Bridesmaids With Tattoos

banana468

cmelliott said:

daveANDkristen said:

cmelliott said:

Maggie0829 said:

cmelliott said:

If she still really wanted to be in the wedding but was morally against covering up, then I would have let it go. We just have communication skills and I can explain to her what I want and we can talk about any issues. And I use "lol" when I'm "laughing out loud" at you guys for saying ridiculous things....lol.

Shouldn't it be if you really wanted her to be in the wedding?  Not the other way around?  So you would be fine if your dumb ass stipulation of "no tattoos showing" prevented what is supposed to be your nearest and dearest from being in your wedding?  Seriously?  Your soft, romantic, classic wedding vision is that much more important then your friends?

If it was more important, I wouldn't have asked her in the first place or paid for everything for the bridesmaids to keep them in the wedding (they can't afford a lot). One simple request of temporarily covering up a large tattoo is not unreasonable. However, as I've stated, if it's really important to not cover it up and because of that she would prefer to just step down, that's her prerogative. It's all up to them because, unlike how you guys like to make people out to seem, I do care about her, otherwise I wouldn't have wanted her in there in the first place. If I didn't care, I would have said no I don't want your tattoo, you can't be a bridesmaid.

Your vision obviously IS more important than your friends feelings on the topic, because you said several times that if she didn't want to coverup you'd be happy to "let" her step down.  That means that if she does not comply with your vision, she will not be a part of it. 

I'm sure that you do care very much about your friend, but what you have asked of her is very rude.  I'm sure you weren't trying to be shitty, but everyone else on this thread except for you (and maybe OP) have said it's a shitty thing to do.  I can't believe you can seriously still think it's not.

Do you think that when you look back at your wedding album your BM's chest piece is going to detract from you?  I really can't understand how one's "wedding vision" would be affected by someone else having a tattoo.

 

Once again, you're leaving out everything that detracts from your argument. In that same post you're commenting on, I stated if she would prefer to be in the wedding and just couldn't bear covering it up, I would be fine with that. Also, I've said earlier it has nothing to do with detracting from me, it just doesn't fit in with how I've envisioned my day.



And you're missing the point that you shouldn't have ever asked her at all. That you did at all was rude. There's no amount of back peddling you can do to spin it into an OK action that paints you as the picture of the perfect bride.

Maggie0829

@cmelliott - what I don't get is that you have said numerous times that if your friend really wanted to be in the wedding but did not want to cover up her tattoo that you would just let it go and be fine with it.  So why in the world is asking her to cover it up in the first place such a huge deal?  If, in the end, you will be fine with her showing her tattoos then I don't really see the point in even asking her to cover it in the first place.

And also please for the love of god stop fucking stating that it doesn't fit in with the vision of your wedding day.  Seriously.  Her tattoos will not ruin your vision.  Heck, most guests won't even notice them let alone say "oh this would have been such a romantic wedding if it wasn't for that girls tattoos."

cmelliott

Maggie0829 said:

@cmelliott - what I don't get is that you have said numerous times that if your friend really wanted to be in the wedding but did not want to cover up her tattoo that you would just let it go and be fine with it.  So why in the world is asking her to cover it up in the first place such a huge deal?  If, in the end, you will be fine with her showing her tattoos then I don't really see the point in even asking her to cover it in the first place.

And also please for the love of god stop fucking stating that it doesn't fit in with the vision of your wedding day.  Seriously.  Her tattoos will not ruin your vision.  Heck, most guests won't even notice them let alone say "oh this would have been such a romantic wedding if it wasn't for that girls tattoos."

I asked her because I would prefer no large tattoos in my wedding. That's my VISION. Everyone knows what they want and what they don't want. You're ENVISIONING. However, as I've stated numerous times, if it's something she really didn't want then I would have been perfectly fine. There's nothing wrong in just talking about it and it turned out she didn't see an issue with covering up for 20-30 minutes. Maybe she realized that it wasn't a big deal and that it is our day, me and my fiance. Maybe we don't see that as ruining our friendship.

daveANDkristen

cmelliott said:

Once again, you're leaving out everything that detracts from your argument. In that same post you're commenting on, I stated if she would prefer to be in the wedding and just couldn't bear covering it up, I would be fine with that. Also, I've said earlier it has nothing to do with detracting from me, it just doesn't fit in with how I've envisioned my day.

