some questions, and though your reasons for wanting something you were unfamiliar with were kind of odd to me, it wasn't the weirdest thing I've ever read.

You were unclear in your follow-up posts, leading plenty of people to believe you wanted to have a wedding fundraiser, which is one of the stupidest/rudest ideas ever. Add that to TK's often delayed posting, combined with multiple people answering within a minute or so of each other, and you might see why it looked like everyone was ganging up on you. 

Yeah, some people here didn't respond in the nicest possible way, but you don't lead by example, either. 

pokepoke27

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:9f61f482-fd7c-4deb-82b6-63d714effc7a">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : Don't get husky with me.  I graduated summa cum laude with an English degree, so I have a pretty awesome vocabulary. 
Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

<div>My sig gets husky with you!!! *sigh* I know, I'm bad.</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

specialk84

Megan, are you getting excited?

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:73b55c5d-a295-4198-af61-5b4ccb76ae13">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]OP, i was totally on your side until you started to flip out on people. You asked some questions, and though your reasons for wanting something you were unfamiliar with were kind of odd to me, it wasn't the weirdest thing I've ever read. You were unclear in your follow-up posts, leading plenty of people to believe you wanted to have a wedding fundraiser, which is one of the stupidest/rudest ideas ever. Add that to TK's often delayed posting, combined with multiple people answering within a minute or so of each other, and you might see why it looked like everyone was ganging up on you.  Yeah, some people here didn't respond in the nicest possible way, but you don't lead by example, either. 
Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]

All fair criticisims. Let me make it clear here: i DO NOT want a fundraiser, I want a family/friends get together. I don't even want gifts, I just didn't want to seem rude for not acknowledging them if I'm supposed to.

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:9f61f482-fd7c-4deb-82b6-63d714effc7a">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : Don't get husky with me.  I graduated summa cum laude with an English degree, so I have a pretty awesome vocabulary. 
Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

The thesaurus part wasn't directed at you. I'm in awe that someone(else) would suggest that one would need to look up (in a thesaurus, of all places) the words uncouth, unnecessary, and/or unhelpful.

specialk84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:c4481421-fc73-4019-915f-b280ed19967f">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : All fair criticisims. Let me make it clear here: i DO NOT want a fundraiser, I want a family/friends get together. I don't even want gifts, I just didn't want to seem rude for not acknowledging them if I'm supposed to.
Posted by thurmanpowell[/QUOTE]

<div>Most engagement parties I've been to did not involve gifts. For those that did, the bride or groom thanked the guest, then either set it aside where it wasn't on display or discretely opened it to ooh and ahh over it in front of the giver, then set it aside.</div><div>
</div><div>If engagement parties are not usually done in your circle, you probably aren't going to get one. You can't throw yourself an e-party or shower, and you can't ask someone else to do it for you. </div><div>
</div><div>If you want your families to meet, have a party. Meet. MIL met my parents over brunch. My mom met most of H's relatives at random get togethers throughout our entire relationship.  H met my extended family on a visit to see my grandmother. It doesn't have to be a big deal, and it doesn't have to be so focused on the wedding. Have a Memorial Day party or something.</div>

specialk84

TK sends out 400 day emails? Hmm. 

Well, I am super excited for you. I can't wait to see pictures!

pokepoke27

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:7819c55e-b5e5-4324-ba5e-08d9258c9409">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : I think I remember getting one right after we got engaged. I think they send them every 100 days and then every month. I'll be sure to put pictures up on my FB. :)
Posted by MeganLindsay5685[/QUOTE]

<div>I think I started getting monthly emails at 6 months. I'm actually kind of looking forward to my 1 month email tomorrow : )</div>

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:f5322fc0-ded0-4b05-b9f4-ac9d38e3a01c">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : Most engagement parties I've been to did not involve gifts. For those that did, the bride or groom thanked the guest, then either set it aside where it wasn't on display or discretely opened it to ooh and ahh over it in front of the giver, then set it aside. If engagement parties are not usually done in your circle, you probably aren't going to get one. You can't throw yourself an e-party or shower, and you can't ask someone else to do it for you.  If you want your families to meet, have a party. Meet. MIL met my parents over brunch. My mom met most of H's relatives at random get togethers throughout our entire relationship.  H met my extended family on a visit to see my grandmother. It doesn't have to be a big deal, and it doesn't have to be so focused on the wedding. Have a Memorial Day party or something.
Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]

Can I ask why exactly it's rude to throw your own? Seems like if you aren't asking for anything then it shouldn't matter WHY you throw a party. I agree that it shouldn't be wedding focused, but want exactly is the issue with whats basically a "NEW FAMILY!" annoucement of sorts? I don't see the logic behind that.

Also, before anyone assumes, my BM is throwing me one. I kinda want to do it myself however, because I don't want her to foot the bill. It's also not uncommon in our social circle, people have been asking us if/when we will have one. They tend to be more along the lines of friends/cousins/young relatives going out, which is why I was confused between it and the stag and doe party.

