Wedding Party

Picking your maids.....STRESS

For some reason this seems to be the most stressful is deciding who to have stand up.  I have alot of really close friends that have been there and supported me the whole way.  I just can't honestly choose who to have and not have.  If i dont choose i'll end up having a BP of 10 girls.  1 Maid, 1 Matron of Honor, and the rest BM's with 2 being young girls 15 and 16 at the wedding. 

I'm planning a small wedding but is 10 ridiculously big?  How can this seem easier when its so stressful without hurting someone.  This should be the easiest decision of everything right??

Re: Picking your maids.....STRESS

  • kmbryant2413kmbryant2413
    1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    edited April 2013
    Do not pick your bridesmaids until 6-9 months away from your wedding. You are thinking entirely too early. Relationships change, even if they are your sister or your BFF. Seriously.

    Please read this:


    ETA: A lot of the girls on this board will ask you to choose like this: Think to yourself 'If I killed someone and had to bury the body, who would I call?' Seriously. It's usually mentioned for picking your MOH, but could work for you. If you want all of them up there with you, have them. If not, PLEASE do not give them some 'role' or 'job' in your wedding to make them feel special. It will make them feel poopy.
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  • There's nothing wrong with having 10 bridesmaids. You certainly shouldn't leave anyone out in order to achieve an ideal number or as a certain percentage of the guest list. If you know for sure you want 10 girls, just invite them all (but closer to the wedding date).

    However, the cynic in me is saying that the more people you have, the more likely you are to encounter stressful situations or clashing personalities. 
  • The reason that I'm thinking this far ahead is because certain family health issues may cause us to move the wedding way up.  I want to hold out as long as possible and keep our date but if i have to i want to have everything set now so i dont have to rush if something were to happen.  Thanks for the advice everyone.
  • msuprincess04msuprincess04
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    member
    edited April 2013
    In Response to Re: Picking your maids.....STRESS:
    The reason that I'm thinking this far ahead is because certain family health issues may cause us to move the wedding way up.  I want to hold out as long as possible and keep our date but if i have to i want to have everything set now so i dont have to rush if something were to happen.  Thanks for the advice everyone.
    Posted by Princessgia07
    While I understand this situation, bridesmaids are still not something that have to be decided right away. Dresses can be ordered in a month, and flowers can be added days before the wedding. Seriously, focus on all the other stuff and let this go. It's not worth the stress when you obviously have other things to be concerned with, like family health issues. Good friends will be there whether they have a title or not.  They will gush wedding stuff and go to dress appointments and bridal showcases if they want to. That includes throwing you showers and other parties because those things are gifts and not "duties", so anyone can do them if they want to. Believe me when I say, just hold off on asking anyone. It's not necessary immediately. Especially if you don't have a venue booked thus a date written in stone.

    Edited to add: To answer your original question, 10 people is a lot of people. That's 10 opinions on dresses, 10 budgets to juggle, 10 individual gifts, bouquets, and rehersal dinners to buy. But, don't cut people for the sake of even numbers or something like that. Maybe go with a MOH and BM, and keep it simple.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
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    Stop thinking about the grand total number of people.  You need to pick who you want and if that means 10 girls then it is 10 girls.  Don't get caught up in the number.

    Also, picking your bridal party should not be stressful, in fact it should be one of the easiest things to do.  Close your eyes, who do you see standing next to you?  If you see the faces of each of the people you mentioned then that is who you should ask.

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    I used the method KM described. My girls were 2 of the 3 people in this world I could call at 3 a.m. to hide a body, no questions asked. It was an absolute no-brainer for me. I can't imagine being stressed over this b/c you choose your absolute nearest and dearest. If you have to think about whether or not you want certain people, you probably don't. 
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  • princess popprincess pop
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments Combo Breaker
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    edited April 2013
    If I were you I would take TXKristan's advice. Maybe just have a MOH...then you won't have to stress about many people feeling left out, and you won't have to worry about who to put in. I'd say the more people involved, the more drama down the line, especially if your wedding is a year and a half away. More relationships that might change.
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