My fience's sister got engaged 10 days before my wedding!

photokitty

Do you have a right to be irritated she got engaged 10 days before you? No, sorry.

Do you have a right to find her FI to be irritating/ a loser? Yes

Do the two above questions relate to each other in any way? No, sorry.

He was coming to wedding before they got engaged, so it doesn't matter when they got/ get engaged.

She gets to marry who she wants. You don't have to like him or that fact that she does. But for your own sanity you should find a way to deal with it/ him, because unless she changes her mind or you quit going to FI's family functions you are stuck with him.

Getting mad at us because you are understandably frustrated with the fact that you are slated to have an irritating BIL is not productive.

In closing, I'm sorry it looks like you will have an irritating BIL...that SUCKS. Big time. Now go back to being happy about marrying you awesome FI! GL!

LHolliday13

loves2shop4shoes said:

HOW DARE SHE STEAL YOUR THUNDER!

(sarcasm)

No, you do not have a RIGHT to be annoyed.  She's allowed to get engaged whenever she wants.

I would tell you not to judge, but frankly, it's human nature to have opinions about things.  In your shoes, I would side eye the hell out of her engagement to a guy she's been dating 7 months, when she's only 21.  That being said, just because it doesn't seem like the best option doesn't mean that you CAN or SHOULD publicly say a WORD about it.

Be gracious.  Be polite.  Congratulate her.  And keep your inner 14 year old footstomper in check. 

I'm getting married 10 days so I'm a little insane ok? I would never say anything hurtful to her. My soon to be husband and MY mom are the only two people in the world I would vent to about it. (Other than the stagers on here who should be a little more polite) I would never in a million years be mean to her about it... I want what's best for her. And judge me for saying this, but that is not this guy....

Salsera29

LHolliday13 said:

NYCBruin said:

LHolliday13 said:

I'm not the only one unhappy about the engagement. His parents aren't happy. My fiancé isn't happy. Her boyfriend is fake and that's probably the thing I'm not happy about. If it were another guy I'm sure I would be thrilled and over there tonight giving her my wedding magazines.

I guess I shouldn't be mad about the engagement, bc it's the boy she's marrying I'm not happy about...

And honestly people, before you tell me how petty I am. Remember I'm not the one judging a complete stranger. I reserve my judgment for people I know.

I didn't post on here or people to tell me how terrible I am. I was looking for advice on how to handle it. There is no reason for you to attack me

If you had posted "FI's sister just got engaged, and the guy is a loser" and expressed that you had concerns about his character and that no one really liked the guy and asked for advice on how to handle THAT, you would have gotten much different responses.

But you didn't, you just posted that you were mad that someone got engaged 10 days before the wedding.  And that makes me think that you're really more concerned about this overshadowing your day.

Perhaps, I mean people think, It's 10 days before my wedding, I'm super stressed. I don't like the guy... And everything he does makes me mad.... So with wedding stress and now this news... I'm a little crazy. Ok? But honestly? Why get to mad? Cussing my out and such? Really? That's a little nonsense. Don't attack people. My lands

Pretty please, go back and read your OP. Then read the post where you told us all to "chill out" because we took the time to answer your questions. You didn't like our answers so now you're changing your tune. 

Look. We all understand going a little crazy 10 days out. You came here for perspective, and that's exactly what we gave you. 

loves2shop4shoes

LHolliday13 said:

loves2shop4shoes said:

HOW DARE SHE STEAL YOUR THUNDER!

(sarcasm)

No, you do not have a RIGHT to be annoyed.  She's allowed to get engaged whenever she wants.

I would tell you not to judge, but frankly, it's human nature to have opinions about things.  In your shoes, I would side eye the hell out of her engagement to a guy she's been dating 7 months, when she's only 21.  That being said, just because it doesn't seem like the best option doesn't mean that you CAN or SHOULD publicly say a WORD about it.

Be gracious.  Be polite.  Congratulate her.  And keep your inner 14 year old footstomper in check. 

I'm getting married 10 days so I'm a little insane ok? I would never say anything hurtful to her. My soon to be husband and MY mom are the only two people in the world I would vent to about it. (Other than the stagers on here who should be a little more polite) I would never in a million years be mean to her about it... I want what's best for her. And judge me for saying this, but that is not this guy....

I can completely relate.  My SIL is dating a guy who is in the US on a limited work visa.  He is planning to propose to her...after 6 months.  She's 22 and not very mature.  I know he's only in it for the Green Card.

I get it.  I really do.  But you have to admit that half of this is your concern for her and half of this is your annoyance that she's overshadowing you.