Does it make you feel like you are proving yourself right by saying the bolded?  I am not ignoring your stupid fucking comebacks.  I'm telling you that ASKING HER TO COVER HER TATTOOS IS RUDE. 

If you want all of your BMs to wear a shawl or shrug for modesty, knock yourself out.  But asking one girl to cover a part of her body with makeup to make your wedding more visually appealing is asshatty.  What if you had a BM who does not normally wear makeup on her face and doesn't like to?  Would you ask her to wear makeup for your "special day"?

Why did you say she was welcome to step down if she didn't want to cover them and then say "well if she really doesn't want to then that's ok".  Then don't ask her to cover them in the first place. 

Maggie0829

cmelliott said:

Maggie0829 said:

@cmelliott - what I don't get is that you have said numerous times that if your friend really wanted to be in the wedding but did not want to cover up her tattoo that you would just let it go and be fine with it.  So why in the world is asking her to cover it up in the first place such a huge deal?  If, in the end, you will be fine with her showing her tattoos then I don't really see the point in even asking her to cover it in the first place.

And also please for the love of god stop fucking stating that it doesn't fit in with the vision of your wedding day.  Seriously.  Her tattoos will not ruin your vision.  Heck, most guests won't even notice them let alone say "oh this would have been such a romantic wedding if it wasn't for that girls tattoos."

I asked her because I would prefer no large tattoos in my wedding. That's my VISION. Everyone knows what they want and what they don't want. You're ENVISIONING. However, as I've stated numerous times, if it's something she really didn't want then I would have been perfectly fine. There's nothing wrong in just talking about it and it turned out she didn't see an issue with covering up for 20-30 minutes. Maybe she realized that it wasn't a big deal and that it is our day, me and my fiance. Maybe we don't see that as ruining our friendship.

Fuck your vision.  Your wedding vision is not more important then your friend.  And if you can accept your friend, tattoo and all, any other day of the fucking year then you should be able to accept her just the way she is on your wedding day.

climbingsingle

Please take this advice. I got married in 2004. I was young. I thought all of this stupid shit mattered. Guess what? It didn't. I don't remember how anyone wore their hair, or what their nails looked like, or what shoes they had. Just like you, I had a vision. It was fucking DUMB. IMO, if you want to continue your friendship with this girl, don't make her cover her tattoo. I have a very hard time believing she's really THAT ok with it. She can either cover it or not be included?! Yeah, I'm sure she didn't feel pressured to agree at all. *eyeroll*

cmelliott

daveANDkristen said:

cmelliott said:

Once again, you're leaving out everything that detracts from your argument. In that same post you're commenting on, I stated if she would prefer to be in the wedding and just couldn't bear covering it up, I would be fine with that. Also, I've said earlier it has nothing to do with detracting from me, it just doesn't fit in with how I've envisioned my day.

Does it make you feel like you are proving yourself right by saying the bolded?  I am not ignoring your stupid fucking comebacks.  I'm telling you that ASKING HER TO COVER HER TATTOOS IS RUDE. 

If you want all of your BMs to wear a shawl or shrug for modesty, knock yourself out.  But asking one girl to cover a part of her body with makeup to make your wedding more visually appealing is asshatty.  What if you had a BM who does not normally wear makeup on her face and doesn't like to?  Would you ask her to wear makeup for your "special day"?

Why did you say she was welcome to step down if she didn't want to cover them and then say "well if she really doesn't want to then that's ok".  Then don't ask her to cover them in the first place. 

