Unpopular Wedding Opinions

mrscarter052011 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:8ee83342-6680-4932-9066-08992bea5203">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]I hate the bouquet toss and we are not doing one!
Posted by luckyme502[/QUOTE]

<WAVES HAND WILDLY FROM THE BACK /> Yes, I'll jump on this bandwagon as well.

And if I wasn't already turned off by the idea of this a few weeks at a family party we were discussing weddings because next year we have mine and my cousins so the family is getting excited and my cousin's fiancee mentioned the garter toss and how they wouldn't be doing it and I said neither would we and how we didn't have that many single people coming anyway so I didn't want it to be awkward for them and my other cousin said "Well, 'little Billy' will be there (who is 10) so he could catch it".... Yeah, b/c that would make it classier (btw 'little Billy' is not invited anyway)

wendyw1107 · July 2010

I don't like cash bars or dollar dances. I think your guests have spent enough on a present and arranging their time to be there and that they should not have to shell out any more money for anything. That's just IMHO.

I don't like bridesmaids wearing black whether it is a fall or winter wedding. I know it's super trendy now but I really don't like it! I also don't like when brides don't match their colors to the season, i.e. having pastels in winter or dark colors in summer.

And I really don't like when guests show up in inappropriate attire. I am a bartender at a hotel that is constantly having weddings and you would not believe some of the outfits I've seen women wear. Some of the stuff I would not even wear to a nightclub!

I like traditional. I like the chicken dance and the hokey pokey. I like guests not wearing unrelieved black and, of course, not wearing white. I like head tables. I like groomsmen in tuxes - but don't like bow ties or cummerbunds. I like bridesmaids to match. My bridesmaids matched dresses, shoes and hair. Though I did have them brainstorm to see what they liked best for hair and shoes. The dresses I picked and they were so beautiful I wished I had one!

I don't mind if people register for expensive items as long as there are some reasonable ones as well. I think the bride should pay whatever she wishes for her dress as long as she can afford it.

I guess I'm just super picky and judgmental. Sorry! Hope no one is offended!

P.S. FYI to all you wedding guests out there - just because it is a free bar doesn't mean you shouldn't tip the bartender. That is usually considered the proper thing to do unless the bartender specifically says no.

dawnmarie0627 · July 2010

I've never been to a wedding that did not have at least a 2 hour gap between the ceremony and the reception. I never knew it was "wrong" until the knot and I still don't think that there is anything wrong with having a gap. We will be having one.

Starmusica · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:14a7379b-80fd-4f7b-a43b-8caca37807c5">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]I think garter tosses are crass and tacky.
Posted by maria.pedroza[/QUOTE]

agreed. i refuse to do this at mine despite my FMIL insisting its cute. yuck.

gottahavashorti · July 2010

I don't mind colored vests for the GM unless they're something they obviously wouldn't have picked out for themselves, like light pink.

Money dances don't bother me if they're a cultural norm. If they're not, it seems gift grabby. Otherwise, it's just something fun for the family.

I don't think black BM dresses are a one size fits all solution, even though I do think BMs should have say in their attire and that it's preferable for brides to be open to the idea of non-identical dresses if their BMs body types won't work for a single dress shape.

When BM dresses are non-identical, I think a length should always be specified. Some in short dresses and others in floor length dresses always looks sloppy to me.

I don't mind line dances being played at weddings. Some of our guests were trying to get our dance floor going with line dances but DH had put them all on the do not play list since I didn't care about the music and he doesn't like them. When they found out that the Electric Slide wasn't on the do not play list, the dance floor finally got moving.

I think children's vows can be cute as long as the wedding isn't entirely about the kids. Unless the vows say that the new spouse will be their parent 100% and their parents are still both in the picture, at least. Or like the one poster I think on CC who told the kid that the FI was marrying both of them - that was the line between cute and creepy for me. But I think it's good to include the children in the wedding since the marriage does have an influence on them and changes their family.

katiewhompus · July 2010

I don't understand why people get so worked up over cash bars or dry weddings. Yes drunk people are entertaining, but you can survive for 4 hours in a social setting without drinking. This isn't a college party where you need to be drunk to have fun.

I think it's convenient when the invitations include an insert with registry information. This is especially true if the couple is just starting out and will actually use things off the the registry. I also don't care if someone has an expensive item on there. Just because it's on there doesn't mean you have to buy it, and you don't know the budgets of the people buying. I'm sure people side-eyed our having a Wii and a 42" TV on ours (Dh got a hold of the gun) but to SIL that was petty cash and she gave us both for Christmas.

