gift table?

TheBaysideBride

In the room diagram the hotel sent us for our reception, there is a gift table in the reception room (in a corner). Is this normal? I feel brain dead and like I've been living under a rock, but I don't think I've ever brought a gift to a wedding. I generally always send it ahead of time. For those who have gotten married - did people actually bring presents? I'm afraid I'm going to have an empty table, or that having the table at all will look rude. on the other hand, if someone shows up w/ a gift, I don't want it getting lost in the shuffle....

thanks, as always!

BB

itzMS

TheBaysideBride said:

In the room diagram the hotel sent us for our reception, there is a gift table in the reception room (in a corner). Is this normal? I feel brain dead and like I've been living under a rock, but I don't think I've ever brought a gift to a wedding. I generally always send it ahead of time. For those who have gotten married - did people actually bring presents? I'm afraid I'm going to have an empty table, or that having the table at all will look rude. on the other hand, if someone shows up w/ a gift, I don't want it getting lost in the shuffle....

thanks, as always!

BB

Yes, guests brought gifts and cards to our wedding. You should at the very least have a small, secure, card box on the table. You could also display some engagement pictures there (we did, so the table served an additional purpose).

Where else would you have guests place their cards?

harper0813

I'm not married, but I have seen presents brought to weddings before. Gift tables are not rude. In fact, you can put your card box there, too. I think they're generally viewed as normal, if not courteous, so that guests aren't wandering around wondering where to put things, or handing them to you or your parents or the WP.

ETA: I agree with itz that you could use this space to display engagement photos if you don't want to come off as gift-grabby. Or set your guest book here, if you're having one.

Jen4948

Even though traditionally gifts are supposed to be sent ahead of time and not brought to weddings, people do sometimes show up with them; unfortunately, arranging for a "gift table" is like putting registry information in an invitation: it expresses an "expectation" of gifts that doesn't pass etiquette muster.

Is there a secure, out-of-the-way place at your venue that you can designate as "for gifts" in case anyone shows up with one?

manateehugger

I know gift tables/boxes are technically rude, since it gives off the impression of expecting gifts. However, I think this is one of those cases where praticality rules. I'd rather have a discreet gift table than have guests spend time wandering around to find someone in my family to ask where to put their gift.

ETA: The only time I've ever thought a gift table was obnoxious was when a bride put a sign next to the guestbook that said "Don't forget to leave your gift here!" That was last summer, and I still remember it.

MayDay513

Our gift table was in a general area near the guest book and escort cards. Right before we did our entrance our bridal party helped move all of the gifts into a secure room so they would not walk away. You can put a card box at this table as well, but somewhere someone can keep an eye on it.

itzMS

Jen4948 said:

Even though traditionally gifts are supposed to be sent ahead of time and not brought to weddings, people do sometimes show up with them; unfortunately, arranging for a "gift table" is like putting registry information in an invitation: it expresses an "expectation" of gifts that doesn't pass etiquette muster.

Is there a secure, out-of-the-way place at your venue that you can designate as "for gifts" in case anyone shows up with one?

I disagree here. The table isn't going to have a sign that says "PUT GIFTS HERE OR ELSE! BECAUSE I EXPECT YOU TO BRING ONE!"

It's...a table...

:-)

Jen4948

itzMS said:

show previous quotes

Jen4948 said:

Even though traditionally gifts are supposed to be sent ahead of time and not brought to weddings, people do sometimes show up with them; unfortunately, arranging for a "gift table" is like putting registry information in an invitation: it expresses an "expectation" of gifts that doesn't pass etiquette muster.

Is there a secure, out-of-the-way place at your venue that you can designate as "for gifts" in case anyone shows up with one?

I disagree here. The table isn't going to have a sign that says "PUT GIFTS HERE OR ELSE! BECAUSE I EXPECT YOU TO BRING ONE!"

It's...a table...

:-)

Why don't we agree to disagree?

misshart00

It's fine to have a gift table off to the side of the room. I think it's in bad taste when it's front and center on display. In my circle, gifts are often brought to the wedding and there is always a table with a card box.

harper0813

misshart00 said:

It's fine to have a gift table off to the side of the room. I think it's in bad taste when it's front and center on display. In my circle, gifts are often brought to the wedding and there is always a table with a card box.

I agree with misshart. Having it off to the side near the entrance would be convenient for guests and then you don't have to worry about it just sitting there glaring at people greedily.

manateehugger

zobird said:

show previous quotes

It's fine to have a gift table off to the side of the room. I think it's in bad taste when it's front and center on display. In my circle, gifts are often brought to the wedding and there is always a table with a card box.

