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Bridesmaids With Tattoos

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Re: Bridesmaids With Tattoos

  • cmelliottcmelliott member
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    Actually, I think it's perfectly fine to ask her to cover up her tattoos if she wants to be in the wedding. I have a bridesmaid who has a large tattoo on her chest and I asked her to cover it up and she was fine. That doesn't mean I love her any less, I just had a few small stipulations for my wedding. And I was fine if she said no she didn't want to be in the wedding because of that. We don't let petty stuff like that ruin our friendship. I just have a clear vision of what I want in the wedding and tattoos are not one of them. I don't have any tattoos myself but I'm not against them and they don't bother me, I'm just going for like a romantic, classic look and black ink doesn't really fit in lol. It is you and your fiance's day, if that's something you prefer, just ask her and if she's not okay with it just let her decline and if you're good friends, everything will be fine.
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  • cmelliottcmelliott member
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    To be kind though, you could offer to pay for the cover up since it's something you want.
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  • cmelliottcmelliott member
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    To be kind though, you could offer to pay for the cover up since it's something you want.
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  • cmelliottcmelliott member
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    I wouldn't kick her out, but I would let her decline if it's something that bothered her. I see no issue with having small things you want your way. And makeup (which can be washed off right afterwards) is not a big thing to ask lol. You put it on your face don't you to make yourself look better? Maybe you shouldn't do that if it's such a big deal to put it over a tattoo for 20 minutes.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    cmelliott said:
    I wouldn't kick her out, but I would let her decline if it's something that bothered her. I see no issue with having small things you want your way. And makeup (which can be washed off right afterwards) is not a big thing to ask lol. You put it on your face don't you to make yourself look better? Maybe you shouldn't do that if it's such a big deal to put it over a tattoo for 20 minutes.
    Putting makeup on your face to make yourself feel pretty is completely different then forcing one your dear friends to cover up her tattoo just because you don't like it.  How can you not see that difference?  By asking her to cover up her tattoo you are basically telling her that you do not like how she looks right now and would like her to look different (and in your mind, better) for your wedding pictures.  If she is a dear friend you should lover her as is, no change required for your wedding day.

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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    Actually, I think it's perfectly fine to ask her to cover up her tattoos if she wants to be in the wedding. I have a bridesmaid who has a large tattoo on her chest and I asked her to cover it up and she was fine. That doesn't mean I love her any less, I just had a few small stipulations for my wedding. And I was fine if she said no she didn't want to be in the wedding because of that. We don't let petty stuff like that ruin our friendship. I just have a clear vision of what I want in the wedding and tattoos are not one of them. I don't have any tattoos myself but I'm not against them and they don't bother me, I'm just going for like a romantic, classic look and black ink doesn't really fit in lol. It is you and your fiance's day, if that's something you prefer, just ask her and if she's not okay with it just let her decline and if you're good friends, everything will be fine.
    Were you the same bride I read about a few weeks back that required one of her BMs to remove her engagement ring for the wedding since it was bigger? Seems like you value pictures over friendships. Personally I think that's shitty.
    Wow, seriously? That is beyond shitty.

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  • banana468banana468 member
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    cmelliott said:

    I wouldn't kick her out, but I would let her decline if it's something that bothered her. I see no issue with having small things you want your way. And makeup (which can be washed off right afterwards) is not a big thing to ask lol. You put it on your face don't you to make yourself look better? Maybe you shouldn't do that if it's such a big deal to put it over a tattoo for 20 minutes.

    Huh?!

    YOU put on makeup because that's YOUR BODY and YOUR choice. Do you not see how mind blowingly controlling it is to require your BP to do things to THEIR bodies?!

    Any friend who put this as a stipulation of being a BP member solely based on her personal preference would find herself without a BM. My tattoo is hidden but if I found out you did this I would probably back out of your BP on principle.

