Buyer's remorse?

laurenpm

Ok, so FI and I met with our caterer when we first got engaged.  We liked that she was blunt and honest with us so we decided to book. BAM. done. $200 deposit given. Mind you we had never met with anyone else.  

Then more recently I've been trying to look around for reviews anywhere online of her food/service.  I can't find anything really--there are maybe 2 reviews for a company that has been around for 15 years or so.  That made me a little uneasy because I like to read those to get a real idea of the company/person you're dealing with.  

Then I email her the other day to ask about a tasting before the wedding.  We don't get a tasting.  I also ask when my final numbers need to be submitted to her.  She says 6 weeks before the event..which seems a bit ridiculous to me.  

I can't tell if I'm just being sensitive and uneasy because the wedding stuff is picking up the pace now or if this is something I should be worried about and maybe start looking into other options.  

Any thoughts?

J&K10910

I wouldn't get food from a place for a big event if I couldn't taste it before.  I also don't think I would go with someone who needs numbers 6 weeks before the wedding.

Honestly, $200 isn't much of a deposit for a caterer, IMO, and I'd eat it and try to find someone else, especially if you're not comfortable with these things.

scottswife1106

I would be uneasy too. How do you not get a tasting and have to give a number count 6 weeks before the wedding? Did you explain to her that you won't have all of your RSVP's in until 4 weeks out? Where did you find this woman?

baystateapple

I would be very uneasy about a caterer that doesn't provide a tasting.

If you can afford to lose the $200, I would try to find a different caterer.

laurenclaire1386

I would insist on a tasting and go from there. If you like the food, great, pay the rest of the money. If you don't, you'll have to eat your deposit, but at least you know you didn't make a mistake with a pretty important part of your wedding. As for needing numbers six weeks out, that IS ridiculous. She can't even buy most of the food she'll probably need at six weeks out. My mom was a caterer and has done a few weddings, and there's just no way in hell someone needs numbers at 6 weeks out.

NotColloquial

I agree, I wouldn't risk it. Who doesn't give you a tasting? That's insane. And the whole point of a final count is so they can order the food they need... If she is ordering your food 6 weeks out, I'd be really concerned. It just seems sketchy.

Stackeye210

What does your contract say about final numbers and tastings?

Mrs.B6302007

$200 isn't too bad of a loss.  I would meet some other caterers.  You NEED to taste the food.

Beachy730

Ditto about the tasting.  I agree with the others that $200 isn't that big of a deal if you have to walk away from it.  She might even offer a tasting once you tell her that you have decided to go with a caterer that will let you taste the food first.

As for the final count, do they mean the "offical" final count that you'll be charged for?  Our venue wanted an invite estimate at about 6 weeks out just to start their planning, then an estimated guest total at 2 weeks out.  We didn't have to give the number that we were officially charged for until 3 days before the wedding.

Birdie1483

I agree with PP. 6 weeks is a crazy amount of time to need to final numbers.

But really, if you kept her and found on the day of the wedding that her food tasted like shiit, you might think it would have been worth $200 to go somewhere else. Sometimes it's easier to be safer than sorry.

MelissaAnne88

Our caterer (for the rehearsal dinner) didn't provide a tasting because she is just an individual that works out of her home. And she was amazing!

However, she needed my final count one week before. Six weeks is completely ridiculous.

katieisawesome

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_buyers-remorse?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f7cd36bc-fd5c-4eaf-9efd-f2cecbc3ecd5Post:6af7e84e-f42d-4a9a-afd6-d79344150001">Buyer's remorse?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok, so FI and I met with our caterer when we first got engaged.  We liked that she was blunt and honest with us so we decided to book. BAM. done. $200 deposit given. Mind you we had never met with anyone else.   Then more recently I've been trying to look around for reviews anywhere online of her food/service.  I can't find anything really--there are maybe 2 reviews for a company that has been around for 15 years or so.  That made me a little uneasy because I like to read those to get a real idea of the company/person you're dealing with.   Then I email her the other day to ask about a tasting before the wedding.  We don't get a tasting.  I also ask when my final numbers need to be submitted to her.  She says 6 weeks before the event..which seems a bit ridiculous to me.   I can't tell if I'm just being sensitive and uneasy because the wedding stuff is picking up the pace now or if this is something I should be worried about and maybe start looking into other options.   Any thoughts?
Posted by laurenpm[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>You put a deposit down without actually tasting the food???  I'd suck up the deposit and go elsewhere and consider it a lesson learned.  Any caterer worth jack is going to let you TASTE their food.

