Etiquette

Kids Invited- Yes or No & Why

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Re: Kids Invited- Yes or No & Why

  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its

    We invited my 7 nieces/nephews were invited to our 100% OOT wedding, but no other kids.  

    Reason?  Because I have 24 first cousins with 95% being married and 98% having procrated 65-something kids between the ages of 4-33.  That does not even included friends or DH's side of the family.  Just mine.  You have to make a cut somewhere and mine was at my nieces and nephews.     

    Not one of of our guests who had young children declined our invitation - remember is was 100% OOT.  One even had a 6 month old. 


    It's standard in our social circle to invite siblings, first cousins, nieces/nephews, WP members and children of the couple regardless of age.    None of us think twice about kids not being invited.   Actually the assumption is they are NOT invited.   Most parents start looking for the babysitter as soon as they hear the wedding date being announced.


    Don't take it so personal.    Inviting your kid could set off a domino effect that would mean 30 other kids would have to be invited.   At some point every couple has to make a cut.  If it's between my good friend getting 2 seats or your 2 kids, I'm going to pick the person who not only am I closer to, but will actually remember the event.







    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-invited-yes-or-no-why?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f28391ff-83e9-48c1-9b06-4f3f7edbb982Post:1d53c64f-1a54-4bb5-a7ee-588d37334ff6">Re: Kids Invited- Yes or No & Why</a>:
    [QUOTE]It was in our contract with a historic B&B that any child under the age of 16 had to be with their parent(s) at all times and any child out of the supervision of their parent(s) would immediately be taken to the adult(s) and the family would be asked to leave.  Everything in the house was historic or original to the period.  We scanned that page of the contract and emailed it to friends and family with children with an explanation that if they wanted to bring their little ones, these were the rules. Nobody did. I've never understood the mentality of "kids will ruin everything!!!"  I remember being left home exactly once growing up.  Kids were always welcome at every wedding and <strong>we had parents who made damn sure we behaved.</strong><div>Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

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    </div><div>As illustrated by the children running around the (nice) restaurant we were at last night with balls of dough on their heads, unfortunately this is less and less common. If the children in my and my FI's extended families were taught to behave as we were as kids, we might have felt differently about having kids at the wedding.</div>
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    In Response to Re:Kids Invited Yes or No :[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Kids Invited Yes or No amp; Why:Wow, lots of brides shun kiddos!nbsp; LOLnbsp; Instead of putting no kids, would anyone let the parents make the decision to bring the kids or not? Now that my kids are older, I leave them home most of the time, by choice.nbsp; I thinknbsp;I would be pretty mad or insulted if someone made that decision for me, but I don't know.nbsp; I am always for a night out without the kids!!nbsp; But that is just me!nbsp;Posted by antibride2013I think shun is a bit harsh.nbsp; There are many reasons why a couple would choose not to invite kids, and budget and space are a few big ones.nbsp; We invited children who are part of our lives nieces/nephews, close friends' kids but not those we barely know like coworkers' kids.To the first bolded, it is never ok to put "no kids"/adults only/any other version thereof on the invitation.nbsp;nbsp;Some kids weren't invitednbsp;nbsp;we conveyed that by addressing the envelope to those who were invited only.nbsp; To the second bolded, I'mnbsp;sorry you feel that way, but I think it is unreasonable to be mad or offended that your children are not invited everywhere you are.nbsp; Posted by daveANDkristen[/QUOTE]