Be polite to her.  Vent to your SO and mother, if you need to.  After the wedding, if you AND your SO are still concerned for her, maybe ask HIM to talk to her about HIS concerns, and stay out of it.

MuppetOverlord

You don't understand how you are coming across. You've entered a community of people who've never seen a post from you before until today and in this first impression of you, you come across as judgmental and selfish from the text you've provided. 

Consider that you use a lot of punctuation for emphasis on the fact that your wedding day is 10 days away and asking internet strangers if you have the right to be irritated that another couple got engaged.

The answer to your question is no, you have no right to be irritated. The world doesn't stop because you are getting married.

(ETA: This trend of old accounts with crazy first time, emotional/defensive/pot-stirring forum contributions is very, very suspicious)

LHolliday13

Salsera29 said:

LHolliday13 said:

NYCBruin said:

LHolliday13 said:

I'm not the only one unhappy about the engagement. His parents aren't happy. My fiancé isn't happy. Her boyfriend is fake and that's probably the thing I'm not happy about. If it were another guy I'm sure I would be thrilled and over there tonight giving her my wedding magazines.

I guess I shouldn't be mad about the engagement, bc it's the boy she's marrying I'm not happy about...

And honestly people, before you tell me how petty I am. Remember I'm not the one judging a complete stranger. I reserve my judgment for people I know.

I didn't post on here or people to tell me how terrible I am. I was looking for advice on how to handle it. There is no reason for you to attack me

If you had posted "FI's sister just got engaged, and the guy is a loser" and expressed that you had concerns about his character and that no one really liked the guy and asked for advice on how to handle THAT, you would have gotten much different responses.

But you didn't, you just posted that you were mad that someone got engaged 10 days before the wedding.  And that makes me think that you're really more concerned about this overshadowing your day.

Perhaps, I mean people think, It's 10 days before my wedding, I'm super stressed. I don't like the guy... And everything he does makes me mad.... So with wedding stress and now this news... I'm a little crazy. Ok? But honestly? Why get to mad? Cussing my out and such? Really? That's a little nonsense. Don't attack people. My lands

Pretty please, go back and read your OP. Then read the post where you told us all to "chill out" because we took the time to answer your questions. You didn't like our answers so now you're changing your tune. 

Look. We all understand going a little crazy 10 days out. You came here for perspective, and that's exactly what we gave you. 

I'm saying you could answer the question without yelling at me. It's not like I was like I HATE MY SIL and I'M going to be mad and pouty and poopy to everybody now!!!!

But as I have said if it were a guy that I liked, I'd be other there tonight. Shoot might even be trying to talk her in to a double ceremony. But I'm not happy. I don't like the guy... if he proposed 10 months AFTER my wedding I'd probably be complaining about that

Swazzle

LHolliday13 said:

Salsera29 said:

LHolliday13 said:

NYCBruin said:

LHolliday13 said:

I'm not the only one unhappy about the engagement. His parents aren't happy. My fiancé isn't happy. Her boyfriend is fake and that's probably the thing I'm not happy about. If it were another guy I'm sure I would be thrilled and over there tonight giving her my wedding magazines.

I guess I shouldn't be mad about the engagement, bc it's the boy she's marrying I'm not happy about...

And honestly people, before you tell me how petty I am. Remember I'm not the one judging a complete stranger. I reserve my judgment for people I know.

I didn't post on here or people to tell me how terrible I am. I was looking for advice on how to handle it. There is no reason for you to attack me

If you had posted "FI's sister just got engaged, and the guy is a loser" and expressed that you had concerns about his character and that no one really liked the guy and asked for advice on how to handle THAT, you would have gotten much different responses.

But you didn't, you just posted that you were mad that someone got engaged 10 days before the wedding.  And that makes me think that you're really more concerned about this overshadowing your day.

Perhaps, I mean people think, It's 10 days before my wedding, I'm super stressed. I don't like the guy... And everything he does makes me mad.... So with wedding stress and now this news... I'm a little crazy. Ok? But honestly? Why get to mad? Cussing my out and such? Really? That's a little nonsense. Don't attack people. My lands

Pretty please, go back and read your OP. Then read the post where you told us all to "chill out" because we took the time to answer your questions. You didn't like our answers so now you're changing your tune. 

Look. We all understand going a little crazy 10 days out. You came here for perspective, and that's exactly what we gave you. 

I'm saying you could answer the question without yelling at me. It's not like I was like I HATE MY SIL and I'M going to be mad and pouty and poopy to everybody now!!!!

But as I have said if it were a guy that I liked, I'd be other there tonight. Shoot might even be trying to talk her in to a double ceremony. But I'm not happy. I don't like the guy... if he proposed 10 months AFTER my wedding I'd probably be complaining about that

Who yelled? Could you actually HEAR them through the computer? 

