I let my girls pick the dress. it had to be the same color, and length. Everyone feels comfortable in what they are wearing. Same with shoes, they are all the same color but different styles.
I wouldn't worry about strapless as much as cleavage!
I plan on doing the same thing you are. Tell them a color, and a length, and make sure they don't wear anything with too much cleavage.
I don't care about straps or not, but the boobs must be well covered, and "I don't care how big chested you are, it's not impossible to find a dress to cover up your triple D's! You just have to look.
But primarily, I am doing this, so that everyone is not uniform, and so that, it is easier on my my bridesmaid's, and bridesmen's budgets
This has made me feel like Im controlling! Im having my bridesmaids dresses made by a dressmaker in my nearest town as all the 'off the peg' ones were over priced for poor quality. But the are all having the same design and colour. There was no discussion as to whether they would be having different lengths or styles - I just told them that was what they were having, but they didnt question it. Maybe we do weddings a bit differently in UK. We dont have rehersal dinners or bridal showers (I dont even know what that is!! Haha) I think you are very flexiable!! Every bride I know has told their bridesmaids what dress to have...they did go with them to try on/buy tho...so they didnt look hideous!!
Just tell them!! If they are your friends, they wont care, will just want to look nice and for you to have a great day
I think your guidelines are fine. You are letting them pick their dresses and giving them still a "wide option" of dresses. It is not bridezilla-ish at all. REMEMBER: This is YOUR wedding. And it's what you want. And if one of your bridesmaids has a problem with your requests, as it's YOUR day.
I told my girls that I will be picking the dress after we go out & try some on, and that they will be wearing the same dress (or same shape dress, possibly with different necklines) in different colors, in a fall palatte.
My "rules" are that the dresses will be tea length, full skirt, not strapless (able to accommodate a NORMAL bra) and taffeta... there are not many options for what I want, but the girls love the pics I am showing them.
It's not the amount of rules that make you a Bridezilla, it's how you say it and what you mean...I personally was very offended when the bride i was an MOH for tld me I specifically couldn't wear strapless because of the size of my breasts. Just because she was smaller and felt it would detract from her...that is a sure way for someone to not want to be in your wedding and it is also a great way to make someone feel uncomfortable. Bridezilla mentality is thinking only about yourself and not about your family and friends...remember that this is only one day and not your entire life, you are asking these people to be in your wedding because you want your neaerest and dearest there, not to make you look better...hopefully with you this isn't the case, and considering the fact that you are asking, it's probably not...Good Luck!
I don't think so at all. I have done the same thing for my bridesmaids. The only thing I asked of them was to pick from the same designer so that color matches perfectly. Funny thing is, they all ended picking the same dress.
You could have set the rules on everything, and you have that right with in reason.
You're the bride and your BMS should be able to honor your wishes for this ONE day. I don't think your "rules" are exaggerated by any means. It's the look that you want for your wedding party and no one should question that. I think the strapless option on dresses is fantastic too because they can wear the straps for photos and other times you may feel you'd like them wearing them...but once it's time to get down and dance, let them go strapless...after all THEY are the ones who will have to deal with any incidents. Good luck!
YOU ARE NOT A BRIDEZILLA!!!!!! how many women (trust me i have been these women) are forced to wear some ugly ass dress they will never wear again, a dress that is unsuited to their body style, by allowing your girls to pick a style is amazing! and the whole straps thing helps you to keep continuity among your party while still allowing each girl to be unique!
As far as what you have here, I think thats fine! I went to the store, and i said, this is my dress, what do you think would compliment it? Some girls were uncomfortable with cocktail length, so just make sure they are comfortable with that. But other than that, you have PLENTY of time. I have 129 days and I have NOTHING done, and I am sure it will all go as planned!
no wayy. you're fine. You should be the one picking the dress..its your wedding and you know how you invision it! Most brides do pick their bridesmaid dresses out..Ive been in a few weddings and have always had the dress picked out by the bride.. You should have them try it on and make sure it looks ok on everyone though.
