Chit Chat

Just felt the need to share my story..

When I was fifteen, I found out I was pregnant. I didn't know what to do, my mom and stepdad were the youth directors at our church, and I just knew that my life was ruined forever. Now I look back and wonder how I could ever think that. I was terrified. I didn't really know what was going to happen to me. I knew that I loved him, and I also knew he loved me, but I still worried he would be mad and not stick around. He gave me a promise ring the day our sweet baby girl was born. He stuck with me through it all. Finally, on my 18th birthday(October 14, 2012), he proposed. I'm proud to say, he is the love of my life. Little Miss Ava brought us even closer together. :)

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Re: Just felt the need to share my story..

  • edited November 2012
    ICongratulations on your engagement!
    My birthday is also on October 14th but not the same year lol

    n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:873aef6f-26bb-4b38-b6cb-191bf0aa9342">Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
    [QUOTE]When I was fifteen, I found out I was pregnant. I didn't know what to do, my mom and stepdad were the youth directors at our church, and I just knew that my life was ruined forever. Now I look back and wonder how I could ever think that. I was terrified. I didn't really know what was going to happen to me. I knew that I loved the baby's daddy, and I also knew he loved me, but I still worried he would be mad and not stick around. He gave me a promise ring the day our sweet baby girl was born. He stuck with me through it all. Finally, on my 18th birthday(October 14, 2012), he proposed. I'm proud to say, he is the love of my life. Little Miss Ava brought us even closer together. :)
    Posted by eesh33[/QUOTE]
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:548b7a14-b856-4fbf-9fdc-90c080ca7ad9">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Just felt the need to share my story.. : Babies having babies and then getting married .  Good luck with that.
    Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

    Look, I was different then, I have straightened myself up A LOT! I know that it was wrong, but that doesn't make my baby a mistake.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:0a0bda5f-4633-4dc1-b38d-a838eb41e397">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
    [QUOTE]ICongratulations on your engagement! My birthday is also on October 14th but not the same year lol n Response to Just felt the need to share my story.. :
    Posted by franklissa[/QUOTE]

    Thank you! LOL, I used to hate being an October baby when I was younger, but now I love it!  :)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:9528ba5b-d186-4b37-bb86-10fd108e11fa">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : Not if you're getting engaged and planning a wedding at 18. I didn't say your baby was a mistake.  I said you were a child who had a baby (poor kid) and is now planning a wedding.  Your defensiveness tells me you know this to be true.
    Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

    We had already planned to get married at 18 before I even got pregnant. Yes, I was a child who had a baby. Like I said, I know it wasn't the best thing. If I could I would have put it off until i was older, but it is what it is. God had a plan. :)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:59055f13-c3d7-4768-9b45-055cd7bb910a">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : I have to agree with this. Also OP according to your bio, you're getting married in 2013. I'd encourage a longer engagement - having a baby does not mean that you have to get married. Take some time and enjoy being engaged. As a younger bride myself, I hate it when people tell me that I'm too young to get married (I'll be 23 when I get married), but I have to parrot them in this case. You'll be 19 when you get married I'm assuming? Have a longer engagement and enjoy this time. Congrats!
    Posted by laurelrenee1[/QUOTE]

    We discussed moving the date for this reason. Thank you! :) Congrats to you as well! :)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:5b2e8157-7872-42a8-80ef-0a9ad8fb33be">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : We had already planned to get married at 18 before I even got pregnant. Yes, I was a child who had a baby. Like I said, I know it wasn't the best thing. If I could I would have put it off until i was older, but it is what it is. God had a plan. :)
    Posted by eesh33[/QUOTE]

    <div>OK not to come off as a complete biatch but you cannot convince me that GOD had anything to do with this. You had sex outside of marriage, you got pregnant. That is called a consequence of your action. It doesnt make you a bad person, but blaming your lack of planning/maturity on "God had a plan" tells me you need to spend some more time reading your bible and growing up. </div><div>
    </div><div>Good luck with the engagement/marriage/parenting and my prayers will be for you to be the exception, where in 20 years you can look back at the crazy witch on TK who said getting married at 18 with a child was a bad idea. </div>
    image
  • Sorry I just realized the way that sounded. I meant that if God didn't have a plan, I would have lost the baby during the pregnancy. As for "keeping it in my pants", I already said I have changed and I knew it was wrong. Again, if I could go back and wait a few years, I would have!  I have already asked for forgiveness and that has nothing to do with you anyway.

  • Why would you refer to him as baby daddy if you were with him the whole time and he is now your FI? I guess I only hear people use that term when the father is a heaping pile of elephant dung.
  • Ummm...maybe I just didn't wanna share his name...?