I cannot dress myself at all, and have no sense of fashion (hence my post yesterday) which is why I gave my girls a color and let them chose. If I'm ever in a wedding I will be the annoying bridesmaid who makes the bride chose the dress (within a budget) because of this horrible fashion sense. These are pictures she will look at forever, not me, and I don't want to pick something horrible.

One of my friend's wedding had children's vows in it. Her husband had an 8 year old son and it was really important to her that he was included, because she wasn't just becoming a wife, she was becoming a mother too.

goheels05 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:83b9a83b-da6f-48b3-82ed-5d8dccf7c85f">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]I think unless you're like the Duggar family and you have like 12 million siblings and you're including all of them, it's absolutely grotesque to have a huge WP. Seriously, whenever I see like 9 people on each side, I always think "Ok, so one of you wanted to ask every friend you've ever had, and the other one had to scrounge up bodies so you'd have even sides".
Posted by megk8oz[/QUOTE]

::raises hand meekly::

Guilty as charged. Biggest regret from our wedding. DH had been in like 5 weddings and included all of them in his, as well as his sister's boyfriend and all of his friends from HS. If I had just said, "well that's fine but I'm having 3 bridesmaids" I think he would have backed down.

JenGin74 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:b887a5b2-5abc-4a59-b0c0-9b8e93f59906">Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]I loved the way my bms looked in their matching dresses. I think they all look hot and while matching may not be the way to go for every one, I am glad they picked it. I don't mind when a couple registers for ridiculous registry items (meaning high priced). If you don't want to spend that, then don't. I would prefer people to register for outrageous pillows they will actual use in their married home together than a facial on their honeymoon. In fact, I think it is more ridiculous when people register for things like paper towels than when they register for a high end vacuum. Now you go...
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

Was this directed at me because $200 pillows freak me out?

If so, I am sad <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-cry.gif" border="0" alt="Cry" title="Cry" />

katiewhompus · July 2010

Jen! I was thinking about you the other day and how you disappeared.

Bubbalub · July 2010

I hate garter tosses. It creeps me out to see the groom rooting around under the bride's skirt. I did it at my first wedding at it was so weird having all those people, including my Dad, watching it. *shudder*

I've never been to a wedding with a big gap. Just travel time between the church and the reception place, then cocktails started right away.

I don't care one way or the other about honeymoon registries and I don't usually judge what people put on their own registries unless it's something ridiculous or crass like lingerie.

I HATE line dances.

Oh, and I spent some money on my dress. I sew a lot and prefer natural fabrics because I sweat like a mofo. Sure, I found a polyester dress that looked very nice but I could FEEL that it was polyester and I didn't like how it felt against my legs. When I tried on the silk dresses it was like heaven and I felt beautiful and special. Plus, I want to preserve my dress, just in case. My aunt did this and one of her daughters wore her dress for her own wedding and the rest of the women in the family including us, her neices, get a piece of her dress as good luck when we get married. I love family history and things that are passed down the generations and I just couldn't see the point of preserving a polyester dress, yanno?

MeaghanandMichael · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:e5772d17-2fd8-4610-80c6-a7d896acd314">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Unpopular Wedding Opinions : Was this directed at me because $200 pillows freak me out? If so, I am sad
Posted by JenGin74[/QUOTE]

ha! god no, I never remember who said what on here...
plus, this is UNPOPULAR opinions ;)

RochelleAnn2302 · July 2010

i hate bird cage veils... loved them 2 years ago. now not so much. I just think it is one more thing that has been over done to hell (like candy bar)

i don't care about cash bar, has been the norm at weddings i've been to
don't mind the dollar dance, i think it is a nice way for anyone who wants a private moment with the bride to have a chance. I know you shouldn't have to pay for that privilege but at large wedding sometimes that is how the cookie crumbles!

megk8oz · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:116453f5-3d23-4d45-aeeb-4f8c79768344">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions : ::raises hand meekly:: Guilty as charged. Biggest regret from our wedding. DH had been in like 5 weddings and included all of them in his, as well as his sister's boyfriend and all of his friends from HS. If I had just said, "well that's fine but I'm having 3 bridesmaids" I think he would have backed down.
Posted by goheels05[/QUOTE]

I think it's a particularly hot button for me because when one of DH's first cousins got married, she excluded DH and his sister (The only 2 of her 9 first cousins that weren't invited- DH's dad and wife were invited and the single cousins were all given +1s) because "Oh, we just couldn't afford/remember to invite everybody". But then the wedding pictures got posted on FB and we saw that she had 10 BMs, 10 GMs, 4 FGs and 5 RBs. Bitch, you've got 29 attendants and you 'can't afford/remember' to invite 4 extra people?

