Grooms Ring

lovepink679

Who normally pays for the Grooms wedding band?

He wants me to buy him his wedding band although he knows I am the one who stays at home with the baby full time and he's the one that works. I have no income ... where does he expect me to get the $ for his ring? FYI- he's a groomzilla! TIA

mica178

The tradition is that the bride pays. 

If he wants you to buy the ring, you can find an inexpensive one on overstock.com .  If he's insisting on an expensive ring that you cannot afford, then he can buy his own ring.

BioGirl21

I bought my husband's wedding band, but I don't know if there is a traditional person who pays for it. It should be something you buy together, imo.

marissa_claire

If you have no income, then I'm assuming you guys already have a joint checking account and it would come from that anyways.  Yes, traditionally, you would pay but I don't see him wanting a string ring, so it will have to come out of mutual funds.

LDYGTR13

FI and I paid for it together. What's his is mine, what's mine is his. "Technically" we didn't do the traditional thing, but you stay home - I assume that means you use his money for the things you guys need, right? How does he expect you to pay for this ring? Monopoly money doesn't work, pal!! I think you should flat out tell him that you'll pay for it - out of ya'lls money since that's technically the only money you've got.

noodle_oo

We bought together.  We paid for everything together.  Although he bought my expensive e-ring alone (before we moved in together/started sharing finances).

I'm just curious:  if you stay at home and he works, you guys must share finances right?  Otherwise how does he expect you to buy his ring?  I feel an important discussion about money coming up.  Afterall, you shouldn't feel like you have no money of your own just because you aren't working outside the home.  When my mom stayed home with the kids, she got a paycheck from my dad to run the household and also give her some of her own money.

missy68

We bought/paid for all 3 rings together. We'd already established a joint account, etc.

lovepink679

We don't have a joint checking account.
It would be much easier for me to come up with the money, but he wants a ring full of diamonds..

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grooms-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9c5a6884-39f9-460d-b431-f8c6eead4653Post:6220b6cf-7ee2-48ad-b893-98bdd0382a41">Re: Grooms Ring</a>:
[QUOTE]We don't have a joint checking account. It would be much easier for me to come up with the money, but he wants a ring full of diamonds..
Posted by lovepink679[/QUOTE]

I answered on the other thread that you deleted.  My answer was about getting him a tungsten ring that is much cheaper.  But now I see he wants a ring full of diamonds.

Honestly, your FI sounds like an ass right now.  If he knows you aren't working and is insisting on you paying for a diamond wedding band for him, then he needs to be willing to help.  Offer to buy him a tungsten ring for now and upgrade maybe on your 5 year anniversary or something.

sclams

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grooms-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9c5a6884-39f9-460d-b431-f8c6eead4653Post:6220b6cf-7ee2-48ad-b893-98bdd0382a41">Re: Grooms Ring</a>:
[QUOTE]We don't have a joint checking account. It would be much easier for me to come up with the money, but he wants a ring full of diamonds..
Posted by lovepink679[/QUOTE]
...wow, he sounds like a peach...
I would flat out ask him where he expects you to come up with that money, since you don't have an income.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Traditionally, I think it's the groom or the groom's family who pays for the wedding bands? The bride was never really expected to pay for anything, since originally a woman who was getting married wouldn't have really worked outside the home.

Fi paid for both of our wedding bands because we bought them at the same time. I've paid for a lot of other wedding-related things with money from my accounts, though, so it's kind of a wash in the end. If you have no separate income, though, then... well, you'll need to pay for everything out of whatever account you both use and he'll need to set the budget. So he must realize that.

LDYGTR13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grooms-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9c5a6884-39f9-460d-b431-f8c6eead4653Post:ab39ff67-b1ef-46ab-9c6b-452f1b8eba55">Re: Grooms Ring</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Grooms Ring : ...wow, he sounds like a peach... I would flat out ask him where he expects you to come up with that money, since you don't have an income.
Posted by sclams[/QUOTE]


So you stay at home with the baby and you dont have a joint checking account and he expects you to pay for things this baby needs AND get him a ring full of diamonds? (which IMHO are HIDEOUS)...tell him his expectations are a little high taking your situation into consideration.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

So how do you have access to money? Does he just throw you a $20 every few days?

