Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"

salt78

i2i, L-Bride.

Liberty27

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:91a49613-d0cc-4448-a09c-1d1a900f12af">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : But now we're imagining a party where OP is running around, confiscating drinks and pouring them out, and shooing strippers out the door. That doesn't sound fun for anybody, including OP. If these bridesmaids are this out of control, then it sounds like party planning needs to go back to the drawing board. Either you can trust people to have an adult agreement about booze and strippers, or you can't. If you can't, then you're making yourself liable.
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

<div>There will literally be 6 people total there, and the only two who are of legal drinking age are my sister and myself, and we both agreed that we weren't willing to take a risk with intoxicated minors.  If liquor does show up, it won't be enough to constitute "running around."  If I were underage, I would have a reasonable expectation that the events would be age appropriate, which to me doesn't include liquor and greased up men for a 19 year old.</div>

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:1ac1a343-16fd-4252-a358-5b8f712a02e8">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : I know that if they break the rule on the alcohol I can just pour it out.  I am afraid a stripper would be more difficult to get rid of.  I already told them that a stripper would be not be allowed but I am afraid they will get one anyways.
Posted by Liberty27[/QUOTE]

Well, then you tell him there was a misunderstanding and send him on his merry way. I doubt he'll, like, push you down and start grinding anyway. And in that case, the girls will lose out on their money, but oh well, that's what they get.

Also, what kind of liability are you worried about? What do you think will happen with a stripper?

L-Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:b036fecc-2e79-449f-a071-fa3fd274ed22">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]For the record, male strippers aren't sexy. They are hilarious. If they want to hire one, let them. The guy would probably be totally weirded out by the fact that all the girls are teenagers anyway. 
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

This all the way.

louisvillebride21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:91a49613-d0cc-4448-a09c-1d1a900f12af">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : But now we're imagining a party where OP is running around, confiscating drinks and pouring them out, and shooing strippers out the door. That doesn't sound fun for anybody, including OP. If these bridesmaids are this out of control, then it sounds like party planning needs to go back to the drawing board. Either you can trust people to have an adult agreement about booze and strippers, or you can't. If you can't, then you're making yourself liable.
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

Very true.

NuggetBrain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:e6e5667c-f1a0-48ac-838d-f9ac1d098c50">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : Well, then you tell him there was a misunderstanding and send him on his merry way<strong>. I doubt he'll, like, push you down and start grinding anyway</strong>. And in that case, the girls will lose out on their money, but oh well, that's what they get. Also, what kind of liability are you worried about? What do you think will happen with a stripper?
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

*Snort*  Thank you so much for that mental image.  I'm freaking rolling here.

salt78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:1b506384-ecaf-40bf-8e75-2da4fe6fdea8">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: which to me doesn't include liquor and greased up men for a 19 year old.
Posted by Liberty27[/QUOTE]

<div>Are you her mom?</div>

louisvillebride21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:1b506384-ecaf-40bf-8e75-2da4fe6fdea8">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : There will literally be 6 people total there, and the only two who are of legal drinking age are my sister and myself, and we both agreed that we weren't willing to take a risk with intoxicated minors.  If liquor does show up, it won't be enough to constitute "running around."  If I were underage, I would have a reasonable expectation that the events would be age appropriate, which to me doesn't include liquor and greased up men for a 19 year old.
Posted by Liberty27[/QUOTE]

I will say that at 19, I did drink and go to a couple strip clubs. But then again, it was legal for me to go in and I don't think many worried about liability for underage drinkers in college.

Liberty27

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:e6e5667c-f1a0-48ac-838d-f9ac1d098c50">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : Well, then you tell him there was a misunderstanding and send him on his merry way. I doubt he'll, like, push you down and start grinding anyway. And in that case, the girls will lose out on their money, but oh well, that's what they get. <strong>Also, what kind of liability are you worried about? What do you think will happen with a stripper?</strong>
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

<div>Mostly that if they sign some kind of contract with the company, that there isn't anything that says the person that is responsible for the property where it is happening also has liability.  </div>

sarah0725

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:1b506384-ecaf-40bf-8e75-2da4fe6fdea8">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : There will literally be 6 people total there, and the only two who are of legal drinking age are my sister and myself, and we both agreed that we weren't willing to take a risk with intoxicated minors.  If liquor does show up, it won't be enough to constitute "running around."  If I were underage, I would have a reasonable expectation that the events would be age appropriate, which to me doesn't include liquor and greased up men for a 19 year old.
Posted by Liberty27[/QUOTE]

Well, she's getting married, so if she doesn't have a greased up man in her life already, she probably will soon.

