FFF

crfische · August 2010

Nope, Stage. I stayed way out of that one. FUUCK IF YOURE GONNA COME AROUND GET YOUR SHIIT STRAIGHT.

Kidding.

akhensley81 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-41?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:39776703-5a71-44af-8c80-d510f01e7255Post:68cf5147-ea01-4bb3-b86c-ffa9c98c2940">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I thought that was fischy? or was mandy first?
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Mandy was first. A few people agreed with her, a few people disagreed, and then the subject got changed. Mandy did explain herself a little more so it made me feel better.

Celles · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-41?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:39776703-5a71-44af-8c80-d510f01e7255Post:32d3d52c-4199-47d3-b223-afe8b23e6384">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Just so long as I'm in good company. Can we crossboard flame? Because I'd kinda like to flame the posters on WP who had a mini freakout over OOT calling Brooke a brat. Not that they had a major meltdown or anything, but really, how could you NOT get that it was a joke?
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

I stopped lurking in WP after that silly "boycott" a couple of the regs over there attempted to start. There are some smart ladies on WP -- you, Emily, Banana -- but that one chick (I don't remember her name) who spends more time complaining about people asking questions than anything else makes me want to kick kittens. And I really like kittens. :(

pumpkinpumpkin · August 2010

It was douchetastic of AK's fi to sy that. Regardless of who we are. Especially because AK isn't new around here...she knows that stupid things husbands say are usually judged.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · August 2010

Fish, I think that's with every semi-offensive word though. I mean, my gay friends can get away with saying, "OMG that's so gay!" about something. But I would never use it on a message board. And if I hear a high schooler or d-bag use the word in a derogatory way I'd be upset.

pumpkinpumpkin · August 2010

I also flame Heels - for asking if she can post here earlier this week. That was ridiculous and extremely AWish. Shocking.

And BGB - for coming and saying "do I know anyone here".

jnic0319 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-41?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:39776703-5a71-44af-8c80-d510f01e7255Post:92b4257f-a4f0-425c-9797-8b45fb265e7e">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE] I flame Mandysmear for jumping on Ak's fi and calling him a "douchebag" for making a comment that didn't even bother AK all that much. It was a comment that would have bugged the crap out of Mandy, but if it doesn't push AK's buttons, how does that make her fi a douchebag? Our fi/H's tend to know what is or isn't a big issue to us. Things that are a huge issue to Mandy do not necessarily = things that are a huge issue to everyone.
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

Link? I have been out of the office and on the road much of this week so I missed this.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · August 2010

I flame playtnteppg27 (that's a mouthful) for her comment a few days ago (and she hasn't even been around that much):

<a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bump-ps" rel="nofollow">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bump-ps</a>

[QUOTE]This is as bad as the one stating they are getting an abortion this week because she has her hands full with 2. Seriously? It will work out in the end or put it up for adoption. Abortion isn't a form of birth control. I know my chances are slim to get KU and I still would never go without some sort of birth control to make sure it doesn't happen, until I am ready.
Posted by playtnteppg27[/QUOTE]

Yeah, okay, abortions are sad. It's unfortunate someone has no other choice. But my god, that was an ignorant comment.

pinkpinot · August 2010

jnic: http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tmi-1

You're welcome.

ohwhynot · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-41?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:39776703-5a71-44af-8c80-d510f01e7255Post:b0237447-70b4-497b-9250-1711e3c91d0a">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]It was douchetastic of AK's fi to sy that. Regardless of who we are. Especially because AK isn't new around here...she knows that stupid things husbands say are usually judged.
Posted by pumpkinpumpkin[/QUOTE]I just disagree. If my H said I looked bloated, it wouldn't bother me at all. I'd find it blunt and kind of funny - weight issues/looking bloated just aren't my hotspots. If he said other things to me that probably woulnd't cause anyone to else to bat an eye, it would be douchtastic. My button-pushers aren't the same as others, and AK never said she was hurt by the comment. I got more of a "sheesh, fi, have a little tact" vibe than a "he really hurt my feelings" vibe.It's ridiculous, based on YOUR reaction, not the OP's, to call someone a douche and wonder aloud why anyone would marry such a person.

crfische · August 2010

Oh yeah, I totally agree with that Mery.

mandysmear · August 2010

That's how I roll. Her Fi said something douchey and I felt the need to speak up. Just like when whitson's H was a douche, I spoke up. Same goes for Jessjo's husband. I spoke up. So did a lot of us. Sue me.

