Whats the worst thing your parents have ever done to you?

kate51485

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whats-worst-thing-parents-ever-done?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e05e82e5-b29a-4b1f-b574-cfc691712b07Post:50be4270-b4b3-420a-ad78-42b751fa213a">Re: Whats the worst thing your parents have ever done to you?</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow I was going to say they put my dog to sleep and didn't tell me for 3 days. And my dad used to embarrass the crap out of me, when we came to a stop light and someone was in a car beside us, he would turn up the stereo and dance. While I slowly sank under the dash board. My mom and I fought alot as a teenager, cause I was awful. She pulled me out of the house by my hair one time, cause she didn't want me to stay at the house by myself. I used to have parties after my dad left for work, and he had custody of me. Mom was always the disciplinarian even after they divorced.But I know she did it cause she loved me. We had a strange family but reading your posts makes me sad. <strong>Rach- I wonder if your issues with your mother somehow effect how you deal with FSIL? NOt trying to diagnose just makes sense you know?
</strong>Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

How, exactly, does this make sense? 

akhensley81

My freshman year of college... my brothers were still in High School... and for their Spring Break the family took a trip to Paris, minus me - because I had class. Canada is still the only other country I've ever been to.

Oh -- I thought of another one. I am deathly allergic to nuts. One year for New Year's my mom baked a cake... she forgot to read the ingredients at the store and it was packed full of pecan meal. I (literally) nearly died.

september's bride

I don't really think my parents did anything really terrible to me, but I do remember one Christmas where there was a really large present tucked away behind the tree. I eyed it for two weeks til Christmas came, and even unwrapped things slowly Christmas morning to prolong the suspense. I was so excited to finally open it, and when I did...it was a globe.

VaporTrail

my parents made DH and i get married before our actual wedding because we were about to move in together (two weeks before the wedding) and they didn't want us "living in sin" for those two weeks.  DH will always resent my mom for that.

however, my brothers and their girlfriends went on trips together all over the country and she never said a damnthing.

pooh8402

when I was 17, my dad told me I was giving him a heart attack and stomach ulcers while we were in the middle of an argument (typical teenage stuff). he actually said, "you're killing me." since my dad has actual heart problems, this really scared me. I don't think I've ever seen my mom so pissed at my dad before. I actually moved out of my dad's house and into my mom's for a month while I calmed down enough to forgive him.

but otherwise, my parents have been pretty much great.

BecW2be

How on earth do the parents of two adults make them get married? I'm confused. If your DH resents your mom for that, he needs to refocus some of that on himself and on you for allowing it.

FutureMrsTR

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whats-worst-thing-parents-ever-done?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e05e82e5-b29a-4b1f-b574-cfc691712b07Post:ce0bb77f-6eca-44ba-8ac7-b6b28792971b">Re: Whats the worst thing your parents have ever done to you?</a>:
[QUOTE]my parents made DH and i get married before our actual wedding because we were about to move in together (two weeks before the wedding) and they didn't want us "living in sin" for those two weeks.  DH will always resent my mom for that. however, my brothers and their girlfriends went on trips together all over the country and she never said a damnthing.
Posted by VaporTrail[/QUOTE]

How, exactly, did they <em>make</em> you do this?   I may have a pretty lax relationship with my parents, but I would have laughed my ass off if they tried to make that kind of decision for me.

punkyb2b

Vapor- great. now this post is going to turn into you and your parents fake wedding. 

kate- I can kind of get the Rach mother-SILthing.  I have a hard time accepting my MIL's affection and interest in my life because I'm not used to it.  She is what I think of as a normal, Mrs. Brady type mom. My mom wasn't.  So I find MIL overbearing at times, when really she is motherly.  Does that make sense?

shellydiane820

My mom opened my ACT scores (they were sent in the mail) in front of my whole family and talked about how I did.  I was so embarrassed.  I hadn't seen the scores yet, and I performed less than stellar.

I think I can honestly say, that's the most upset I've ever been.  She never touched my mail after that.