I would definitely do a shawl but hers is on her chest so I'd have to choke her with a shawl to cover it up lol. I have friends who don't wear makeup and who actually chose to wear makeup on that day without me even having to ask (however I truthfully hadn't even thought to ask, it just didn't cross my mind). I never wear makeup but of course being as I'm the bride I will. As I stated before, I asked her because the tattoo is large and in a conspicuous place, and since I don't want to lose a friend, I would let it go if it was a big deal to her, but thank god we're not anal people because it wasn't. I actually love her tattoo but for the one day, I just want everyone looking in similar fashion and a simple request to cover it up is not a big deal.

grumbledore

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Having a good relationship with your BMs means accepting them for who they are and accepting their tattoos, girlfriend. 

This.

banana468

Do you not get that the mere asking is friendship ending for some people?

Essentially you're saying, " I really don't like that part of you and it will make my wedding pictures ugly but if you really want to show it then OK." Do you not understand how shitty that makes a woman feel?

Swazzle

Did you seriously compare covering up a blemish to covering up a tattoo? No. Just no. 

I choose to have tattoos on my body. They are forms of art and a way to express myself. If I wanted them covered up, I never would have gotten them in the first place. 

Do I really need to explain to you what a blemish is and why I do not choose to have a blemish and why I would choose to cover one up?

daveANDkristen

cmelliott said:

daveANDkristen said:

cmelliott said:

Once again, you're leaving out everything that detracts from your argument. In that same post you're commenting on, I stated if she would prefer to be in the wedding and just couldn't bear covering it up, I would be fine with that. Also, I've said earlier it has nothing to do with detracting from me, it just doesn't fit in with how I've envisioned my day.

Does it make you feel like you are proving yourself right by saying the bolded?  I am not ignoring your stupid fucking comebacks.  I'm telling you that ASKING HER TO COVER HER TATTOOS IS RUDE. 

If you want all of your BMs to wear a shawl or shrug for modesty, knock yourself out.  But asking one girl to cover a part of her body with makeup to make your wedding more visually appealing is asshatty.  What if you had a BM who does not normally wear makeup on her face and doesn't like to?  Would you ask her to wear makeup for your "special day"?

Why did you say she was welcome to step down if she didn't want to cover them and then say "well if she really doesn't want to then that's ok".  Then don't ask her to cover them in the first place. 

I would definitely do a shawl but hers is on her chest so I'd have to choke her with a shawl to cover it up lol. I have friends who don't wear makeup and who actually chose to wear makeup on that day without me even having to ask (however I truthfully hadn't even thought to ask, it just didn't cross my mind). I never wear makeup but of course being as I'm the bride I will. As I stated before, I asked her because the tattoo is large and in a conspicuous place, and since I don't want to lose a friend, I would let it go if it was a big deal to her, but thank god we're not anal people because it wasn't. I actually love her tattoo but for the one day, I just want everyone looking in similar fashion and a simple request to cover it up is not a big deal.

I'm not sure you know what "anal" means but let's pretend that you are.  If my best friend singled me out and asked me to cover up a part of my body because she didn't want it in her wedding photos, I would think she was being a bitch.  That doesn't make me anal, it makes me a person whose feelings would be hurt that my appearance was not suitable to support my best friend by standing next to her on her wedding day.

Salsera29

Maggie0829 said:

cmelliott said:

Maggie0829 said:

@cmelliott - what I don't get is that you have said numerous times that if your friend really wanted to be in the wedding but did not want to cover up her tattoo that you would just let it go and be fine with it.  So why in the world is asking her to cover it up in the first place such a huge deal?  If, in the end, you will be fine with her showing her tattoos then I don't really see the point in even asking her to cover it in the first place.

And also please for the love of god stop fucking stating that it doesn't fit in with the vision of your wedding day.  Seriously.  Her tattoos will not ruin your vision.  Heck, most guests won't even notice them let alone say "oh this would have been such a romantic wedding if it wasn't for that girls tattoos."

