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'Subsidized' Cash Bar?

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Re: 'Subsidized' Cash Bar?

  • mmmiler346mmmiler346 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    I have enver really heard of anyone doing a subsidezed cash bar with their vender or venue. I have been to plenty of weddings where it is open bar for only a certain amount of time. This would cut down on costs. Just a suggestion :)
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  • ashleyepashleyep member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_subsidized-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:7d7e8d01-a974-44a6-afda-ba104110fcb6Post:4350e649-b6f9-404d-8e2d-51da216b7ecf">Re: 'Subsidized' Cash Bar?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ashley, I understand part of your position. I really do, because I have always thought cash bars were the norm and we're in the same region. I was seriously thrown off when I first started coming to the boards about personalized wedding favors, honeymoon registries and cash bars. I polled a ton of people about them that I know and people that I work with and my mom did the same thing because she thought the same thing I did. Turns out that no one wants a glass with our names on it, that people would just prefer to give us money on their own....and that....the only thing people thought was rude to have to pay for were soft drinks. Everyone I talked to (probably 30 people as some were in a group seetting for this conversation) is used to cash bars. But it's still against etiquette and is rude! It took me time to understand it. I'm not offended when I go to cash bars. My family and friends aren't. I could get away with it probably if I had one... but it's still rude. I can't afford a full bar. I've chosen to do a limited open bar with 2 signature drinks, sparkiling wine and beer. Open soft drinks. 
    Posted by MuppetFan[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Thanks for your response. I'll keep my mouth shut on this topic from now on. Though as I said in another post, my fiance doesn't like beer or wine so that's not really an option for us. </div><div>
    </div><div>I don't like honeymoon registries either, for the record ;)<span style="white-space:pre;" class="Apple-tab-span"> </span> </div><div>
    </div>
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  • MuppetFanMuppetFan member
    5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper First Comment
    That's where a signature drink or two may come in handy with hard liquor.  I negotiated a price for ours that was essentially $2 off the regular pricing. 

    LOL it's probably wise because the same people are going to keep telling you the same things.  I originally kept my mouth shut because I disagreed from my experience with weddings, but I eventually came to see why it's rude. Sometimes when you're the ONLY one in disagreement on a post you have to think that maybe you're not right... and if you google it, you'll find 100 million places to agree with them.

    I was just as baffled with the personalized glasses. I thought everyone in the planet would just LOVE a beer glass with our names on it. Nopers. They just don't want it.

    I no longer feel that honeymoon registries are a good idea.

    Stick around long enough, eventually they might rub off on you.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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  • Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Dry weddings seem a ridiculous thing to be livid over. Seriously. If you can't get through a wedding without alcohol, I would suggest not going. It is absolutely the B&G's prerogative whether they want to offer alcohol or not.

    And if you want to serve alcohol at your wedding, you find a way to save up and pay for it or cut other areas. This is budgeting 101 just like with anything in life. I know I need to pay my cable bill if I want to have ALL THE CHANNELS. So I have a couple options. I save up so I can pay my cable bill, I cut back on the channels I have to make it more affordable (akin to offering only beer and wine instead of full open bar), or I just cut cable altogether if I absolutely can't afford it (akin to dry wedding). Asking my neighbor to supplement my cable bill if I invite them to over to watch TV occasionally is not an OK solution.


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  • GoodLuckBear14GoodLuckBear14 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_subsidized-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:7d7e8d01-a974-44a6-afda-ba104110fcb6Post:11937901-158d-4347-9006-aa5d774e6eb9">Re: 'Subsidized' Cash Bar?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: 'Subsidized' Cash Bar? : Thanks for your response. I'll keep my mouth shut on this topic from now on. Though as I said in another post, <strong>my fiance doesn't like beer or wine so that's not really an option for us</strong>.  I don't like honeymoon registries either, for the record ;)  
    Posted by ashleyep[/QUOTE]