VaporTrail

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whats-worst-thing-parents-ever-done?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e05e82e5-b29a-4b1f-b574-cfc691712b07Post:5cdd33ca-02e3-41e0-8d4d-2710d110fdad">Re: Whats the worst thing your parents have ever done to you?</a>:
[QUOTE]How on earth do the parents of two adults make them get married? I'm confused. If your DH resents your mom for that, he needs to refocus some of that on himself and on you for allowing it.
Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>i allowed it basically.  my parents were always really bad about holding stuff over my head (threatening me, basically) and i always gave in to make peace.  DH let me make the decision to just go ahead and sign thedamn license and be done with it or else my parents would've made my life miserable.</div><div>
</div><div>but as of now, my parents can eff off.

</div>

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whats-worst-thing-parents-ever-done?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e05e82e5-b29a-4b1f-b574-cfc691712b07Post:5cdd33ca-02e3-41e0-8d4d-2710d110fdad">Re: Whats the worst thing your parents have ever done to you?</a>:
[QUOTE]How on earth do the parents of two adults make them get married? I'm confused. If your DH resents your mom for that, he needs to refocus some of that on himself and on you for allowing it.
Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]

Come on Bec... no one said they were ADULTS.  They could be, like, 15, and need their parent's permission.  Like Maya on Private Practice.

BecW2be

Then DH should resent you, not your mother, for allowing that. If they can "eff off" now anyway, why would you let them control your wedding date?

kate51485

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whats-worst-thing-parents-ever-done?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e05e82e5-b29a-4b1f-b574-cfc691712b07Post:a6ed2df5-0be7-43cb-8b9b-846fe258e661">Re: Whats the worst thing your parents have ever done to you?</a>:
[QUOTE]kate- I can kind of get the Rach mother-SILthing.  I have a hard time accepting my MIL's affection and interest in my life because I'm not used to it.  She is what I think of as a normal, Mrs. Brady type mom. My mom wasn't.  So I find MIL overbearing at times, when really she is motherly.  Does that make sense?
Posted by punkyb2b[/QUOTE]

It's not her MIL.  It's her Sister in law.

lpstl

We went to Florida every summer for a family vacation. The year we went when I was 15 my brother decided to tell my mom that he read I wasn't a virgin anymore in my diary (which was a complete lie, he was just an evil little kid). My mom believed him, and that night we went out to dinner. She got drunk and screamed at me for about an hour, calling me a slut and a whore. I'm pretty sure the entire restaurant heard her. I just sat there crying. She also decided to tell me that night that I wasn't planned and she got knocked up while using a diaphragm.

I refused to go on anymore family vacations after that.

VaporTrail

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whats-worst-thing-parents-ever-done?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e05e82e5-b29a-4b1f-b574-cfc691712b07Post:df40133c-0d1f-4cca-837b-acc126a7cdea">Re: Whats the worst thing your parents have ever done to you?</a>:
[QUOTE]Then DH should resent you, not your mother, for allowing that. If they can "eff off" now anyway, why would you let them control your wedding date?
Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>because at the time, it was easier to just let my mother have her way.  emphasis on "at the time."  it was already a stressful situation and (also at that time) i couldn't stand for my parents to be mad at me.  i've since adopted DH's "who gives a flying fcuk" mentality and tell them to eff off when they try to manipulate me.  i just didn't have the balls at the time.</div>

mandysmear

My parents were amazing.  Amazing.  Since my dad has remarried, he has:

-done "family" photos with his new family and not invited us
-spent 1 christmas out of 4 with us
-not called on christmas or birthdays
-put his wife and her children first in his life almost always

But, he bought me a car 4 years ago, so that makes up for it.  ::eyeroll::  Yeah money doesn't buy love... the beatles were geniuses.