I asked her because I would prefer no large tattoos in my wedding. That's my VISION. Everyone knows what they want and what they don't want. You're ENVISIONING. However, as I've stated numerous times, if it's something she really didn't want then I would have been perfectly fine. There's nothing wrong in just talking about it and it turned out she didn't see an issue with covering up for 20-30 minutes. Maybe she realized that it wasn't a big deal and that it is our day, me and my fiance. Maybe we don't see that as ruining our friendship.

Fuck your vision.  Your wedding vision is not more important then your friend.  And if you can accept your friend, tattoo and all, any other day of the fucking year then you should be able to accept her just the way she is on your wedding day.

HAHAHA! I think this phrase needs to be used more often on TK. Somebody should make a "fuck your vision" meme to be used whenever appropriate.  

cmelliott

Swazzle said:

Did you seriously compare covering up a blemish to covering up a tattoo? No. Just no. 

I choose to have tattoos on my body. They are forms of art and a way to express myself. If I wanted them covered up, I never would have gotten them in the first place. 

Do I really need to explain to you what a blemish is and why I do not choose to have a blemish and why I would choose to cover one up?

I'm not sure you know how to read. I think I said...twice now? I'm not comparing a tattoo to a blemish.

grumbledore

cmelliott said:

Maggie0829 said:

@cmelliott - what I don't get is that you have said numerous times that if your friend really wanted to be in the wedding but did not want to cover up her tattoo that you would just let it go and be fine with it.  So why in the world is asking her to cover it up in the first place such a huge deal?  If, in the end, you will be fine with her showing her tattoos then I don't really see the point in even asking her to cover it in the first place.

And also please for the love of god stop fucking stating that it doesn't fit in with the vision of your wedding day.  Seriously.  Her tattoos will not ruin your vision.  Heck, most guests won't even notice them let alone say "oh this would have been such a romantic wedding if it wasn't for that girls tattoos."

I asked her because I would prefer no large tattoos in my wedding. That's my VISION. Everyone knows what they want and what they don't want. You're ENVISIONING. However, as I've stated numerous times, if it's something she really didn't want then I would have been perfectly fine. There's nothing wrong in just talking about it and it turned out she didn't see an issue with covering up for 20-30 minutes. Maybe she realized that it wasn't a big deal and that it is our day, me and my fiance. Maybe we don't see that as ruining our friendship.

My VISION is a VISION and stop badmouthing my VISION no matter how selfish my VISION is because I'm a bride and it's my SPECIAL DAY and I HAVE A VISION SO SHUT UP.

That's what you sound like.  Chill out.  Everyone thinks you are being unreasonable.  Maybe it's you and not us.  Just a thought.

cmelliott

daveANDkristen said:

cmelliott said:

daveANDkristen said:

cmelliott said:

Once again, you're leaving out everything that detracts from your argument. In that same post you're commenting on, I stated if she would prefer to be in the wedding and just couldn't bear covering it up, I would be fine with that. Also, I've said earlier it has nothing to do with detracting from me, it just doesn't fit in with how I've envisioned my day.

Does it make you feel like you are proving yourself right by saying the bolded?  I am not ignoring your stupid fucking comebacks.  I'm telling you that ASKING HER TO COVER HER TATTOOS IS RUDE. 

If you want all of your BMs to wear a shawl or shrug for modesty, knock yourself out.  But asking one girl to cover a part of her body with makeup to make your wedding more visually appealing is asshatty.  What if you had a BM who does not normally wear makeup on her face and doesn't like to?  Would you ask her to wear makeup for your "special day"?

Why did you say she was welcome to step down if she didn't want to cover them and then say "well if she really doesn't want to then that's ok".  Then don't ask her to cover them in the first place. 

I would definitely do a shawl but hers is on her chest so I'd have to choke her with a shawl to cover it up lol. I have friends who don't wear makeup and who actually chose to wear makeup on that day without me even having to ask (however I truthfully hadn't even thought to ask, it just didn't cross my mind). I never wear makeup but of course being as I'm the bride I will. As I stated before, I asked her because the tattoo is large and in a conspicuous place, and since I don't want to lose a friend, I would let it go if it was a big deal to her, but thank god we're not anal people because it wasn't. I actually love her tattoo but for the one day, I just want everyone looking in similar fashion and a simple request to cover it up is not a big deal.