    So what?  He doesn't have to drink it.  The reception is for the guests.  If you said none of your guests liked beer or wine then this would matter.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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  • ashleyepashleyep member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_subsidized-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:7d7e8d01-a974-44a6-afda-ba104110fcb6Post:52abd251-24d2-4f83-8b26-1f929bfe023b">Re: 'Subsidized' Cash Bar?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I try not to post on these threads because I do not drink alcohol. I don't understand why someone needs to drink to have a good time. We are having a dry wedding for many reasons. One of those is FI has been sober for 12 and a half years. He was fine with having alcohol at our reception, but I honestly didnt want to put him in that position. I knew him when he was drinking and don't want to risk that guy coming back. I have had other experiences in my life that have made me refrain from alcohol my step-father was killed when he flipped his truck while driving drunk and the only time I have ever been drunk in my life I was raped. So I hope no one who will be attending my wedding will "be livid" with the fact there is no alcohol. Honestly if they are, they can leave because they obviously don't know me or my FI very well. People who do know us, are expecting there to be none there. OP, to answer your question, if I had the option of paying 8 bucks compared to 5 bucks, I would prefer $5.
    Posted by Ctexasgurl26[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>First, livid was a poort choice of words. Second, In my post I said that I perfectly understand why someone would have a dry wedding for religious or moral reasons or if they're a recovering alcoholic. <span style="white-space:pre;" class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>

    </div>
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_subsidized-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:7d7e8d01-a974-44a6-afda-ba104110fcb6Post:7dc93687-7f49-49cb-89f8-93767986c198">Re: 'Subsidized' Cash Bar?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: 'Subsidized' Cash Bar? : That's really your suggestion? To not offer a beverage the groom enjoys at his own reception?
    Posted by ashleyep[/QUOTE]

    <div>Well if he can't afford to offer his guests the same beverage, yes that would be my suggestion also.</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>No one still hasn't explained to me why people who want a bar do not look for a venue that then can afford to have one.  They do exist. </div>






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • tompkgltompkgl
    First Comment
    We live in Nebraska and I can tell you that around here alot of newlyweds will put say.. $500 on the bar tab and when its gone its gone. Guests will then need to purchase their own drinks. We have chosen to purchase drink tickets and hand them to our guests. We will give each guests 2-3 drink tickets and after that they will be responsible for their own alcohol. All non alcoholic drinks will be purchased by us.  Unlimited alcohol could be a liability issue if someone were to over indulge and we would rather not have any part of it. Our friends are drinkers too, but would not even think twice about it:) i hope this helps.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_subsidized-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:7d7e8d01-a974-44a6-afda-ba104110fcb6Post:6b705a3f-1f87-430d-ab6a-cc5fbb8cbd70">Re: 'Subsidized' Cash Bar?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We live in Nebraska and I can tell you that around here alot of newlyweds will put say.. $500 on the bar tab and when its gone its gone. Guests will then need to purchase their own drinks. <strong>We have chosen to purchase drink tickets and hand them to our guests. We will give each guests 2-3 drink tickets and after that they will be responsible for their own alcohol.</strong> All non alcoholic drinks will be purchased by us.  Unlimited alcohol could be a liability issue if someone were to over indulge and we would rather not have any part of it. Our friends are drinkers too, but would not even think twice about it:) i hope this helps.
    Posted by tompkgl[/QUOTE]

    <img src="http://weknowgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/stephen-colbert-screaming-gif.gif" alt="" width="250" height="187" />

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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_subsidized-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:7d7e8d01-a974-44a6-afda-ba104110fcb6Post:0965fa80-bbff-4a12-990d-1875d35c3ce1">Re: 'Subsidized' Cash Bar?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: 'Subsidized' Cash Bar? :
    Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>LOL</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>Can someone please explain the 2 drink ticket thing?  Why is it always 2 drinks?  Why not one drink per hour the reception lasts?     While I'm not a fan of drink tickets, I think I would be more on board if the limit wasn't 2.   2 seems too controlling to me.</div>






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_subsidized-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:7d7e8d01-a974-44a6-afda-ba104110fcb6Post:bee8ead2-8e08-43c6-943f-f780ac6da74d">Re: 'Subsidized' Cash Bar?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: 'Subsidized' Cash Bar? : LOL Can someone please explain the 2 drink ticket thing?  Why is it always 2 drinks?  Why not one drink per hour the reception lasts?     While I'm not a fan of drink tickets, I think I would be more on board if the limit wasn't 2.  <strong> 2 seems too controlling to me</strong>.
    Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

    I think that is the point.