RachNRich

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whats-worst-thing-parents-ever-done?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e05e82e5-b29a-4b1f-b574-cfc691712b07Post:50be4270-b4b3-420a-ad78-42b751fa213a">Re: Whats the worst thing your parents have ever done to you?</a>:
[QUOTE] Rach- I wonder if your issues with your mother somehow effect how you deal with FSIL? NOt trying to diagnose just makes sense you know?
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

I had issues with my mom because of what happened, but that was almost a decade ago--and we've worked through them. And issues I have with her now are because she's a bit airheaded--not because of what happened.
Not trying to be rude--but, I just don't see how issues with my mom = issues with FSIL? The issues with my mom would have been around her hitting me...FSIL and I never got into a physical argument. If you are addressing something else, I must be missing it---but I'm open to more details if you'd like to elaborate (seriously).

baystateapple

Lpstl, you poor kid.  That's terrible.

Reading this thread really makes me realize that my parents, besides a couple of slip-ups, were really very decent parents.

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whats-worst-thing-parents-ever-done?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e05e82e5-b29a-4b1f-b574-cfc691712b07Post:df40133c-0d1f-4cca-837b-acc126a7cdea">Re: Whats the worst thing your parents have ever done to you?</a>:
[QUOTE]Then DH should resent you, not your mother, for allowing that. If they can "eff off" now anyway, why would you let them control your wedding date?
Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]
Bec is awesome.

Seriously, if you are an adult and are ready to be married, you don't let your parents control your actions like that.

jasmineh7777

This was in no way my parents fault, but it definitely traumatized me. When I was 4, and my brother was 7, he was diagnosed with Hodgkins disease. He had a tumor in his chest the size of a football, and they had to leave that same day to go to the children's hospital in Utah.
I didn't understand any of this, and they left me at home with my Grandma. I had never spent more than a few hours away from my parents. They ended up being gone for 3 weeks, and I thought they had given me away. After that, I thought they were getting rid of me anytime they left.

VaporTrail

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whats-worst-thing-parents-ever-done?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e05e82e5-b29a-4b1f-b574-cfc691712b07Post:570b0973-fdf3-43d1-8e8f-6cb31e5f6fe2">Re: Whats the worst thing your parents have ever done to you?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Whats the worst thing your parents have ever done to you? : Bec is awesome. Seriously, if you are an adult and are ready to be married, you don't let your parents control your actions like that.
Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>then i guess i'm not ready.  </div><div>
</div><div>*goes to file the papers</div>

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whats-worst-thing-parents-ever-done?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e05e82e5-b29a-4b1f-b574-cfc691712b07Post:5a05af08-a19a-4410-ad48-96624aa99c97">Re: Whats the worst thing your parents have ever done to you?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Whats the worst thing your parents have ever done to you? : I had issues with my mom because of what happened, but that was almost a decade ago--and we've worked through them. And issues I have with her now are because she's a bit airheaded--not because of what happened. Not trying to be rude--but, I just don't see how issues with my mom = issues with FSIL? The issues with my mom would have been around her hitting me...FSIL and I never got into a physical argument. If you are addressing something else, I must be missing it---but I'm open to more details if you'd like to elaborate (seriously).
Posted by RachNRich[/QUOTE]
No problem not trying to diagnose as I said in the original post. I don't pretend to know the whole situation with FSIL just the one thread I was on recently, and how you react to her now, after she was so dismissive and nasty to you at first and now she wants you to be involved in her life.
I'm just thinking you may have control of this situation where you didn't with your Mom. And you may not be as forgiving when people treat you like crap, this may be why you have the strong reaction you do towards her.

But then again I could be wrong. I'm not in it. I just think when we're treated like crap in early life we may not so quick to forgive when we're treated that way in adult life when we have more control.

ETA: Sorry, at work got distracted and repeating myself.

RachNRich

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whats-worst-thing-parents-ever-done?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e05e82e5-b29a-4b1f-b574-cfc691712b07Post:a6ed2df5-0be7-43cb-8b9b-846fe258e661">Re: Whats the worst thing your parents have ever done to you?</a>:
[QUOTE]I can kind of get the Rach mother-SILthing.  I have a hard time accepting my MIL's affection and interest in my life because I'm not used to it.  She is what I think of as a normal, Mrs. Brady type mom. My mom wasn't.  So I find MIL overbearing at times, when really she is motherly.  Does that make sense?
Posted by punkyb2b[/QUOTE]

This is a thread about the worst thing parents have ever done to their children--so I spilled the worst. It goes without saying, I would hope, that the worst does not = my entire life; I had, for the most part, two great parents---both of whom I am close with (my dad more so than my mom). So, I understand closeness in regards to family members--I talk to both of my parents multiple times a week, and see them frequently.