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  • cmelliottcmelliott member
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    No, I wasn't that bride lol. And no one is forcing on this thread. When I first asked her I explained I would prefer if her tattoo was just covered in makeup for the ceremony and pictures and if that would be okay? She said she was perfectly fine. It's all about communication, dears. There's nothing wrong with asking for small things for a day you only get once. I would do anything temporary for her for her wedding, just like I've only asked for temporary things. And truth be told, that's the only thing I've asked of anyone in the wedding party, was just to temporarily cover up any large tattoos. And no this is has nothing to do with taking away from ME, I just have a clear vision of my day and large tattoos is not part of it. I'm sorry you guys don't have as good as relationships with your BM that you can't ask them about it.
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  • msuprincess04msuprincess04 member
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    cmelliott said:
    I wouldn't kick her out, but I would let her decline if it's something that bothered her.
    But, if you aren't giving her the choice to wear her tattoos and be a BM, then, in essance, you are kicking her out. You are asking her to be a BM, then saying "Oh wait, you won't cover your tattoos, nevermind you can quit."
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    cmelliott said:
    No, I wasn't that bride lol. And no one is forcing on this thread. When I first asked her I explained I would prefer if her tattoo was just covered in makeup for the ceremony and pictures and if that would be okay? She said she was perfectly fine. It's all about communication, dears. There's nothing wrong with asking for small things for a day you only get once. I would do anything temporary for her for her wedding, just like I've only asked for temporary things. And truth be told, that's the only thing I've asked of anyone in the wedding party, was just to temporarily cover up any large tattoos. And no this is has nothing to do with taking away from ME, I just have a clear vision of my day and large tattoos is not part of it. I'm sorry you guys don't have as good as relationships with your BM that you can't ask them about it.
    First, please stop using "lol" after sentences that aren't funny jokes.  It just doesn't make sense.

    What would you have said or done if this friend said that she would not cover her tattoos?

    And I am sorry but tattooed covered or not, a friend is a friend and should not be asked to change her appearance for one damn day.

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  • cmelliottcmelliott member
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    If she still really wanted to be in the wedding but was morally against covering up, then I would have let it go. We just have communication skills and I can explain to her what I want and we can talk about any issues. And I use "lol" when I'm "laughing out loud" at you guys for saying ridiculous things....lol.
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  • grumbledoregrumbledore member
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    PeachesNCream22 said:
    Maybe you can give all your bridesmaids shawls if you're really concerned. Have you tried bringing it up nicely with her? If she's a good friend you can talk to her honestly and feel out how strongly she feels.
    Nope.  It's rude no matter how nicely it is mentioned.

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  • banana468banana468 member
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    cmelliott said:

    No, I wasn't that bride lol. And no one is forcing on this thread. When I first asked her I explained I would prefer if her tattoo was just covered in makeup for the ceremony and pictures and if that would be okay? She said she was perfectly fine. It's all about communication, dears. There's nothing wrong with asking for small things for a day you only get once. I would do anything temporary for her for her wedding, just like I've only asked for temporary things. And truth be told, that's the only thing I've asked of anyone in the wedding party, was just to temporarily cover up any large tattoos. And no this is has nothing to do with taking away from ME, I just have a clear vision of my day and large tattoos is not part of it. I'm sorry you guys don't have as good as relationships with your BM that you can't ask them about it.


    I have great communication with plenty of people. That hardly means that they can ask me to do shitty things if it's done with a smile. Communication works both ways and your good friends could also respond with a resounding "FUCK NO," in the name of clear communication.

    Also, stop with the bullshit that this is a small request. A small request is asking your BM to wear green. Asking someone to change their appearance to suit YOUR desired vision is a HUGE request. That you wouldn't have someone in your wedding who didn't comply proves that it's a huge request to you as well.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    cmelliott said:
    If she still really wanted to be in the wedding but was morally against covering up, then I would have let it go. We just have communication skills and I can explain to her what I want and we can talk about any issues. And I use "lol" when I'm "laughing out loud" at you guys for saying ridiculous things....lol.
    Shouldn't it be if you really wanted her to be in the wedding?  Not the other way around?  So you would be fine if your dumb ass stipulation of "no tattoos showing" prevented what is supposed to be your nearest and dearest from being in your wedding?  Seriously?  Your soft, romantic, classic wedding vision is that much more important then your friends?