How old are you?

LadyofCas

Lurker coming out for this one. (And on my phone so I apologize if my paragraphs don't show)

I understand. My sister got out of a 2 year relationship in July last year. In October she met someone new and three weeks later they were engaged. Did I side eye it then - of course - it's my baby sister!
Did I side eye it when she placed her wedding a month ahead of mine this year? Yes. Does it matter in the long run? No.
She was married on a beautiful September 7th day. I'm still marrying on October 12th. The world didnt implode- I smiled and wished my sister a beautiful day to this person we've all known for less than a year.
Be happy for your SIL - he obviously makes her happy. And you'll be married in 10 days. Take a deep breath and smile. And enjoy this time for YOU!

melbelleup

LHolliday13 said:

Salsera29 said:

LHolliday13 said:

NYCBruin said:

LHolliday13 said:

I'm not the only one unhappy about the engagement. His parents aren't happy. My fiancé isn't happy. Her boyfriend is fake and that's probably the thing I'm not happy about. If it were another guy I'm sure I would be thrilled and over there tonight giving her my wedding magazines.

I guess I shouldn't be mad about the engagement, bc it's the boy she's marrying I'm not happy about...

And honestly people, before you tell me how petty I am. Remember I'm not the one judging a complete stranger. I reserve my judgment for people I know.

I didn't post on here or people to tell me how terrible I am. I was looking for advice on how to handle it. There is no reason for you to attack me

If you had posted "FI's sister just got engaged, and the guy is a loser" and expressed that you had concerns about his character and that no one really liked the guy and asked for advice on how to handle THAT, you would have gotten much different responses.

But you didn't, you just posted that you were mad that someone got engaged 10 days before the wedding.  And that makes me think that you're really more concerned about this overshadowing your day.

Perhaps, I mean people think, It's 10 days before my wedding, I'm super stressed. I don't like the guy... And everything he does makes me mad.... So with wedding stress and now this news... I'm a little crazy. Ok? But honestly? Why get to mad? Cussing my out and such? Really? That's a little nonsense. Don't attack people. My lands

Pretty please, go back and read your OP. Then read the post where you told us all to "chill out" because we took the time to answer your questions. You didn't like our answers so now you're changing your tune. 

Look. We all understand going a little crazy 10 days out. You came here for perspective, and that's exactly what we gave you. 

I'm saying you could answer the question without yelling at me. It's not like I was like I HATE MY SIL and I'M going to be mad and pouty and poopy to everybody now!!!!

But as I have said if it were a guy that I liked, I'd be other there tonight. Shoot might even be trying to talk her in to a double ceremony. But I'm not happy. I don't like the guy... if he proposed 10 months AFTER my wedding I'd probably be complaining about that

But you didn't say this in your post... you just said you were upset about it being 10 days out.

southernbelle0915

OMG - I totally see how you're pissed off. YOU'RE getting married in 10 DAYS!! YOU don't like her fiance! YOU think he's fake! They've only been dating 7 months which in YOUR opinion is not long enough! He works for minimum wage at a hardware store which isn't up to YOUR standards!! Couldn't they have waited until after YOUR wedding?!?!?!??!?!?!??! Oh, and people who are saying isn't not all about YOU obviously don't understand how important YOUR wedding is... /*sarcasm*

LHolliday13

 

 

How old are you?

Just because I don't cuss doesn't mean I'm a baby

MuppetOverlord

LHolliday13 said:

Salsera29 said:

LHolliday13 said:

NYCBruin said:

LHolliday13 said:

I'm not the only one unhappy about the engagement. His parents aren't happy. My fiancé isn't happy. Her boyfriend is fake and that's probably the thing I'm not happy about. If it were another guy I'm sure I would be thrilled and over there tonight giving her my wedding magazines.

I guess I shouldn't be mad about the engagement, bc it's the boy she's marrying I'm not happy about...

And honestly people, before you tell me how petty I am. Remember I'm not the one judging a complete stranger. I reserve my judgment for people I know.

I didn't post on here or people to tell me how terrible I am. I was looking for advice on how to handle it. There is no reason for you to attack me

If you had posted "FI's sister just got engaged, and the guy is a loser" and expressed that you had concerns about his character and that no one really liked the guy and asked for advice on how to handle THAT, you would have gotten much different responses.

But you didn't, you just posted that you were mad that someone got engaged 10 days before the wedding.  And that makes me think that you're really more concerned about this overshadowing your day.