I agree with misshart. Having it off to the side near the entrance would be convenient for guests and then you don't have to worry about it just sitting there glaring at people greedily.

Ditto - I always look for them off to the side.

hardlyhannah

*threadjack*

This is something I have been wondering about myself. I am going to have a table - that isn't what I am am questioning. It will have a cardbox and my guestbook on it.

What I am second guessing is that my venue is on the second floor, and isn't very big. So when you come up the stairs/elevator and walk the hall to get to the space - the table will basically be the first thing you see. It's really the only place that will be 'out of the way' from the rest of the room - but is is poor to have that be the first thing?

monkeysip

That's how ours was.  Off to the side by the entrance.

We put an engagement photo and our card box on there, and just left a little space.  We actually only received one boxed gift at the wedding, but we also only had 55 guests, a lot of whom came from out of town.  I've been to bigger weddings that had TONS of gifts stacked to where they were running out of room on the table.

itzMS

hardlyhannah said:

*threadjack*

This is something I have been wondering about myself. I am going to have a table - that isn't what I am am questioning. It will have a cardbox and my guestbook on it.

What I am second guessing is that my venue is on the second floor, and isn't very big. So when you come up the stairs/elevator and walk the hall to get to the space - the table will basically be the first thing you see. It's really the only place that will be 'out of the way' from the rest of the room - but is is poor to have that be the first thing?

I'd be more concerned about the security of the cardbox/gifts than I would the etiquette of where the table is located.

If it's right by a set of stairs or elevator...someone could easily grab/steal something and get away quickly. Not worth it to me.

AddieCake

We had a gift table, and yes, people brought presents. All gifts that we received were brought to the wedding; not a single one was sent to our house. 

hardlyhannah

itzMS said:

show previous quotes

hardlyhannah said:

*threadjack*

This is something I have been wondering about myself. I am going to have a table - that isn't what I am am questioning. It will have a cardbox and my guestbook on it.

What I am second guessing is that my venue is on the second floor, and isn't very big. So when you come up the stairs/elevator and walk the hall to get to the space - the table will basically be the first thing you see. It's really the only place that will be 'out of the way' from the rest of the room - but is is poor to have that be the first thing?

I'd be more concerned about the security of the cardbox/gifts than I would the etiquette of where the table is located.

If it's right by a set of stairs or elevator...someone could easily grab/steal something and get away quickly. Not worth it to me.

I guess I don't see this as an issue so much, but that might just be me being naive. Definitely something to think about. I will have to ask our coordinator how security for that has been done in the past.

AJuliaNJ

We had a small table with the box for cards and people put the gifts there, too. Our cake was to the left of our sweetheart table, and the gift/card table was to the left and a little behind our cake. I didn't realize that was rude. I had no role in setting up and the idea of a gift table never crossed my mind once.

We did receive a few physical gifts. 

Regarding security, some people have card boxes that are locked in some way. We didn't. 

RebeccaB88

Around here, very few people send gifts to the home ahead of time, usually only if they aren't attending the wedding.  My sister's wedding, it took 2 suv's and a sedan to bring everything home from the reception. Most people bring them with.  Everyone has a gift table, and it's usually pretty obvious what it is without a sign or anything on it.  I'd actually never heard of having a card box until I came to TK.  People here just leave cards on the gift table. 

hordol

We had two gifts sent to our house, but the rest were brought to the wedding. About 1/3 of the guests brought cards and 2/3 brought gifts. So we needed a gift table, and a large one at that. It kind of depends on your circle--I've noticed on the Knot that a lot of people have circles where gifts are for showers and cards/cash are for weddings, but it is not like that in my circle. I would have a table just in case. Worst case scenario you have an empty table and no one will think twice about it.

loca4pook

I received a gfew gifts, but most gae cash envelopes so it is best to have some type of MONEY holder..like a box..or a birdcage or something

harper0813

hardlyhannah said:

*threadjack*

This is something I have been wondering about myself. I am going to have a table - that isn't what I am am questioning. It will have a cardbox and my guestbook on it.

What I am second guessing is that my venue is on the second floor, and isn't very big. So when you come up the stairs/elevator and walk the hall to get to the space - the table will basically be the first thing you see. It's really the only place that will be 'out of the way' from the rest of the room - but is is poor to have that be the first thing?

I don't think it would be rude. Guests will want to get rid of their "extras" (coat, gift, card) right away anyway. Our venue is arranged exactly the same way. The table will be in view of a staff member monitoring the door (you have to buzz into the venue by ringing a doorbell) I'll probably have them remove the card box and anything left on that table while the ceremony is going on upstairs so it's out of the way and safe.