Have you seen this dad?

Birdie1483

I think it was lazy of him to make a video instead of addressing the issue with his child directly.

abbalish

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_have-you-seen-this-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b156b234-d9e2-4ff1-b52f-429e73e9a869Post:b76d15e7-f512-4a8d-b031-0476154cd863">Re: Have you seen this dad?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Have you seen this dad? : Yeah, I agree with this. I'm pretty sure that this is just going to make his daughter hate him. And it's very "do as I say not as I do." Plus, I didn't think the letter she wrote was THAT bad. Sounds pretty par for the course for a 15 year old. This guy seems like he has anger issues or something.
Posted by annakb8[/QUOTE]

Yes, this.  15-year olds are asssholes.  I certainly was at that age!  My parents would never have publicly reprimanded me like that - they would have talked to me quietly and rationally about how what I'd done had disappointed them....which is way worse, if you ask me.  I mean, yeah, it's a taste of her own medicine and all that, but what does it really prove?  That it's not OK to air your dirty laundry on the internet, but it's OK for your dad to do it to prove a point?

[Deleted User]

He could have not dealt with it at all, just let the kid go on being in unappreciative brat. Let her think she can say ro do whatever she wants without repercussions. That would be a lazy parent to me.

acaponi87

I think the punishment suits the "crime". She posted inappropriate things on FB (after a previous offense). She had been warned before, yet she still did it and tried to hide it from her parents.

Putting this on FB is a fitting punishment. She needs to learn that things on the internet never go away. She'll understand that now.

I think the shooting part is irrelevant. What if he would have slammed it on concrete? Would people be less upset?This was just the way he was comfortable with destroying it. It's not like he's shooting people or being reckless. He's obviously comfortable and responsible with guns and that's not a bad thing. If he wants to shoot the computer with a gun then good for him. Less mess to clean up than other ways of destroying it.

Stackeye210

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_have-you-seen-this-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b156b234-d9e2-4ff1-b52f-429e73e9a869Post:b910f1c7-dfab-4926-a1ec-4b475d92ba88">Re: Have you seen this dad?</a>:
[QUOTE]What if he hadn't shot the laptop? What if he had just taken a garbage can and thrown it away? Would it be raising as much ire? (I didn't see the shooting part. My video froze right when he finished saying that he wasn't going to pay her for doing her chores)
Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]

<div>If I had seen the laptop w/o shooting I'd feel the same way.  There are a million more effective ways of parenting.  </div>

Habs2Hart

Ya, cfas, the laptop should be taken away, permanently, but shooting it was overkill and wasteful.  Most people on this thread agree on that.   

The part that got me was that because he took the laptop away he assumed she can't access facebook and that she'd never see the video he posted on her wall, so what good does that do?  He admited to posting it for her friends who thought her rebellion was so cool. 

I don't disagree with the video because I think hearing the words that your wrote can come back and really hurt you that you were so hurtful (does that make sense?), but it probably would have served a better purpose if he'd had it playing on the tv screen or something when she got home, rather that posting it to FB where she may never see it. 

crfische

He is a hypocritical, lazy parent. With a gun. But if all y'all think shooting things willy nilly and putting it on Facebook is ok and good parenting, well then.. I'm wasting my time talking about it.

LDYGTR13

Okay, I think I'm starting to understand the hypocritical part. This is why I need things explained!

crfische

Brit did your parents video tape it and show it to your neighborhood?

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_have-you-seen-this-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b156b234-d9e2-4ff1-b52f-429e73e9a869Post:fd983cf3-7917-4e2f-b480-8430f97719d4">Re: Have you seen this dad?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Have you seen this dad? : Yes, this.  15-year olds are asssholes.  I certainly was at that age!  My parents would never have publicly reprimanded me like that -<strong> they would have talked to me quietly and rationally about how what I'd done had disappointed them....which is way worse, if you ask me.</strong>  I mean, yeah, it's a taste of her own medicine and all that, but what does it really prove?  That it's not OK to air your dirty laundry on the internet, but it's OK for your dad to do it to prove a point?
Posted by abbalish[/QUOTE]

YUP.  OMG.  All my dad had to do was look at me and say "I'm absolutely appalled by your behavior and I'm disappointed in you" and that was that.  Instant remorse.

[Deleted User]

Oh yes, physically injuring and possibly killing someone by tarring, feathering, and stoning them is the exact same thing as shooting a laptop while the person in question isn't even in the same vicinity.

specialk84

I think the public humiliation was just as bad as the shooting.

Birdie1483

See I just don't agree with the statements that it's where society is today and the punishment fit the crime. I work with social media every day for my job and I will never believe that there will be an appropriate time to air dirty laundry on the internets. Also, a 15 year old made a rant on the internet about her parents. Essentially the dad was acting like a 15 year old when he made the video in return. While I understand his desire to discipline his child, I feel that the more adult thing to do would be to do it face to face privately.