    This. Thank you for saying that so much better than I did. Children just aren't always invited to everything.
  • We are not inviting anyone under 21 unless they are in the WP. 5 kids all together coming to reception for dinner but leaving by 8:00pm.. We love kids, but we dont want children around 200 plus drinking adults..  
  • OjitosVerdesOjitosVerdes member
    250 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited February 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-invited-yes-or-no-why?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f28391ff-83e9-48c1-9b06-4f3f7edbb982Post:581717d3-59e6-492f-9f83-b9225d3dc275">Re: Kids Invited- Yes or No & Why</a>:
    [QUOTE]We invited my 7 nieces/nephews were invited to our 100% OOT wedding, but no other kids.   Reason?  Because I have 24 first cousins with 95% being married and 98% having procrated 65-something kids between the ages of 4-33.  That does not even included friends or DH's side of the family.  Just mine.  <strong>You have to make a cut somewhere</strong> and mine was at my nieces and nephews.      Not one of of our guests who had young children declined our invitation - remember is was 100% OOT.  One even had a 6 month old.  It's standard in our social circle to invite siblings, first cousins, nieces/nephews, WP members and children of the couple regardless of age.    None of us think twice about kids not being invited.   Actually the assumption is they are NOT invited.   Most parents start looking for the babysitter as soon as they hear the wedding date being announced. Don't take it so personal.    Inviting your kid could set off a domino effect that would mean 30 other kids would have to be invited.   <strong>At some point every couple has to make a cut.  If it's between my good friend getting 2 seats or your 2 kids, I'm going to pick the person who not only am I closer to, but will actually remember the event.</strong>
    Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Every word of this, especially the bolded parts.
    <div>
    </div><div>Also, I preface this with the the fact that I don't have children yet, but I simply cannot imagine if I ever did, that I'd assume everywhere I'm invited my children are, too.  As with the above poster's social circle, I would assume they weren't invited unless indicated otherwise, and then if it were at all possible, I'd probably find a sitter instead of bringing them along. Children can be wonderful and if people want them at their wedding, then awesome. But personally and from a guest's perspective, I think I'd appreciate a night out with just my husband and would certainly NEVER expect someone to subsidize my reproductive choices at their wedding celebrations unless they were super close to my kids - and even then I hope I'd understand if they weren't invited.  
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  • We are inviting the children of family and out of town guests, and those in the wedding party. Other than that, our reception is "Adult Only" (which isn't on the wedding invite but it is on the reception card because I know that I have to be VERY clear with some of the people I am inviting. Also, I really don't want to create more work for myself a few weeks before the wedding by having to call everyone that included their children and let them know in no uncertain terms that my single mother and I cannot afford to have their kids there.). Price is a HUGE part of it but also the reception is located on a rooftop, not exactly safe, and a few of the kids I know would be giant distractions to a nice sit down meal. Really, it's up to you and your FI what you want. My FI and I barely had to discuss it, we just knew what was right for us.
    Soon-to-be Mrs. Kent
  • I am having nieces and nephewes because I cannot imagine having my wedding without them. They are my pride and joy.


    I stopped there, though. I cannot have everyone else's children due to space and cost. If I had an unlimited budget all kids would be invited as I love kids and they bring great joy.

    I am making an exception to a friend from out of town who is making my wedding a family vacation, so I felt it would be wrong to NOT let her kids come...

  • Oddly enough, the only person who has complained so far about not being able to bring her child is someone we are not even inviting! This is a distant cousin of FI who has lived out of town a long time, and they haven't kept in touch. Her mother (who is invited) told us that [cousin's name I don't even remember] refuses to come without her baby. Um, that's fine.
  • We aren't inviting children because you wouldn't bring your kid to any other open bar/dancing night out so I don't want kids running around at my wedding. It's not a playground. Of course that's just my opinion. I'm the oldest of nine and they're all in the wedding so they'll be there but the little ones will be heading back to the hotel with a babysitter after dinner.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-invited-yes-or-no-why?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f28391ff-83e9-48c1-9b06-4f3f7edbb982Post:5d809986-e22d-4e04-9a6b-4bd6854c160c">Re: Kids Invited- Yes or No & Why</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are inviting the children of family and out of town guests, and those in the wedding party. Other than that, our reception is "Adult Only" (which isn't on the wedding invite but it is on the reception card because I know that I have to be VERY clear with some of the people I am inviting. Also, I really don't want to create more work for myself a few weeks before the wedding by having to call everyone that included their children and let them know in no uncertain terms that my single mother and I cannot afford to have their kids there.). Price is a HUGE part of it but also the reception is located on a rooftop, not exactly safe, and a few of the kids I know would be giant distractions to a nice sit down meal. Really, it's up to you and your FI what you want. My FI and I barely had to discuss it, we just knew what was right for us.
    Posted by ally91[/QUOTE]

