Using TheKnot.com RSVP tool

i3rooke

I think the RSVP tool on the website is a nice tool, however, I am wondering how others used it for RSVP. Is there a way to do dinner RSVP as well or are people just using it as a reception RSVP? I thought maybe I would put on the website "For Reception Only" and putting on Dinner Invites "Please RSVP for dinner by sending in your dinner card." I am just worried for those who aren't invited to dinner, because saying "For Reception Only" could be a "Oh yea, I didn't get invited to Dinner" thing. Any advice would be appreciated!

squirrly

Are you having a tiered reception?  Please don't do that.  The RSVP tool is the least of your worries.  Tiered receptions are really, really not cool.

opalsky007

I agree. I would be very offended by not being invited to the reception, and I'm sure I'd find out about it, RSVP tool or not.

danieliza1127

The reception includes dinner.  There aren't two events.  You shouldn't be inviting some people to dinner and then some people later just for dancing.  It's all one event.

Stackeye210

The RSVP tool won't work for that because it doesn't think that's a good idea.  Everyone should be invited to dinner. 

FutureMrsTR

Your tiered reception idea makes you sound like an rsvp tool.

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_using-theknotcom-rsvp-tool?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f7543a30-1e9e-4fa9-a9f1-d9a1d8b8240dPost:0f1df93b-988b-4aad-af14-16dfc55b9d7b">Re: Using TheKnot.com RSVP tool</a>:
[QUOTE]Your tiered reception idea makes you sound like an rsvp tool.
Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

Ba-ZING!

Rosie109

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_using-theknotcom-rsvp-tool?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f7543a30-1e9e-4fa9-a9f1-d9a1d8b8240dPost:7615d8a5-019e-4d44-accb-f92eb7270eb9">Using TheKnot.com RSVP tool</a>:
[QUOTE]I think the RSVP tool on the website is a nice tool, however, I am wondering how others used it for RSVP. Is there a way to do dinner RSVP as well or are people just using it as a reception RSVP? I thought maybe I would put on the website "For Reception Only" and putting on Dinner Invites "Please RSVP for dinner by sending in your dinner card." <strong>I am just worried for those who aren't invited to dinner, because saying "For Reception Only" could be a "Oh yea, I didn't get invited to Dinner" thing. </strong>Any advice would be appreciated!
Posted by i3rooke[/QUOTE]

Wait, so its not a "oh I yea, I didn't get invited to Dinner" thing? Because.. IT IS.

LDYGTR13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_using-theknotcom-rsvp-tool?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f7543a30-1e9e-4fa9-a9f1-d9a1d8b8240dPost:0f1df93b-988b-4aad-af14-16dfc55b9d7b">Re: Using TheKnot.com RSVP tool</a>:
[QUOTE]Your tiered reception idea makes you sound like an rsvp tool.
Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

Ouch, OP...better run to the emergency room after that BURN!!! *insert rimshot here*

Haha, TR, I <3 you.

Oh, OP...just say no to the tiered reception - feed the folks, c'mon now.

i3rooke

Wow, I was just asking for some advice. I didn't realize that it would bring about insults. 

pumpkinpumpkin

Insults? Who insulted you?

Celles

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_using-theknotcom-rsvp-tool?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f7543a30-1e9e-4fa9-a9f1-d9a1d8b8240dPost:15e2e03d-4f01-4cfd-9693-db553798ff01">Re: Using TheKnot.com RSVP tool</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow, I was just asking for some advice. I didn't realize that it would bring about insults. 
Posted by i3rooke[/QUOTE]

You're getting advice:  "Don't do a tiered reception." 

The advice you need is better than the advice you want in this case.

i3rooke

The advice is fine, i appreciate knowing that people do not typically do this. It is customary in my family to have just immediate family members for dinner, such as grandparents and aunts and uncles. While my family is used to this some friends may not be. I understand that I have to be sensitive about this and I am sorry, I guess I just did not realize that this must not be customary outside my family. Just the next time someone ask a question, it would be nice not to be called a tool. 

heartxsongs

i3rooke, it is a good idea to read through some posts on a board before posting on it to get a feel for the atmosphere.  Some boards on the Knot have friendlier regulars (not to say that E doesn't have friendly people of course), while others are not afraid to be blunt.

In the Etiquette board, if you post something that is considered improper etiquette, you will likely be told so rather bluntly.  Next time you post, just be prepared for responses that won't necessarily be to your liking.  You can't control people's opinions on an internet forum. 

Sorry it offended you, but I feel the same way as the previous posters.  You might have better turn-out for your reception if it will involve food, since you said your friends might not know the custom in your family.  I don't think I'd recommend online RSVP tools for a tiered reception.  Paper RSVPs would likely be better in this case.

ETA:  If you look at the FAQ sticky, #7 would show you the overall opinion of the posters here.

wadingmoose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_using-theknotcom-rsvp-tool?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f7543a30-1e9e-4fa9-a9f1-d9a1d8b8240dPost:c6746188-1a94-4f9a-bf76-c8f316057ca8">Re: Using TheKnot.com RSVP tool</a>:
[QUOTE]The advice is fine, i appreciate knowing that people do not typically do this. It is customary in my family to have just immediate family members for dinner, such as grandparents and aunts and uncles. While my family is used to this some friends may not be. I understand that I have to be sensitive about this and I am sorry, I guess I just did not realize that this must not be customary outside my family. Just the next time someone ask a question, it would be nice not to be called a tool. 
Posted by i3rooke[/QUOTE]


Customary or not, it's rude.  Really. Perhaps it's time to change the custom so future generations of your family don't insult friends and extended family.

squirrly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_using-theknotcom-rsvp-tool?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f7543a30-1e9e-4fa9-a9f1-d9a1d8b8240dPost:bb86c4b0-0a64-4701-9219-150499e127a3">Re: Using TheKnot.com RSVP tool</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Using TheKnot.com RSVP tool : Customary or not, it's rude.  Really. Perhaps it's time to change the custom so future generations of your family don't insult friends and extended family.
Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

Yes, this.  Just because it's been done before doesn't make it the right choice this time.  Try to find a way to host everyone equally.

mandysmear

Why even invite them then?  I don't get it.  So you're not stuck dancing on the dance floor alone because your aunts and uncles are too old to bust a move to Kanye West and Lady Gaga?  Or is for the presents? 

alixzafiris

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_using-theknotcom-rsvp-tool?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f7543a30-1e9e-4fa9-a9f1-d9a1d8b8240dPost:c3794e02-66fe-4dbf-948c-1aac2dc737ea">Re: Using TheKnot.com RSVP tool</a>:
[QUOTE]Why even invite them then?  I don't get it.  So you're not stuck dancing on the dance floor alone because your aunts and uncles are too old to bust a move to Kanye West and Lady Gaga? <strong> Or is for the presents? </strong>
Posted by mandysmear[/QUOTE]

Ding ding ding ding!

i3rooke

Thanks for all the responses. I really had no idea that this was not customary. I have talked with my Fiance and decided to invite everyone to everything. When it is something everyone around you has always done I guess you just expect its normal. On another note, I was really not doing it to be rude to anyone or for presents. I love my friends and family, but I was just taking family advice. Thanks again!