Well think of it this way - most brides (myself included) pick out the dress FOR their bridesmaids so if that is socially acceptable, so should your idea be. And I like that idea - they can pick whichever style they like the best and you'll have variety in your party! Good thinking!
This is totally reasonable. I don't think having a few rules like this is Bridezilla at all!! I have a few BM who are top heavy as well so I understand..But nowadays the dresses all come with straps! Even the styles that are meant to be strapless, have the option of straps since it's very common. If anyone of your BM causes a stink, just tell them its a fall wedding, not spring or summer, so having straps & the length you have chosen are also appropriate to the season!
Bridezilla is just an ugly word created to put women in their place. I've been very easy about my whole wedding and I've still had one person call me a bridezilla. Don't worry so much about it. You can't please everyone and your requests are pretty flexible. Traditionally the bride picks out the BM's dresses and that's that. You're giving them options, that's pretty nice.
I don't think it's bridezillaish at all. The bride typically CHOOSES the dresses. You are actually being nice enough to let them pick their own gowns. It's not rules, it's guidelines. You do, afterall, have to consider what your pictures will look like.
The problem with letting them pick their own styles is that there is sometimes one of the bunch that won't be satisfied with ANY guidelines and will whine and try and get you to let HER pick whatever she wants making YOU feel like a bridezilla.
Let me repeat, the BRIDE typically CHOOSES ALL the dresses. You are being nice! If anyone complains, they are BMzillas
I don't think that makes you a Bridezilla at all! I did the exact same thing - only i went one step further and asked them to all go with the same designer so the colour would match. I just told them all what i'd like to see - knee or calf length or something that looked summery. Just be prepaired that by giving them "free reign" you might find that your idea of a nice dress and theirs is very differant - so as long as your open to suggestions or alternate ideas (i.e - my one BM wanted floor length - but found a dress that still matched the others in style and looked very summery) then you are not a bridezilla at all!
TTC Since Feb 2011 - HSG Aug 2012 opened 1 tube - Lap TBD
I don't think you are being a bridezilla at all. But to make everyones life easier i reccomned you and the girls find a day to go out shopping. I think it is better to buy the dresses at one shop cause even if you have a color sample it might not be the exact color available at one store. I would wait a little while too i also had a long engagement and my wedding is totally different then when i started. I have changed everything i originally thought of so don't rush on starting to plan. PLus you need to get your dress first before they get theirs cause you want the dresses to compliment you more than anything! Good Luck!
Maybe with the strapless part. A lot of dresses for bridemaids nowadays are strapless or have thin straps (trust me I know. My girls just went looking for dresses and all the ones they found were strapless or had thin straps). If the dresses they pick are strapless, see about possibly getting a bolero style jacket to go over it. As far as color and cut goes, that is your discretion....it is your wedding. But just remember what I said-because a lot of designers are going that route.
I actually have a total of 6 bridesmaids (including junior and MOH) and I gave them a fabric and color. I went to Davids' Bridal and selected 4 or 5 different dresses (1 halter, 2 strapless, 1 uniquely strapped and 1 other) and am letting them pick out what THEY want. This way I approve of the dresses already and it's whatever they feel comfortable in as long as it's from the selected dresses, is black and chiffon :-) it's easier that way since they all have different body types. Good luck!
I don't think that's too much at all! They are buying their own dress from wherever they want. You are basically giving them free reign and hopefully it doesn't come back to bite you in the end. You may want to ask that they show you the dress before they actually purchase it.
I think those rules are fine. You could also maybe show them a couple of dresses that fall into your "acceptable" category so that they have some options they know you will like and they have a good starting-point to begin their own searches.
