Dealbreakers

ErinG93

AND my H doesn't have a degree. He is incredibly intelligent, so I'm happy.

NicoleSahara

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:7c12c619-ba38-489c-8a6b-8d89523788cc">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dealbreakers : Because they always go hand in hand?  I'm interested that so many people say they wouldn't date someone without a degree, especially with how the economy is.  Having a college degree is most certainly not the only way to be successful nowadays.
Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]

I was thinking this exact same thing.

I couldn't be with someone who didn't respect my family.

midgetthemighty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:fbb0997e-df39-4b2d-adac-e3dbaa948d2a">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dealbreakers : If you say "I seen" ever, even once, I'm out.
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]

*cringe* I <strong><u>HATE</u></strong> that one probably the most. It's like nails on a chalkboard.

I also couldn't be with an atheist.

ErinG93

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:5427c2f9-edea-437a-8269-aeeb269c7fb1">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dealbreakers : I was thinking this exact same thing. <strong>I couldn't be with someone who didn't respect my family.</strong>
Posted by NicoleSahara[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This. In fact, I couldn't be with someone who didn't 'mesh' with my family.

</div>

Snippylynn

In order of priority:

1) Smoker

2) Drug user

3) Unintelligent

4) Poor health (self-inflicted)

5) Super religious

I'll stop there.

Megbo2012

I couldn't date someone who was a vegetarian. 

angelstar975

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:7c12c619-ba38-489c-8a6b-8d89523788cc">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dealbreakers : Because they always go hand in hand?  I'm interested that so many people say they wouldn't date someone without a degree, especially with how the economy is.  Having a college degree is most certainly not the only way to be successful nowadays.
Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]

No, they don't go hand in hand, which is why I said "or" and not "and."

ETA - But I guess I want both of them, so I could have just put them as separate items. I wasn't implying that no degree = not intelligent.

adamar15

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:632569a4-09cc-4f67-a63e-6f0ece9a498b">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dealbreakers : This. In fact, I couldn't be with someone who didn't 'mesh' with my family.
Posted by ErinG93[/QUOTE]

Yep.  I may complain about my MIL, but when it comes down to it we all get along.  It would have been a big problem if my family didn't like H or if his family didn't like me. 

Habs2Hart

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:7c12c619-ba38-489c-8a6b-8d89523788cc">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dealbreakers : Because they always go hand in hand?  I'm interested that so many people say they wouldn't date someone without a degree, especially with how the economy is.  Having a college degree is most certainly not the only way to be successful nowadays.
Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]

Exactly.  Even in the past degree =/= success. 

Intelligence and post secondary degrees do not go hand in hand. 

aragx6

I couldn't be with a racist, a homeophobe or someone who didn't respect a woman's right to make her own healthcare decisions.

divinemsbee

I'm gonna agree on Tea Partier being a total deal-breaker. Someone I disagree with on occasion is good and leads to discussion. Someone that nuts, no thank you. 

Hardcore gamer, especially player of MMO/RPGs, is a dealbreaker for me. And has been, twice. I'm so happy that FI sometimes plays video games as stress relief, but can always take or leave them to go into the outside world. 

Along with that, anyone who goes to Cons regularly. I know people who spend thousands of dollars a year and all their vacation time attending them. Not for me. 

musicalsunlight

Yeah I couldn't date a smoker at all.

I wouldn't divorce J if he gained weight but i would be unhappy if it got bad. I don't want a fat husband, sorry.

aragx6

For me it's less about intelligence and more about being well read. You can do that without college, and if so that's great, but having gone to (at least a good) college pretty much means you will be well read, and that's important to me.

Megbo2012

Or someone shorter than me (5'2")

Or someone who is into Nascar and thinks it's a sport. 

MyUserName1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:bea6f196-99c9-4910-be5f-0fcb00225a8c">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]I couldn't be with a racist, a homeophobe or someone who didn't respect a woman's right to make her own healthcare decisions.
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]

Oh this too.  Absofuckinglutely.

dumdumfroggie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:7c12c619-ba38-489c-8a6b-8d89523788cc">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dealbreakers : Because they always go hand in hand?  I'm interested that so many people say they wouldn't date someone without a degree, especially with how the economy is.  Having a college degree is most certainly not the only way to be successful nowadays.
Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]

<div>For me, I'm a bit older and also always dated guys that were older.  So, the economy wasn't that way back when we/they would have been in college.  But yeah, I really value education (formal and informal), so it is a dealbreaker for me.  </div>

LeiselEB

I wouldn't date/marry:

someone unhealthy, really out of shape or lacking good hygiene (I'm vain, I'll admit it)

someone who regularly uses bad grammar

someone with tattoos or piercings

someone who uses drugs 

ErinG93

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:153c5317-a299-4c98-b952-162a8ab5e6a5">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]Dealbreaker: If he not only didn't like my family, but didn't like/get along with my friends. H and I were talking about this the other day. <strong>We have a buddy of ours getting married this year. His FI hates every single one of us. </strong>It's awful. I couldn't marry someone if I hated all their friends or family / vice versa.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>We have a friend like this. His GF HATES us. Her loss!

</div>

musicalsunlight

Shorter than me isn't too big of a deal to me because i'm 5'11. But J is like half an inch taller which is nice.

Habs2Hart

Musu - Same. 

I also couldn't date a gamer.  Someone who enjoys video games here and there, but someone who games all the time and what not, ya no.  There are more adult things to do, but I'm more of an outdoors fan than a couch fan. 

aragx6

I couldn't be with a neat freak. Not because they'd bother me so much as the fact that I'd drive them nuts.

NicoleSahara

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:3d4b6ff4-b06c-492e-b4d5-bfc1352ff16f">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]For me it's less about intelligence and more about being well read. You can do that without college, and if so that's great, but having gone to (at least a good) college pretty much means you will be well read, and that's important to me.
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]

I can't help but think this just sounds really snobby.

mkrupar

-Someone without family values. Like they spend not time with their family/don't get along with their family. Family is important yo.

-Someone who does drugs.

-Someone who can't keep a job.

-Someone who doesn't have  higher form of education beyond HS. Not just college. Tech schools, vocational schools, apprentiships, even military are ok with me. But someone who gets a HS degree and that's it. Nope wouldn't have worked.

It's funny to talk about deal breakers when we're all mostly married.

adamar15

Heh, I guess I'm not that picky.  Most of this stuff doesn't bother me besides the basics like hygiene and racism.

aragx6

Oh and let's be honest. I couldn't be with a teatotaller. I love  to drink. I also wouldn't want to be with an alcoholic because I'd either feel guilty for drinking or be bummed because I couldn't enjoy it every once in a while.

Megbo2012

MuSu I just realized that if someone didn't know you, they'd think your man of honor was your H and be all "she IS taller than her H, unless she's wearing heels!" 

Ditto the whole ignorant thing. 

LeiselEB

Ooh, I could never be with someone shorter than me. 

or someone who doens't have a strong work ethic and strong sense of responsibility. 

aragx6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealbreakers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:db81d746-f571-4bb7-b863-49903207fc8fPost:c7e5811c-eb91-488b-a32e-7427b6cabb55">Re: Dealbreakers</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dealbreakers : I can't help but think this just sounds really snobby.
Posted by NicoleSahara[/QUOTE]

If wanting to be with someone who cares about reading about what's going on at home and abroad makes me a snob, then I'm happy to accept that distinction.

ErinG93

I would have a really hard time being with a workaholic. I put a pretty high value on family time.

musicalsunlight

I couldnt be with someone who wanted cats because I'm allergic.

I couldn't date someone or marry someone that didn't have the same insane dog love that i do.