To go or not to go?
I'm a bit torn on whether or not to go to a friend's bridal shower.
Backstory: we've been friends for a few years and don't see each other that often. Then about a month ago she FB'ed me and asked for my address. Seeing that her wedding is at the end of June I figured that I was invited. About a week later I get an invitation for the Travel bridal shower (they registered for their honeymoon and the invite specifically requests travel gift cards).
I was just on FB today, and I see that people have been posting "wow your invites are awesome" for about two weeks (she's very crafty so she DIY'd them). I definitely haven't received an invite so I'm assuming FI and I are not invited.
I RSVP'd for the shower b/c I assumed I'd be invited to the wedding and because she's my friend. But now that it's pretty clear that I'm not invited to the wedding I kind of feel like I was only invited to the shower so they can get as much $$ for the honeymoon as they can.
I really do not want to be a PITA and ask her if we're invited but I'm not sure how I feel about going to the shower.
What would you do?
Re: To go or not to go?
Books read in 2012: 21/50
Planning Bio with For Sale
[QUOTE]I wouldn't go to a shower if I wasn't invited to the wedding. Is there any way your invitation could have been lost in the mail?
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]
It's always possible that the invitation got lost, but the shower invite got here ok, so it's hard to tell. I really don't want to put her on the spot and ask her.
Planning Bio with For Sale
IF you are not invited to the wedding call and tell her you can't come to the shower, sorry something came up. (Her rudeness, but I wouldn't tell her that.)
A travel shower. Ewwww. I might just not go because of that.
But I also wouldn't be inclined to attend a gift card shower in the first place.
[QUOTE]I think you should ask her. It's not "putting her on the spot"
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]
<strong><u>DITTO!!!</u></strong> Remember the old saying if you ASS-U-ME something. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" /> Think positive. Maybe it got lost in the mail. Be direct. Be brave.
Books read in 2012: 21/50
I got married in 2009. FML.
Married Bio
Glad you texted her. We just got our first returned invite. It was to my grandparents. I know everything is fine with the address because I gave the same address to another girl and their wedding invitation got to my grandparents just fine.
It also took 2 weeks for one of my in town guests to get theirs.
[QUOTE]Glad you texted her. We just got our first returned invite. It was to my grandparents. I know everything is fine with the address because I gave the same address to another girl and their wedding invitation got to my grandparents just fine. It also took 2 weeks for one of my in town guests to get theirs.
Posted by Habs2Hart[/QUOTE]
I had a coworker's invite come back. I sent them out 2 months in advance and it didn't come back until 1 week before the wedding. She knew that she was invited and I just gave her an RSVP card at work so that we could use it for the table assignments.
[QUOTE]Ditto the lost in the mail thing. When I mailed my thank you cards, we brought them to the post office in stacks, rubber banded. An entire stack of 35 cards went missing, from what I can tell. I'm only finding out NOW that people didn't get thank you cards. I got married in 2009. FML.
Posted by september's bride[/QUOTE]
oh my! that makes me feel a tad worried now that this one girl i've been holding a slight grudge against for never sending a thank you card sent one and it got lost :X then again, i went to her shower, bach, and wedding and got nothing so i doubt both cards got lost!
OP, please keep us posted I'd like to know what she says! I would of been afraid to ask as well but it is the best thing to do. I don't like the idea of that type of shower to begin with, but I certainly would not go if I wasn't invited to the wedding!
FWIW, I never got my mom's RSVP card, even though her husband mailed it AT the post office.
40/112
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
"Hey! Unfortuantely we ended up having to keep the list to family and WP dates only. FI's family is big enough that it took up 3/4 of the hall so a lot of friends got set aside ;( I'm really sorry.. if it wasn't so political in his family, I know a lot of them wouldn't have been invited."
So now what? If I back out now it's going to seem bitchy and I don't want to damage our friendship over it.
ETA: Because I cannot type well today.
My Chart
[QUOTE]Ok response is in: "Hey! Unfortuantely we ended up having to keep the list to family and WP dates only. FI's family is big enough that it took up 3/4 of the hall so a lot of friends got set aside ;( I'm really sorry.. if it wasn't so political in his family, I know a lot of them wouldn't have been invited." So now what? If I back out now it's going to seem bitchy and I don't want to damage our friendship over it. ETA: Because I cannot type well today.
Posted by achiduck[/QUOTE]
<div>Given this and the extreme tackiness of the honeymoon shower, I'd just say that something came up. No need to be rude about it or damage the friendship over it, just decline and wish her the best.</div>
Miss Mrs.
[QUOTE]Two solutions - the monkey on my shoulder wants to say something about bad etiquette....the high road is just coming up with a plausable excuse like you have to clean out your closet. Were the friends on FB commenting a part of her WP? Or others that didn't fall into what she told you were the invitees? Good luck!
Posted by thesequel[/QUOTE]
The FB friend that commented is not in the WP but could be a cousin or other family member?