  • I don't want to be mean but i agree with a lot of sentiments in this thread... baby or not, 18 is very young to be getting married. To put things in perspective for you, I'll be 31 when I tie the knot. I'm not saying my way is the right way, but a person changes a lot from 18 to their late 20's and early 30's. Take the time to get to know yourself and experience life, travel, see the world. There is so much out there. I wish you the best.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:dead4cc9-8147-4beb-bb92-f89cae23b0f5">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ummm...maybe I just didn't wanna share his name...?
    Posted by eesh33[/QUOTE]

    Ummm, you don't have to. Thats why we use terms and/or abbreviations like 'fiance' 'boyfriend' or 'husband'. You could say his name is Elvis and we wouldn't know any better, nor care any less.
  • You could have said your FI.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:1b478e42-2cc2-441f-8bed-852e6749287d">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't want to be mean but i agree with a lot of sentiments in this thread... baby or not, 18 is very young to be getting married. To put things in perspective for you, I'll be 31 when I tie the knot. I'm not saying my way is the right way, but a person changes a lot from 18 to their late 20's and early 30's. Take the time to get to know yourself and experience life, travel, see the world. There is so much out there. I wish you the best.
    Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

    Thank you! It's nice to have someone not say something negative about me and my mistakes. :)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:dead4cc9-8147-4beb-bb92-f89cae23b0f5">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ummm...maybe I just didn't wanna share his name...?
    Posted by eesh33[/QUOTE]

    But then you'd be calling him your FI or b/f, if that's what he is.  "Baby Daddy" tends to be reserved for "that dude I banged but am not dating but now I have a child with him and I don't know what else to call him and I'm too lazy to type out 'the father of my child'".  It's a little weird to call a serious SO your "baby daddy."
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:9b4246f4-a395-4ae3-a07b-9e2096f8d860">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : But then you'd be calling him your FI or b/f, if that's what he is.  "Baby Daddy" tends to be reserved for "that dude I banged but am not dating but now I have a child with him and I don't know what else to call him and I'm too lazy to type out 'the father of my child'".  It's a little weird to call a serious SO your "baby daddy."
    Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

    Not trying to be mean, but really, why does it matter what she calls him? She is 18 anyway... she has a lot of growing up to do. The even bigger issue here is that she should wait to get married and avoid making an even bigger mistake getting married at 18.
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  • edited November 2012
    Owning, these bebes never, ever, ever listen.  Never in the history of TK has a teenage mom who posted to "show us all" how "awesome" her "get married to the dude who I got knocked up with sophomore year" plan is listened to anything anyone has said about not compounding your teenage stupidity with additional, legally binding stupidity of the marriage variety.  I'd rather figure out why the hel! she's calling her fiance a baby daddy, because that's something I might actually get an answer to.

    ETA:  And also I don't think OP is a real person, I think she's a troll.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:5c35c888-53cf-4296-8039-bc6a733976b3">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : Not trying to be mean, but really, why does it matter what she calls him? She is 18 anyway... she has a lot of growing up to do. The even bigger issue here is that she should wait to get married and avoid making an even bigger mistake getting married at 18.
    Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

    It was weird, which is why I pointed it out. It gives off a completely different image of the father if she were to refer to her boyfriend who gave her the promise ring rather than her baby daddy. Nothing wrong with people focusing on different aspects of a beautiful against all odds love story such as this.
  • First of all, if your going to be judgmental, PLEASE stay out of this conversation. I'm not here to show you how "awesome I am for getting knocked up." I have yet to understand why so many of you woman are so snappy with everybody. All I gotta say is get your butt off your shoulders and be nice for a change! Thanks OwningAHome1981 for not being negative.
  • Eesh, I really hope you're planning to continue your education beyond high school.  You will need stronger reading comprehension skills than the ones you've demonstrated here to make it in the grown-up world.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:889ef8c4-f999-42eb-b486-ca915655137d">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong> I have yet to understand why so many of you woman are so snappy with everybody. All I gotta say is get your butt off your shoulders and be nice for a change!</strong> Thanks OwningAHome1981 for not being negative.
    Posted by eesh33[/QUOTE]

    <div>Hmmm....methinks she hasn't been here very long if she thinks this is snappy.... I'm calling MUD on this too</div>
    image
  • edited November 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:889ef8c4-f999-42eb-b486-ca915655137d">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
    [QUOTE]First of all, if your going to be judgmental, PLEASE stay out of this conversation. I'm not here to show you how "awesome I am for getting knocked up." I have yet to understand why so many of you woman are so snappy with everybody. All I gotta say is get your butt off your shoulders and be nice for a change! Thanks OwningAHome1981 for not being negative.
    Posted by eesh33[/QUOTE]

    I lost my home in a hurricane so I have no choice but to be nice to people right now. I just wish people would show me the same respect.

