Guest "borrowed" photographer at wedding

skippylouwho

Do not post them or purchase them. As someone suggested, break down the photographers fee, and I'd do it by the half hour. Figure out many pictures he took of this chick and send the photographer a bill for it.  Instruct the photographer that he is not to post, print, provide in any way, or sell those photos - to ANYONE ever.  And tell them you will include this in any public review of your vendors that your write and will tell anyone who asks about using them as photographers. Extremely unprofessional.

Notify this girl that you will not be posting the pictures and she will not have access to them. PERIOD.  She doesn't get the option to buy them, see them, or have them given to her. . She was way out of line and it's her tough luck.

skeb76

I don't think I made this clear in the original post- this was a really small wedding, 35 people, and only 7 of these people were "friends" the rest were family.  No FAMILY did this, it was a couple who are "friends".   This is why it seemed so inappropriate to me.  All the rest of the family, no doubt, would have loved to ask for similar photos taken of them, and would, in my view, have had more of a right to do so, than this couple.

I have not spoken to the photographer yet but what I know makes me think this was presented as though we had ok'd this.    I do appreciate everyones' unique comments and input however, and if telling this makes one other person not have to go through this because they will give their photographer a head's up, that is great.
skeb76   

tbh33

A lot of my aunts and uncles decided to use our photographer for some family pics.  Did I care? Nope.  It was at a point that nothing was going on.  It didn't interrupt the photographer getting pictures of us. 

Most people like to get pictures at weddings by the photographer because it's very rare for the entire family to be together and dressed nice.  The photographer only took a couple of shots so I didn't care at all.  We just gave them all the sign in info so that they could see them and purchase them themselves.  Plus like pp said, its the photographers lost.

shadowfish318

I would tell the friend that she needs to pay for the half hour in order to have her pictures released and talk to the photographer about having that taken out of what you owe since it wasn't ok with you. Probably the easiest thing to do.

laura_fett

A lot of the weddings I've been to, I've seen not immediate family taking pictures, using the professional photographer.I don't see a really big deal about this, except that they didn't ask you. I would leave it well alone, and let the photographer handle it. Don't buy them the pictures, if they want them they can talk with the photographer and purchase them.

tjoschko

In my family, this is common.  It's unfortunate but with our family we get together mostly for weddings and funerals.  I guess I am not as offended as everyone else.  A photo takes a minute and while you paid for the photographer I am sure you didn't lose out really.  I expect that this will happen at my wedding.  Maybe it's just a cultural difference.  In the photographers defense, since this is common with my family, I'm sure I'm not the only one and he is probably asked this often.  If he didn't receive specific directions not to take specific photos, why wouldn't he?  I would be mad if the photographer tracked me down on my wedding to ask if it was ok to take the photo.  Just my two cents.

Manwaithiel

Weddings are not family reunions. You pay thousands of dollars sometimes for a photographer's services, let alone your prints, and if you're going to pay that much they better damn well be spending every second of it working for you. My dad and I are videographers. If we pulled a stunt like this at one of our jobs (which my father would never allow) we would get the third degree from our clients. This is a client based business. The client is your boss as long as you're paying them. The minute you start using resources that your boss is paying for for something other than what the contract states, you're being extremely unprofessional and borderline breach of contract. This isn't about it not being "a big deal". It's about making sure you're money isn't wasted on something you did not want (and I don't think this girl wants pictures of her friend and her SO in her wedding album)

And OP is right. It would probably hurt the other family members who would have liked to have some portraits if they thought it was an option. Most of the, however, I'm sure had the tact to realize that that was completely rude.

You need to contact your photographer and tell him that for every minute he/she spent taking those photos, you want your bill prorated and refunded to you. That's how it's done in the real world of photography/videography, though the real world seems lost on weddings.

catemeg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-borrowed-photographer-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ae87484f-43aa-468b-9232-4d8e590191c3Post:bc6c3ba7-0f73-443c-ab9e-946ee52e8c74">Re: Guest "borrowed" photographer at wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think I made this clear in the original post- this was a really small wedding, 35 people, and only 7 of these people were "friends" the rest were family.  No FAMILY did this, it was a couple who are "friends".   This is why it seemed so inappropriate to me.  All the rest of the family, no doubt, would have loved to ask for similar photos taken of them, and would, in my view, have had more of a right to do so, than this couple. I have not spoken to the photographer yet but what I know makes me think this was presented as though we had ok'd this.    I do appreciate everyones' unique comments and input however, and if telling this makes one other person not have to go through this because they will give their photographer a head's up, that is great. skeb76   
Posted by skeb76[/QUOTE]

I think there's a big difference between guests tapping the photographer on the shoulder and going, "Hey, can you snap a picture of me and my husband?" versus commandeering the photographer, setting up posed photos, dragging them to multiple locations, and taking several pictures.  The first I would have no problem with, but the second is just plain rude.  Whether the photographer thought this was okay or not, your friend was totally out of line.

Do you know how many pictures she took? I'm guessing she did plan on purchasing them off the website, but paying for the pictures is significantly cheaper than hiring a photographer to do a private photo session, which is basically what she got.

Did you mention before that this same friend used to be in your bridal party?  And refused to wear the dress and shoes, and thus ended up not being a bridesmaid at all? It sounds like this friend is not very considerate of you AT ALL.  This is truly the root of the problem here.  I think you should at least mention it to your photographer, even if you don't want to make a big deal of it.  And I definitely think you should tell your friend that you had not made the photographer available for private photo shoots, and that she will have to talk to the photographer directly about any prints because you will not post them on your website since what she did is not fair to your other guests who did not have that opportunity.  If you want to allow them to be sold at all - it is totally within your rights to tell him to trash the photos, and let her know that you had not hired the photographer for personal photo shoots so the pictures won't be available.  End of story.

Manwaithiel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-borrowed-photographer-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ae87484f-43aa-468b-9232-4d8e590191c3Post:ef49ee12-901b-42f0-b3c5-532c5065339d">Re: Guest "borrowed" photographer at wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]it is totally within your rights to tell him to trash the photos, and let her know that you had not hired the photographer for personal photo shoots so the pictures won't be available.  End of story.
Posted by catemeg[/QUOTE]

Truth. It would be like your florist taking the centerpieces after the reception and selling them to your guests. You paid for those flowers and her making kickbacks on them afterwards is a complete breach of professionalism. Your photographer has no right making money on something he did while YOU were paying for their time.

TheHockeyBride

That is so RUDE! I can't believe a friend would do that to you. I would understand a little bit if it was close family, but that's ridiculous. It's honestly just some cheap person trying to get out of paying to have real family portraits taken, and very disrespectful  to you that she did not take 5 seconds to come over and ask you or your husband if it was ok! Unbelievable! Do not let her get those pics!

skeb76

Yes, you are right on all counts.  I guess sadly, it is hard to realize when people have "changed" and you don't seem to have the same values anymore. 
Thanks for your input.

shadowfish318

Like I said before since it wasn't ok with you I would tell friend that any unauthorized shots were trashed and the photographer should repay you for the 20+ minutes I'm sure it took. I know that for my wedding I want to get pics of my immediate family, his immediate family, and try to get a few extended family pics... but the photographer is going to have a strict shot list.