I think that is standard if not on the 'nice' side. I am a bridesmaid in multiple weddings this year and have been asked to get a matching dress and shoes to the other girls in the wedding for each wedding. I was not given a chose of color, design, or price. Its pretty much what I expected and it's something I will do for my best friends. You have your vision for the day, just go with it and your friends will support you.
I think what you need to ask yourself if you would think it unreasonable if you were a bm in one of their weddings, or something you could agree to without a second thought. I think its great for you to have standards but still allow them to find something that fits them well. I agree - busty girls don't need to be strapless! One thing I would suggest in addition, is that you find dresses that are made of the same material, so you don't have half of your girls looking shiny in a satin or taffeta, and the others matte in a chiffon. best of luck!
I had the exact same rules for my bridesmaids. I was originally VERY against strapless because of the same top- heavy issue, I didn't want everyne looking at their chests. But keep an open-mind. I went with my girls as they tried on dresses and my most top- heavy girl tried on a strapless. It had boning in the dress, and she was COMPLETELY covered. If the dress is made properly, the "girls" should not be hanging out. My 3 girls vary in size from a size 1 to a size 12. They all ended up loving the same dress, and they ALL look great in it. You are deffinatley NOT a bridezilla
I think the very fact that you are concerned about whether you're being a bridezilla means you are not one. :-) Sounds like you've got it under control. When I was a BM the thing I was most upset about was having to spend $120 on an unattractive dress I can never wear again, so I was very concerned about price when I was picking dresses for my BMs. I ended up finding nice brown satin dresses that I really like on target.com for $15 each! Just think about your requests and how you ask them from their perspective before you ask and you'll be fine. Sounds like you're being a lot more considerate than a lot of brides. :-)
Absolutely not! I agree with the earlier post about how your present 'the rules' but allowing them to select a dress they like (even with a couple rules) is far better than being squashed into one that does not fit your style/body type. My two girls have the same color but different styles and then 'silver' shoes of their choice!
you are absolutely not being a bridezilla. its your wedding and you are entitled to have your 'maids wearing what you want. they have it lucky bc you are letting them choose their own, you could tell them exactly what they have to wear ... think about it. i would just phrase the "must" to something more like "i would really prefer you to not have strapless at all." they shouldn't really ask questions bc its YOUR wedding.
i am doing sort of the same - color, material, designer. check out www.dessy.com - lots of non-strapless options in lots of fabric choices (and colors).
I don't think so at all. I personally told my girls they had to get there dress at a certain vendor and it had to be a specific color but it could be any dress they wanted ( I just wanted the color to be exactly the same). A lot of brides will pick out the dress and the color and what not without even considering what the bridesmaids thing. You are still giving them a lot of freedom and still getting what you want.
I chose the same dress and color for all my girls! I also don't want my girls in strapless, but I did buy them a strapless dress from David's Bridal and bought the 2 yards of material for $25 dollars and my sister is going to make straps for the girls... thats another easy alternative if they do choose strapless! Hope that helps! good luck!
Totally NOT a bridezilla. Color and length are pretty much standard, strapless might bother some, but I say there are tons of options besides strapless. If one of my BM's would really protest/have a problem with it I might reconsider, otherwise there are many options and ways to mix up a dress besides strapless.
I don't think your being "birdezillaish", you have a vision and you know what you want, but yet you're being sweet and letting the girls pick their own style of dress.
I did pick the color and same style for my MOH and BM but they both love the dress and the colors i chose, so i was lucky. It's strapless but does come with a strap and also a wrap.
The only thing i think i'm being a bridezilla on and i joke when i say that...is that i prefer them not to wear the straps during the ceremony...but if they want to at the reception that's perfectly fine.
And since i'm doing floor length i told them i don't care what style of shoe they chose as long as it's dyed to match the dress is fine with me. I also told them under no circumstances are ANYof us wearing stockings! We're in dresses all day long, so no need to stuff ourselves into a pair of stockings, no one will see them anyways. I'm even considering getting the girls some comfy slippers to change into during the reception so that we can dance the nite away in comfort.
Weddings are supposed to a joyous and fun occasion. You can't have any fun if you're forced to wear the world's most hideous dress, with shoes that are more like a midevil torture device and stuffed into stockings like a sausge.
Your attedants will love you no matter what you make them do and make them wear, but if you compromise with them, they'll love you even more.
I did the exact same thing to my bridesmaids except that we are having the dresses made. I gave them my "rules" and let them each design their own dress from there. I think it's still nicer than forcing all of them to wear the same dress!
I think that that's completely reasonable...you want your look to mesh but you want the girls to have freedom and I think your three rules make for that. I was probably a little stricter, but I had a similar set of requirements: 1 must be the color I assign, 2 must be floor length, 3. must be empire waist. And none of my bridesmaids seemed to mind the rule...my MOH even found her dress that matched all her criteria at a second hand store for $18!!!!!!!! (and I totally approved it!)