But if you're this worried about controlling the situation, you might want to rethink. Have the party at your home, where you can have more control. Or don't do an overnight thing - pick some fun activity that a group of girls can do in the daytime. If you don't feel like you can trust these girls, then well, there are ways out of it.

In addition to all this, though, we're talking about a stripper, not a rapist. He's probably gay anyway, and like many PP have said, he's there to get paid. If he gets paid and is then told there was a misunderstanding, he will leave.

NuggetBrain

I'm with Salt on the ricockulousness of male strippers in general.  There is nothing sexy about you dripping your Axe-scented grease all over me and shoving your sweaty junk in my face.   No.  Thank.  You.

L-Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:1b506384-ecaf-40bf-8e75-2da4fe6fdea8">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : There will literally be 6 people total there, and the only two who are of legal drinking age are my sister and myself, and we both agreed that we weren't willing to take a risk with intoxicated minors.  If liquor does show up, it won't be enough to constitute "running around."  If I were underage, I would have a reasonable expectation that the events would be age appropriate, <strong>which to me doesn't include liquor and greased up men for a 19 year old.
</strong>Posted by Liberty27[/QUOTE]

I'm curious, what age does one have to be to be considered "greased-up-man" appropriate?

louisvillebride21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:4eabfe5b-0436-461e-8375-83a07ff90247">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : <strong>Well, she's getting married, so if she doesn't have a greased up man in her life already, she probably will soon</strong>. But if you're this worried about controlling the situation, you might want to rethink. Have the party at your home, where you can have more control. Or don't do an overnight thing - pick some fun activity that a group of girls can do in the daytime. If you don't feel like you can trust these girls, then well, there are ways out of it. In addition to all this, though, we're talking about a stripper, not a rapist. He's probably gay anyway, and like many PP have said, he's there to get paid. If he gets paid and is then told there was a misunderstanding, he will leave.
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

Well Sarah, are you trying to tell us something about YOUR relationship? The man in my life has certainly never been greased up <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />

NuggetBrain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:4eabfe5b-0436-461e-8375-83a07ff90247">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : Well, she's getting married, so if she doesn't have a greased up man in her life already, she probably will soon. But if you're this worried about controlling the situation, you might want to rethink. Have the party at your home, where you can have more control. Or don't do an overnight thing - pick some fun activity that a group of girls can do in the daytime. If you don't feel like you can trust these girls, then well, there are ways out of it. In addition to all this, though, we're talking about a stripper, not a rapist. He's probably gay anyway, and like many PP have said, he's there to get paid.<strong> If he gets paid and is then told there was a misunderstanding, he will leave.
</strong>Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

For reals.  He'll probably be pumped he got paid to turn his ass around, go home, and chill on the couch. 

danieliza1127

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:e6e5667c-f1a0-48ac-838d-f9ac1d098c50">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" :  Also, what kind of liability are you worried about? What do you think will happen with a stripper?
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

I would imagine if things got loud and rowdy and the hotel staff for any crazy reason called the cops, she could get busted for contributing to the deliquency of a minor.  I assume that's the liability she's talking about.

Liberty27

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:7b984d1a-209b-4cf3-9da3-b33a2e28019a">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : I'm curious, what age does one have to be to be considered "greased-up-man" appropriate?
Posted by L-Bride[/QUOTE]

<div>I would say it is the same age at which you are able to go into establishments where said greased-up men work.  Where I am from that is 21.</div>

louisvillebride21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:683cba97-e9d8-4a83-8ab1-301f77489a21">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : I would say it is the same age at which you are able to go into establishments where said greased-up men work.  Where I am from that is 21.
Posted by Liberty27[/QUOTE]

Its 18 where I am, in the ones that don't serve alcohol.

Liberty27

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:f8df85bf-d7a8-4518-99f9-2f96fddc7c6c">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : Its 18 where I am, in the ones that don't serve alcohol.
Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

<div>That still doesn't cover the 17 year old.</div>

NuggetBrain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:77580402-f4ea-4179-b4c4-4c2a2563f45e">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]spend your worry on saviing a whale or something.
Posted by laladypoet[/QUOTE]

I love you so much Lala.

laladypoet

I bet you're a lot of fun at parties.