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  • cmelliottcmelliott member
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    It's different if I'm asking them to get a tattoo or dye their hair or lose weight, that's "changing your appearance". Covering up a tattoo is the same process as covering up a blemish on your face (not that I'm comparing the two cause I know y'all would eat me up for that lol). And if she said no, then I would let her step down from being a bridesmaid if that how she felt. OR if she adamantly wanted to be in the wedding but for whatever reason refused to cover up her tattoo, then I would let it go.
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  • cmelliottcmelliott member
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    Maggie0829 said:
    cmelliott said:
    If she still really wanted to be in the wedding but was morally against covering up, then I would have let it go. We just have communication skills and I can explain to her what I want and we can talk about any issues. And I use "lol" when I'm "laughing out loud" at you guys for saying ridiculous things....lol.
    Shouldn't it be if you really wanted her to be in the wedding?  Not the other way around?  So you would be fine if your dumb ass stipulation of "no tattoos showing" prevented what is supposed to be your nearest and dearest from being in your wedding?  Seriously?  Your soft, romantic, classic wedding vision is that much more important then your friends?
    If it was more important, I wouldn't have asked her in the first place or paid for everything for the bridesmaids to keep them in the wedding (they can't afford a lot). One simple request of temporarily covering up a large tattoo is not unreasonable. However, as I've stated, if it's really important to not cover it up and because of that she would prefer to just step down, that's her prerogative. It's all up to them because, unlike how you guys like to make people out to seem, I do care about her, otherwise I wouldn't have wanted her in there in the first place. If I didn't care, I would have said no I don't want your tattoo, you can't be a bridesmaid.
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  • Salsera29Salsera29 member
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    cmelliott said:
    No, I wasn't that bride lol. And no one is forcing on this thread. When I first asked her I explained I would prefer if her tattoo was just covered in makeup for the ceremony and pictures and if that would be okay? She said she was perfectly fine. It's all about communication, dears. There's nothing wrong with asking for small things for a day you only get once. I would do anything temporary for her for her wedding, just like I've only asked for temporary things. And truth be told, that's the only thing I've asked of anyone in the wedding party, was just to temporarily cover up any large tattoos. And no this is has nothing to do with taking away from ME, I just have a clear vision of my day and large tattoos is not part of it. I'm sorry you guys don't have as good as relationships with your BM that you can't ask them about it.
    You sound delightful. I wish I was your BM. 
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    So covering up something permanent isn't asking them to change their appearance?! How the hell can you make that conclusion?

    And this isn't remotely comparable to covering a blemish. The makeup used is expensive and thick and hardly looks natural. Will you be funding the cost for your doormat - I mean bridesmaid?
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  • cmelliottcmelliott member
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    banana468 said:
    So covering up something permanent isn't asking them to change their appearance?! How the hell can you make that conclusion? And this isn't remotely comparable to covering a blemish. The makeup used is expensive and thick and hardly looks natural. Will you be funding the cost for your doormat - I mean bridesmaid?
    You guys don't argue very well on this thread. You ignore everything that contradicts your arguments. As I stated in the post that you're commenting on, I was NOT comparing the blemish and the tattoo, I just said it was the same process. And of course I will fund it. I've funded everything else for them because I realize weddings are expensive and it's not their wedding to pay for. And it's only fair that if I'm doing such a dastardly act of asking for a coverup that I should pay for it.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    Covering up a blemish is not the same process as covering up a tattoo.  As banana said makeup used to cover up tattoos is not only thick and a major time consuming process to put on right it is also extremely expensive to have done and will not look natural.  It will almost always smudge and come off on their and others clothing (hoping she gives you a big hug in your white dress).  While covering up a blemish takes all of about a minute with a $8 concealer.

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  • banana468banana468 member
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    cmelliott said:



    banana468 said:

    So covering up something permanent isn't asking them to change their appearance?! How the hell can you make that conclusion?

    And this isn't remotely comparable to covering a blemish. The makeup used is expensive and thick and hardly looks natural. Will you be funding the cost for your doormat - I mean bridesmaid?

    You guys don't argue very well on this thread. You ignore everything that contradicts your arguments. As I stated in the post that you're commenting on, I was NOT comparing the blemish and the tattoo, I just said it was the same process. And of course I will fund it. I've funded everything else for them because I realize weddings are expensive and it's not their wedding to pay for. And it's only fair that if I'm doing such a dastardly act of asking for a coverup that I should pay for it.