It really hurt DH and his sister's feelings, and it created a lot of family drama, because she didn't tell anybody she excluded them, so the whole family thought DH and his sister just "blew off" her wedding for a while.

For the record, yes, we invited her and her husband to our wedding. They declined.

JenGin74 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:ac7b1ba8-9372-4763-a833-91f80769318a">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]Jen! I was thinking about you the other day and how you disappeared.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

I've been busy at work (today being the exception), and I've been spending my nights with Harry Potter.

It's nice that you thought of me :)

MeaghanandMichael · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:83b9a83b-da6f-48b3-82ed-5d8dccf7c85f">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]I think unless you're like the Duggar family and you have like 12 million siblings and you're including all of them, it's absolutely grotesque to have a huge WP. Seriously, whenever I see like 9 people on each side, I always think "Ok, so one of you wanted to ask every friend you've ever had, and the other one had to scrounge up bodies so you'd have even sides".
Posted by megk8oz[/QUOTE]

oh god this is my biggest wedding regret... although, at the time I was very close with all those girls and wanted even more bms! Call it "the first to get married' sydrome where I fell prey to every one expecting to be in the wedding.

If I could do it over again I would have one moh, two bms and my neice as jr bm and that would be it.

JenGin74 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:4efa3b6f-7ac8-4196-83c4-aedac87b84bf">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions : ha! god no, I never remember who said what on here... plus, this is UNPOPULAR opinions ;)
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

Gotcha.

My unpopular opinion: I absolutely hate registries. HATE them. I didn't register because I felt weird telling people what to buy and the thought of registering made me feel greedy, if that makes any sense.

goheels05 · July 2010

Me too, Meg. If I could do it over, it would be my sister, my bf from HS, and one college friend. I would probably puss out and also include DH's sister, but that's it.

Knottie1435582995 · July 2010

I didn't, initially, want to do a bouquet/garter toss. But, I had already nixed the dollar dance that DH wanted (because I think it's incredibly gift-grabby and not necessarily well accepted in my family). So, I sort of had to let DH have the tosses. It ended up being one of my favorite parts of the night. My BIL caught the garter by doing the most impressive jump/roll/dive I've ever seen. Then my cousin caught the bouqet having no idea what it "meant." After BIL put the garter on my cousin, my DJ decided to shake things up and said that now SHE got to put the garter on him! The rules: as soon as he smiled, it stopped. It was hysterical to watch, especially when my other cousin came out and started dancing with her sister. Needless to say, it didn't take very long for 2 cute girls to get my BIL to smile!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · July 2010

I haven't read these yet, but I think birdcage veils are overdone. They look great on some people, but if you have a huge ball dress, come on. They don't go together.

Candy buffets and photobooths are overdone.

I hate chucks on anyone at a wedding, period.

megk8oz · July 2010

I only had my 2 sisters and DH's sister. DH only had his 2 best friends and my brother. His nephew was a RB, and my youngest brother didn't want to be in the wedding (We asked, he flat out said "no").

It worked out to be even sides, but really, we really have no regrets about keeping it small, and aside from one of our mutual friends (And initially, we had asked her to perform the ceremony before we found out how complicated that gets legally in NJ), we don't feel bad about anybody that wasn't included.

SarahSmile23 · July 2010

let's see.

i hate assigned seating

i hate head tables

i like bouquet tosses

i think any reception longer than 3ish hours is too long and i will not stay longer than that

i hate gaps so much that i will probably skip either the ceremony or reception the next time i am invited to a wedding with a gap

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:55a570e7-f0b0-451d-8b51-2e036277af71">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]We had a cash bar to respect my father's wishes. In the midwest especially, this is not a big deal. I also think it's ridiculous when wedding planning is SO HARD. No. It's not. Get organized. Assert yourself with vendors. I think brides who have a SO HARD planning process are disorganized and pushovers.
Posted by Night_Sprite[/QUOTE]

A girl on my local and (formerly) my club board could NOT find and book a venue she and her FI liked in their 15 month engagement. She had 15 months to plan and kept complaining about how she couldn't find something they both loved, so they moved their wedding back. She was just soooo stressed. I'm sorry, I know people with less stress who have planned weddings in 5 months. She pushed her wedding back in May, I think, which means she couldn't find a VENUE, let alone any other vendors, in 10 months.