StephBeanWed61502

It's rude because it's a party in your honor, and it's never okay to say "hey everyone, come celebrate ME!!!!" even if it's not a gift-giving occasion.

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:f0fe4b41-debf-4905-89fd-d12000f190a8">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : You clearly are going to do what you want, although you've been told repeatedly NOT to throw your own party, so go for it.  Be tacky, be gauche, be rude, whatever.  Justify your behavior.  But don't come here and waste our time when you're going to flip etiquette the bird and do it your way.
Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

LOL, So, you don't know? If there's a legit reason why it's rude, I'd love to know and I would reconsider. However, if you think me footing the bill inplace of making my wedding party pay for something is "tacky" then I will have to take your advice with a grain of salt.

Fact is, not all of my bridal party is rolling in dough as yours must be, and I have a rather large family. It would be exspensive, and I don't think people should go in debt for MY wedding. That said, I can afford to throw something small, and my family loves opportunities to get together, so again... WHY is it rude? Like to know so I can weigh my options.

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:0222c37a-b12f-4d2f-839f-9934c9696581">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]It's rude because it's a party in your honor, and it's never okay to say "hey everyone, come celebrate ME!!!!" even if it's not a gift-giving occasion.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

Ah, I see. Makes me wonder why wedding receptions aren't seen the same way, but that is a good point. Perhaps I will rename it, or just go out with friends.

myname1234

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:b1f36974-3c3d-4783-a1bf-37714f2e6955">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : LOL, So, you don't know? If there's a legit reason why it's rude, I'd love to know and I would reconsider. However, if you think me footing the bill inplace of making my wedding party pay for something is "tacky" then I will have to take your advice with a grain of salt. Fact is, not all of my bridal party is rolling in dough as yours must be, and I have a rather large family. It would be exspensive, and I don't think people should go in debt for MY wedding. <strong>That said, I can afford to throw something small, and my family loves opportunities to get together, so again... WHY is it rude? Like to know so I can weigh my options.</strong>
Posted by thurmanpowell[/QUOTE]

I think the point is if you want to throw a party, throw a party.   Hosting your very own WEDDING related party is where the rub comes in to play.    The difference is this:

"Hey, it's a nice day, let's get together for drinks" 
and
"hey, I'm engaged.  let's celebrate me, me me!"  
Is that make it a bit more clear?

myname1234

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:49abcc71-2f35-424a-bfc6-0d51255b0955">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : Ah, I see. Makes me wonder why <strong>wedding receptions aren't seen the same way</strong>, but that is a good point. Perhaps I will rename it, or just go out with friends.
Posted by thurmanpowell[/QUOTE]

are you serious???

I'll pretend you are, and I'll bite.  The reception is your thank you to them.  Not their big bow down to you.

The ceremony is yours....they get the reception.

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:30b6bd2e-26e8-4669-8045-c8c47bed0a88">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : BECAUSE YOU DON'T THROW YOUR OWN PARTIES.  Are you new?  What is wrong with you?  By the way, Captain Strapjob, my BP isn't rolling the dough, and I have a big ass family, and no one is going into debt.  Know why?  Because they host what they can afford.  Novel concept, I know.  Google Suze Orman.
Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

Dude... people totally throw their own parties in life (how old are you?). I'm asking why THIS SPECIFIC ONE is rude. Especially since, as i've stated multiple times, the goal is for OTHER PEOPLE TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER, it would not be a party for me. If you don't know, then you don't know.

In that case, the entire wedding would be rude, as it's a party for yourself!

StephBeanWed61502

Well first of all, traditionally, the bride and groom didn't host their own wedding reception.

That said, even when the bride and groom are hosting themselves, I still think the wedding reception is different from an e-party because it's essentially a thank-you to guests for attending the ceremony. Thanking people is pretty much the opposite of rude.

ETA: And yes, people also throw parties for themselves "all the time."  People also punch other people in the face on a fairly frequent basis, and cut each other off in traffic, and curse each other out in public.  Just because you see something happen frequently doesn't mean it's a polite way to behave.

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:f954a7ef-5e8f-4797-9d1c-0ccf2844e312">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : are you serious??? I'll pretend you are, and I'll bite.  The reception is your thank you to them.  Not their big bow down to you. The ceremony is yours....they get the reception.
Posted by myname1234[/QUOTE]

I am serious... A reception is just a much a party for the newly married couple as anything else. I mean... really? Everything about it is about the bride and groom.

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doeengagament-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:93847005-e2e9-457b-a952-4397c7b43eb4Post:b2b74473-d051-4322-9b90-578eda2c65ff">Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party?????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe/Engagament Party????? : I am serious... A reception is just a much a party for the newly married couple as anything else. I mean... really? Everything about it is about the bride and groom.
Posted by thurmanpowell[/QUOTE]

....so your plan here is to ask us questions and then tell us why you don't like our answers?  How does that work out for you in real life?