</div>

laurenclaire1386

FWIW, I didn't do a tasting of the actual food we got. Our venue has a restaurant and H and I ate at the restaurant the day we toured the venue. We never tasted the food we picked for the wedding beforehand, and it was all awesome. We probably wouldn't have done that had we not eaten at the restaurant though.

laurenpm

Well here's where I'm an idiot.  We don't actually have a contract.  I gave her a $200 date hold deposit and we would work out the contract closer to the date once we had decided on menu options and specifics.  I didn't think that was too weird until I started to see some other caterer's policies. 

I'm totally kicking myself for not being more informed and prepared.  I'm thinking to ease my mind it will probably be best for me to check out some other options.  Like you all have said...it's only $200, I can stand to eat that. 

jemmini6

Agree with PP's.  These are things I would have asked before giving any kind of deposit, but just consider it a lesson learned (and put them on the list of questions to ask any other caterers you talk to).  $200 is a pretty easy amount to walk away from and I'd start looking at other caterers now.  It definitely sucks, but I'd rather be safe than sorry....

baystateapple

I don't know how common it is to not allow clients a tasting first, but I know it does happen, because it happened to BIL and SIL last summer.  Their caterer did not provide a tasting, so they had to pick the menu just by description.  I don't know how they did it.  The food was great the day of the wedding, but I would have been too nervous to leave it to chance.

ETA: Ouch, Lauren.  Well, lesson learned.  Get EVERYTHING in writing before you put any money down. 

ETA again: I'm an idiot who put the wrong name in.

jessicabessica

I would first look at your contract to make sure what she's telling you is actually what you agreed to when you signed.  If it is and you still want to work with her, try to push her to give you a tasting and change her final count deadline.  (If those things aren't in your contract, hold her to the contract or tell her she's breaching the contract.) 

I would be on the lookout for a new caterer.  You might find that with differences in pricing, you won't end up eating that much of the deposit.  It would be worth $200 to me to get to taste the food beforehand and have a more reasonable deadline (we wouldn't sign until we tasted the caterer's food).

ETA: Nevermind, you don't have a contract.  About the tastings--for our reception, we ate in the venue's restaurant, but we didn't try our actual food, like LC said.  For our day before BBQ, we went to the caterer's home (she works out of her home), and she cooked us burgers, hot dogs, and the side dish and dessert choices we were deciding between. 

laurenpm

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_buyers-remorse?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f7cd36bc-fd5c-4eaf-9efd-f2cecbc3ecd5Post:853ebcf0-f6bf-46e2-9546-39c8a3c9af14">Re: Buyer's remorse?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ditto about the tasting.  I agree with the others that $200 isn't that big of a deal if you have to walk away from it.  She might even offer a tasting once you tell her that you have decided to go with a caterer that will let you taste the food first. <strong>As for the final count, do they mean the "offical" final count that you'll be charged for? </strong> Our venue wanted an invite estimate at about 6 weeks out just to start their planning, then an estimated guest total at 2 weeks out.  We didn't have to give the number that we were officially charged for until 3 days before the wedding.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]
She said that after the 6 week count my number can go up but not down.  I'm assuming that would be considered the final-ish at least?

mica178

If you can afford to lose the $200 deposit and the caterer is not budging on the tasting/final number date details, cut your losses.

I didn't taste the food until after I signed, but I had read great reviews, and I was prepared to cut my losses if the food wasn't great at the tasting.  But if I hadn't done the tasting, I would probably have chosen different things off the menu, and the tasting really helped me figure out what food the chef did best.  

Oh, and asking for final numbers 6 weeks in advance is ridiculous.  She can ask for an approximate number at that tmie, but she should not set the number in stone until closer to the date, 2 weeks before is more than appropriate for her to finalize food orders and staff schedules.  