(I'm being serious, because that's what my parents' lives were like when I was a kid and I swore that would never happen to me.)

You need to sit down and set a wedding budget, complete with a plan for how things will be paid. He can base it off savings and predicted future income from now until the wedding. It sounds like you also need to have a bigger talk about finances in general, though.

lovepink679

Thanks Ladies
Theres many reasons why we don't have a joint checking account yet, but we'll get there. He'll just have to pay for it out of his savings or when taxes come in.

kikibaby

lovepink679

We are not paying for our wedding. Both of our parents are paying 100% percent of it. He wanted to help them, but they said no. He bought my e-ring and wedding band though.

I think it is time for a serious talk..

vegasgroom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grooms-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9c5a6884-39f9-460d-b431-f8c6eead4653Post:d90fbf6e-9fa6-45fc-95b3-162e5041aa8d">Re: Grooms Ring</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks Ladies Theres many reasons why we don't have a joint checking account yet, but we'll get there. He'll just have to pay for it out of his savings<strong> or when taxes come in.</strong>
Posted by lovepink679[/QUOTE]

Huh?  Does his tax refund go to you as a bonus for not working or something?

lovepink679

No, I said HE will have to pay for his band. I guess some of it will go to me since I have Attorney fees to pay.

LuluP82

Traditionally, the groom pays for both rings and the marriage license.

ohwhynot

So . . . if you don't work, how would you come up with any money of your own?  I am asking because you said that if he didn't want a diamond studded ring, it would be much easier for you to come up with that money.  How?

Something doesn't smell right about this whole situation . . .

Belle2Be

Make him a ring from a twist-tie, then tell him if he wants something nicer he needs to be a SAHD or else give you his CC so you can get him a ring

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grooms-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9c5a6884-39f9-460d-b431-f8c6eead4653Post:4adb989d-4b88-4160-a08b-f96470839eb2">Re: Grooms Ring</a>:
[QUOTE]So . . . if you don't work, how would you come up with any money of your own?  I am asking because you said that if he didn't want a diamond studded ring, it would be much easier for you to come up with that money.  How?<strong>Something doesn't smell right about  this whole situation . . .</strong>
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

I was thinking the same thing. 

truegirl89

I am paying for my FI wedding band. It was something that I personally wanted to do.
 
As for tradition, I think that the woman is suppose to buy it. But honestly, I have heard of people doing it all diiferent kind of ways. I think that it is personally up to the couple.

In your situation, he is wanting you to buy. You are a stay at home mom, with no income. ( I know how that feels) I would sit down and have a talk with him. I would tell him that he said that he wanted you to buy the ring, and that you were wondering how you were suppose to do that. Maybe look into getting a part-time job, if that's what you want. That way you can still spend time with your child, and also have an income. I liked being a stay at home mom, except the money part. I hope this helped. Keep us updated. Good Luck!!

vegasgroom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grooms-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9c5a6884-39f9-460d-b431-f8c6eead4653Post:da5a80d0-b9a1-47d8-b853-5a2a4082d818">Re: Grooms Ring</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess some of it will go to me since I have Attorney fees to pay Someone hold me. I'm having reverse flashbacks to my life in 2000. Lovepink, it IS time for a LONG talk - before any more planning.
Posted by missy68[/QUOTE]

She's setting up a savings account for the divorce.

[Deleted User]

We paid for our bands together.

ARod22

Tell him that he's lucky enough to be getting you, and to stfu about the diamonds.  Also, say the baby--I'm assuming it's also his baby--comes first. 

Disclaimer: I wouldn't actually word it to him like that, because you will likely start a fight.  But I agree with PP's that you guys sound like you need to have a serious talk about finances, including how money is spent, who gets control of what, etc. BEFORE the wedding.

johnsonia

check bluenile.com and go for white gold vs platinum.

u pay. use the same money you use when u buy groceries... joint acct, weekly budget etc...