Actually, she put a deposit down on a venue and decided she didn't like it (because it was a morning ceremony instead of an evening ceremony) and now is mad she can't get her deposit back. That's what non-refundable deposit means...

JenGin74 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:0dce30ab-a503-4ca9-9660-3250ded5f0ac">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions : A girl on my local and (formerly) my club board could NOT find and book a venue she and her FI liked in their 15 month engagement. She had 15 months to plan and kept complaining about how she couldn't find something they both loved, so they moved their wedding back. She was just soooo stressed. I'm sorry, I know people with less stress who have planned weddings in 5 months. She pushed her wedding back in May, I think, which means she couldn't find a VENUE, let alone any other vendors, in 10 months. Actually, she put a deposit down on a venue and decided she didn't like it (because it was a morning ceremony instead of an evening ceremony) and now is mad she can't get her deposit back. That's what non-refundable deposit means...
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

That's ridiculous. It's a party, you know?

I planned our entire wedding in about 5 months and it was pretty much stress-free. I think people need to get a grip and realize that it's just a party and they are not, in fact, princesses.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:cecb9ad7-2cb9-45c1-a811-909a4b50d44a">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions : That's ridiculous. It's a party, you know? I planned our entire wedding in about 5 months and it was pretty much stress-free. I think people need to get a grip and realize that it's just a party and they are not, in fact, princesses.
Posted by JenGin74[/QUOTE]

I said something to her once like, "Well, so you'll have a morning wedding, but I'm sure it will still be great. At the end of the day all that matters is that you'll be married to your fiance, right?" You know, trying to keep things in perspective. She was all, "Of COURSE that's what matters, but I still want it to be perfect!!!" I guess everything she picks out, her FI vetoes. Ugh. I've met her IRL, too, so I feel bad saying this, but it's like EVERY post I see from her is something about the venue not giving her money back or not being able to make decisions.

Oh, yeah, and my BMs are wearing matching dresses. I agree, they look more put together than separates. Sorry, it's my wedding. Most people will wear what you want them to wear if it is YOUR wedding and they agree to be in the WP, especially if they have input in the dress. My BMs actually really like their dresses. Dunno if they'll wear them again, but at least they won't feel hideous the day-of.

Edit: I also don't like black BM dresses, especially not "just go find any black cocktail dress."

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:ed6a2b4e-3922-40c5-91e8-a1b21306e59e">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not gonna lie, my mom asked me what color I wanted her in and I told her what I wanted. I wouldn't flat out tell her but she asked. I am not a fan of sweetheart tables either. I unfortunately am having one because the set up of our venue doesn't work with a head table. I know it is completely acceptable to have an uneven wedding party but I think it looks weird if the WP isn't even.
Posted by amylydia23[/QUOTE]

I agree with this. But I hate large WPs. I'm pretty sure that both the bride and groom can pick 2-4 of their closest friends though and decide on an even sided wedding party.

reddy123 · July 2010

I think wedding planning is hard

I think it totally depends on the bride's expectations and how much help she has.

I made it (somewhat) hard for myself with my own decisions (except for size of FI's family!), so I try not to complain.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:916a0cc9-db52-4cc1-aa3f-307d4e15401c">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]P.S. FYI to all you wedding guests out there - just because it is a free bar doesn't mean you shouldn't tip the bartender. That is usually considered the proper thing to do unless the bartender specifically says no.
Posted by wendyw1107[/QUOTE]

Actually, I wouldn't want my guests to tip the bartender because *I* will be tipping the bartender at the end of the night. Since i'm the one paying the tab.

mica178 · July 2010

What are chucks?

I'm Catholic, and I think anything over a one hour gap is pure selfishness on the part of the couple. Even if there is a hospitality suite.

I hate the bouquet and garter tosses.

reddy123 · July 2010

mica- Chuck Taylor Shoes, named after the B-ball player, otherwise known as Converse.

andyandhillary · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:6ebd0448-91ad-46c0-add7-94ae3248eb72">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]What are chucks? I'm Catholic, and I think anything over a one hour gap is pure selfishness on the part of the couple. Even if there is a hospitality suite. I hate the bouquet and garter tosses.
Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]

As a guest, I actually prefer not eating ridiculously early and having a gap, if that's what it takes. My wedding ended at 3:30 pm and for my guests to start eating dinner at 4:30 (assuming a 1 hr cocktail hour) is just odd, to me. I think it's all about your reasons for having a gap.

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