    Just curious, are you concerned that by having broad guidelines of which children are invited, that you are opening yourself up to requests for exceptions from other people? How will you handle it if a non-famliy/non-bridal party/non-out-of-town guest says they don't want to leave their child home/can't find a babysitter/etc. and want to bring their kid? And then they say something like you already have kids attending, what's the difference? We always felt that it had to be an all-or-nothing decision for us because of this. I don't mean this in an argumentative way, I'm really just curious because we were worried about this ourselves.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-invited-yes-or-no-why?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f28391ff-83e9-48c1-9b06-4f3f7edbb982Post:080e93a6-feea-448e-9369-7aff5fd87b05">Re: Kids Invited- Yes or No & Why</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Kids Invited- Yes or No & Why : Just curious, are you concerned that by having broad guidelines of which children are invited, that you are opening yourself up to requests for exceptions from other people? How will you handle it if a non-famliy/non-bridal party/non-out-of-town guest says they don't want to leave their child home/can't find a babysitter/etc. and want to bring their kid? <strong>And then they say something like you already have kids attending, what's the difference?</strong> We always felt that it had to be an all-or-nothing decision for us because of this. I don't mean this in an argumentative way, I'm really just curious because we were worried about this ourselves.
    Posted by AndreaJulia[/QUOTE]

    That would be completely rude for them to say since its really none of their business. If you decide to invite kids, not invite kids, or only invite a few kids, thats your decision. You dont have to explain yourself. If someone does say that, I would just say "they are in the wedding party" & leave it at that.  Most people dont say anything because they understand that kids are involved in the WP & anybody involved in the WP must be invited to reception.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-invited-yes-or-no-why?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f28391ff-83e9-48c1-9b06-4f3f7edbb982Post:73e05b41-9ec6-432b-861d-ce5d6f24aeff">Re: Kids Invited- Yes or No & Why</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Kids Invited- Yes or No & Why : That would be completely rude for them to say since its really none of their business. If you decide to invite kids, not invite kids, or only invite a few kids, thats your decision. You dont have to explain yourself. If someone does say that, I would just say "they are in the wedding party" & leave it at that.  Most people dont say anything because they understand that kids are involved in the WP & anybody involved in the WP must be invited to reception.
    Posted by Sierra524[/QUOTE]

    If she said they were all in the WP, that simply wouldn't be true and people would find out she lied (she being the hypothetical person who said they are in the WP when they aren't). Yes, it would be rude to say, but everyone I know who's had a "no kids invited" wedding has had to handle a few people who feel their kid should be an exception. I'm just wondering if by opening up to 3 distinct types of kids (wedding party, out of town, and family), if people will see this as an opportunity to get their kid invited.
  • Mandaw0515Mandaw0515 member
    10 Comments
    edited February 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-invited-yes-or-no-why?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f28391ff-83e9-48c1-9b06-4f3f7edbb982Post:eb28d7c7-14c1-434e-816c-c74a8ea749b6">Re:Kids Invited Yes or No amp; Why</a>:
    [QUOTE]We aren't inviting children because you wouldn't bring your kid to any other open bar/dancing night out so I don't want kids running around at my wedding. It's not a playground. Of course that's just my opinion. I'm the oldest of nine and they're all in the wedding so they'll be there but the little ones will be heading back to the hotel with a babysitter after dinner.
    Posted by allychase[/QUOTE]


    abosolutely 100% agree
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-invited-yes-or-no-why?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f28391ff-83e9-48c1-9b06-4f3f7edbb982Post:080e93a6-feea-448e-9369-7aff5fd87b05">Re: Kids Invited- Yes or No & Why</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Kids Invited- Yes or No & Why : Just curious, are you concerned that by having broad guidelines of which children are invited, that you are opening yourself up to requests for exceptions from other people? <strong>How will you handle it if a non-famliy/non-bridal party/non-out-of-town guest says they don't want to leave their child home/can't find a babysitter/etc. and want to bring their kid? And then they say something like you already have kids attending, what's the difference?</strong> We always felt that it had to be an all-or-nothing decision for us because of this. I don't mean this in an argumentative way, I'm really just curious because we were worried about this ourselves.
    Posted by AndreaJulia[/QUOTE]

    "I'm sorry, but we are not able to accommodate your children. We hope you understand and we hope to see you at the wedding."  You in no way have to give a reason as to why their children are not invited. Kids are no different than adults when it comes to invitations. Would you say yes to someone bringing a friend along with their SO to your wedding?




  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I will say that  I side-eye any parent who thinks their child needs to be invited to every event they are invited to.       






