Wedding Etiquette Forum

Unpopular Opinion Friday

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Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:3b5cab7e-c5f1-469b-b1fb-73074e79af62">Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm one of those people who judge rich people at first glance (or at least snobby people, I guess I can't really tell if they're rich or not) even though I have a relatively large trust fund. Posted by tlv204[/QUOTE]

    Me too, tlv, although it's not me that has a trust fund. I came from a working class family, but married into a very well-off one.  DH's parents are extremely generous with their money to their kids, and it sometimes makes me feel weird to be on the receiving end. And I am one of those who would not have been able to afford the wedding I had without their help. I feel like a bum sometimes. My (not yet in existence) children probably already have their college paid for.
    But they don't "act" rich, if that makes sense. They're the nicest people ever.

    I really do think bridesmaids should do more than buy a dress and smile pretty for pictures, and I somewhat judge one of my bridesmaids who ditched my shower, bachelorette party, and most of the wedding reception. 

    I also like Twilight.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:5f8927c5-f2be-4d75-a148-c0e13f85115e">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : Wow, you must live in Texas. That's the way we feel here. I'm not an overly conservative thinker, but this does bother me.
    Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

    My parents live in Arizona now and, after 60 years of marriage, they've found the ONE issue they simply cannot discuss:  illegal immigration.  My mom thinks along your lines, my dad knows that, if he were in their position, he'd do the exact same thing, so he can't condemn. 
  • I love to read, and I love thought provoking, difficult reads that really make you think.  But the vast majority of the books I read are NOT of that variety.  I even read some young adult literature--a lot of which I think is better than a lot of the crap written for adults.  I don't think you need to stretch your brain every time you read, or read all the classics for you to be a "reader." 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:a757f4d7-c8d5-430a-883a-bd723630d1e8">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE] I'm not going to fork over a crap load of money for a friend's birthday party then let the friend plan a party that no one but her would enjoy and that I find classless and tacky, so why would a wedding be any different?
    Posted by tlv204[/QUOTE]

    Frankly, if my kid got married, even if I didn't give them one dime towards it I would try to steer them away from being classless and tacky. Anything else is fair game in terms of their decisions, though.

    And while we're at it, I think giving adult kids money for their wedding is pointless. I'd rather pay for their college education and give them a lump sum as a wedding gift to put towards a house or something.
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  • It's a popular opinion that money is wasted on really nice invitations.  I disagree.  That's one of the few places I won't skimp.  Invitations are often the only representation your invitee will have on your wedding.  I want to give off a good first impression.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:067d31fd-ac21-4f17-804e-90ed6e0a098f">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : I disagree. I'm of the opinion that you only get one day and I didn't hear about another family/friend/aquaintance wedding within six months of ours. I mean sure, be grumpy about it for like... a day, but don't b!tch and whine about it, that makes you sound petulant and only serves to make you feel worse than you would if you shrugged it off and went "oh well, I know mine will be awesome anywys...", and if you're still at the stage in life where you have tempur tantrums, you're not ready to be in a committed relationship.
    Posted by alixzafiris[/QUOTE]

    Alix, I agree. If you're going to be a brat about it and stomp your feet and whine and cry, I absolutely think you just need to get over it because what's done is done. The people who come here complaining about that happening are pretty much plsit down the middle of "is it okay to be upset?" and "RAH RAH MY DAY MY DAY MY DAY!"

    I disagree when the first 16 responses to someone saying "Is it okay if I'm annoyed about this?" are "No! You can't be annoyed! You only get one day! Get over it!"

    Yes! Yes you can be annoyed! Because that is an obnoxious thing to do in some cases!

    Can you whine, complain, force them to move their date, punch someone in the face? No. But if someone is looking for validation for their completely acceptable "why is my sister such a fuucknut sometimes?" feelings, I don't mind giving it to them.

    A reasonable person is totally right to be a little hurt/upset/bothered by it. An unreasonable person pitching a fit is different. But even the reasonable ones get the whole "no, you're a terrible person if you're upset" thing. Which I don't agree with.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:3ef185c4-af84-460d-ab08-0518e8337fc6">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]I love to read, and I love thought provoking, difficult reads that really make you think.  But the vast majority of the books I read are NOT of that variety.  I even read some young adult literature--a lot of which I think is better than a lot of the crap written for adults.  I don't think you need to stretch your brain every time you read, or read all the classics for you to be a "reader." 
    Posted by JK10910[/QUOTE]