    And your thinking is way to logical for this thread :)

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  • OnLAOnLA member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited April 2013
    seeing as my question has been completely lost I'm just going to jump in and join the 'discussion'

    My friend, who had an open bar (the only one of the dozen weddings I've been to with an open bar) had to cut costs to afford it.  Things she cut
    - transportation for the bridal party - she left them stranded at the church to find their own way to pictures IMO that's MUCH ruder that a cash bar (especially seeing as she didn't tell them, she just left them there)
    - wedding planner time, her family and early guests were scrambling to help her get her venue set up before the wedding - RUDE
    - food, she went for cheaper options and lower quantities in favour of a cash bar
    - desert, a few family members baked cookies for a cookie bar but there weren't enough to go around

    It was a fun wedding but I know they nearly killed themselves trying to have an open bar and many of the guests/my friends were talking about how they would have preferred she have a cash bar to cutting the things she did.  Her wedding felt cheap because she stretched herself so much to have an open bar (That ran out of various types of liquor part way through the night).

    **And for the record, non-alcoholic beverages would be free regardless, I will not have someone who chooses to not drink having to pay for their pop/juice/soda etc...to me, drinking is a choice, you don't have to.  I'm giving you 2 glasses of wine, good ettiquette, if you want to drink more, that's your perogative, i'm just looking to make it cheaper for you.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_subsidized-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:7d7e8d01-a974-44a6-afda-ba104110fcb6Post:2f94057b-b33e-4e43-b262-9abb29da532e">Re: 'Subsidized' Cash Bar?</a>:
    [QUOTE]seeing as my question has been completely lost I'm just going to jump in and join the 'discussion' My friend, who had an open bar (the only one of the dozen weddings I've been to with an open bar) had to cut costs to afford it.  Things she cut - transportation for the bridal party - she left them stranded at the church to find their own way to pictures IMO that's MUCH ruder that a cash bar (especially seeing as she didn't tell them, she just left them there) - wedding planner time, her family and early guests were scrambling to help her get her venue set up before the wedding - RUDE - food, she went for cheaper options and lower quantities in favour of a cash bar - desert, a few family members baked cookies for a cookie bar but there weren't enough to go around It was a fun wedding but I know they nearly killed themselves trying to have an open bar and many of the guests/my friends were talking about how they would have preferred she have a cash bar to cutting the things she did.  Her wedding felt cheap because she stretched herself so much to have an open bar (That ran out of various types of liquor part way through the night). **And for the record, non-alcoholic beverages would be free regardless, I will not have someone who chooses to not drink having to pay for their pop/juice/soda etc...to me, drinking is a choice, you don't have to.  I'm giving you 2 glasses of wine, good ettiquette, if you want to drink more, that's your perogative, i'm just looking to make it cheaper for you.
    Posted by Bibbleskip[/QUOTE]

    What your example talks about is poor planning all around.

    Many, many, many, brides on here can put together a well planned, non-rude  wedding and still have money to cover the costs of an open bar.  The bride in your example just seemed to be rude and a poor planner and it wasn't solely because she wanted an open bar.

    Did I have an open bar?  Yes.  Did I have to budget appropriately to afford one?  Yes.  Did I do anything that was rude towards my guests or wedding party?  Heck, no.  I made sure everyone was comfortable, had yummy food, great music, pretty decor to look at and some alcohol to drink on my tab.

    Having a cash bar or subsidized bar because you can't afford an open bar of some sort is a crappy reason.  You could wear a less expensive dress, you could also have less decor to help cover the costs, but I guess those items which have no bearing on your guests comfort are more important then not being rude and making your guests open their wallet to help pay for your wedding, which is what a cash bar basically is.

