Reception Venue Help

JessicaLinick · March 2010

OK...I know I said we should end this post unless it was going back to the original question, but since I need to defend myself AGAIN...

Please go back and read the thread. I asked a question asking about venue reccommendations. I get judged, insulted, called names, and am told to F off, and I'm the one the turned it into nonsense? If you look at my past posts you will see that I have stated MULTIPLE TIMES that I do not have a problem with people disagreeing with me or having different opinions. I even stated in one post that perhaps some of my wording was off in some of the things I said. As I have also said before, I did not come here and ask my question to pick a fight or start issues. I came here for guidance, advice, and suggestions. So please, let's focus on the reason we are all here and stop picking on me/each other. It is certainly not making me feel welcome to a community that could have been a great resource for me, especially since I am planning a wedding cross country and need all the help I can get!

cherylanddan0706 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_reception-venue-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:e7c0d749-2781-4f03-86ff-58e49b355cc6Post:fbcbd39f-f57a-4f32-9b63-10d9f9f53de7">Re: Reception Venue Help</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reception Venue Help : I think people on the board should give advice about WEDDING related stuff on the WEDDING RELATED POSTS. This post was suppossed to be about helping Jessica with venues and it turned into nonsense.
Posted by Lolyalyssa[/QUOTE]

OH you are right...puppies rainbows, I remember, hope you get what you are looking for here, and don't cry over honesty that your friends won't give you...Be gone

Lolyalyssa · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_reception-venue-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:e7c0d749-2781-4f03-86ff-58e49b355cc6Post:20fefa4a-7d6f-4e7f-a239-616c2f635ac0">Re: Reception Venue Help</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reception Venue Help : OH you are right...puppies rainbows, I remember, hope you get what you are looking for here, and don't cry over honesty that your friends won't give you...Be gone
Posted by cherylanddan0706[/QUOTE]

This is a perfect example of "nonsense".

jaimelody · March 2010

Jessica you don't need to defend yourself. You don't know anyone here. Take what you will from what the girls here are saying, and leave the rest. I don't think anyone is trying to be deliberately mean to you - just pointing out what seems to be obvious to them and not you bc you aren't from NJ. Weddings are more expensive here, you'll probably save yourself (and parents) more money doing the wedding in another state.

JessicaLinick · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_reception-venue-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:e7c0d749-2781-4f03-86ff-58e49b355cc6Post:407944ff-0985-40c7-a44b-6e8a9789a5ff">Re: Reception Venue Help</a>:
[QUOTE]Jessica you don't need to defend yourself. You don't know anyone here. Take what you will from what the girls here are saying, and leave the rest. I don't think anyone is trying to be deliberately mean to you - just pointing out what seems to be obvious to them and not you bc you aren't from NJ. Weddings are more expensive here, you'll probably save yourself (and parents) more money doing the wedding in another state.
Posted by jaimelody[/QUOTE]

Thanks for the advice. I live in CA, but I am FROM Jersey, lived there most of my life, and my family lives out there, so I am well aware of the costs. I actually really want to have the wedding out here, but my mother insists I have it in NJ where all the family is (and I can't say she's crazy for saying that...it's a good point).

jaimelody · March 2010

Well, she can say that because she's paying for it.

JessicaLinick · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_reception-venue-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:e7c0d749-2781-4f03-86ff-58e49b355cc6Post:50ed7fbb-fd1d-44e9-8da8-749e97fd1d27">Re: Reception Venue Help</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, she can say that because she's paying for it.
Posted by jaimelody[/QUOTE]

Yup...quite the Catch 22!

Lolyalyssa · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_reception-venue-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:e7c0d749-2781-4f03-86ff-58e49b355cc6Post:baf1b611-b2e5-43ab-888b-0a5425f6cb48">Re: Reception Venue Help</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reception Venue Help : Thanks for the advice. I live in CA, but I am FROM Jersey, lived there most of my life, and my family lives out there, so I am well aware of the costs. I actually really want to have the wedding out here, but my mother insists I have it in NJ where all the family is (and I can't say she's crazy for saying that...it's a good point).
Posted by JessicaLinick[/QUOTE]

I really think you can do it for $100pp if you book WAY in advance and do a Sunday or Friday night on a regular (not holiday/three day) weekend.

The best ways to get the venue down on price is to go with a venue that doesn't nickle and dime you for each station at the cocktail hour. Also, you can cut alcohol to beer and wine if you are will to do so. Definetely no Vienesse. You will save about $10-$15 head going with a Sunday afternoon.

What style of a place are you looking for? Do you want to have the ceremony on site?

JessicaLinick · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_reception-venue-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:e7c0d749-2781-4f03-86ff-58e49b355cc6Post:7796db3f-e0a9-434f-b28f-4f443704ed9a">Re: Reception Venue Help</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reception Venue Help : I really think you can do it for $100pp if you book WAY in advance and do a Sunday or Friday night on a regular (not holiday/three day) weekend. The best ways to get the venue down on price is to go with a venue that doesn't nickle and dime you for each station at the cocktail hour. Also, you can cut alcohol to beer and wine if you are will to do so. Definetely no Vienesse. You will save about $10-$15 head going with a Sunday afternoon. What style of a place are you looking for? Do you want to have the ceremony on site?
Posted by Lolyalyssa[/QUOTE]

We are definitely planning on a Sunday wedding. We are not sure if we will have the ceremony on-site or at a nearby synogogue. Once we pick the reception venue we're going to do a cost analysis of temple v. on-site and see which is cheaper (I'm thinking on-site from what I have heard, but we will find out). The style we like is simple (hence why I don't like the ornate carpets :-p), modern, clean lines, neutral colors...I want to pick my colors, not have them dictated by the colors already there.

rachaelb16 · March 2010

I really do hope you appreciate all that your parents are giving you and that what you wrote came accross the wrong way.