L-Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:683cba97-e9d8-4a83-8ab1-301f77489a21">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : I would say it is the same age at which you are able to go into establishments where said greased-up men work.  Where I am from that is 21.
Posted by Liberty27[/QUOTE]

There are no strip clubs that are 18+? The legal age to get into a strip club is 18 unless they serve alcohol and even then the club will usually administer wrist bands. Do you really think someone is old enough enough to get married but not see a stripper at 19? I'm generally curious about that. It just sounds like you have a problem with strippers in general (which is absolutely fine) but are trying to blame it on other things.

louisvillebride21

Look, you've clearly made up your mind here. You're going to tell the bridesmaids not to bring the stripper. They may or may not respect your wishes. What else do you want? There's been lots of suggestions given, but you're finding a way to deflect each one. I don't know what else we can do for you.

laladypoet

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:2afc8e39-d049-4f7f-a5b9-0786003a7302">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : I love you so much Lala.
Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]
I love you so much I won't send you a male stripper ever. unless I can pay noodle to get greased up.

danieliza1127

I think this is a funny and interesting conversation at all, but it still just comes down to  you saying "hey girls, I know you're considering getting a stripper.  I just want you to know that because so-and-so is underage, if a stripper does show up, you guys will have to pay him but he'll have to leave.  No exceptions.  If you guys aren't cool with that, I suggest you either not hire a stripper or you book the room yourself."

sarah0725

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:58037d49-99e8-4fae-9c3b-5c7d9f6f6e1c">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]I still want to know how greased up your man gets, Sarah. ;)
Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

Well, probably not as much as a stripper. But it depends on what you mean by greased.

Either way, seeing a naked man probably is not going to kill the bride to be. :)

NuggetBrain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:ab105215-6eff-4f6d-8383-2cbcb8e1246f">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : That still doesn't cover the 17 year old.
Posted by Liberty27[/QUOTE]

Then she shouldn't go.  Look, you've obviously got some BMs who want to go out and have an adult celebration.  Maybe the bride would like to do the same thing.  Even if she can't drink, maybe she wants to go out dancing or something.  If I was 17, I would completely understand why I couldn't attend a grown-up B-party. Maybe the bride can go have dinner with her, or they can go get their nails done or something to make her feel included without making everyone else feel like they're babysitting or stuck in a Sweet Valley High novel.  It kind of sounds like you are the only one who doesn't think this is okay, and since you're NOT the bride, you need to stop and consider if you're trying to force your own ideas and issues on a bunch of folks who really don't want to hear it.

kikibaby

Stop clutching your pearls and tell them no stripper or you will send him home.

What is so difficult about this?

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:f8df85bf-d7a8-4518-99f9-2f96fddc7c6c">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : Its 18 where I am, in the ones that don't serve alcohol.
Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

I think in most places its 18 if no alcohol is served.  Just like its 18 to get into adult video stores and what not.  And ditto salt and the other poster who said male strippers are just funny.  There is nothing sexy about them. 

OP- I think you are worrying too much about trying to control other people.  I think your main priority shuold be to ask the bride what she is interested in.  IF she says she would like strippers there, then you can explain to the other BMs that they need to host the party and book the room.  Then if strippers show up, you can just leave if you want.  I know if I was a BM I would have already said forget about you hosting then if you were going to be this controlling.  But then again, we used to go up to strip clubs in Canada at 17 for fun and were drinkers.  Not being 21 didn't keep us from being able to access it. 

louisvillebride21

Lol, I agree. I don't have a 'problem' with strippers. Other than the fact that I only tolerate my husbands junk because I'm married to him. I don't have to tolerate a strippers junk in my face. It looks funny and not attractive at all.

Liberty27

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:77580402-f4ea-4179-b4c4-4c2a2563f45e">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]maybe you could stop being such a mother hen? spend your worry on saviing a whale or something.
Posted by laladypoet[/QUOTE]

<div>I am really not trying to be a mother hen.  That isn't my intention at all.  Instead, I just think it is inappropriate for a stripper to be at a 19 year old's bachelorette party, and seeing as I am the one paying for it I think that is well within my rights to request that.  </div>