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  • Nicole0613Nicole0613 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    Just my opinion, but I don't think you should skimp on the food or drinks offered. You are inviting people to an event and shouldn't expect guests to pay for anything. Maybe talk with your venue and see if you can bring the alcohol in. They may charge you a "cork fee," but at least you aren't asking your guests to pay $. Or if that's not allowed, stick with just beer and wine and non alcoholic drinks. It will be cheaper than having liquor offered. Take a look at your budget and see where you can scale down. And from experience, definitely talk with your venue. I've asked my banquet manager a variety of questions and he's been very helpful. I also think that "cash bars" are sometimes acceptable in different areas. I am from NJ and they are just the norm around here. I'm sure you'll figure it out!
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  • tropiak88tropiak88
    First Comment
    What if you are hosting a beer,wine,soda bar but there are mixed drinks they can purchase?
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_subsidized-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:7d7e8d01-a974-44a6-afda-ba104110fcb6Post:2f94057b-b33e-4e43-b262-9abb29da532e">Re: 'Subsidized' Cash Bar?</a>:
    [QUOTE]seeing as my question has been completely lost I'm just going to jump in and join the 'discussion' My friend, who had an open bar (the only one of the dozen weddings I've been to with an open bar) had to cut costs to afford it.  <div>
    </div><div>Things she cut - transportation for the bridal party - she left them stranded at the church to find their own way to pictures IMO that's MUCH ruder that a cash bar (especially seeing as she didn't tell them, she just left them there) -<strong>   WP transportation is not required.  I think the WP is as much to blame for assuming there was transportation.   Seems like a communication breakdown.  </strong></div><div><strong>
    </strong></div><div><strong> </strong> wedding planner time, her family and early guests were scrambling to help her get her venue set up before the wedding - RUDE    <strong>I agree it's rude.  Just don't see how having an open bar caused them to underestimate setup time? That could have happend anyway.  </strong><div>
    </div><div>- food, she went for cheaper options and lower quantities in favour of a cash bar -<strong> Had she properly planned she could have had both.   Really poor planning. </strong></div><div>
    </div><div> desert, a few family members baked cookies for a cookie bar but there weren't enough to go around I<strong>  Okay, again poor planning.  But not necessarily a direct connection to the open bar.</strong></div><div>
    </div><div>t was a fun wedding but I know they nearly killed themselves trying to have an open bar and many of the guests/my friends were talking about how they would have preferred she have a cash bar to cutting the things she did.  Her wedding felt cheap because she stretched herself so much to have an open bar (That ran out of various types of liquor part way through the night). **And for the record, non-alcoholic beverages would be free regardless, I will not have someone who chooses to not drink having to pay for their pop/juice/soda etc...to me, drinking is a choice, you don't have to.  I'm giving you 2 glasses of wine, good ettiquette, if you want to drink more, that's your perogative, i'm just looking to make it cheaper for you.
    Posted by Bibbleskip[/QUOTE]

    <div>I would not use a poor planning bride as an arguement in favor of cash bars.     Had she planned properly in the begining there would have been different results.</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div></div></div>






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • GoodLuckBear14GoodLuckBear14 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_subsidized-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:7d7e8d01-a974-44a6-afda-ba104110fcb6Post:4229f8e6-a5d4-4771-bc10-8f1fc32e5c26">Re: 'Subsidized' Cash Bar?</a>:
    [QUOTE]What if you are hosting a beer,wine,soda bar but there are mixed drinks they can purchase?
    Posted by tropiak88[/QUOTE]

    Oh FFS.  That is a partial cash bar and has been discussed.  Any alcohol that you provide at your reception is on<em> you</em> to pay for.  Never the guest.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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  • GoodLuckBear14GoodLuckBear14 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Bibleskip - all of your examples are the result of poor planning on the B&G's part.  It is not an either or situation.  I think I have pointed out areas that could be cut that do not affect the guests.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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  • PookiesonPookieson member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    This is all bananas.  Cash bars are rude and drink tickets are stupid.  Everyone has told you why bibble-whateveryournamesis. 

    Oh and your friend sucks at planning and is stupid too.  Her failures planning that wedding had nothing to do with her choice to have an open bar.

    image

    June 1, 2013 - finally making it official!

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  • Bubblegum5586Bubblegum5586 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer

    I have been to about 20+ wedding in the past 6 years! I think 3 of them had an open bar and one of which was just during cocktail hour. Maybe most of these were young couples footing the bill themselves so no one seemed to mind at all. It didn't stop people from drinking at all either. I have seen both extremes from open bar to NOTHING but Cash bar. I am happy with wine at dinner or a signature drink and a cash bar because at least something was provided and if I wish to have more then I can. Nothing at all seemed a little rude... but again... no one seemed to really care we all still had a great time!

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  • Bubblegum5586Bubblegum5586 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer

    I have been to about 20+ wedding in the past 6 years! I think 3 of them had an open bar and one of which was just during cocktail hour. Maybe most of these were young couples footing the bill themselves so no one seemed to mind at all. It didn't stop people from drinking at all either. I have seen both extremes from open bar to NOTHING but Cash bar. I am happy with wine at dinner or a signature drink and a cash bar because at least something was provided and if I wish to have more then I can. Nothing at all seemed a little rude... but again... no one seemed to really care we all still had a great time!

    image


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  • ShannonEMShannonEM member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I've been to cash bar weddings, dry weddings and open bar weddings.  All were lovely. However I want to second what was said above...what is the norm in the East Coast is different than the GTA so if your wedding is in MIssisauga you may want to ask around about what is the norm.  Ultimately you can obviously do what you want but I know there can be pretty big differences between those areas (having been to weddings in both general areas).