In response to your question: Most places have ugly carpets because it hides the stains and the places that don't have these carpets are probably out of your price range. I understand, I also hate the carpets, but that is what's out there and it has to be dealt with.

The Fiesta in Woodridge has a variety of affordable packages: Friday and Sunday 57.60-91.00
Saturday: 68.50-102.00
Yes the decor leaves alot to be desired, but decor does not make a wedding. People leave remembering the good time they had, not the carpet. And if you love your FI you should be willing to marry him in a shack if that is all that can be afforded.

Lolyalyssa · March 2010

Modern is hard in NJ on a budget. Mostly what you get is either overly ornate/Italian etc... or very basic/boring ballroom style venue.

Check this place out: Harvest on the Hudson Restaurant (Hastings, NY)
http://www.harvest2000.com/

They ONLY do afternoon weddings. It has a view of the Hudson and I think you could do it in budget (not sure though). It's a super cozy feel.

Once you narrow your wedding venue list down google the name of the wedding venue and the word(s) photographs or pictures etc.. Then you will get pro-pictures that people or their photographers have posted online from their weddings and you can see what a venue looks like done up for an actual wedding.

Another great way to transform a venue cheaply (under $850) is to uplight a room. You bring in a lighting guy and he paints the room in whatever color you want. I absolutely love how this transforms a wedding. A lot of people on here have used this guy http://jblightingproduction.com/index.htm and he is super affordable and does an amazing job.

JessicaLinick · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_reception-venue-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:e7c0d749-2781-4f03-86ff-58e49b355cc6Post:312ef2ab-af14-4ddb-9175-6569599b92a4">Re: Reception Venue Help</a>:
[QUOTE]I really do hope you appreciate all that your parents are giving you and that what you wrote came accross the wrong way. In response to your question: Most places have ugly carpets because it hides the stains and the places that don't have these carpets are probably out of your price range. I understand, I also hate the carpets, but that is what's out there and it has to be dealt with. The Fiesta in Woodridge has a variety of affordable packages: Friday and Sunday 57.60-91.00 Saturday: 68.50-102.00 Yes the decor leaves alot to be desired, but decor does not make a wedding. People leave remembering the good time they had, not the carpet. And if you love your FI you should be willing to marry him in a shack if that is all that can be afforded.
Posted by rachaelb16[/QUOTE]

Oh, I realize I'm totally crazy when it comes to the carpet thing, as well as that there is probably no way around a carpet at this point. However, I'm sure you agree that there are some that are much worse than others!!! Plus, sometimes they put matching curtains, etc on the walls and I think it can be too overwhelming. But...it is what it is.

I do appreciate everything my parents are doing...I always have and I always will. Not sure if you read the whole thread or not, but I did admit to not necessarily wording things correctly.

And yes, I would be willing to marry my FI in a shack if that was all we could afford. Part of me is ready to just run off to the courthouse with him and 2 witnesses and just moving past all the wedding planning. But we all know how hard it is to want something for so long and not get it. I'm sure everyone here is trying/did try to do everything they could to get the weddings of their dreams, and that is what I am trying to do here. Find a venue we can afford that will give me the wedding I've always wanted...is there anything wrong with that?

Lolyalyssa · March 2010

You could really transform the Empire Club in Little Ferry with lighting. It's a blank slate. It's got a neutral interior and it was renovated recently so its pretty updated. And its close enough to NYC that your guests from out of town could stay there.

Stay away from Fiesta. That's the worst of the worst in terms of bad carpet stereotypical wedding hall place. That's where you go when your budget is $50 per person not $100.

jaimelody · March 2010

you mean you don't like the starry ceiling at fiesta?

kewltif · March 2010

OK- I didn't read 100% of the drama here, but anything negative I would have said was already stated.

Moving on... How about taking your parents to venue hunt with you? Perhaps when they see what you can get for x budget, they will decide that they want to spend a little more.

With tax/tip I spent $115 p/p at The Villa at Mountain Lakes and that place is leagues nicer than some of the other places mentioned. I also negotiated a lot and had a winter wedding.

kewltif · March 2010

Also, maybe offer to kick in some of the extra money yourself? Let your parents spend the $100 a head they want. Say you find a place for $120 p/p (much more doable IMO for a summer wedding), if you kicked in the extra $20 p/p for your 120 guests, that's only $2400 and you'd have a year + to save up.

cascaste · March 2010

Certainly we all come to the table with different "needs" and circumstances. What I would suggest is create a list of "Must Haves" and "Nice to Haves" and see where you net out. And if your heart is set on a venue that may be more pricey, perhaps you can compromise on other aspects and look at DIY projects to help cut costs. An elegant and beautiful wedding doesnt have to break the bank....at the end of the day, it is you and your FI and regardless if you have 10 people or 100, summer or fall, $60/pp or $100 pp, the result is the same

Unfortunately I was a bit put off by the tone in some of your postes (Granted, tone can sometimes be perceived wrong), but neither one of my parents are alive today and hearing your whine about the amount of $ your parents are or are not contributing seemed a bit immature. As you will find on this board, and probably many others, most ladies today pay for all or most of their wedding, so when someone posts for the first time and appears to be throwing a temper tantrum, it may not come be received well. Obviously I dont know you or your family, but similar to your FI loosing his job, perhaps your parent's finances aren't the same today as when they made the promise to pay for it...and perhaps their definition of an elegant wedding is different than yours.

At the end of the day, I am sure it will all work out, but perhaps you should take a moment to be thankful for everything you HAVE instead of everything you dont HAVE

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