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • ally91ally91 member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited February 2013
    Just curious, are you concerned that by having broad guidelines of which children are invited, that you are opening yourself up to requests for exceptions from other people? How will you handle it if a non-famliy/non-bridal party/non-out-of-town guest says they don't want to leave their child home/can't find a babysitter/etc. and want to bring their kid? And then they say something like you already have kids attending, what's the difference? We always felt that it had to be an all-or-nothing decision for us because of this. I don't mean this in an argumentative way, I'm really just curious because we were worried about this ourselves.
    Posted by AndreaJulia
    Fortunately, half of the bridal bridal party is family, and all of the OOT guests are family, and by OOT I mean they are in CA, FL or TX and we live and are getting married in VT. So I guess I could have narrowed it down to family and wedding party (too bad I can't post a Venn Diagram on here!). I'm hoping that situation doesn't come up, but thankfully because of where we drew the lines it will be obvious why certain children were invited and why others weren't. If someone does say something, I will let them know that only family and the children in the wedding party were invited in order to keep the number of guests down to fit budget and reception. If they ask why even those got invited I will tell them that it would have been rude to ask someone to be in the wedding party and not get invited to the reception, regardless of age, and I would also not expect people to literally travel across the country and not have a place for their child.
    My last resort is to say that keeping 5 children from climbing on the railing on the roof is easier than keeping 25 from doing it Wink.
    If they continue to pester me about it I will probably inform them in the most polite way I can manage that close to the wedding (or heaven forbid at the wedding) that it was ultimately my FI's and my decision and it's final.

    In the case of not being able to come, I would be sad that they couldn't make it, however I would understand. We had to make a call somewhere and now that we have we are sticking to it.
    Soon-to-be Mrs. Kent
  • No kids, because I'm a teacher and I see them EVERYDAY! lol. But seriously, we didn't want to deal with anything that might not be kid appropriate (sexy speeches and drunken relatives, lol) and I'm just not really into kids at this point in my life outside of work. The only people we know with kids are going to be 3-4 and will hang out at their parents (they are happy to have a night off, they told us) so that's my deal. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-invited-yes-or-no-why?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f28391ff-83e9-48c1-9b06-4f3f7edbb982Post:3961ad4d-c726-4bf6-8351-d648fe33fd45">Re: Kids Invited- Yes or No & Why</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Kids Invited- Yes or No & Why : If you know it is not proper, why are you doing it? Address the invite to the people who are invited, if people RSVP for their uninvited kids, call them apologize for the confusion, and explain that the invite wasn't meant to be extended for the kids.
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

    Because if I didnt add it to the reception card people would show up with kids and I'm not calling back 50 people who RSVP with them and telling them they can't bring them. I'd rather have it out there to begin with.
  • No kiddos for us either except my nephew and FI's 2 neices.  We asked my cousin if she wanted to bring her 2 year old son and she declined.  Other than that - adding all our friend's children brought our guest list to a number we couldn't afford.  
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-invited-yes-or-no-why?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f28391ff-83e9-48c1-9b06-4f3f7edbb982Post:4fc8a0cb-0595-42ab-97bb-e4acbd326515">Re: Kids Invited- Yes or No & Why</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Kids Invited- Yes or No & Why : Because if I didnt add it to the reception card people would show up with kids and I'm not calling back 50 people who RSVP with them and telling them they can't bring them. I'd rather have it out there to begin with.
    Posted by tmw7278[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>How many people are you inviting that you think 50 people will add on their kids? Don't you think if seeing that millions of other brides managed to not have kids at their wedding without putting "adults only" on their invitation, you could do the same? Or are you the first person to ever be in that situation in the history of time?

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  • H and I have some younger first cousins (as young as 6) so we invited all of them.  First cousins also had kids invited.  Many of them got sitters and had a date night.  If we cut off at 18 or 21, two of H's younger brothers wouldn't have made the cut.  We enjoyed having them there...they danced up a storm and took a lot of cute pictures with the disposable cameras that we put on each table.  It never really crossed my mind not to invite kids because there are many that are close to us.
    Anniversary
  • I personally am not a kid person, but it never even occured to me to not invite kids to the wedding. It's a family event, and they aren't strangers or second class citizens. These are people who may in the future participate in the web of support that is our family. If all they remember of us is that we didn't like them and want them around, why should they ever support us and include us later in life? Several people brought their children, and I think I saw them for all of three seconds, despite having a small wedding. I even picked a wedding date that allowed my new neice to have been born and ready for adorable pictures with us. She's showstealingly cute, and many of the nights pictures were of her, but I didnt feel threatened at all. She even had a dress with white in it. But it wasn't just my event, it was a family event. Excluding kids for reasons other than space and budget just makes me sad to think about.
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    Anniversary

  • No kids. Like many of the brides, it's not a statement on liking kids or not. I nannied for years, and I adore many of my friends' children.