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  • MrsOdenMrsOden
    First Comment

    While we're not doing a cash bar, they are considered the "norm" for my area. I have only been to a few weddings that were not cash bars. They limited the drinks to beer and wine, or simply no alcohol at all. I know some people were upset they couldn't just buy their drinks. Do what you can afford. Try to be as accomodating of a host as you can be. In the end, know your guests and what they'd be comfortable with. Best of luck!

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  • starlily29starlily29
    First Comment
    I was born and raised in New Jersey and CASH BARS are the norm as the poster a few ahead of me posted. Why are some of you women so MEAN?????  The one telling the OP shes been away from her bridge too long? whats wrong with you? you are an adult bully! I hope to God you are not a mother. The moderator needs to wake up!!!!!!!
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_subsidized-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:7d7e8d01-a974-44a6-afda-ba104110fcb6Post:b671550f-f438-405b-bdf4-d5349cb8624e">Re: 'Subsidized' Cash Bar?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>I was born and raised in New Jersey and CASH BARS are the norm as the poster a few ahead of me posted.</strong> Why are some of you women so MEAN?????  The one telling the OP shes been away from her bridge too long? whats wrong with you? you are an adult bully! I hope to God you are not a mother. The moderator needs to wake up!!!!!!!
    Posted by starlily29[/QUOTE]

    <div>Umm... that is not my experience.  Ours was an open bar along with about 5 other NJ weddings I attend.  Maybe it's your social group's NORM, but I would not say it's the norm of the entire state.</div>






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_subsidized-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:7d7e8d01-a974-44a6-afda-ba104110fcb6Post:b671550f-f438-405b-bdf4-d5349cb8624e">Re: 'Subsidized' Cash Bar?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I was born and raised in New Jersey and CASH BARS are the norm as the poster a few ahead of me posted. Why are some of you women so MEAN?????  The one telling the OP shes been away from her bridge too long? whats wrong with you? you are an adult bully! I hope to God you are not a mother. The moderator needs to wake up!!!!!!!
    Posted by starlily29[/QUOTE]

    No one's being "mean" or needs to "wake up" and nothing's "wrong" with anyone - except for those who can't accept that standard etiquette in most of the US (including NJ) is that expecting guests to pay for anything at all, whether it's parking, coat check, alcohol, food, or any other cost of hosting the wedding, is rude.  Period. If you want to provide any of that, you pay for it yourself.  You don't make it a "cash anything" to save yourselves money.  No one is "entitled" to liquor, regardless of whether or not they'd be "comfortable" or have "fun" at a wedding that didn't have it or limited its availability.
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  • aliciadunn01aliciadunn01
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_subsidized-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:7d7e8d01-a974-44a6-afda-ba104110fcb6Post:e0776632-de75-4ff4-ad82-d99c98f17341">Re: 'Subsidized' Cash Bar?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I understand that we are entitled to our opinions, however, the thread is about a cash bar and how to make it cost effective.  If you're against them and think they're rude why bother replying?  I'm having a cash bar, it's not rude, it's a very common practice where I'm from, I'm just trying to find a way to find the best of both worlds.  And for everyone who says (on this thread and others) 'would you ask someone to pay for drinks at your house' have you never heard of BYOB (NO I am not suggesting a BYOB wedding).  I ALWAYS bring wine or beer when I'm invited somewhere to dinner, it's considered polite.  It would be rude to show up empty handed. If you have nothing to say about the actual question please don't reply.
    Posted by Bibbleskip[/QUOTE]
     AMEN sister!  I think you are being very nice. These people on here seem so snooty. Go for whatever you want. I think I might just steal your idea. I was going to do a cash bar also.  Everyone keep's saying "if you invited them to your house would you make them pay for...!" Well if "I" invited them to my house they'd be my friends, and know exactly what to expect from me. They'd know that in my fridge I don't have an "open bar." and the meal I just prepared for them cost money, and they'd be happy with whatever drink I had to offer. I say do the champagne toast and the subsidized price. That is an awesome idea. <div>Good luck. Let the hater's be your motivator! LOL</div>
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