Donations Instead of Favors?

MandyandDJB

NYCBruin said:

MandyandDJB said:

This kills me! Don't change your mind just because the women on here don't like it! If it is really what you care about and what you want, then do it! The day is about you and your FI and your love. If this is something that the two of you want and support then go for it.  If a guest has a problem with it because they don't support it then they are being selfish and not seeing the true point of the day....you and your FI. Guests should be there to support the two of you, not to judge.

Wedding guests are not hired servants whose job it is to ooh and awe over the wedded couple.

If you want your wedding day to be ALL ABOUT YOU AND FI, then elope.  But if you are having guests, it ceases to be all about you.

If you insist on having an audience to bask in your amazingness, hire actors for the day.

Whew...you're a gem!

 

 

All I'm trying to say is a wedding is about celebrating love. If your having a wedding to put on a show for your guests, including favors that they will "approve" of, then you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Yes, you want your guests to enjoy and have fun, but if someone is that rude to judge the favors you decided on, is that really someone you want at your wedding to share something so special?

At the end of the day, your married to the love of your life and the details no longer matter.

 

 

Maggie0829

MandyandDJB said:

This kills me! Don't change your mind just because the women on here don't like it! If it is really what you care about and what you want, then do it! The day is about you and your FI and your love. If this is something that the two of you want and support then go for it.  If a guest has a problem with it because they don't support it then they are being selfish and not seeing the true point of the day....you and your FI. Guests should be there to support the two of you, not to judge.

Answer me this.  If a bride and groom (or just a couple in general) support a certain charity then why can't they just make a donation whenver they want rather then dragging it into their wedding?  Putting out a cute little card with a fun poem saying how happy you are to donate money in your guests honor does not mean that your guests will be happy about it, especially if it is for a charity they do not support.  How would you like having your name associated with a charity that you despise or disagree with?

NYCBruin

MandyandDJB said:

NYCBruin said:

MandyandDJB said:

This kills me! Don't change your mind just because the women on here don't like it! If it is really what you care about and what you want, then do it! The day is about you and your FI and your love. If this is something that the two of you want and support then go for it.  If a guest has a problem with it because they don't support it then they are being selfish and not seeing the true point of the day....you and your FI. Guests should be there to support the two of you, not to judge.

Wedding guests are not hired servants whose job it is to ooh and awe over the wedded couple.

If you want your wedding day to be ALL ABOUT YOU AND FI, then elope.  But if you are having guests, it ceases to be all about you.

If you insist on having an audience to bask in your amazingness, hire actors for the day.

Whew...you're a gem!

 

 

All I'm trying to say is a wedding is about celebrating love. If your having a wedding to put on a show for your guests, including favors that they will "approve" of, then you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Yes, you want your guests to enjoy and have fun, but if someone is that rude to judge the favors you decided on, is that really someone you want at your wedding to share something so special?

At the end of the day, your married to the love of your life and the details no longer matter.

 

 

I'm curious, did you read any of the posts on this thread where people explained lots and lots of legitimate reasons why they don't like donations as part of favors?  These are legitimate complaints.  

Your response would be appropriate if we were talking about guests judging a couple for choosing candles instead of floral centerpieces, but we aren't.  This is something guests absolutely have a right to be judgmental about.  I stand by my previous statement.  If you don't care about offending guests, don't invite any.

Jen4948

MandyandDJB said:

NYCBruin said:

MandyandDJB said:

This kills me! Don't change your mind just because the women on here don't like it! If it is really what you care about and what you want, then do it! The day is about you and your FI and your love. If this is something that the two of you want and support then go for it.  If a guest has a problem with it because they don't support it then they are being selfish and not seeing the true point of the day....you and your FI. Guests should be there to support the two of you, not to judge.

Wedding guests are not hired servants whose job it is to ooh and awe over the wedded couple.

If you want your wedding day to be ALL ABOUT YOU AND FI, then elope.  But if you are having guests, it ceases to be all about you.

If you insist on having an audience to bask in your amazingness, hire actors for the day.

Whew...you're a gem!

 

 

All I'm trying to say is a wedding is about celebrating love. If your having a wedding to put on a show for your guests, including favors that they will "approve" of, then you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Yes, you want your guests to enjoy and have fun, but if someone is that rude to judge the favors you decided on, is that really someone you want at your wedding to share something so special?

At the end of the day, your married to the love of your life and the details no longer matter.

 

 

You're not getting the point.  Guests are not captive audiences.  They are entitled to "judge" what the couples who invited them do for their weddings and expect them to sit through.  You want not to be judged? Elope!  The fact that you think it's a beautiful gesture does not require your guests to agree with you, and some won't.  That's their right. 

At the end of the day, yes, you can do whatever you want, but if you violate etiquette, it's still rude, and you will not only be "judged" legitimately for it, you'll have earned the negative judgment.  So if you really want to keep the goodwill of your guests, knock off the bullshit about how rude it is for guests to judge and stop exposing yourself to judgment.