    I agree with that statement.  I don't always read to "further" myself.  I read for entertainment.  And if that means I read a teen soap opera type book.  So be it!
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:a757f4d7-c8d5-430a-883a-bd723630d1e8">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : Just because this ISN'T FFF and we are therefore allowed to argue with each other, I want to comment on this one. I completely agree with you that the parents shouldn't necessarily make all of the decisions. However, I also don't think that a bride should take ten grand from her parents just to have a DW and not even invite the family. I guess to me it really depends on how the money is given. If the parents say "here is money, spend it how you see fit," then clearly the bride and groom get to plan.  If the parents are really and truly traditionally hosting the wedding, and it is, after all, their money, why the eff shouldn't they get a say in how it is spent? I'm not going to fork over a crap load of money for a friend's birthday party then let the friend plan a party that no one but her would enjoy and that I find classless and tacky, so why would a wedding be any different?
    Posted by tlv204[/QUOTE]


    I agree with this.   I do not think parents should disregard the couple wishes, but if they are truly the hosts of the wedding, then yes they get a huge say in planning.  Let's fact is  the host of the bridal shower, e-party or b-party would get to plan those parties, right?






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I like watching the biggest loser and I like that it is inspiring people to change their lives, but I think its pretty stupid and ridiculous that the contestants need someone funding their weight loss in order to buck up the motivation to DO it. I especially look down on the contestants who say they have been watching the biggest loser for x amount of years. I know its harsh but get up off your ass and do something for yourself, by yourself, and dont expect everyone else to fix it for you.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:3d584847-aab7-45f7-b3cf-7b8f0b64e653">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think there should be some kind of mandatory birth control for all girls from the time they start menstruating until they are adults (18).  And/or boys if they could figure that out.
    Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

    FYI - They actually do have a male birth control pill on the market...just in case anyone is interested. :)
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  • True enough TJ :)

    So... Moose... If I were to drop in comments here and there along the lines of...

    You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English Knights...

    You'll scoff at me? *sniff sniff*
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  • I think bridal portrait sessions before your wedding day or after your wedding day are super weird.

    I think the same way about doing a photo shoot all dressed up after your wedding. Call it what you want RTD, TTD, I don't get it. Unless it's for a magazine, article, etc.

    I don't mind dollar dances and find them particularly enjoyable.




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  • tlv204tlv204 member
    2500 Comments
    edited January 2010
    This is kind of in relation to the FB status post above, but I tend to view the world in "survival of the fittest" terms a lot of the time. NOT NOT NOT in the case of Haiti, before anyone rips me a new asshole, that's not what I mean, that post just made me think of it.

    Specifically, I'm thinking about the way we help many people with issues in school. Sometimes learning disabilities, or behavioral problems, or just low IQs, etc. I 1000% agree that intervention programs need to be put in place (if they aren't already) to make sure they get the most that they can out of public education before the age of 18, but I think there needs to be a much bigger focus on how these students can survive in the real world. They won't get "extra time on tests" if they work in an office. They won't get fewer multiple choice options in adulthood if they want to be a police officer.

    I'm all for making sure that all students succeed to the best of their ability and receive the best education they can possibly get, but we also need to help prepare them for adulthood instead of focusing 99% of our energy (as a country, school, generation, etc.) on making sure they pass state exams.

    I am a teacher, and yes I obviously understand the need for accountability and statewide assessment to keep everything equal, but we are not helping anyone by telling students with learning disabilities that they are no different than anyone else. They are certainly not any worse than other students, but they are different, and need to be aware of that to prepare themselves if they are going to survive. Everyone is different, and I guess I just don't like that there is such a huge focus on equality that no one gets to enjoy their quirks and strengths as much.

    Sorry, that was a novel and possibly not even unpopular. Oh well, I got it off my chest.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:7bb2d776-80fc-4dd3-b104-fb3a836d6d4d">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : I agree with that statement.  I don't always read to "further" myself.  I read for entertainment.  And if that means I read a teen soap opera type book.  So be it!
    Posted by SnShne322[/QUOTE]

    I read harlequins.  There.  I said it :P

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:caa144bb-ec04-45f5-8468-9dffe1e8a783">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's a popular opinion that money is wasted on really nice invitations.  I disagree.  That's one of the few places I won't skimp.  Invitations are often the only representation your invitee will have on your wedding.  I want to give off a good first impression.
    Posted by bbyckes[/QUOTE]

    I didn't spend a lot on invitations, and they were really nice. But I did make them myself. I saved a bunch by doing this. PIB.

    I got tons of complimentson them. And after the gads of invitations we got this summer from friends, I can honestly say that ours were among the nicest.

