Let's talk themes.

ElcaB

Now that my FI & I have finally secured our venue, it's time for the next step: choosing a theme. I know, I know, we don't have to have a theme, colors can be themes, blah blah blah. But seriously, this girl right here? She needs a theme. I am all over the place here, Knotties. All. Over. The. Place. I'm all, "Ooohh, neutrals! Wait, how about a lake theme? OMG, we both love sushi - let's have an Asian wedding!" (You get the idea.) I know I can look to the venue and season to help, but it's not enough.  

Basically, I have too many ideas. I need a theme to help guide me in my decision-making process. Just out of curiosity, what were your themes and inspirations you used to plan your wedding? 

Maggie0829

The theme to your wedding should be "marriage".  You don't need a theme.  This is not a birthday party or a shower.  Pick colors and decor that you both like and then plan accordingly.

For our wedding we had purple and green colors.  So we coordinated our decor around that.  But in no way did we have a theme of any sort.

manateehugger

I'm going for a feel and motifs more so than a "theme." Our reception is in a children's museum, so we wanted something that felt fun and light. I wanted a venue that did most of the work for me. I picked bright colors and love the idea of using decorated chalkboards (in chalk pens - not actual chalk) as a recurring motif for table numbers, menus, etc. 

Do you want an evening wedding or an afternoon wedding? Rich and elaborate feel or light and airy feel? Think about what impression (not details - just overall impression) you want everyone to have when they walk in and let that impression guide you. 

ETA: And yeah, themes are silly. It's not a frat party. 

thejucheidea

I agree with Linger. There's no need for a theme in a wedding. It's silly.

manateehugger

HoorayForSoup said:

ClaireyBee said:

Now that my FI & I have finally secured our venue, it's time for the next step: choosing a theme. I know, I know, we don't have to have a theme, colors can be themes, blah blah blah. But seriously, this girl right here? She needs a theme. I am all over the place here, Knotties. All. Over. The. Place. I'm all, "Ooohh, neutrals! Wait, how about a lake theme? OMG, we both love sushi - let's have an Asian wedding!" (You get the idea.) I know I can look to the venue and season to help, but it's not enough.  

Basically, I have too many ideas. I need a theme to help guide me in my decision-making process. Just out of curiosity, what were your themes and inspirations you used to plan your wedding? 

I don't really get the point of themes, but if neither of you are Asian please don't have an "Asian wedding." Other people's culture and heritage should not be boiled down into stereotypes to serve as a shtick in your wedding. 

Not to mention that sushi isn't an "Asian" thing. 

QueerFemme

ClaireyBee said:

Now that my FI & I have finally secured our venue, it's time for the next step: choosing a theme. I know, I know, we don't have to have a theme, colors can be themes, blah blah blah. But seriously, this girl right here? She needs a theme. I am all over the place here, Knotties. All. Over. The. Place. I'm all, "Ooohh, neutrals! Wait, how about a lake theme? OMG, we both love sushi - let's have an Asian wedding!" (You get the idea.) I know I can look to the venue and season to help, but it's not enough.  

Basically, I have too many ideas. I need a theme to help guide me in my decision-making process. Just out of curiosity, what were your themes and inspirations you used to plan your wedding? 

Our theme was "marriage = mexican wedding".   We had mexican food, a mariachi band, and you know.. mexican people.  (my partner is mexican).

I think choosing an "asian" theme, unless you are asian, would be weird, and honestly, probably pretty offensive to asian people.  It's usually offensive to use someone's race or ethnicity as a "party theme".  

If you are all over the place, and don't have a specific theme that you are attached to, that's probably a good sign not to have a theme.

thejucheidea

I agree with everyone regarding the 'Asian' theme. We're having Japanese and Buddhist things in our ceremony and reception, but it's because we're both followers of Japanese schools of Buddhism and I was an East Asian studies major in college and therefore speak and read Japanese, so it's a big part of my life. Liking sushi does not equate to needing to add 'Asian' influences to your wedding.

AddieCake

I think your theme should be Hello Kitty. 

ETA: Our "theme" was river rocks. 

AddieCake

I'm eating Hello Kitty Fun Dip right now, and they would make great favors. 

AllieBear725

If only you knew about my obsession of Hello Kitty @AddieL73. I would have totally had a Hello Kitty theme! ETA: grammar fail, spelling fail.

southernbelle0915

Another vote for no theme. Like Maggie said, pick some colors and stick to that. If you want to create a logo for your wedding that you use on stationary, photobooth strips, napkins, etc. that's one thing, but I wouldn't do an all out theme. Honestly, I think it'll give you a headache because you might come across some really good ideas that you love but don't "fit" the theme. 

Stick with a color or two and keep your options open.

manateehugger

AddieCake

OMG, P!

MuppetFan

Hello Kitty IS Asian. It works! Here's a ring and matching band

MuppetFan

My wedding has no theme, but Kermit did make an appearance at our E-session and he is of course making one at our reception...if only just for a photo op.

MoonlightSilver

My wedding theme was aquarium. As in, we got married in an aquarium. If we had picked a different venue, that would have been our "theme." 

kaos16

You say you picked a venue. . . what is it?

I got married at an aquarium as well, so we had white on white candy shells on our cake, and starfish on our invitations. . . we also did "message in a bottle" escort cards (although that was more because DH proposed with a message in a bottle).  We used blue as an accent color, because I like blue, it looked great on all of the wedding party, and it tied in well with the decor.

Since your theme should be wedding, you can use little things to accent your venue and bring out aspects of your personality without full on, in your face theme.  As PPs said, it is not a children's party, and there is a lot to be said for subtlety at a wedding.