Perhaps, I mean people think, It's 10 days before my wedding, I'm super stressed. I don't like the guy... And everything he does makes me mad.... So with wedding stress and now this news... I'm a little crazy. Ok? But honestly? Why get to mad? Cussing my out and such? Really? That's a little nonsense. Don't attack people. My lands

Pretty please, go back and read your OP. Then read the post where you told us all to "chill out" because we took the time to answer your questions. You didn't like our answers so now you're changing your tune. 

Look. We all understand going a little crazy 10 days out. You came here for perspective, and that's exactly what we gave you. 

I'm saying you could answer the question without yelling at me. It's not like I was like I HATE MY SIL and I'M going to be mad and pouty and poopy to everybody now!!!!

But as I have said if it were a guy that I liked, I'd be other there tonight. Shoot might even be trying to talk her in to a double ceremony. But I'm not happy. I don't like the guy... if he proposed 10 months AFTER my wedding I'd probably be complaining about that

It sure is a good thing that you're not marrying him and that their marriage has nothing to do with you.

You gotta get over yourself.

jenniferurs

Is this real life?

Swazzle

LHolliday13 said:

 

 

How old are you?

Just because I don't cuss doesn't mean I'm a baby

Your OP and the fact that you used the phrase "be poopy to everyone" suggests otherwise. 

MuppetOverlord

jenniferurs said:

Is this real life?

No. I swear it's Candid Camera. I keep looking around.

smalfrie19

I am just pissed that you think because she is 21 and only been with this guy for 7 months that that some how invalidates their love and right to be engaged. FTR I got engaged to my FI when I was 21 and he proposed on our 6 mo ann.

Salsera29

LHolliday13 said:

Salsera29 said:

LHolliday13 said:

NYCBruin said:

LHolliday13 said:

I'm not the only one unhappy about the engagement. His parents aren't happy. My fiancé isn't happy. Her boyfriend is fake and that's probably the thing I'm not happy about. If it were another guy I'm sure I would be thrilled and over there tonight giving her my wedding magazines.

I guess I shouldn't be mad about the engagement, bc it's the boy she's marrying I'm not happy about...

And honestly people, before you tell me how petty I am. Remember I'm not the one judging a complete stranger. I reserve my judgment for people I know.

I didn't post on here or people to tell me how terrible I am. I was looking for advice on how to handle it. There is no reason for you to attack me

If you had posted "FI's sister just got engaged, and the guy is a loser" and expressed that you had concerns about his character and that no one really liked the guy and asked for advice on how to handle THAT, you would have gotten much different responses.

But you didn't, you just posted that you were mad that someone got engaged 10 days before the wedding.  And that makes me think that you're really more concerned about this overshadowing your day.

Perhaps, I mean people think, It's 10 days before my wedding, I'm super stressed. I don't like the guy... And everything he does makes me mad.... So with wedding stress and now this news... I'm a little crazy. Ok? But honestly? Why get to mad? Cussing my out and such? Really? That's a little nonsense. Don't attack people. My lands

Pretty please, go back and read your OP. Then read the post where you told us all to "chill out" because we took the time to answer your questions. You didn't like our answers so now you're changing your tune. 

Look. We all understand going a little crazy 10 days out. You came here for perspective, and that's exactly what we gave you. 

I'm saying you could answer the question without yelling at me. It's not like I was like I HATE MY SIL and I'M going to be mad and pouty and poopy to everybody now!!!!

But as I have said if it were a guy that I liked, I'd be other there tonight. Shoot might even be trying to talk her in to a double ceremony. But I'm not happy. I don't like the guy... if he proposed 10 months AFTER my wedding I'd probably be complaining about that

But I didn't "yell" at you until you told us to chill out. It was uncalled for. Nobody was mean before that. We answered your question.

I understand that you don't like him. I'm not a big fan of my BIL, to be honest with you. But as PP's have already said, that is not what your original question was about.

MuppetOverlord

LHolliday13 said:

 

 

How old are you?

Just because I don't cuss doesn't mean I'm a baby

Not sure what cussing has to do with it. Your temper tantrums, crazy punctuation, and overall demeanor make us ponder the question.

Pepper6

You sound really immature...good luck with that.

LHolliday13

I use crazy punctuation all the time... Even at work.... I'm not obsessed with a cartoon....  

cmelliott

I haven't read all of both pages but I saw the beginning. I think you have every right to your feelings, it's something you can't control. I had a pair of friends get engaged and pick my same wedding day, just a year later (so my 1 year anniversary) and it pissed me off. I can understand you may feel they're stealing your thunder. HOWEVER, this is nothing you can do about it. You're obligated to be happy and smile through it (unless you want some major family drama right before the wedding).

misshart00

Wow, that escalated quickly.

