FFF

laladypoet

andy, you're sounding like a douche.

georgia_bride09

I want to lose weight until someone starts preaching about it. Then I want to eat a Double Baconator in their face. Funny how that works.

Birdie1483

Awww ::hugs: Bay. My mom gets a pass because she's really overweight herself and told me long ago that she would tell me when she thought I was starting to gain weight because she didn't want me to end up like her. I think she forgot to have that convo with me a few years ago...

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:a7a567f7-1fdf-4242-a3e7-c4e83c929b7e">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]andy, I have to ask- do you assume that fat people WANT to change? Cause, I don't think they all do. I think it wouldn't be too hard to find someone, even "Biggest Loser Fat" who would tell you they've weighed their options (no pun intended) and have accepted their lives as they are. Also, I think it's a pretty slippery slope to say "This is where I draw the line on who I judge weight-wise".
Posted by mandapanda78[/QUOTE]

I realize this is totally flameworthy, but it's true: I don't understand how significantly overweight people can not want to lose weight. I'm not saying I think that everyone should want to be a twig, but I don't understand being totally happy to be morbidly obese.

That's partially because I know that society says skinny = pretty, so I feel like personally if I weighed twice what I currently do I wouldn't feel as pretty and would be unahppy and partially because the health complications (both stuff like joint pain/difficulty doing activities and longer term possible health concerns) would make me want to lose weight. I'm not saying it's wrong for someone to feel that way, it's just not something that I truly understand.

laurenclaire1386

Ditto Smokey re: affordability. Every time H and I get fast food, I think about the cost effectiveness of it. Eating well is something you have to have the finances to make happen. Sometimes the dollar menu at Micky d's isn't a "choice."

louisvillebride21

I don't know if there's A) anyone who's been around long enough and 2) remembers or was there this day:

But this reminds me of either LawyerJen or A_Schall saying that she hated fat people. That went over well.

andy71781

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:915941d0-aa4b-4149-9208-42d144fa39e6">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Some of those folks have depression and just don't care anymore.  They are self medicating and possibly eating themselves to death (knowingly).  I don't think that is a fair statement at all.
Posted by smokeybailey[/QUOTE]

Ok...if they weren't depressed (aka suffering from mental illness) they probably would care. 

You are entitled to your opinion about whether or not my opinion is valid.  It was in response to somebody's question.

annakb8

I'm generally a pretty healthy person, but I have unhealthy habits. Mainly drinking a shitton of Diet Coke and getting drunk about 3 times a week on average. And I'd be pissed if anyone tried to say anything to me about it. I think it's just easy to judge obese people's unhealthy choices because you can see that they are obese. Everyone has unhealthy habits though, some are just less obvious than others.

laladypoet

I hate when people say "overweight is not healthy and I just want people to be healthy!!" when really, they just hate fatties. come on, like you really give two shiits about the random stranger over there eating their feelings. you just don't like to look at them. admit it.

laladypoet

lvb, it was a_schaal. I remember cause I was bummed.

Birdie1483

I don't think all fat people don't want to lose weight. I think about it every day. I hate how I look and I don't feel attractive at all. But my not losing weight isn't because I don't WANT to, it's because other factors are outweighing that desire. Depression, emotional eating and drinking, bad habits all contribute to my current lack of losing weight.

baystateapple

Thanks, Birdie.  It's all good.  I just let it roll off at this point.  A few years ago she asked H if he really wanted to marry me since I was going to end up fat like her. 

H told her that I was marrying him even though he was going to be bald like his dad, so he thought that was fair.  I him big time.

louisvillebride21

Yeah, I'm curious how you would feel about people judging you for drinking so much. Cause I can promise you there are people that would.

emilyinchile

Oh, and FTR, I know/agree with smokey's point about poor people being more affected by obesity, but I really wasn't talking about that when I was judging parents of fat kids. In CA, my area is upper middle class, so the fat kids I see are pretty unlikely to come from families that can't afford quality food. Here in Chile, I know that putting Coke in your 2 year old's bottle is not any cheaper than filling it with water. So I should say more specifically that I judge parents who I know aren't making those decisions for purely financial reasons for either not educating themselves or just not caring about their kids' nutrition.

smokeybailey

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:1f8c8c83-143d-48bd-8452-ad4ffbf608a5">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I realize this is totally flameworthy, but it's true: <strong>I don't understand how significantly overweight people can not want to lose weight.</strong> I'm not saying I think that everyone should want to be a twig, but I don't understand being totally happy to be morbidly obese. That's partially because I know that society says skinny = pretty, so I feel like personally if I weighed twice what I currently do I wouldn't feel as pretty and would be unahppy and partially because the health complications (both stuff like joint pain/difficulty doing activities and longer term possible health concerns) would make me want to lose weight. I'm not saying it's wrong for someone to feel that way, it's just not something that I truly understand.
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

Depression.  Frustration.  Pressure from other overweight people in your circle.