I stand by my actions - I just wish I wouldn't have overly generalized in my first couple posts. I hate when I am not clear, then people get the wrong idea and they stick with the first post and don't bother to read for clarification.

I think that golden should make her next donation to ARC because of her retard comment.

Celles · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-41?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:39776703-5a71-44af-8c80-d510f01e7255Post:b0237447-70b4-497b-9250-1711e3c91d0a">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]It was douchetastic of AK's fi to sy that. Regardless of who we are. Especially because AK isn't new around here...she knows that stupid things husbands say are usually judged.
Posted by pumpkinpumpkin[/QUOTE]

It was. But saying something douchetastic doesn't make him a douche; it just makes him thoughtless.

I told Jef to DIAF once. It's gamer slang; it doesn't mean anything and he knows it. But he was still hurt. I don't think I'm a bad person or a bad fiancee for saying it. I just think I had a momentary lapse in judgment and was careless with someone else's feelings. It's not something to be proud of, but it happens.

akhensley81 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-41?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:39776703-5a71-44af-8c80-d510f01e7255Post:b0237447-70b4-497b-9250-1711e3c91d0a">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]It was douchetastic of AK's fi to sy that. Regardless of who we are. Especially because AK isn't new around here...she knows that stupid things husbands say are usually judged.
Posted by pumpkinpumpkin[/QUOTE]

Oh yeah, I'm very well aware. And 1/2 the reason I posted it was because I knew I had a doozey for you girls. I think more than anything, it was Mandy's comment (along the lines of.. I'm not quoting here) about how her H is perfect and would never say anything mean to her and whythehell are all these girls marrying these idiots?

But like I said, she explained herself more later in the thread.

pinkpinot · August 2010

Wait. Wasn't Play the one who posted about possibly being pregnant and what should she do? Who is she to lecture someone about birth control.

crfische · August 2010

Hey guys. I'm NOT pregnant. Just to be clear.

mandysmear · August 2010

I think it's kind of funny how OWN is saying that I shouldn't have reacted that way because akhensley was okay with what her Fi said, but yet she overreacted by the "you look so different in your wedding pictures." comment.

We both jumped the gun. Different situations. But we both jumped the gun and assumed the worst. (i still don't think her FI should have said it regardless if she feels like she has the body of a goddess or a cow - but hey, that's me)

Nebb · August 2010

The comment about him being a douche doesnt really strike me because the term douche gets tossed around a LOT around here, but mandy saying "i guess no one is as lucky as me" just came off as completely unnecessary.

Stackeye210 · August 2010

I'd just like to say that I totally called it.......I said Playt would be back after a hiatus from her "woe is me" breakdown. It's only a matter of time before the cycle repeats itself.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-41?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:39776703-5a71-44af-8c80-d510f01e7255Post:f62010dc-bde1-45c9-a70d-b6321ace0512">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Wait. Wasn't Play the one who posted about possibly being pregnant and what should she do? Who is she to lecture someone about birth control.
Posted by pinkpinot[/QUOTE]

Touché. I had forgotten that.

And I've seen her a few other places recently, like maybe SB. But that was the first time I've seen her on E in a while.

ohwhynot · August 2010

I think that's kind of my point, Mandy. I overreacted to P2's comment - MY own issues caused me to take what was an innocent comment and make something bad about it. I shouldn't have done that, and when I called out on it, I acknowledged that. I acknowledge it again.

But even when I fff'd P2 for it, I didn't call her a fuucking douchebag or wonder why anyone would marry someone who made such an insensitive comment. That was pretty over the top.

mandysmear · August 2010

Some women (not just here but IRL) think it's okay for comments like that to come out of one's mouth. I can't get on board with that. I can't. Those who are okay with that, all the power to you. So long as your feelings aren't getting hurt at the end of the day - so be it. That would hurt my feelings immensely. So, that's why I think that akhensley's FI is a douche.

So, yeah, I guess my husband is pretty damn awesome for having a filter and not saying everything that comes to his mind. He tells me I'm beautiful and that he wouldn't change a thing about me everyday. Everyday he says that. And yeah I could stand to lose quite a few pounds. That's no secret. So, yeah I think I'm pretty lucky to have married such an incredible man.

baystateapple · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-41?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:39776703-5a71-44af-8c80-d510f01e7255Post:86498793-69e4-4419-8ef4-62e7c7c94787">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey guys. I'm NOT pregnant. Just to be clear.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

Well THAT'S good to know. Considering how we were all thinking you were the KPS poster who was pregnant and couldn't tell yet.

sarabear23 · August 2010

Huh. I actually have one this week.

