Wedding Etiquette Forum
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ceremony invites VS reception invites

We are inviting a total of about 160 to the reception. But we are having our ceremony at a very small chapel that only holds up to 100. I don't know what the right way is to go about invites. :( Do we pick and choose  who to invite to the ceremony or just invite everyone and hope only 100 show up? I've thought about maybe saying  something along the lines of.... We are having a small, intimate ceremony at "chapel" but would love if you'd join us for the reception to follow.
Ahh its driving me crazy!! any ideas?!
Thanks!!
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Re: ceremony invites VS reception invites

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    You either need to cut your guest list down to 100 people or find a bigger venue. 
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    You don't have tiered weddings.  

    Basically you are saying you are good enough to buy us a gift, but not see us get married.  

    Reduce your list to 100.
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    My only advice is cut the ceremony guest list to only immediate family *maybe* add in aunts/uncles.

    Then have everyone else come to the reception..

    I've been invited to 2 such weddings (both of which I've had to fly to) and I have not been offended.

    guests are more understanding when it's a 25/75 ratio ceremony to reception.  If it's 73/25 ceremony they are less likely to understand.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    LP11509LP11509 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    I agree with PPs that you need to either cut the ceremony to immediate family only, or find a new ceremony site.  If I was one of only a few guests not invited to the ceremony, I'd honestly be a little offended.  But if the ceremony was literally only immediate family, I'd be much more understanding. 
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    I wouldn't be offended if it was just family only. We went to a wedding where there was a chapel on the bride's parents' property. It was big enough to fit all of the guests inside, so we had to stand outside with the rest of the "non-important" guests. Honestly, I would have much preferred she just did immediate family only for the ceremony, and has us come for the reception.
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    Thanks for the feed back, we will probably just do immidiate family for the ceremony. i wanted something small and private anyhow... its just sooo hard to not offend people now a days. specially in the giant family i have. but i'm sure they will be understanding. :)
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ceremony-invites-vs-reception-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ce9e0741-dfd1-489a-8019-fd2dc2101764Post:58be69c5-7536-4023-9c27-d488259fcbc4">Re: ceremony invites VS reception invites</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks for the feed back, we will probably just do immidiate family for the ceremony. i wanted something small and private anyhow... its just sooo hard to not offend people now a days. specially in the giant family i have. but i'm sure they will be understanding. :)
    Posted by XCaribeans[/QUOTE]

    So if you do that, then I'd just make the invitations for the reception, and put an insert with the ceremony info in the invites for immediate family.

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
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