Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist?

andy71781

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_multiple-little-girls-wedding-am-being-elitist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ff7505d9-150d-45e6-ad90-da75c09ef704Post:ec090ede-3fe1-4789-a15f-a80ad7a36292">Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist?</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't ask the other 3 to be flowergirls - my fiance asked his sisters about their 2 daughters, and my MOH's daughter was originally (and still may) play another role other than flower girl.  I don't really know of any roles that they can play other than flower girls, though.  My MOH's daughter is the oldest one (4 years old) and may be able to pass out programs.  Ideas or suggestions on that front would be greatly appreciated - if I could find an alternate role for the other 3, that would solve my problem completely. 
Posted by hypothesis125[/QUOTE]

what about guests?  Not everybody has to be invovled in the wedding.

Rosie109

Wait were you really being a biitch to Snippy?

ohwhynot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_multiple-little-girls-wedding-am-being-elitist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ff7505d9-150d-45e6-ad90-da75c09ef704Post:ec090ede-3fe1-4789-a15f-a80ad7a36292">Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist?</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't ask the other 3 to be flowergirls - my fiance asked his sisters about their 2 daughters, and my MOH's daughter was originally (and still may) play another role other than flower girl.  I don't really know of any roles that they can play other than flower girls, though.  My MOH's daughter is the oldest one (4 years old) and may be able to pass out programs.  Ideas or suggestions on that front would be greatly appreciated - if I could find an alternate role for the other 3, that would solve my problem completely. 
Posted by hypothesis125[/QUOTE]

How about no role at all?  Honestly, they are under 4 years old - this does NOT matter to them.  Just have your daughter be a flower girl (or not - she is kind of young for it) and be done with it. 

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_multiple-little-girls-wedding-am-being-elitist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ff7505d9-150d-45e6-ad90-da75c09ef704Post:ec090ede-3fe1-4789-a15f-a80ad7a36292">Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist?</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't ask the other 3 to be flowergirls - my fiance asked his sisters about their 2 daughters, and my MOH's daughter was originally (and still may) play another role other than flower girl.  I don't really know of any roles that they can play other than flower girls, though.  <strong>My MOH's daughter is the oldest one (4 years old) and may be able to pass out programs</strong>.  Ideas or suggestions on that front would be greatly appreciated - if I could find an alternate role for the other 3, that would solve my problem completely. 
Posted by hypothesis125[/QUOTE]

A 4 year old passing out programs sounds like an awful idea - like seriously, someone who is barely older than a toddler is not old enough to do that job. Sorry.

I still don't get why a) your FI is so opposed to your child somehow looking different and b) why the two of you can't come to some kind of agreement on this. I thought sep's idea of using the same dress with a sash was a good one.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_multiple-little-girls-wedding-am-being-elitist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ff7505d9-150d-45e6-ad90-da75c09ef704Post:1fe78ca0-0744-4d58-acd0-d94ab5ecbcb9">Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist?</a>:
[QUOTE]Wait were you really being a biitch to Snippy?
Posted by Rosie109[/QUOTE]

No I was talking about Marcia Cross and the Princesses who did all kids.  I've never heard of that or get why people do it. 

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_multiple-little-girls-wedding-am-being-elitist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ff7505d9-150d-45e6-ad90-da75c09ef704Post:f400b3cf-f019-4725-83f9-ca72bd1beb18">Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist? : Snippy's H's coworker thinks her face looks like a shoe.  
Posted by NCV2[/QUOTE]

Ahhh, and now it all makes sense :)

Rosie109

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_multiple-little-girls-wedding-am-being-elitist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ff7505d9-150d-45e6-ad90-da75c09ef704Post:28e2177f-ba2d-4404-aad5-bf4d0a8c4be2">Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist? : No I was talking about Marcia Cross and the Princesses who did all kids.  I've never heard of that or get why people do it. 
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

<div>Not you! Gosh this shoe princess thing has me so confused. </div>

sarah0725

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_multiple-little-girls-wedding-am-being-elitist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ff7505d9-150d-45e6-ad90-da75c09ef704Post:36570d3b-e3d8-4cf2-b7ee-ed267e019721">Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist?</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay, after seeing this (while Googling inspiration for Sarah#'s FI!), everything else seems sane. I am disqualifying myself from dispensing wedding-related advice for the rest of the day.  Or until I get bored.  Whichever.
Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]

Oh my gosh, that is funny. Well, maybe after I show him that, he'll realize that putting little dresses on Abby and Jelly Bean isn't all that weird. :)

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_multiple-little-girls-wedding-am-being-elitist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ff7505d9-150d-45e6-ad90-da75c09ef704Post:a8f0918b-883c-4230-b93f-17c98c5d7768">Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist? : Not you! Gosh this shoe princess thing has me so confused. 
Posted by Rosie109[/QUOTE]

Make that 2 of us.

sarah0725

There is something weird about the fact that your FI is going around asking other little girls to be in the wedding without consulting you first, and then being adamant about not wanting your daughter to stand out. It sounds like you need to have a general talk with him about how your daughter is going to be his daughter, too.