As an employee of a bridal shop I tell people all day everyday...."Who cares what anyone else thinks, its your day!" As a bride myself I don't think you sound bridezillaish at all those are fairly common requests from the bride. You aren't a bridezilla until you demand on a dress, a hair style, a set of jewelry, shoes, oh and that your girls must pay and use your hair stylist and nail for one month before the wedding, which one of my customers did! If your bms love you (which it they are close enough to you to be your bms they better!) they will happily wear whatever you ask them to and be grateful to be a part of your special day!
Lol...I'm just having a MOH, and we are close enough for her to know that I am controlling and that there will be certain things she will have to reign me in on. That being said, I picked out a few dresses that I knew would look good with her figure and the color and then let her pick out the final outcome. The color wasn't the hardest part and actually the color fell in line as I found a color that looked great on her, which just so happened to match very well with my favorite color. She'll be wearing a very light peach that almost looks cream with sage trim which is my fav. So anyway, I chose the dress based on her figure and complexion, I also chose to go with separates so she can wear the top again whenever she wanted. The most important thing for me in picking out her dress was her. How it would look on her and if she could rewear it due to cost. But all this being said....it's your wedding, your vision and you have a certain theme or image in mind. Be nice with how you say things like the other ladies said, but bottom line...it's your day.
i don't think it makes you a bridezilla at all. i have been a bridesmaid in four weddings and the brides just told us what dress we had to buy, they never gave any say in anything. its your day. and the people your wedding party will just want to enjoy it with you, none of them will even remember what they have on because all the focus is on you.
NO. I actually had the same rules for my bridesmaids. i brought them to davids bridal, picked a color i liked, said it had to be knee length and they started trying them on.. funny enough they all picked the same one so it worked out for everyone! and they were only $135. Just remind her that it is YOUR wedding, some brides dont even let their BM's help pick dresses out! so she should be happy that she can at least find one that she likes and is comfortable and that she can maybe wear again. : )
That's definitely NOT too many rules. I'm getting married in September of this year and I did the same thing with my bridesmaids. They could pick out whichever dress they wanted as long as it was the color I wanted and they ran it by me. I actually had to tell 2 of them that they couldn't wear the dresses they picked because I didn't like them and I didn't think it was going with what I was looking for. They shouldn't expect to be able to pick out whatever dress they want, because you do NOT want their dress out shining yours. YOU are supposed to be the one everyone is looking at that day!!! )
Today I had a blow out on the phone with my fiance over bridesmaids shoes. I told his sisters I did not think the hot pink shoes they picked out really fit my vision and he told me I am being selfish to not take advise from his sisters. Wow that really brought the bridezilla out. I am so embarrassed but, I think it is insane to tell someone what their colors will be. I think as a bridesmaid you need to grin and bear it. I want a classy wedding. I don't need hot pink, feathered hooker shoes. n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_many-rules-bridezilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:a1f1d375-6a48-4eb2-9855-0025de2f4143Post:d7ba3f95-0253-43d5-a14c-46acf24dc1b4">How many "rules" make you a bridezilla?</a>: [QUOTE]I'm not getting married until September of 2011 and let me please put this out there right now - I am NOT ready to make final decisions on anything except venue. However, my sister and I are close and it's been known since high school she would eventually be in my wedding, either as my MOH or a BM. Now that I'm officially engaged, she's starting to look at BM dresses so that she can start to save for the one she picks out. I've decided to pick a color and let my bridesmaids choose their own dress..with a few "rules" attatched. 1. They must be the color I've chosen (and I plan to hand out swatches from several different designers so that they can find one they like in the right color at an acceptable price of them). 2. It must be cocktail (to the knee) or tea (to the calf) length. 3. It may not be strapless. Am I limiting them too much? Is this encroaching on bridezilla territory? If it is, please let me know....my sister is asking for "the rules" and I don't know what to say! Posted by sweetpea0911[/QUOTE]
I actually find this type of conversation funny. The way I always knew it, the bride just plain picked the dress and they just have to go get their size and order it so they can get any alterations done. That is just what I did too. I found the dress, had my Maid of Honor try it on to make sure I really liked it. Then let the brides maids know so they can try it on and all that. I guess it all depends on what you are used to seeing happen when people get married. If I just gave them some things I wanted for the dress and then let them have free range, first they would look at me like I am crazy, two the dresses would never be bought unless all of them got together and picked out the same dress anyway. That is my thought anyway. I just went and picked out something really cute that they can wear to something after the wedding.
I don't think that is too much at all. I don't want strapless either. Unfortunately it certainly is the trend, but they can find something. I think your requests are very fair. It's far less limiting than picking a dress and telling them all to buy that one. Good luck with your wedding.