Stackeye210

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_have-you-seen-this-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b156b234-d9e2-4ff1-b52f-429e73e9a869Post:fcb62b80-2d6f-4497-a655-78403c90fb52">Re: Have you seen this dad?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think the punishment suits the "crime". She posted inappropriate things on FB (after a previous offense). She had been warned before, yet she still did it and tried to hide it from her parents. <strong>Putting this on FB is a fitting punishment. She needs to learn that things on the internet never go away.</strong> She'll understand that now. I think the shooting part is irrelevant. What if he would have slammed it on concrete? Would people be less upset?This was just the way he was comfortable with destroying it. It's not like he's shooting people or being reckless. He's obviously comfortable and responsible with guns and that's not a bad thing. If he wants to shoot the computer with a gun then good for him. Less mess to clean up than other ways of destroying it.
Posted by acaponi87[/QUOTE]

<div>So is she allowed to go back and shoot something of his now?  Since you think eye for an eye is an effective form of punishment?  That's lame.  Plus, your child is 15, you're molding them into the person they should be, so putting a video up of them THAT WILL NEVER GO AWAY is great.  Because now when they learn their lesson it won't matter b/c they'll forever be marked as the brat that is lazy and has a foul mouth and disrespects authority.  </div><div>
</div><div>Good job dad.  ...:::Sarcasm font:::... </div>

crfische

Yeah, because pain is only inflicted by physical harm. I forgot that.

LDYGTR13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_have-you-seen-this-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b156b234-d9e2-4ff1-b52f-429e73e9a869Post:c67fb05a-9d38-4105-89db-57e6959d9559">Re: Have you seen this dad?</a>:
[QUOTE]Brit did your parents video tape it and show it to your neighborhood?
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]
No, but like I said - the kids in afterschool - so all of my friends at the time, saw me doing it. Which basically would be the same kind of thing if you were to equate the technology of the time periods and the ages of the kids.

crfische

Right. Your three close friends knowing your punishment is the same as a viral you tube video. Got it.

LDYGTR13

I need to back away from this thread. I'm just getting upset. 

[Deleted User]

You actually believe that tarring and feathering, or stoning, someone is comparison to destroying a laptop and making a video her friends can see? We'll just have to agree to disagree then, because I can't make sense of that anymore than you can make sense of my viewpoint.

crfische

If you back away when I don't want you to, I'll shoot your laptop! Totally rational! But I'll yell at you first, so it's justified! Yay shooting things!

tenofcups4me

Father seems to be a sadist whose primary goal is to humiliate his daughter. Nice going dad, I'm sure she is utterly humiliated. That's not "tough love," that's sadistic and cruel and completely out of proption to the normal bitching a 15-year-old does.

louisvillebride21

Christy. Serious question here. We (well, they, I'm not in this argument) are your FRIENDS. Why are you being so hostile and combative? You're hurting people. 

crfische

I'm sorry, having an opinion is combative?

HeatherMKR

Previous attempts at punishment didn't work. Her little tirade is disrespectful, and she's a moron for putting on facebook when her father that works in IT and can easily find it. She should've have made it more general instead of "letter to my parents." 

I'd be embarrassed if I were her parent. He's just giving her a taste of her own medicine. Maybe she'll learn now. 

Shooting the laptop...overkill? Maybe. Funny as hell? Yes. 

Being that I grew up with guns, maybe that's why I feel differently than you, Fishy (though I don't know if you did). It's not about fear. It's about respect. I'm not afraid of guns, but I respect them. 

Does anyone else want to see the daughter's reaction to this video? I'm waiting for it. 

I bet this girl will think twice before putting stuff on FB from now on

mkrupar

I do have a question:

What should a parent do in this situation? I just went back to the beginning and saw Habs point about being crushed to see the things your child put out there about you and your family on the internet. What is the appropriate response? It's been established by some that this isn't, so what would/should a parent do?

I'm asking in all honesty because I want to know what to do when my hypothetical child rants about me on FB because I made them wash their clothes.

My instinct is to ground them, take things away, etc because that's what would have happened in my family. Most of the time my punishment was more chores. It worked for me, but it doesn't work for all.

crfische

I thought were team WE CAN DISAGREE AND STILL BE FRIENDS! No? Yeah, I have a really huge issue with people using guns to teach KIDS. A lesson. If that makes me an asshole and makes people not like me, they aren't people I want to know anyway.

louisvillebride21

You're twisting people's words and trying to put meaning into them when you know they don't mean that. You see thigns differently than other people. GREAT. Really. But I've NEVER seen you like this. I guarantee Brittany is crying right now. And I'm so beyond confused as to where this side of you is coming from. 

crfische

I grew up in Minnesota. I get guns.

crfische

So my opinion is hurtful and everyone else's isn't? I get up in arms about very few things, but kids are one of them. Don't mom me.

louisvillebride21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_have-you-seen-this-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b156b234-d9e2-4ff1-b52f-429e73e9a869Post:f2ee7778-2df6-4a9f-84dd-b85ad70ea211">Re: Have you seen this dad?</a>:
[QUOTE]I thought were team WE CAN DISAGREE AND STILL BE FRIENDS! No? 
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]
<div>Yes, of course. But you're HURTING PEOPLE. Why do you want to do that? This is so unlike you. </div>