Beachy730

We didn't do a tasting until after we had already signed a contract and put down a deposit, and we actually picked out our menu first and did the tasting of what we picked (could have changed foods if we wanted after).  H and I had been to 3 events within a year at our venue though so we were pretty aware of their food quality and taste.

Stackeye210

Oh yea, we didn't do a tasting either.  We saw the food, but never got to taste it.  The food was amazing.

baystateapple

We signed before we tasted the food, but that was because a) our reception was held at a hotel and they only had in-house catering, and b) H had been there before for dinner with his parents and vouched that the food was delicious.  Our tasting was about four months before the wedding, and I wasn't disappointed.  We gave our final count the day before the wedding.

kayladee87

We didn't have a tasting beforehand;; however, she gave us contact information of who used her in the past, so we could contact them to get references.  Maybe you can ask her for references before you go looking for a totally different caterer.  If she doesn't provide that, I'd be a little skeptical and would start looking for someone new.

aMrsin09

I'd say in this case your lack of contract could be a blessing.
You'll only be out the $200.  Some contracts make you pay xx amount of what the bill would have been if you back out.

b0710

I would definitely walk away from the caterer.  Everything about that would make me nervous.  We are using a caterer for our wedding that we have previously worked for on the side and he offered us a tasting.  I thought that was pretty funny.  On that same note though, a hotel that we did some work for would sometimes tells us with as little as 3 days before what food he needed.  She in no way needs 6 weeks in advance.  Maybe setting your menu 6 weeks in advance, but not a final headcount.  I would definitely start shopping around.  Good luck!

Marrin713

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_buyers-remorse?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f7cd36bc-fd5c-4eaf-9efd-f2cecbc3ecd5Post:36f9dd35-171e-497c-9843-3fdcbab2dba7">Re: Buyer's remorse?</a>:
[QUOTE]I wouldn't get food from a place for a big event if I couldn't taste it before.  I also don't think I would go with someone who needs numbers 6 weeks before the wedding. <strong>Honestly, $200 isn't much of a deposit for a caterer, IMO, and I'd eat it</strong> and try to find someone else, especially if you're not comfortable with these things.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

No pun intended? ;)

OP - sounds like you've already decided to look around more.  Good idea.  We didn't taste anything for our reception either, but the golf club has a restaurant and we've eaten there before as well as attended other functions so we had a pretty good idea.

laurenpm

Thanks everybody! You all pretty much confirmed what I was already thinking.  Big time lesson learned on my part.  *super face palm* 

hlq2011

I mostly agree with everyone else, but I wanted to add something.

Our rehearsal dinner is at a restaurant, and they didn't include a tasting (as anticipated).  We went to dinner ourselves there to try the food; perhaps she will do a tasting for you if you offer to pay for it?  I know it's not ideal, but if the food is good and you are happy with it, and it comes in under $200, you might save yourself in the long run.

I do think the deadline for a count is ridiculous, but if I were you I'd give her (if you decide to stay) a ridiculously low minimum and up it after the fact, as long as she doesn't put a maximum on how much you can increase it.

Just a thought.

kellyb1487

Our Venue did the catering and we had a tasting. The tasting actually cost $ (I think like $50 or so per person) but if we decided to sign the contract, then that money was put towards the deposit.

Brandiewine11

I would move on. I actually didn't book one of our top choice venues b/c they refused to do a tasting and said that their "reputation should stand on its own." 

We had to sign our contract before the tastings, but there are so many options we'll be able to move our menu around if we don't like something. We do have to pay $15/person but thats ok IMO.

Now you know what kinds of questions to ask...I'd try finding someone else.

mkrupar

Signing a contract before a tasting is actually common in hotel/resort policies. They're not going to prepare food, ie: spending their money, before having confirmation that this event is actually going to take place.

That being said, once a contract is signed they usually do tastings. I've seen tastings done as far out as 8 months and as close in as 6 weeks. You should talk to your caterer and at least see if she'll concede on the rsvp deadline, ask for some people you can call that used her in the past, and if she'll let you, pay for a tasting. I wouldn't give up on her just yet. But if she won't do any of those three things I would definitely find someone else.