There are lots of things that may weigh down someone's decision to decide that they really want to lose weight and are willing to  make the changes to do it.   Sure if they could snap their fingers and the weight would drop off they would "want" it.  Who of us wouldn't?  But losing weight is not easy and requires a mind set change that some people do not want or cannot imagine that they can have.

Nobody "wants" to be a drug user or an alcoholic either but wanting to change is not always easy.

laladypoet

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:4b021957-c37a-47fb-bf2b-dafeb0954f04">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think all fat people don't want to lose weight. I think about it every day. I hate how I look and I don't feel attractive at all. But my not losing weight isn't because I don't WANT to, it's because other factors are outweighing that desire. Depression, emotional eating and drinking, bad habits all contribute to my current lack of losing weight.
Posted by Birdie1483[/QUOTE]
WORD.

and I'm not gonna lie, some plus size models are smokin hot and make a ton of money being their size. I doubt they'd want to change. I'd be cool with it if I were them.

Birdie1483

lala I miss you and your awesome siggies.

andy71781

I do NOT hate fat people.  I do not hate anybody really.  I grew up being overweight.  I did.  I could not shop in regular clothing stores.  I was fat.  I had a doctor tell me that I was probably shortening my life and at risk for type 2 diabetes.  So I lost a lot of weight and now I'm healthier.  I never said I'd say ANYTHING to ANYBODY. 

All I said was that when I see an obese person over eating at a buffet I think about how unhealthy that is for them.

georgia_bride09

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:32b15813-e1d3-4b1d-8c0b-a91247659c43">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know if there's A) anyone who's been around long enough and 2) remembers or was there this day: But this reminds me of either LawyerJen or A_Schall saying that she hated fat people. That went over well.
Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

That was a_schall.

squirrly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:39be9ba4-d8d2-4e76-8a60-950bc88b9e63">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I live by a buffet and I see these people all the time.  Why?  Because they can afford it.  They probably eat one big meal a day.  Same with fast food.  I can feed my kids off the dollar menu?  Fantastic.  Also, because I am poor there are tons of fast food joins on the bus route or within walking distance of my house. Should they make better choices? Of course.  CAN THEY?  I'm not so sure about that.  I am sure that if you really start breaking down obesity in America, I am confident you will find that poor communities are affected at a much higher rate. So maybe slow your roll on the punching parents.
Posted by smokeybailey[/QUOTE]

EGG-XACTLY.  Also - maybe the parents aren't home.  They're at work, and fast food is what the kids have access to (middle/high school age) on the walk home. 

I coached in a financially affluent area for awhile and had players who fit the stereotype of volleyball players - tall, thin, in shape, etc.  When we had breaks at tournaments and they would get snacks, they made at least half-way decent choices most of the time.  Not that they wouldn't eat pizza, but they weren't picking fried stuff, at least. 

I coached in a blue collar/borderline area that had a high unemployment rate, a lack of grocery stores, and a significant number of fast food restaurants.  My athletes were generally overweight - I ordered a LOT of 2X jerseys.  They ate a LOT of fast food, and would choose it over healthy options, even when they were the same price, probably because it's what they're used to. 

I realize this is unscientific, but it's the same county, just different sides, and it illustrates to me pretty clearly that 1) having the funds to feed your children healthy food from the get-go is important, and 2) even though people may know better, they still gravitate toward food that they know, regardless of whether it's healthy.

louisvillebride21

Glad there's so oldies around who remember that shiit.