I've never been a bride, but have been asked to be a bridesmaid several times. I resigned my post after a really awful bridezilla emerged. The number of rules you have does not make you a bridezilla. It's all about approach. As long as you are kind and are not continually asking for things that are unreasonable (i.e. changing the style of dress last minute and expecting them to pick up the cost) you should be fine. One major thought here--- If you are really concerned about coming off as a bridezilla, you probably aren't one.
Um...are we forgetting the days when a bride picked a dress, and regardless of price or bridesmaid preferences, they bought and wore it? It's your day, they should be willing to wear whatever you pick (obviously within reason, especially when cost is an issue)
Honestly I think that in the scheme of things what your bridesmaids are wearing wont matter at all, because on that day you are getting married to your man! Dont worry so much about what ppl are wearing and what things look like because your there to proclaim before God that you want to spend the rest of your life with the person beside you and that is really what you should be focusing on. Honestly I picked a dress for my bridesmaids and I regret it already because I would rather them all feel as comfortable as possible in what they are wearing. Luckily tho they did help me pick it and they all seem happy with the choice. I think if you just let them know your color and maybe just throw in that it is a conservitive church then it should all be fine. The point is not to stress over their outfits but just truely enjoy the time with your best friends who are willing to walk down that aisle with you no matter what they are wearing. Always treat them with respect and love because they are not just "bridesmaids" but your family and friends! This is way more important than a dress. Hope this helps you any!
I think your rules are fine especially since you are letting them pick the dress. So many brides just pick the dress and color without thinking about what will look good on their girls. I also think using strong language like "cannot" or even "must" is not bad if you are using a nice tone because this is your wedding and you know what you want and don't want. I am also getting married Sept. 2011 and I ran into the same problem but I was too nice about what I wanted and now I am stuck trying to reason one of my BM out her ideas to get back to what I want.
Re: How many "rules" make you a bridezilla?
I plan on doing the same thing you are. Tell them a color, and a length, and make sure they don't wear anything with too much cleavage.
I don't care about straps or not, but the boobs must be well covered, and "I don't care how big chested you are, it's not impossible to find a dress to cover up your triple D's! You just have to look.
But primarily, I am doing this, so that everyone is not uniform, and so that, it is easier on my my bridesmaid's, and bridesmen's budgets
Just tell them!! If they are your friends, they wont care, will just want to look nice and for you to have a great day
.... 249 Days till I become Mrs. Tom Addison!
My "rules" are that the dresses will be tea length, full skirt, not strapless (able to accommodate a NORMAL bra) and taffeta... there are not many options for what I want, but the girls love the pics I am showing them.
Something along the lines of this:
http://www.billlevkoff.com/#/9/bill-levkoff-bridesmaid-dresses/bridesmaid-dress-style-806/929/
This is totally reasonable. I don't think having a few rules like this is Bridezilla at all!! I have a few BM who are top heavy as well so I understand..But nowadays the dresses all come with straps! Even the styles that are meant to be strapless, have the option of straps since it's very common. If anyone of your BM causes a stink, just tell them its a fall wedding, not spring or summer, so having straps & the length you have chosen are also appropriate to the season!
The problem with letting them pick their own styles is that there is sometimes one of the bunch that won't be satisfied with ANY guidelines and will whine and try and get you to let HER pick whatever she wants making YOU feel like a bridezilla.
Let me repeat, the BRIDE typically CHOOSES ALL the dresses. You are being nice! If anyone complains, they are BMzillas
I just told them all what i'd like to see - knee or calf length or something that looked summery.
Just be prepaired that by giving them "free reign" you might find that your idea of a nice dress and theirs is very differant - so as long as your open to suggestions or alternate ideas (i.e - my one BM wanted floor length - but found a dress that still matched the others in style and looked very summery) then you are not a bridezilla at all!
The number of rules you have does not make you a bridezilla. It's all about approach. As long as you are kind and are not continually asking for things that are unreasonable (i.e. changing the style of dress last minute and expecting them to pick up the cost) you should be fine.
One major thought here--- If you are really concerned about coming off as a bridezilla, you probably aren't one.