I'm not sure you know what "anal" means but let's pretend that you are.  If my best friend singled me out and asked me to cover up a part of my body because she didn't want it in her wedding photos, I would think she was being a bitch.  That doesn't make me anal, it makes me a person whose feelings would be hurt that my appearance was not suitable to support my best friend by standing next to her on her wedding day.

Maybe you don't have enough self confidence or a good enough friendship to have that conversation?

cowgirl8238

Hey everyone lets stop feeding into smelliots ways...she is already trolling the etiquette board on Honeymoon registries too!!!!!

cmelliott

grumbledore said:

cmelliott said:

Maggie0829 said:

@cmelliott - what I don't get is that you have said numerous times that if your friend really wanted to be in the wedding but did not want to cover up her tattoo that you would just let it go and be fine with it.  So why in the world is asking her to cover it up in the first place such a huge deal?  If, in the end, you will be fine with her showing her tattoos then I don't really see the point in even asking her to cover it in the first place.

And also please for the love of god stop fucking stating that it doesn't fit in with the vision of your wedding day.  Seriously.  Her tattoos will not ruin your vision.  Heck, most guests won't even notice them let alone say "oh this would have been such a romantic wedding if it wasn't for that girls tattoos."

I asked her because I would prefer no large tattoos in my wedding. That's my VISION. Everyone knows what they want and what they don't want. You're ENVISIONING. However, as I've stated numerous times, if it's something she really didn't want then I would have been perfectly fine. There's nothing wrong in just talking about it and it turned out she didn't see an issue with covering up for 20-30 minutes. Maybe she realized that it wasn't a big deal and that it is our day, me and my fiance. Maybe we don't see that as ruining our friendship.

My VISION is a VISION and stop badmouthing my VISION no matter how selfish my VISION is because I'm a bride and it's my SPECIAL DAY and I HAVE A VISION SO SHUT UP.

That's what you sound like.  Chill out.  Everyone thinks you are being unreasonable.  Maybe it's you and not us.  Just a thought.

Oh, I only capslocked to annoy the person who told me to stop saying vision lol. She was getting very worked up about my VISION.

daveANDkristen

cmelliott said:

 

Maybe you don't have enough self confidence or a good enough friendship to have that conversation?

Maybe you are a selfish asshole.

climbingsingle

Self confidence and rudeness are two very different things. What you did was rude. 

cmelliott

Hey everyone lets stop feeding into smelliots ways...she is already trolling the etiquette board on Honeymoon registries too!!!!!

I'm not trolling. I'm having two conversations with people who disagree with what I have to say lol. That's very legal to do here.

grumbledore

cmelliott said:

grumbledore said:

cmelliott said:

Maggie0829 said:

@cmelliott - what I don't get is that you have said numerous times that if your friend really wanted to be in the wedding but did not want to cover up her tattoo that you would just let it go and be fine with it.  So why in the world is asking her to cover it up in the first place such a huge deal?  If, in the end, you will be fine with her showing her tattoos then I don't really see the point in even asking her to cover it in the first place.

And also please for the love of god stop fucking stating that it doesn't fit in with the vision of your wedding day.  Seriously.  Her tattoos will not ruin your vision.  Heck, most guests won't even notice them let alone say "oh this would have been such a romantic wedding if it wasn't for that girls tattoos."

I asked her because I would prefer no large tattoos in my wedding. That's my VISION. Everyone knows what they want and what they don't want. You're ENVISIONING. However, as I've stated numerous times, if it's something she really didn't want then I would have been perfectly fine. There's nothing wrong in just talking about it and it turned out she didn't see an issue with covering up for 20-30 minutes. Maybe she realized that it wasn't a big deal and that it is our day, me and my fiance. Maybe we don't see that as ruining our friendship.