I got engaged after dating my husband for 8 months.  We got engaged on my 22nd birthday and it was 3 weeks before my sister's wedding.  She was thrilled.

Why are you freaking out?  You didn't mention at all that you didn't like her fiance in the first post.  You only mentioned that they got engaged 10 days out.  OMG!!!!

Salsera29

LHolliday13 said:

I use crazy punctuation all the time... Even at work.... I'm not obsessed with a cartoon....  

smalfrie19

LHolliday13 said:

I use crazy punctuation all the time... Even at work.... I'm not obsessed with a cartoon....  

Because this is a totally valid and mature argument! /sarcasm

Swazzle

LHolliday13 said:

I use crazy punctuation all the time... Even at work.... I'm not obsessed with a cartoon....  

Thank you for continuing to prove our point.

GypsyWife_

LHolliday13 said:

 

 

How old are you?

Just because I don't cuss doesn't mean I'm a baby



This is my favorite.

Viczaesar

LHolliday13 said:

Salsera29 said:

LHolliday13 said:

NYCBruin said:

LHolliday13 said:

I'm not the only one unhappy about the engagement. His parents aren't happy. My fiancé isn't happy. Her boyfriend is fake and that's probably the thing I'm not happy about. If it were another guy I'm sure I would be thrilled and over there tonight giving her my wedding magazines.

I guess I shouldn't be mad about the engagement, bc it's the boy she's marrying I'm not happy about...

And honestly people, before you tell me how petty I am. Remember I'm not the one judging a complete stranger. I reserve my judgment for people I know.

I didn't post on here or people to tell me how terrible I am. I was looking for advice on how to handle it. There is no reason for you to attack me

If you had posted "FI's sister just got engaged, and the guy is a loser" and expressed that you had concerns about his character and that no one really liked the guy and asked for advice on how to handle THAT, you would have gotten much different responses.

But you didn't, you just posted that you were mad that someone got engaged 10 days before the wedding.  And that makes me think that you're really more concerned about this overshadowing your day.

Perhaps, I mean people think, It's 10 days before my wedding, I'm super stressed. I don't like the guy... And everything he does makes me mad.... So with wedding stress and now this news... I'm a little crazy. Ok? But honestly? Why get to mad? Cussing my out and such? Really? That's a little nonsense. Don't attack people. My lands

Pretty please, go back and read your OP. Then read the post where you told us all to "chill out" because we took the time to answer your questions. You didn't like our answers so now you're changing your tune. 

Look. We all understand going a little crazy 10 days out. You came here for perspective, and that's exactly what we gave you. 

I'm saying you could answer the question without yelling at me. It's not like I was like I HATE MY SIL and I'M going to be mad and pouty and poopy to everybody now!!!!

But as I have said if it were a guy that I liked, I'd be other there tonight. Shoot might even be trying to talk her in to a double ceremony. But I'm not happy. I don't like the guy... if he proposed 10 months AFTER my wedding I'd probably be complaining about that

I don't believe that for a second. 

Salsera29

cmelliott said:

I haven't read all of both pages but I saw the beginning. I think you have every right to your feelings, it's something you can't control. I had a pair of friends get engaged and pick my same wedding day, just a year later (so my 1 year anniversary) and it pissed me off. I can understand you may feel they're stealing your thunder. HOWEVER, this is nothing you can do about it. You're obligated to be happy and smile through it (unless you want some major family drama right before the wedding).

WHAT? @cmelliot is agreeing with OP?

Pepper6

cmelliott said:

I haven't read all of both pages but I saw the beginning. I think you have every right to your feelings, it's something you can't control. I had a pair of friends get engaged and pick my same wedding day, just a year later (so my 1 year anniversary) and it pissed me off. I can understand you may feel they're stealing your thunder. HOWEVER, this is nothing you can do about it. You're obligated to be happy and smile through it (unless you want some major family drama right before the wedding).

Coming from the person who thinks it's also okay to ask people to cover tattoos and to ask a transgendered male wear a dress...

Swazzle

cmelliott said:

I haven't read all of both pages but I saw the beginning. I think you have every right to your feelings, it's something you can't control. I had a pair of friends get engaged and pick my same wedding day, just a year later (so my 1 year anniversary) and it pissed me off. I can understand you may feel they're stealing your thunder. HOWEVER, this is nothing you can do about it. You're obligated to be happy and smile through it (unless you want some major family drama right before the wedding).

Why on Earth would this piss you off? It's a year later, not your wedding day. Did you stake a claim to that date for the rest of eternity or something?