    We're having our wedding at a country club.  In my mind, a country club isn't appropriate for children--it's a formal event where there will be alcohol. If we were having a backyard reception, maybe we'd have a different tune, but this was our decision.

    And while we've happily accommodated nursing mothers, I would be offended if anyone pushed back on our guest list. It's our wedding, and this is who we've chosen to invite. We can't please everyone, and for one night, I guess I don't think it's asking too much for people to accommodate our decision or to politely decline.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-invited-yes-or-no-why?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f28391ff-83e9-48c1-9b06-4f3f7edbb982Post:613d068d-93cf-404f-8746-2c011df8bae8">Re: Kids Invited- Yes or No & Why</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow, lots of brides shun kiddos!  LOL  Instead of putting no kids, would anyone let the parents make the decision to bring the kids or not? Now that my kids are older, I leave them home most of the time, by choice.  I think I would be pretty mad or insulted if someone made that decision for me, but I don't know.  I am always for a night out without the kids!!  But that is just me! 
    Posted by antibride2013[/QUOTE]

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    </div><div>This is how a lot of these posts make me feel lol.  I like the suggestions given to invite in circles but personally i would never deny toddlers or babies.  While having an adult only wedding is perfectly acceptable in society Im just not a fan and i dont have the heart to turn away young children.  Were doing the circles thing and making sure all children that need to come can.  I think the attitude that bothers me is the "my weddings going to be a fun night for adults"  like fun for who?  I know I wouldnt have fun I wouldnt want to go because it would just be too much of a hassle.  I think its just important to not delude yourself and realize not everyone will be happy or greatful for your night of fun for adults only.  This attitude also comes off as you telling me i need a night out without my kids which is not for anyone but me to decide.  Nothing grinds my gears more than people without kids making assumptions like these.  By all means have an adult only wedding youre not being rude or anything but just understand that not everyones going to read your invite and think o great date night!  Some people will be like o great another wedding i have to decline or o great I really wanted to go but now i have to start pumping/arranging for a babysitter/getting baby on a bottle/blahblahblah.  Budgets/distant relationships are another thing of course.  If I had a ten year old that wasnt invited who would have to have his own plate well then if he wasnt invited and you dont even have a relationship with him thats nbd.  But for my lo that was still ebfing who might eat solids but not enough where she had to be figured into the budget and your my bff then id be like wth man?  The whole omg a crying baby is going to ruin my day thing, I dont get it but hey to each his own again as long as you get that people cant always just drop their kids whever everyone wants them to.  I always like to offer this opinion just so people are prepared btw Im not trying to be a biiiiitch.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-invited-yes-or-no-why?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f28391ff-83e9-48c1-9b06-4f3f7edbb982Post:2db46fbf-3dd7-4199-baf2-bd62373ca148">Re: Kids Invited- Yes or No & Why</a>:
    [QUOTE]No kids. Like many of the brides, it's not a statement on liking kids or not. I nannied for years, and I adore many of my friends' children. We're having our wedding at a country club.  In my mind, a country club isn't appropriate for children--it's a formal event where there will be alcohol. If we were having a backyard reception, maybe we'd have a different tune, but this was our decision. And while we've happily accommodated nursing mothers, I would be offended if anyone pushed back on our guest list. It's our wedding, and this is who we've chosen to invite. We can't please everyone, and for one night, I guess I don't think it's asking too much for people to accommodate our decision or to politely decline.
    Posted by fuerst37[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>Im actually curious about this though Ive seen a lot of people talk about how since theres alcohol its not an appropriate place for kids.  Im not questioning your decision like I said to each his own but I am curious do people really feel like anywhere alcohol is served is inappropriate for kids?  Ive just never heard of that maybe its again just where im from but Ive never been to a dry wedding or a child free wedding so this is a new concept for me.  I would definitely be fine bringing my kids some place where alcohol was served.