My VISION is a VISION and stop badmouthing my VISION no matter how selfish my VISION is because I'm a bride and it's my SPECIAL DAY and I HAVE A VISION SO SHUT UP.

That's what you sound like.  Chill out.  Everyone thinks you are being unreasonable.  Maybe it's you and not us.  Just a thought.

Oh, I only capslocked to annoy the person who told me to stop saying vision lol. She was getting very worked up about my VISION.

Your friend is probably pissed at you but too polite to say anything.  The more you talk, the more you sound like a self-righteous spoiled little brat.  Have a nice wedding. 

grumbledore

Also, if you don't want advice, don't post on a public forum asking for advice.  Christ.

Swazzle

cmelliott said:

Swazzle said:

Did you seriously compare covering up a blemish to covering up a tattoo? No. Just no. 

I choose to have tattoos on my body. They are forms of art and a way to express myself. If I wanted them covered up, I never would have gotten them in the first place. 

Do I really need to explain to you what a blemish is and why I do not choose to have a blemish and why I would choose to cover one up?

I'm not sure you know how to read. I think I said...twice now? I'm not comparing a tattoo to a blemish.

Yes, I do know how to fucking read, do you?

You said "the process" which is what I was responding to as you can clearly see above. Am I really wrong to assume that you meant "the process of covering them up"? If so, then the process of what exactly?

cmelliott

I wasn't asking for advice. I was replying to the girl who originally asked this question and you not only attacked her but then me.

daveANDkristen

cmelliott said:

Maybe you don't have enough self confidence or a good enough friendship to have that conversation?

I'm actually trying to understand what this even means.  Who needs to have self confidence here - the bride or the bridesmaid? 

If your bridesmaid came to you and said, "you know, I know my tat is really big and would be visible in the dress, would you like for me to cover it up for the ceremony?", I would say that she is a good friend to you because she is considering your feelings and offering to do something for you.  The other way around, with you asking her?  I can't see any way in which that demonstrates how good of a friend you are...

Maggie0829

cmelliott said:

Maybe you don't have enough self confidence or a good enough friendship to have that conversation?

Maybe she doesn't give a rats ass about her friends tattoo because she accepts and loves her friend regardless of what does and does not show in a bridesmaid dress.  That equals a good friendship.

grumbledore

cmelliott said:

I wasn't asking for advice. I was replying to the girl who originally asked this question and you not only attacked her but then me.

Mmm I see you're not the OP, just someone giving bad advice/advocating something that is rude. You still put it out there on a public forum.

And I didn't attack you.  Both you and the OP wanted to do/did something that is not polite, hence everyone telling you so.  Then you acted like a brat.  So you were told you were acting like a brat.

cmelliott

grumbledore said:

cmelliott said:

I wasn't asking for advice. I was replying to the girl who originally asked this question and you not only attacked her but then me.

Mmm I see you're not the OP, just someone giving bad advice/advocating something that is rude. You still put it out there on a public forum.

And I didn't attack you.  Both you and the OP wanted to do/did something that is not polite, hence everyone telling you so.  Then you acted like a brat.  So you were told you were acting like a brat.

Lol I'm a brat because I argued my case? Gosh what are lawyers then? I only began getting rude when you all got rude and abandoned a true argument to just call me names or cuss at me. My opinion is that politely having a conversation about covering up a tattoo is fine as long as it's done tactful and gently. The OP can then take all of your arguments and my stand and make her decision instead of attacking me. Kay? lol

Maggie0829

Your fucking "LOL's" are really pissing me off.  You know it is possible to laugh out loud at something and not have to include it into your posts.

emmyg65

This makes me sad. Your wedding is not about appearances or visions. It's about standing up with the support of your friends and committing yourself to someone else. Your guests will not remember how everyone looked. They'll remember how it felt.

Yes, OP, it is rude to ask your friend to cover up her tattoo. Even if she agrees to do it, you're implying that you find something about her appearance to be offputting or shameful. People see tattoos all the time, and your guests will be focused on watching you marry your husband, not how your bridesmaids look.