    I'm arguing just fine. You just don't like it that your points are Swiss cheese.

    My point is that the makeup that covers a tattoo is designed particularly for the process. It's expensive, thick, difficult to apply and rarely looks natural.

    You seem to want to believe that this is a small request but yet you want people to change who they are to suit your vision.
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  • daveANDkristendaveANDkristen member
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    cmelliott said:
    Maggie0829 said:
    cmelliott said:
    If she still really wanted to be in the wedding but was morally against covering up, then I would have let it go. We just have communication skills and I can explain to her what I want and we can talk about any issues. And I use "lol" when I'm "laughing out loud" at you guys for saying ridiculous things....lol.
    Shouldn't it be if you really wanted her to be in the wedding?  Not the other way around?  So you would be fine if your dumb ass stipulation of "no tattoos showing" prevented what is supposed to be your nearest and dearest from being in your wedding?  Seriously?  Your soft, romantic, classic wedding vision is that much more important then your friends?
    If it was more important, I wouldn't have asked her in the first place or paid for everything for the bridesmaids to keep them in the wedding (they can't afford a lot). One simple request of temporarily covering up a large tattoo is not unreasonable. However, as I've stated, if it's really important to not cover it up and because of that she would prefer to just step down, that's her prerogative. It's all up to them because, unlike how you guys like to make people out to seem, I do care about her, otherwise I wouldn't have wanted her in there in the first place. If I didn't care, I would have said no I don't want your tattoo, you can't be a bridesmaid.


    Your vision obviously IS more important than your friends feelings on the topic, because you said several times that if she didn't want to coverup you'd be happy to "let" her step down.  That means that if she does not comply with your vision, she will not be a part of it. 

    I'm sure that you do care very much about your friend, but what you have asked of her is very rude.  I'm sure you weren't trying to be shitty, but everyone else on this thread except for you (and maybe OP) have said it's a shitty thing to do.  I can't believe you can seriously still think it's not.

    Do you think that when you look back at your wedding album your BM's chest piece is going to detract from you?  I really can't understand how one's "wedding vision" would be affected by someone else having a tattoo.

     

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  • cmelliottcmelliott member
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    daveANDkristen said:
    cmelliott said:
    Maggie0829 said:
    cmelliott said:
    If she still really wanted to be in the wedding but was morally against covering up, then I would have let it go. We just have communication skills and I can explain to her what I want and we can talk about any issues. And I use "lol" when I'm "laughing out loud" at you guys for saying ridiculous things....lol.
    Shouldn't it be if you really wanted her to be in the wedding?  Not the other way around?  So you would be fine if your dumb ass stipulation of "no tattoos showing" prevented what is supposed to be your nearest and dearest from being in your wedding?  Seriously?  Your soft, romantic, classic wedding vision is that much more important then your friends?
    If it was more important, I wouldn't have asked her in the first place or paid for everything for the bridesmaids to keep them in the wedding (they can't afford a lot). One simple request of temporarily covering up a large tattoo is not unreasonable. However, as I've stated, if it's really important to not cover it up and because of that she would prefer to just step down, that's her prerogative. It's all up to them because, unlike how you guys like to make people out to seem, I do care about her, otherwise I wouldn't have wanted her in there in the first place. If I didn't care, I would have said no I don't want your tattoo, you can't be a bridesmaid.


    Your vision obviously IS more important than your friends feelings on the topic, because you said several times that if she didn't want to coverup you'd be happy to "let" her step down.  That means that if she does not comply with your vision, she will not be a part of it. 

    I'm sure that you do care very much about your friend, but what you have asked of her is very rude.  I'm sure you weren't trying to be shitty, but everyone else on this thread except for you (and maybe OP) have said it's a shitty thing to do.  I can't believe you can seriously still think it's not.

    Do you think that when you look back at your wedding album your BM's chest piece is going to detract from you?  I really can't understand how one's "wedding vision" would be affected by someone else having a tattoo.

     

    Once again, you're leaving out everything that detracts from your argument. In that same post you're commenting on, I stated if she would prefer to be in the wedding and just couldn't bear covering it up, I would be fine with that. Also, I've said earlier it has nothing to do with detracting from me, it just doesn't fit in with how I've envisioned my day.
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