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Guest list issues HELP!

I'm trying to put together a basic guest list.  When I ask my fiance who he wants to invite, he responds with just his parents and sister. Unfourtunalty for him I don't think this is possible for a few reasons, mostly  I don't want to be rude. He has extended family that would be crushed if we didn't invite them, and I wouldn't blame them.

Both I and my FMIL have tried to explian why we can't not invite everyone in the family, with no avail.  She has provided me with a short and reasonable list of extended family to invite. I have also brought up the option to have a private ceremony with a select group of people, and then extend invites to everyone else for a reception.

I guess I'm just not sure how to approach this without him feeling like I'm not taking his feelings into consideration...after all its OUR day, not just mine.  But I feel like his choice is not an option.

I would appretiate any help and advice out there, THANKS!
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