Seating chart- yes or no?

scscott06

I have a cousin-in-law (married to my first cousin) and she cannot stand her in-laws (my mom's sister and husband).  The thing is, she's cordial to them, but they start a lot of stupid drama that she wants no part in. At the shower, she explicitly asked to not be sat next to them, but they don't know this.  In this instance, assigned tables for guests would work out well.  I think if people are grouped together by table, they will automatically sit next to whomever they would like.  

kiwikiss56

just out of curiosity - what region of the US are those who have had / been to weddings with unassigned seating?  i've honestly never heard of it before (i'm from the northeast) or been to a wedding without an assigned table and am just curious!  i can see why it could be confusing to those who are used to having assigned seating at weddings but can definitely see how it works in some settings!

msdds51

Seating charts also force your guests to mingle and get the party going!

NerdyLucy

kiwikiss56 said:

just out of curiosity - what region of the US are those who have had / been to weddings with unassigned seating?  i've honestly never heard of it before (i'm from the northeast) or been to a wedding without an assigned table and am just curious!  i can see why it could be confusing to those who are used to having assigned seating at weddings but can definitely see how it works in some settings!

I've been to weddings in Kentucky, Ohio, Indiana, Tennessee, and West Virginia, and none had assigned seating.
 ETA:  These ranged from small and simple to large and lavish. 

hannahkate86

My fiance and I are going to do seating chart. Its super awkward wandering around trying to find a seat. It feels like the middle school cafeteria where you have to try to find friends and save seats for people. Its just easier for everyone if they're told where to go sit.

DaniG13

I'm getting married this November and we're going to do assigned tables but not assigned seats.  There's nothing worse that looking for an open table

missJ2014

My fiance and I are going to do seating chart. Its super awkward wandering around trying to find a seat. It feels like the middle school cafeteria where you have to try to find friends and save seats for people. Its just easier for everyone if they're told where to go sit.

Good explanation, and exactly why we've decided to go with seating charts. I would to make people feel awkward if we can avoid it.

mandibride2be

I prefer assigned. I went to a party and there was no assigned seating it was absolutely awkward. We arrived "late" to a communion party - and in Italian/my family terms that mean late - so there was no choices.  Also people were already up and talking so we were sure where they were sitting. The idea of no seating chart allows guest to mingle - but honestly, anyone will go towards what they are most comfortable with - the people they know! It's a natural thing - don't say you wouldn't do it lol. The only times you want your guests to be sitting anyway is pretty much for the dinner portion.

Jen4948

kiwikiss56 said:

just out of curiosity - what region of the US are those who have had / been to weddings with unassigned seating?  i've honestly never heard of it before (i'm from the northeast) or been to a wedding without an assigned table and am just curious!  i can see why it could be confusing to those who are used to having assigned seating at weddings but can definitely see how it works in some settings!

I don't think it's a "regional" thing.  Some people do it, some don't, but my preference is to assign tables-wherever the wedding is taking place.

Dreamergirl8812

lyndausvi

southernbelle0915 said:

Exactly, @LMc0322. Exactly. That's what made me think NYU had never been to an event like this. Picturing people strolling the whole time with a bunch of empty tables and chairs makes me lol.

Actually, I've worked and/or attended a lot of events that had stations and people preferred to stand than sit so there are a lot of empty chairs and tables around.  These events always had high top tables to put the food one.

Anyway I can't really say I have preference because out of the 45+ weddings I've attended only one had open seating. I use that term loosely because there were not enough tables and chairs for everyone.  NBD for us as we got a high-top, but it would have been a problem for some.   I don't think it's fair to use this one event as a reason to dislike open seating.    

Since I've attended 44+ weddings with assigned tables that is my expectation and I would be surprised at an open seating wedding.   We are often the last people in the bar before heading to our table.  We would be the ones rooming around asking if we can sit with them. 

cmalork

I will have assigned tables and assigned chairs. I think it will be easier than having guests walk around trying to find a seat.

dalywill

i haven't decided yet honestly.  my guest list is large, and we can accomodate everyone, but we have no idea if it will be 90 who say yes or more like 120?  if it's closer to 90 (or lower) i think no seating chart, but if it's bigger and unwieldy then i think i'll opt for a seating chart.  Hope this helps!

glbelou

The last wedding I went to did not have assigned seating and it was a nightmare. Everyone just stood around looking awkwardly at one another for 45 minutes. Assigned tables help to ease the awkwardness and move the reception along more quickly.

sfarns

If I had never been to a wedding I'd be inclined to say open seating is great, but having seen it twice (and the rest of the time it's been assigned) I can say that I hate open seating. At one wedding, my partner and I got there a few minutes late b/c of parking issues, so our friends all filled a table and there were no more spots. We ended up sitting at the other end of the party with awkward people. Assigned tables would have taken care of that. At another wedding, not even close family members had assigned tables or seats so random people sat near the head table in front and family members couldn't find a seat. So they left before dinner. It was not pretty.

People are are really extroverted might be fine, but some of us aren't comfortable in social situations unless we're with people we already know. For some people, weddings are a great way to meet new people. For others, they're a great way to catch up with old friends and family. Assigned seating lets you do the latter. Open seating might force and introvert out of her comfort zone, whereas open seating won't hurt the extroverts - they can mingle during  cocktail hour or dancing if they don't like their companions.

It's also just logistically difficult to have open seating. People who know each other will bunch up at tables and there will be partially open tables.  You'd think people could figure it out, but you'd be surprised.

I'd rather go to a wedding with assigned tables and then switch if I'm really uncomfortable rather than walk in and feel the pressure of where should I sit, and with whom.

kipnus

Here in Alberta, I've been to four weddings without assigned seating, and five with (including my own).