Bubbalub

Wait, so the other little girls don't even have roles? They aren't FGs yet your fiance asked to have his nieces in the wedding? What was his plan? Jeebus, this just sounds like a clusterfuck.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_multiple-little-girls-wedding-am-being-elitist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ff7505d9-150d-45e6-ad90-da75c09ef704Post:ec090ede-3fe1-4789-a15f-a80ad7a36292">Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist?</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't ask the other 3 to be flowergirls - my fiance asked his sisters about their 2 daughters, and my MOH's daughter was originally (and still may) play another role other than flower girl.  I don't really know of any roles that they can play other than flower girls, though.  My MOH's daughter is the oldest one (4 years old) and may be able to pass out programs.  Ideas or suggestions on that front would be greatly appreciated - if I could find an alternate role for the other 3, that would solve my problem completely. 
Posted by hypothesis125[/QUOTE]

I think your bigger concern here is getting on the same page with your FI about the wedding.  It sounds like he just asked these 2 girls to be FG's without talking about the WP with you first.  You should make decisions together before asking anyone else.

Y I Oughta

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_multiple-little-girls-wedding-am-being-elitist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ff7505d9-150d-45e6-ad90-da75c09ef704Post:88f07ac0-c5b8-4726-a4bd-50c9ff30c1cd">Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist?</a>:
[QUOTE]Just don't make her a mini-bride with that embellished ivory dress, okay?  Those creep me the hell out.  :)
Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]

This. And maybe they could all wear the same dress, but your daughter could have a special sash or different flower basket than the other girls. Maybe give her red rose petals and the others white. I'm sure everyone that matters already knows she is your daughter

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_multiple-little-girls-wedding-am-being-elitist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ff7505d9-150d-45e6-ad90-da75c09ef704Post:4124552b-8029-4ac5-9406-fb568324c12a">Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist?</a>:
[QUOTE]There is something weird about the fact that your FI is going around asking other little girls to be in the wedding without consulting you first, and then being adamant about not wanting your daughter to stand out. It sounds like you need to have a general talk with him about how your daughter is going to be his daughter, too.
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

You beat me to it. 

sep72fendr

Aw thanks emily lol

OP- if the children haven't been asked yet, just leave it to your daughter. if you wanted them to have roles because you were planning an "adult only wedding" then you are SOL and have caused your own dramallama.

STOP. Back up and talk to your Fi about his reasonings behind his neices, and talk to your MOH about it too in regards to her child.

The children in your WP should have significance to you (like being your daughter!)  and they shouldn't just be in your WP to be props for your pictures so it looks cute.

Snippylynn

LOL!!  Okay.  My H's coworkers think that the Swedish princess' face looks like a shoe.  

Even having been there for that discussion, I was totally lost. HA!!

mkrupar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_multiple-little-girls-wedding-am-being-elitist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ff7505d9-150d-45e6-ad90-da75c09ef704Post:a0e703af-db6e-483d-9547-4b186d575576">Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist? : buh?  that's a little ridiculous.
Posted by laladypoet[/QUOTE]

eh...when I read the post all I got was "My daughter, My daughter, My daughter" Without regards to the other little girls who have already been asked to be something, but not quite FGs in the wedding. Sounded bratty to me. Oh well.

mkrupar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_multiple-little-girls-wedding-am-being-elitist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ff7505d9-150d-45e6-ad90-da75c09ef704Post:df59f64b-8094-4cca-b41c-32665e04ec3a">Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist?</a>:
[QUOTE]LOL!!  Okay.  My H's coworkers think that the Swedish princess' face looks like a shoe. :D  Even having been there for that discussion, I was totally lost. HA!!
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

I had to google her to see. What kind of shoe? I was completely confuzzled by the Shoe Princess

salt78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_multiple-little-girls-wedding-am-being-elitist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ff7505d9-150d-45e6-ad90-da75c09ef704Post:6021f801-1ed7-4723-81cc-a4b88ef2f37c">Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist? : eh...when I read the post all I got was "My daughter, My daughter, My daughter" Without regards to the other little girls who have already been asked to be something, but not quite FGs in the wedding. Sounded bratty to me. Oh well.
Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]