Mandy, for saying how much better her husband was than everyone elses because he never ONCE said anything to hurt her feelings. Those may not have been the exact words, but thats exactly how it came across. I thought it was uncalled for and sort of rude. Which makes me sad, cuz I like Mandy.

mandysmear · August 2010

You're right OWN, it is my own personal body issues that made me react to that comment and I thought it was crazy that someone would deem it acceptable. So, yeah calling him a douche was a little over the top. I can admit that. I could have just said something along the lines of "not cool ak, not cool." But, I took it further because of my own issues. You're absolutely right.

I can't take it back, and I can't really apologize for it. Do I think ak's FI is a douche all day every day? No. But I do think he won't stop at a comment like that. So, that worries me. Bit of a red flag, that's all.

Celles · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-41?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:39776703-5a71-44af-8c80-d510f01e7255Post:13974c87-139e-4d3f-843f-20de464380cf">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]The comment about him being a douche doesnt really strike me because the term douche gets tossed around a LOT around here, but mandy saying "i guess no one is as lucky as me" just came off as completely unnecessary.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

I have to admit, that entire thread made me question the health of my relationship. FI and I fight dirty when we fight. I think it's the stress of being long distance. But we've both said some pretty awful things to each other -- things we didn't mean and later apologized for, but were hurtful nonetheless. I thought all couples had moments like that, but it sounds like some of you ladies ARE luckier than me, because my FI would say something hurtful in the heat of the moment. Then again, so would I. :(

jnic0319 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-41?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:39776703-5a71-44af-8c80-d510f01e7255Post:b7270cb6-4556-45cc-8d07-f6664cf8c5e6">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]jnic: <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tmi-1" rel="nofollow">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tmi-1</a> You're welcome.
Posted by pinkpinot[/QUOTE]

Thanks pinkpinot. I agree Mandy was wayyyy off base. My FI and I say things like that to each other all of the time. We are also VERY laid back and love to tease each other and both of us are very hard to offend. I can understand it may offend some people, but that's what makes us good for each other which is possibly the same in their relationship; I would have laughed, I don't think AK's FI was douchey in the least...lacking in the tact department sure, but not douchey.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · August 2010

Not to beat a dead horse, but I agree about the "I guess not everyone is as lucky as I am to have such an awesome husband" line being side-eye worthy. I can see saying that in a fit of passion, though, as Mandy explained the topic is something she's sensitive to. I am as well and I would definitely be upset if my FI ever mentioned anything about my weight or me looking fat/bloated.

shellydiane820 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-41?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:39776703-5a71-44af-8c80-d510f01e7255Post:0f196cac-e702-4ebd-abf8-44adbebb8539">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]You're right OWN, it is my own personal body issues that made me react to that comment and I thought it was crazy that someone would deem it acceptable. So, yeah calling him a douche was a little over the top. I can admit that. I could have just said something along the lines of "not cool ak, not cool." But, I took it further because of my own issues. You're absolutely right. I can't take it back, and I can't really apologize for it. Do I think ak's FI is a douche all day every day? No. But I do think he won't stop at a comment like that. So, that worries me. Bit of a red flag, that's all.
Posted by mandysmear[/QUOTE]

I don't think one rude comment is a red flag. Especially if she didn't take it to heart.

ohwhynot · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-41?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:39776703-5a71-44af-8c80-d510f01e7255Post:0f196cac-e702-4ebd-abf8-44adbebb8539">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]You're right OWN, it is my own personal body issues that made me react to that comment and I thought it was crazy that someone would deem it acceptable. So, yeah calling him a douche was a little over the top. I can admit that. I could have just said something along the lines of "not cool ak, not cool." But, I took it further because of my own issues. You're absolutely right. I can't take it back, and I can't really apologize for it. Do I think ak's FI is a douche all day every day? No. But I do think he won't stop at a comment like that. So, that worries me. Bit of a red flag, that's all.
Posted by mandysmear[/QUOTE]Wow, what a nice, honest, gracious post. Now I feel bad for fffing you. Group hug?

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