    Anyway, look, people make mistakes, you can't change your past but you can change your future. IMO, getting married at 18 would be a big big mistake. If you love this guy and he loves you, he will wait... and your love will grow stronger as a result.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:548b7a14-b856-4fbf-9fdc-90c080ca7ad9">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Just felt the need to share my story.. : Babies having babies and then getting married .  Good luck with that.
    Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

    <div>I had my son 14 days before I turned 16, I then had my daughter a week before my 21st birthday. I finished school and continued on to college which I have also finished. I am now an RN at the age of 24. For people to judge young mothers is a horrible thing to do. A lot of the time young mothers are better than older mothers, being as we try harder to make it and make our childrens life better than ours was, plus we're young and able to play with them and chase them around the house and keep up with them. Where older mothers start having health issues before their child is old enough to take care of themselves... </div><div>
    </div><div>Just some food for thought... Judging people isn't anyone else's job.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:39cf33de-78dc-4645-b6b8-09d2b491cfcd">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : This makes me stabby.  If someone had told me that it was "god's plan" when I miscarried, I would have punched them in the face.
    Posted by kwitherington[/QUOTE]
    'm sorry for your loss. I'm just saying that if God didn't have a plan for my baby, something would have happened. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:cd6a6d4f-5add-493c-8060-9fa4cabb1fa2">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : Hmmm....methinks she hasn't been here very long if she thinks this is snappy.... I'm calling MUD on this too
    Posted by rusngl2[/QUOTE]

    I thought so, but she has posted on two boards asking how to add a photo to her signature.   Do MUDs usually do that? 

    I think this one may be real... but, just a child.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:39ca83cb-d29c-45ae-9c80-76fdff48be32">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : I lost my home in a hurricane so I have no choice but to be nice to people right now. I just wish people would show me the same respect. Anyway, look, people make mistakes, you can't change your past but you can change your future. IMO, getting married at 18 would be a big big mistake. If you love this guy and he loves you, he will wait... and your love will grow stronger as a result.
    Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

    I'm so very sorry about your home. We did talk about waiting a few years. We both agree that if the love is as true as we think, it will still be there later on.
  • I do however agree that you should wait to be married. 18 is REALLY young, there's so much more you could be doing with your life. Marriage is something that sticks with you forever. Even if you get a divorce it will still be there. I mean you already have to deal with this man until the day one of you die "whether your child is 18 or not". Marriage can make or break a relationship, and as weird as it may sound, a wide selection of women who have children outside of marriage believe their childrens father to be THE ONE! Having a child with someone does give you that crazy connection but you are very young (Not saying I'm not) and if you were sleeping with him at 15 that doesn't make it seem like you know what else could be out there. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:5afd3bed-4de7-4913-a89d-abf0785a4455">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : I had my son 14 days before I turned 16, I then had my daughter a week before my 21st birthday. I finished school and continued on to college which I have also finished. I am now an RN at the age of 24. For people to judge young mothers is a horrible thing to do. A lot of the time young mothers are better than older mothers, being as we try harder to make it and make our childrens life better than ours was, plus we're young and able to play with them and chase them around the house and keep up with them. Where older mothers start having health issues before their child is old enough to take care of themselves...  Just some food for thought... Judging people isn't anyone else's job.
    Posted by DianasGoingToTheChapel[/QUOTE]

    Thank you DianasGoingToTheChapel :)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:4081af78-dce1-4a45-9251-7dd2930f53fd">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : 'm sorry for your loss. <strong>I'm just saying that if God didn't have a plan for my baby, something would have happened. 
    </strong>Posted by eesh33[/QUOTE]

    So by this logic, any baby that doesn't make to term is what?  God's trash?  Some extra non-baby He didn't have plan for?  That's horrifically offensive.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:4081af78-dce1-4a45-9251-7dd2930f53fd">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : 'm sorry for your loss. I'm just saying that if God didn't have a plan for my baby, something would have happened. 
    Posted by eesh33[/QUOTE]

    What you're saying is still obtuse.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:9b34f3dd-ed47-4d34-a3d6-14720eea6ea2">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : So by this logic, any baby that doesn't make to term is what?  God's trash?  Some extra non-baby He didn't have plan for?  That's horrifically offensive.
    Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

    That's not what I meant...
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