No! You're not being Bridezilla! I am not having strapless either; mine are just SUPER thin! I have the same length as well. My dress is the only strapless one. I even picked the dresses myself; but mine are the kneelength; cute for like if you go out some night or soemthing, simple, but cute enough for a wedding!
so; no you're not being Bridezilla about this!!! =] Hope your wedding turns out great! Mines only 31 days away!!!
you are almost giving them too many options. Honestly, I originally wanted to let my bridemaids pick their own gowns out as well, but after going for the hunt with my three sisters, there are just Too many designers and too many options. Trust me on this one, if you have more than 4 BM, its going to be out of control, everyone will be calling you (and even though I didnt mind answering questions , you get burnt out saying the same thing 87 times) Its easiest to pick one or two designers you like best, and let your girls know what bridal shops carry them.
PS even though the 'color' is the same, the shade of color may be different. (my bridal gown and BM dress consultant had filled me in) thats why all of my girls had to have their dresses ordered at the same time and made from the same ream of fabric.
its very complicated and lots of details, and being the bride, it can be difficult.
also, if the wedding isnt until sept 11, have them start looking in november of this year, because the new spring line for 11 will be out then.
Re: How many &quot;rules&quot; make you a bridezilla?
http://www.venusbridal.com/dresses.php?c=11&page=4&x=1
I like TM1547 (pg 4), TM1545 and TM1544 (pg 5) as well as TM1541.
I go to a traditional church, most (if not all) of the girls are getting spaghetti straps and all are wearing pashminas.
Absolutely not! I agree with the earlier post about how your present 'the rules' but allowing them to select a dress they like (even with a couple rules) is far better than being squashed into one that does not fit your style/body type. My two girls have the same color but different styles and then 'silver' shoes of their choice!
you are absolutely not being a bridezilla. its your wedding and you are entitled to have your 'maids wearing what you want. they have it lucky bc you are letting them choose their own, you could tell them exactly what they have to wear ... think about it. i would just phrase the "must" to something more like "i would really prefer you to not have strapless at all." they shouldn't really ask questions bc its YOUR wedding.
i am doing sort of the same - color, material, designer. check out www.dessy.com - lots of non-strapless options in lots of fabric choices (and colors).
I did pick the color and same style for my MOH and BM but they both love the dress and the colors i chose, so i was lucky. It's strapless but does come with a strap and also a wrap.
The only thing i think i'm being a bridezilla on and i joke when i say that...is that i prefer them not to wear the straps during the ceremony...but if they want to at the reception that's perfectly fine.
And since i'm doing floor length i told them i don't care what style of shoe they chose as long as it's dyed to match the dress is fine with me. I also told them under no circumstances are ANYof us wearing stockings! We're in dresses all day long, so no need to stuff ourselves into a pair of stockings, no one will see them anyways. I'm even considering getting the girls some comfy slippers to change into during the reception so that we can dance the nite away in comfort.
Weddings are supposed to a joyous and fun occasion. You can't have any fun if you're forced to wear the world's most hideous dress, with shoes that are more like a midevil torture device and stuffed into stockings like a sausge.
Your attedants will love you no matter what you make them do and make them wear, but if you compromise with them, they'll love you even more.
I think it's still nicer than forcing all of them to wear the same dress!
As an employee of a bridal shop I tell people all day everyday...."Who cares what anyone else thinks, its your day!" As a bride myself I don't think you sound bridezillaish at all those are fairly common requests from the bride. You aren't a bridezilla until you demand on a dress, a hair style, a set of jewelry, shoes, oh and that your girls must pay and use your hair stylist and nail for one month before the wedding, which one of my customers did! If your bms love you (which it they are close enough to you to be your bms they better!) they will happily wear whatever you ask them to and be grateful to be a part of your special day!
[QUOTE]I'm not getting married until September of 2011 and let me please put this out there right now - I am NOT ready to make final decisions on anything except venue. However, my sister and I are close and it's been known since high school she would eventually be in my wedding, either as my MOH or a BM. Now that I'm officially engaged, she's starting to look at BM dresses so that she can start to save for the one she picks out. I've decided to pick a color and let my bridesmaids choose their own dress..with a few "rules" attatched. 1. They must be the color I've chosen (and I plan to hand out swatches from several different designers so that they can find one they like in the right color at an acceptable price of them). 2. It must be cocktail (to the knee) or tea (to the calf) length. 3. It may not be strapless. Am I limiting them too much? Is this encroaching on bridezilla territory? If it is, please let me know....my sister is asking for "the rules" and I don't know what to say!
Posted by sweetpea0911[/QUOTE]
Good luck with your wedding.
No! You're not being Bridezilla! I am not having strapless either; mine are just SUPER thin! I have the same length as well. My dress is the only strapless one. I even picked the dresses myself; but mine are the kneelength; cute for like if you go out some night or soemthing, simple, but cute enough for a wedding!
so; no you're not being Bridezilla about this!!! =] Hope your wedding turns out great! Mines only 31 days away!!!
PS even though the 'color' is the same, the shade of color may be different. (my bridal gown and BM dress consultant had filled me in) thats why all of my girls had to have their dresses ordered at the same time and made from the same ream of fabric.
its very complicated and lots of details, and being the bride, it can be difficult.
also, if the wedding isnt until sept 11, have them start looking in november of this year, because the new spring line for 11 will be out then.