WP struggles

stina93446 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wp-struggles?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b63c8a89-c1e9-4f30-b18e-493a77f9b2dcPost:fa64e42a-7ac5-4caa-8208-c5989d5287c3">Re: WP struggles</a>:
[QUOTE] <strong>SPotlight dances.. father daughter and mother son? those i like..they get me choked up to watch..</strong> i am mushy like that. anyway i think i have all the advice i need.. lopsided BP be damned and talk shop with the girls.. which is probably easier than i think.. i tend to worry a little too much about hurting ppl's feelings etc.
Posted by Rabbit79[/QUOTE]

<div>I like them too. However, I don't like them when my table is a million miles away from the dance floor. I am an actress and so I wanted my wedding to be not only fun but also entertaining, so DH and I went to dance lessons and did a nice foxtrot for our first dance, and then our parents dances had some nice turns in them. </div>

mbcdefg · August 2010

The Mother/Son and Father/Daughter dances actually have meaning, whereas the Wedding Party dance just seems like a stupid waste of time to me.

I mean, if you have all married couples, or at least all good friends, in the wedding party, then it makes sense to have them dance together. But making people who are usually strangers just dance with each other (especially when they have their own significant others in the room) just doesn't have a point.

If you want a group of people to help you start off the dancing, or to take some of the focus off you and your fiance, I don't see a problem with inviting your bridal party and their dates up to finish the song with you. (We asked our DJ to invite all the couples in attendance to finish out our first dance with us, since we picked a pretty long song and we didn't want to be up there alone for five minutes.)

I don't think anyone here would argue that a Father/Daughter or Mother/Son dance is a waste like a WP Dance is.

stina93446 · August 2010

I've been to weddings as a guest where the bride asked us to get up and dance to make the groom more at ease on the first dance and take the focus off of them. It wasn't so bad, but I prefer watching it.

vsgal · August 2010

We did not do the tosses at all. I made my bouquet from beads and was not looking forward to getting rid of it. Nobody thought twice about them.

We did do the father/daughter dance and Mother/son joined about halfway through. We did our first dance.

Like PP's said, you don't have to do anything but sign the license, have seats for every tush and provide food and drinks (no cash bar).

Rabbit79 · August 2010

SO i just spent the last half hour sharing my ideas born of this thread with my FI.. i couldn't believe he was head strong about having even numbers.. more so than i was! HOWEVER i shared what was shared with me and he relaxed quite a bit..we even realised how nice it might be for him to be one shirt (he was one best man and i have 2 people of honor-now the best man can escort my sisters down the isle!)

thank god he is ok with no WP dance.. he wants to do a wish dance instead of no dollar dance and i bowed to him on that one.. i just don't want ppl pulling out their wallets at the reception.

he balked when i shared about my feelings on the bouqet (he's veru traditonal) so i told him how it mad eme feel to stand up there..and i suggested we research other cultures and traditions to find one that suits us (we are very open minded to trying new things..its one of the things we love about eachother).

I have seen the anniversary dance..it's always very nice. Unfortunately i don't think it will work for our families. It might only serve to highlight divorces etc. His father is deceased and his mother is on her third marriage.. my folks are seperated for 10 yearsdivorce STILL pending so my father is unable to marry his long term partner..and both of all of our grandfather's have passed away. SO basically, there won't be a cute old couple wioth 50+ years under their belt for everyone to moon over. It is a REALLY nice idea though..just not for us. However this thread opened a lot of disucssion for us and opned our view of our wedding..i feel a great sense of relief... being truly open to do what we want instead of what "tradition" calls for.

aerinpegadrak · August 2010

Yay, that sounds awesome! I'm so glad you're able to talk honestly with your FI and bring him around, it's extraordinarily freeing to realize that you're not bound by tradition and what you've seen done before.

As far as an alternate bouquet idea, my favorite is to toss a bouquet of lottery tickets and open it up to all of the guests, single or married, male or female. Guarantee you'll have a good turnout for it.

The wish dance is a nice alternative to the dollar dance, too, we were going to do that at our wedding before we cut out dancing entirely.

Stick around and play! We like brides who are open to new ideas.

bablingbrooke · August 2010

I'm really glad that you found it helpful and were able to talk to your FI about it! My FI was uneasy at the idea of uneven sides at first too, but once I told him how we could do the processional/recessional he got on board. It's one of those things where a lot of people first think, "Well of course we have to have even sides!' then think about it a minute and say, "Well, actually, why couldn't we have uneven sides? Where is it written? What is the impact?" Getting to that point about a lot of wedding traditions opens up a world of possibilities. So happy that you're finding ways to make it your own

ETA: It's also so refreshing to see someone open-minded! Too many girls on this board say, "Even sides are non-negotiable! Uneven sides are unacceptable! Don't answer the question I didn't ask! Which BFF do I cut?"

aerinpegadrak · August 2010

I think someone already mentioned offbeatbride.com, but I highly recommend it. Reading that site blew my little mind, and I got so many fabulous ideas for my wedding from that site. It will totally flip your assumptions about what a wedding should be.

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