Simply Fated

I understand why some people like themes. It helps to give you direction when choosing things like invitations and centerpieces. I just think you're overthinking things, in this case.

Step awayyyyy from the kitschy themes. Those are much better suited for events like showers or birthday parties. For weddings they can come across as, for lack of a better word, tacky.

Find a venue, first, and design the decor around that. A lake theme would work if your venue is by a lake, for instance. I completely don't think you have to label your theme, though. The theme can be "marriage," but you could hang those paper lanterns and have a sushi bar.

audreyecu61

We are getting married in a grapevine/garden attached to a california mission. Our colors were green and purple, because those are the colors of our birthstones. So we went with a sort of mexican type flavor. Not really a theme per say. The venue had a lot to do with the decor, which is papel picado, mexican wedding decor.

So look at your venue, keep it simple or it becomes too much to deal with.

I hope this helps.

ElcaB

Whoa! Sincere apologies if I offended anyone by mentioning an Asian theme. I know non-verbal communication can come across the wrong way sometimes. I honestly didn't mean to insult anyone or any cultures. Also, I wasn't actually considering an Asian-themed wedding just because I love sushi; I was just trying to give you an idea of how scattered my thoughts were! 

Also, I know some people think themes are silly, and that's fine. Like I said, I was just wandering what inspired and guided you in your planning For some people, that's a theme, and for others, it's not. I just need something to anchor my ideas. To me, it'd be silly to have starfish on the table and pumpkins in the lobby! (Please note: this is not actually being considered.)

Thanks to those who shared! 

manateehugger

@ClaireyBee, what is your venue?

MrsMack10612

We used travel elements.  We like to travel, mostly US based roadtrips.  We go see crazy things like The Spam Museum and the World's Largest Ball of Twine.

Our stationery, favors and centerpieces reflected this.

TKzilla

@ClaireyBee - tell us about your venue - we can't really say much otherwise. I don't think you necessarily need a "theme" but inspiration isn't terrible. What do you see in your mind when you picture your wedding? If you have bridesmaids, what colors do you see them wearing? What time of year will your wedding be held? These are pretty vital details

southernbelle0915

If you're just looking to tie things into a decoration scheme, just pick things you like that are important to you and FI and try to carry some things through.. So for example, FI and I are big time backpackers and love the outdoors. We are getting married outside. We are using wood cross-sections with information (i.e. "Gifts", Photo Booth", our menu, etc.) branded in cursive and river rocks with candles on some tables and wildflower bouquets on other tables. We used a wood fern on all our stationary. We also picked a venue that has a ton of outdoor space and is in a private, wooded setting. There were a few other things I wanted to use (twine, moss, etc.) but since Pintrest has slut-ified rustic/nature weddings, I dropped some ideas so it wouldn't look too cliche. 

ETA: we are NOT setting up tents, having our wedding party or us wear hiking boots/bandannas, serving only camp food, or hanging backpacks and mess kits from the ceiling... that would be making it a theme. See the difference?

winelover123

Our "theme" is rooted in the colors: black and gold. So we're going a bit vintagey/elegant. When we started planning, our colors were jewel tones - blue, green and purple. We were going to have a peacock theme with some feathers in the centerpieces. Our invitations reflect our theme.

kaos16

MrsMack10612 said:

We used travel elements.  We like to travel, mostly US based roadtrips.  We go see crazy things like The Spam Museum and the World's Largest Ball of Twine.

Our stationery, favors and centerpieces reflected this.

I want to travel with you!!!  Have you ever been to Solomon's Castle in Ona Florida. . . . .the guy made an entire house/castle covered in the plate metal from printing presses.  The property has a boat in a moat that's a restaurant.  It is odd and fabulous!

[excuse the momentary threadjack]

MrsMack10612

@kaos16 - No but we have been to the Coral Castle in Homestead FL.  I'll definitely have H put Solomon's on the list.  We love odd & fabulous.

We have "the book" that we keep a running list of all the things we want to see in.

WinstonsGirl

Our theme was getting married too.  We did a DW to Hawaii, so our colors were tropical colored, as in I picked tropical flowers over roses or something more traditional.  Our invites went out in bright blue, orange and pinkish (3 different colors), and they were boarding pass style.  Our cake had tropical flowers, a couple of palm trees and 2 surfboards for toppers.  Our thank you cards were retro Hawaiian postcards.  I suppose that makes a theme, though I certainly never looked at it that way.  It just all fit together with getting married in Hawaii.  

On a side note, whenever people asked me what my theme was, and I responded with "getting married", people gave me confused looks.  They didn't get that I wasn't planning with a theme in mind

ElcaB

@Southernbelle0914, I love when couples incorporate elements that are part of them. Your wedding sounds awesome and we're on the same page  

Side note: You're comment about Pinterest slut-ifying rustic weddings cracked me up. I also dropped a few of those ideas for the very same reason. 

arrippa

The only theme that I have seen at a wedding was when the bride and groom named all the tables after places they would like to visit. Example, the Paris table had a centerpiece that included a picture of the Eiffel Tower.

TKzilla

@Claireybee - we didn't have a "themed" wedding but there were touches of ocean-inspired stuff. Our favors were small corked glass bottles with candy in them and a note rolled up so it looked like a message in a bottle. There were a couple of pretty starfish tied to the trellis that we got married in front of. I don't think anyone would say we had a "beach themed wedding", but we had a lot of decorations and "touches" that went with our venue (a big beach house)

Does that help?