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:4b021957-c37a-47fb-bf2b-dafeb0954f04">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think all fat people don't want to lose weight. I think about it every day. I hate how I look and I don't feel attractive at all. But my not losing weight isn't because I don't WANT to, it's because other factors are outweighing that desire. Depression, emotional eating and drinking, bad habits all contribute to my current lack of losing weight.
Posted by Birdie1483[/QUOTE]

Tack on "medication".  I just got switched anxiety meds because the ones I was on were making it impossible to lose weight, no matter what the hell I did. 

andy71781

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:e13c9dc1-62b3-433c-a4f7-79f257fa72f0">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, I'm curious how you would feel about people judging you for drinking so much. Cause I can promise you there are people that would.
Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

I'm not really sure why you are making this personal.  I stated an opinion.  Disagree all you want with it but let's not start taking this to heart.

laladypoet

All I said was that when I see an obese person over eating at a buffet I think about how unhealthy that is for them.

my bullshiit meter is ringing off the charts on that one. you're not worried about them, you're judging them and being sanctimonious and all "I did it, THEY should be able to do it!" please.

georgia_bride09

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:535872d5-f53d-4b52-bc9c-681c33b15ec9">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]I do NOT hate fat people.  I do not hate anybody really.  I grew up being overweight.  I did.  I could not shop in regular clothing stores.  I was fat.  I had a doctor tell me that I was probably shortening my life and at risk for type 2 diabetes.  So I lost a lot of weight and now I'm healthier.  I never said I'd say ANYTHING to ANYBODY.  All I said was that when I see an obese person over eating at a buffet I think about how unhealthy that is for them.
Posted by andy71781[/QUOTE]

Do you also judge people at the bar, the tanning bed, the smoker's section, the grocery store, the beach, and in traffic?

Because I can't imagine how you'd have enough time in the day.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:025d3b53-e13a-47f5-aa79-f0c3f1ea7ec4">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I think that people who are morbidly obese either want to change or should want to change.
Posted by andy71781[/QUOTE]

Oh, I guarantee they want to change. Whether or not they <em>can </em>or will is another story.

If they could easily lose the weight, they were certainly not rather remain fat.

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:ac0a9059-b22e-45b8-9f91-1154ac6452fa">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Depression.  Frustration.  Pressure from other overweight people in your circle. There are lots of things that may weigh down someone's decision to decide that they really want to lose weight and are willing to  make the changes to do it.   Sure if they could snap their fingers and the weight would drop off they would "want" it.  Who of us wouldn't?  But losing weight is not easy and requires a mind set change that some people do not want or cannot imagine that they can have. Nobody "wants" to be a drug user or an alcoholic either but wanting to change is not always easy.
Posted by smokeybailey[/QUOTE]

Smokey, I'm not saying I don't understand why someone doesn't lose weight. I totally do. But I don't understand someone who says "you know, even if I could snap my fingers and look like Gisele Bundchen, I prefer this size and shape because it is 100% my ideal body."

I feel like even alcoholics or other addicts have moments where they wish they could change. That's all I'm talking about, how I don't get not having those moments of wishing for that change.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-67?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a92f1019-f0da-4abb-928d-f8723f58cea5Post:39be9ba4-d8d2-4e76-8a60-950bc88b9e63">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I live by a buffet and I see these people all the time.  Why?  Because they can afford it.  They probably eat one big meal a day.  Same with fast food.  I can feed my kids off the dollar menu?  Fantastic.  Also, because I am poor there are tons of fast food joins on the bus route or within walking distance of my house. Should they make better choices? Of course.  CAN THEY?  I'm not so sure about that.  I am sure that if you really start breaking down obesity in America, I am confident you will find that poor communities are affected at a much higher rate. So maybe slow your roll on the punching parents.
Posted by smokeybailey[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I fully believe that until healthy options are available at a similar cost to junk food, there will always be a problem with obesity.  Working in elementary schools though I've definitely noticed that many kids don't even attempt to eat healthy food, and many parent don't pack healthy lunches.  I can't tell you how many kids have complete junk in their lunches everyday, like cookies and chips and no fruits.  As a health/PE teaacher it drives me off the wall.  </div><div>
</div><div>And I don't believe in the BMI system, and know that it's completely faulty.  </div><div>
</div>

laladypoet

besides andy, this started because you were basically saying you see the x-box douch bag's side of things regarding buffets. you put yourself here, so don't act all butthurt about it.

baystateapple

Okay, work's over. 

I'll be back later, ladies.