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Wedding Etiquette Forum
Alcohol free dinner
I'm having a reception dinner when I get married (I know I've mentioned it a couple of times but just making sure you remember). FI does not drink at all. He does not want to serve alcohol at the dinner. I told him that we don't have to have full premium open bar, but we should at least serve wine, beer, sangria and/or a signature drink (maybe mojitos since we're going to a Cuban restaurant). I think it's really tacky to expect people to come and not offer any alcohol. Thoughts?
For reference, we're inviting 25-30 people,
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Re: Alcohol free dinner
You're planning a non-existant wedding?
I'm so confused.
Pass me the booze.
Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.
The Margarita Evolution
Just because your FI doesn't drink though doesn't mean that you shouldn't provide it for your guests. You could do beer, wine, sangria and no signature drink and that would be great.
[QUOTE]Maybe it's not tacky, but I don't think that just because he doesn't drink doesn't mean that nobody else get to drink.
Posted by Goldlie11[/QUOTE]
Then tell him that...?
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
[QUOTE]I don't think it's tacky, but it kind of screams, "I don't drink and you shouldn't either." I don't like having decisions made for me, as an adult.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]
<div>I agree.</div><div>I am a vegetarian, but I would never have a meat free wedding or dinner at my house. </div>
[QUOTE]J doesn't drink. But he's not super uncomfortable being around it, either. We served beer & wine only and had no complaints. I think if FI is that uncomfortable being around alcohol (is he recovering?) then that's something the two of you need to decide together.
Posted by scoetto[/QUOTE]
No he's not a recovering alcoholic. He just doesn't like to drink. He doesn't like the actual taste of alcohol. <div>
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If I followed that rule, we'd have no food at our wedding at all, as FI is the pickiest eater ever.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Alcohol free dinner : I agree. I am a vegetarian, but I would never have a meat free wedding or dinner at my house.
Posted by NCV2[/QUOTE]
That's a great analogy. I will tell him that so hopefully he will understand. He doesn't see the point in serving alcohol. Other than one friend who will be in attendance, everyone else drinks. I think it's only fair to serve some kind of drink other than soda.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Alcohol free dinner : No he's not a recovering alcoholic. He just doesn't like to drink. He doesn't like the actual taste of alcohol.
Posted by Goldlie11[/QUOTE]
Same with my FI. We're still serving alcohol, because it's a party for our guests, and our guests like it.
Miss Mrs.
So, he really doesn't understand that some people like to have a drink with dinner? Especially at a celebration?
Posted by NCV2[/QUOTE]
Sadly a lot of veg brides would. We get into a 3 pager argument about this at least once every few months.
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
I would be beyond angry if DH had told me I don't drink so you can't drink at your own wedding.
I am in this boat exactly. DH and I are both vegetarians, and served two meat entrees at our wedding and always have meat-something when guests come for dinner.
OP, do you drink? Do you let your FI prohibit you from drinking when you have dinner together? Would you be upset if he tried?
[QUOTE]I am in this boat exactly. DH and I are both vegetarians, and served two meat entrees at our wedding and always have meat-something when guests come for dinner. OP, do you drink? Do you let your FI prohibit you from drinking when you have dinner together? Would you be upset if he tried?
Posted by ScarletGem[/QUOTE]
I drink on occasion. I've been losing weight, so I've pretty much given it up (no, I'm not in recovery either). He just feels that we don't HAVE to offer alcohol and that it will increase the tab a lot. He's never bothered me when I did have drinks in the past.
[QUOTE]Also, FWIW, it is nearly 2 years away, so you've got time to think about what beverages to serve.
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]
I agree. He just brought it up the other day that he didn't want to serve any alcohol. I told him that's no going to happen.
We didn't go with this option, but it was at least there.
Not to get too far off topic, but I'm sort of interested in the vegetarian thing going on. When I was vegetarian, I didn't handle meat because it grossed me out - so people would bring it to my apartment if they wanted it, and I made it clear that that was okay with me. And I cooked pretty normal meat-free stuff for people (like veggie lasagna, or stuffed shells), I didn't make everyone eat tofu. I would have had meat options at the wedding, of course, but I don't think it's unreasonable not to actually cook meat if you're vegetarian. I guess I'm saying...I think it's awesome, but shouldn't be expected, that you cook meat dishes for your guests.
Your reception is to thank your guests for coming and sharing your day. I think you should consider them for dinner. I'd offer alcohol.
But if you don't serve me booze I will get very cranky, leave early, and probably talk shiit about how un-fun your wedding was.
Also, if we caught wind your reception was going to be dry someone would have a minibar set up in a SUV out in the parking lot, and everyone would bring flasks.
Posted by LauraT25[/QUOTE]
Thanks, Laura. For me isn't not a serious ethical decision; it's just that I don't particularly enjoy eating meat, it was an easy way to cut a lot of fat and crap from my diet, and I find the health and environmental arguments compelling.
The big thing is when my mom comes to visit, which is only about once a year since we usually go to her instead of her coming here. She practically only eats meat, and has a mental block on anything that is entirely vegetarian. So it's really out of respect for her that I make it.
So it all boils down to whether or not he has a good reason, I guess. Be fair about what a good reason is.
And if you both agree that you want a dry reception, that's not tacky. You just need to both agree.
(In the same vein, if a vegetarian didn't want to offer me meat because of a moral opposition, that's perfectly understandable to me.)
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