If the comparison is that I don't get along with FSIL because I don't understand or haven't experience a "close family" or something along those lines and subsequently cannot appreciate or understand her relationship with Rich, then I do not see the correlation--as I, too, am close with my family members. Just not <span style="font-style:italic;">that</span> close.

RachNRich

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whats-worst-thing-parents-ever-done?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e05e82e5-b29a-4b1f-b574-cfc691712b07Post:99c4c448-a2da-4a8d-880f-32cf75a606f3">Re: Whats the worst thing your parents have ever done to you?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Whats the worst thing your parents have ever done to you? : No problem not trying to diagnose as I said in the orginal post. I dont pretend to know the whole situation with FSIL just the one thread I was on recently, and how you react to her now, after she was so dismissive and nasty to you at first and now she wants you to be invloved in her life. I'm just thinking you may have control of this situation where you didnt with your Mom. <strong>And you may not be as forgiving when people treat you like crap, this may be why you have the strong reaction you do towards her</strong>. But then again I could be wrong. I'm not in it. I just think when we're treated like crap in early life we may not so quick to forgive when we're treated that way in adult life when we have more control.
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

I think this is very true; I am not as forgiving when people treat me like crap as I was when I was 16---but, I believe that is because I have grown up and learned to fend for myself and not allow people to walk all over me. I am not sure it is a direct result of what happened with my mom, but I could see it playing a role in it.

lpstl

Well, I think that was the only time I really let my nutcase mother get to me. My dad was awesome, he just wouldn't stand up to her. I think he tried telling her to shut it that night, but when she gets like that there's no stopping her.

She got progressively worse over the years, and completely lost it when she divorced my dad when I was 17. Every single day she would come home screaming about something ridiculous, like the cordless phone being off the base. I got slapped across the face for that once, but by that point I was sick of her shiit and slapped her back. She would turn into a different person if she brought one of her random men home though, then she was fun loving super mom.

Rach & Heels, I really just want to give both of you a big hug. BSC parents are no fun.

Ishaba11

Similar to the broken hand story...when I was in the 2nd grade my mom took me shopping in the mall. I got bored and decided to practice my tap dancing in the middle of the mall while waiting for her to finish shopping. My foot slipped out from under me and down I went. I told my mom my arm hurt and she said "you're fine". We went home, she made me ice my (broken!) arm for two days before taking me to the hospital!

Also, in my adult life, recently we were watching "Say yes to the dress" and it was an episode about plus size brides. (a little back story here, I am about a size 12 my mom is a 2) My mom says to me "wow that girl is big....see there is still hope for you" I am not sure if she called me fat or saying no one was ever going to marry me but either way it hurt.

jasmineh7777

My parents did foster care while we were growing up. So, even though they did some crappy things over the years, they are saints compared to the parents of some of our foster kids.

AlexiaANDRobert

This thread really made me appreciate my parents.

I'm sorry to those of you that had a rough time growing up but congratulations on making yourselves pretty awesome adults.

hayleymajayley

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whats-worst-thing-parents-ever-done?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e05e82e5-b29a-4b1f-b574-cfc691712b07Post:411f8ad6-1118-448f-9853-582a82d969c4">Re: Whats the worst thing your parents have ever done to you?</a>:
[QUOTE]This thread really made me appreciate my parents. I'm sorry to those of you that had a rough time growing up but congratulations on making yourselves pretty awesome adults.
Posted by AlexiaANDRobert[/QUOTE]

This.

goheels05

Hugs for you, too lpstl.  And your story reminds me of prom my junior year.  My dad found out that after prom, I went to a party where there were *gasp* boys, and the rest of the weekend he called me a slut and a whore and accused me of sleeping with the entire soccer team.  Yeah, I was a virgin.