<div>She's not the one that asked those other girls. I don't see why it would be bratty for her to want her daughter to be the flower girl. </div><div>
</div><div>I seriously think you should just keep it to the one flower girl, OP.</div>

sarah0725

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_multiple-little-girls-wedding-am-being-elitist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ff7505d9-150d-45e6-ad90-da75c09ef704Post:6021f801-1ed7-4723-81cc-a4b88ef2f37c">Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist? : eh...when I read the post all I got was "My daughter, My daughter, My daughter" Without regards to the other little girls who have already been asked to be something, but not quite FGs in the wedding. Sounded bratty to me. Oh well.
Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]

If the oldest of the girls is four, I have a feeling that the rest of them are mostly concerned about wiping their boogers on the wall and wondering where their next cookie is coming from, and it's mostly the adults who are being silly about this. From the combination of these two posts, I sympathize with OP and think her FI is being pretty insensitive.

Snippylynn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_multiple-little-girls-wedding-am-being-elitist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ff7505d9-150d-45e6-ad90-da75c09ef704Post:304202c6-7343-4683-94e3-56397b5e08c3">Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist? : I had to google her to see. What kind of shoe? I was completely confuzzled by the Shoe Princess
Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]

*sigh*  It's because she has a heavy jaw.  Like a shoe.  It's strong on the bottom. lol

laladypoet

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_multiple-little-girls-wedding-am-being-elitist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ff7505d9-150d-45e6-ad90-da75c09ef704Post:ec090ede-3fe1-4789-a15f-a80ad7a36292">Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist?</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't ask the other 3 to be flowergirls - my fiance asked his sisters about their 2 daughters, and my MOH's daughter was originally (and still may) play another role other than flower girl.  I don't really know of any roles that they can play other than flower girls, though.  My MOH's daughter is the oldest one (4 years old) and may be able to pass out programs.  Ideas or suggestions on that front would be greatly appreciated - if I could find an alternate role for the other 3, that would solve my problem completely. 
Posted by hypothesis125[/QUOTE]
if you're doing the sand ceremony, two of them could carry the two different colors of sand down to the front.
or, since the flower girl goes just before the bride, you could have two of them carry your train down the aisle.

laladypoet

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_multiple-little-girls-wedding-am-being-elitist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ff7505d9-150d-45e6-ad90-da75c09ef704Post:8fcdf15e-2b86-4935-b3e7-1d85f700d5fb">Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist? : A 4 year old passing out programs sounds like an awful idea - like seriously, someone who is barely older than a toddler is not old enough to do that job. Sorry. I still don't get why a) your FI is so opposed to your child somehow looking different and b) why the two of you can't come to some kind of agreement on this. I thought sep's idea of using the same dress with a sash was a good one.
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]
all of this. your fiance needs to chillax on that.

MattsPenguin

My friend had her four nieces be the flower girls and ring bearers.  The two oldest (6 and 8 years old) were the ring bearers, with the other two (2 and 4 years old) being the flower girls.  It was actually really cute, especially since all four were little red heads.

But again, they were 4 girls very close to the bride.  Whereas for our wedding, I am having two ring bearers (my nephews) and zero flower girls. 

I think you need to talk to your FI about the role of little girls in your wedding. 

laladypoet

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_multiple-little-girls-wedding-am-being-elitist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ff7505d9-150d-45e6-ad90-da75c09ef704Post:6021f801-1ed7-4723-81cc-a4b88ef2f37c">Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist? : eh...when I read the post all I got was "My daughter, My daughter, My daughter" Without regards to the other little girls who have already been asked to be something, but not quite FGs in the wedding. Sounded bratty to me. Oh well.
Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]
if she'd been the one to ask the other girls to be in the wedding, then maybe. but sounds like she only wants her daughter in it, which I understand. that's what I'd want too.
plus, I mean, she's handled this relatively well.

Moneypenny424

The clear solution is a cage match for the 4 girls.  Winner is the flower girl.

laladypoet

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_multiple-little-girls-wedding-am-being-elitist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ff7505d9-150d-45e6-ad90-da75c09ef704Post:4f042b37-10c5-4ade-a02c-e2bde9587812">Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Multiple little girls in wedding - am I being elitist? : All that tells me is that you're too big of a bitch to have any adult friends.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]
where am I? what is this about? LINK?

laladypoet

the law states that you have to be a minimum of 5 years old to participate in a cage match. so the clear solution to this is a rousing game of mother-may-i.

Rosie109

I suggest red light green light. Or red rover. 

Moneypenny424

Seriously though, I don't think any of the other little girls need to be in the wedding.  Lala's sand ceremony idea is good.  Could the little girls process with little bouquets and then just sit with their families?  Maybe they can walk up with the other members of the wedding party.  That seems to be more than enough involvement to me for the other 3 girls.  Then have your daugher as the FG.