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  • Yes. They are part of our family and friends. There are not a ton of them. We are getting married in Mexico and thought most would make a family vaca out of it. Shockingly though, the majority of our friends are leaving their kids with a relative for 4-7 days so they can have a romantic adult vacation!
    "Always be kinder than you think is necessary, for you never know what personal battles people are fighting."
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-invited-yes-or-no-why?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f28391ff-83e9-48c1-9b06-4f3f7edbb982Post:da516b16-75ef-415e-b267-034bc22419df">Re: Kids Invited- Yes or No & Why</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes. They are part of our family and friends. There are not a ton of them. We are getting married in Mexico and thought most would make a family vaca out of it. Shockingly though, the majority of our friends are leaving their kids with a relative for 4-7 days so they can have a romantic adult vacation!
    Posted by nicoleandersonmd[/QUOTE]
    Why is that so shocking?<div>Do parents attend their kids' sleepovers? </div><div>
    </div><div>My mom often had to go away on business trips. Sometimes my dad accompanied her. I'd be left with grandparents or family friends. It wasn't shocking and didn't leave me the least bit traumatized.</div><div>
    </div><div>Kids, obviously, are people. And just like the adult people, not all of them make it on to the guest list. The reason why is irrelevant. </div>
    image
  • edited February 2013
    Some of the posts in this thread are absolutely ridiculous. I find it absurd that people are essentially shaming those people who chose to not invite kids to their reception. What business is it of yours? People harping on treating kids like second class citizens--OK, so that implies you want to treat kids like equals to adults.

    So by that logic, why should they be given different circumstances than adults? I didn't invite adults I was not close to or did not know well. Why should I invite children I'm not close to or don't know well? See how your logic does not prove what you want it to? I agree children are equal, which is why I did not give them special privileges I wouldn't have given my adult guests. I highly doubt anyone would question "Why didn't you invite your co-worker Bob?" so why the need to question why someone didn't invite kids?

    Look, not every event in life is going to be kid-friendly. People who choose to have kids have to live with that reality. It means, as a parent, you may sometimes choose to not attend an event because your kids weren't invited or it wasn't an appropriate place for your kids. You may have to choose whether you want to get a sitter or not attend said event. That is part of being a parent. Choosing to reproduce does not give you the right to tote your children everywhere you go, including weddings and other events.

    The line that "Well it's a family affair and they are family" doesn't hold much weight to me. There were many people who are part of our families that we did not invite because we never talk to them or see them, so why invite them to our wedding? Same rule applies for children. I also see absolutely nothing wrong with choosing to have your wedding be an adult party and leave it at that. Absolutely no reason to defend your decision.

    Oh and before anyone says I am just biased, I actually DID invite all the children of our family and friends to our wedding. That was our CHOICE. I find it absurd and pretty offensive that people on here are essentially getting shamed because of a CHOICE they made to have an adult-only event.


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    Vacation
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-invited-yes-or-no-why?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f28391ff-83e9-48c1-9b06-4f3f7edbb982Post:d50aa1da-de00-4d0f-95d2-944fbea12927">Re: Kids Invited- Yes or No & Why</a>:
    [QUOTE]Some of the posts in this thread are absolutely ridiculous. I find it absurd that people are essentially shaming those people who chose to not invite kids to their reception. What business is it of yours? People harping on treating kids like second class citizens--OK, so that implies you want to treat kids like equals to adults. So by that logic, why should they be given different circumstances than adults? I didn't invite adults I was not close to or did not know well. Why should I invite children I'm not close to or don't know well? See how your logic does not prove what you want it to? I agree children are equal, which is why I did not give them special privileges I wouldn't have given my adult guests. I highly doubt anyone would question "Why didn't you invite your co-worker Bob?" so why the need to question why someone didn't invite kids? Look, not every event in life is going to be kid-friendly. People who choose to have kids have to live with that reality. It means, as a parent, you may sometimes choose to not attend an event because your kids weren't invited or it wasn't an appropriate place for your kids. You may have to choose whether you want to get a sitter or not attend said event. That is part of being a parent. Choosing to reproduce does not give you the right to tote your children everywhere you go, including weddings and other events. The line that "Well it's a family affair and they are family" doesn't hold much weight to me. There were many people who are part of our families that we did not invite because we never talk to them or see them, so why invite them to our wedding? Same rule applies for children. I also see absolutely nothing wrong with choosing to have your wedding be an adult party and leave it at that. Absolutely no reason to defend your decision. Oh and before anyone says I am just biased, I actually DID invite all the children of our family and friends to our wedding. That was our CHOICE. I find it absurd and pretty offensive that people on here are essentially getting shamed because of a CHOICE they made to have an adult-only event.
    Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

    Thank you for saving me from having to type out a long, less eloquent reply. I agree with all of this. Some people choose to invite children and that's totally fine. Others, like myself, choose not to. There's nothing wrong with that.




  • Ditto Summer. Full disclosure here, I do not have children. DH and I do want kids though, in a few more years. If we should be so blessed, I'm praying I don't end up with the sense of entitlement some PPs have displayed in this thread.
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