  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:7a5f7b55-9a8a-4eaa-abf2-6430cd093e22">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]
    And while we're at it, I think giving adult kids money for their wedding is pointless. I'd rather pay for their college education and give them a lump sum as a wedding gift to put towards a house or something.
    Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

    I got all of that plus a wedding... yep I'm spoiled.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I agree wholeheartedly with TR, and especially Nebb, re: birth control and showing you can raise a child.
  • Nebb, a friend of mine was on the biggest loser and ever since she and I talked about how the show was run and some of the things they do, I can't watch it. I think it's misleading.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:281e3c42-4e25-465b-b357-227af27ba8aa">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think bridal portrait sessions before your wedding day or after your wedding day are super weird. I think the same way about doing a photo shoot all dressed up after your wedding. Call it what you want RTD, TTD, I don't get it. Unless it's for a magazine, article, etc. I don't mind dollar dances and find them particularly enjoyable.
    Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

    I never knew that this wasn't an everyone-does-it sort of thing until I came here. Where I'm from, it's somewhat tacky if you don't. People expect bridal portraits, and most photographers include the session in your package.

    I do think that TTD is kind of silly.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:8e135bf1-1af8-4d7c-a245-e695e270c68d">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]True enough TJ :) So... Moose... If I were to drop in comments here and there along the lines of... You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English Knights... You'll scoff at me? *sniff sniff*
    Posted by alixzafiris[/QUOTE]

    Heh, that's not just a movie quote though.  That's Python.  That's like throwing in quotes from Shakespeare!

    As opposed to quotes from a harlequin...

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
  • Oh yeah, I was annoyed that my cousin got married a month before me. It was oot for my entire family, I was completely broke because all our money was tied up in wedding expenses, and I ended up having to share a hotel room with my mother and brother. If you knew my family you would completely understand why that situation made me want to throw myself on the floor and have a little cry.

    I also don't think all a BM should do is show up and wear the dress. That's closer to a guests responsibilities than a member of the WP.


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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:3ef185c4-af84-460d-ab08-0518e8337fc6">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]I love to read, and I love thought provoking, difficult reads that really make you think.  But the vast majority of the books I read are NOT of that variety.  I even read some young adult literature--a lot of which I think is better than a lot of the crap written for adults.  I don't think you need to stretch your brain every time you read, or read all the classics for you to be a "reader." 
    Posted by JK10910[/QUOTE]

    Amen.

    I get so pissed at people who scoff at me for loving some YA books and then I get the raised-in-disbelief eyebrow when I name Wilde as my favourite author. I want to smack them and say "Yes, I love classics, lots of my favourite books are classics; that doesn't mean I can't slum it, give my brain a break and read a YA book which are generally recognized in the literary community as being genre that is overall surprisingly well-written and thought-provoking. What do YOU read? US Weekly? Huh..."
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:e3b7a617-61ce-4048-85b3-7d5a5cdf935a">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]This is more of a confession, but sometimes I sit back while reading posts and try to figure out which marriages will last and which will end based on my limited knowledge. I'm not naming names, so don't even ask, because that is just too mean even for me, but it's become an interesting hobby.
    Posted by tlv204[/QUOTE]

    I used to to this too. But sweartogod, my first marriage was one that everyone thought was awesome and used as a model for their own marriages and it failed. So I gave up on that game...it's damn near impossible to tell what's really going on in someone's relationship.

  • And while we're at it, I think giving adult kids money for their wedding is pointless. I'd rather pay for their college education and give them a lump sum as a wedding gift to put towards a house or something.

    I also got all of that, plus a wedding. I guess I think if your parents can afford it and want to help you in that way, more power to you. However, if my parents weren't able to help me with those things, I would make sure I could do it myself before I jumped in to any of those things.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:ac30c69f-fe61-4ed9-84cc-5e664f7b2f7a">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : Heh, that's not just a movie quote though.  That's Python.  That's like throwing in quotes from Shakespeare! As opposed to quotes from a harlequin...
    Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

    Well thank god for that <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:a2326f29-3ac2-4f0f-9cda-8740979303bd">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]Nebb, a friend of mine was on the biggest loser and ever since she and I talked about how the show was run and some of the things they do, I can't watch it. I think it's misleading.
    Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]
    Ive heard a lot of things about how misleading it is and the things the contestants do to pull big numbers at weigh ins. Thats not healthy, theyre promoting becoming healthy in a completely unhealthy way. I think it also skews peoples expectations on how much weight they can lose when they try it on their own, which will discourage them and make their progress harder. Normal people should not lose 15-20lbs in a week.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:a2326f29-3ac2-4f0f-9cda-8740979303bd">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]Nebb, a friend of mine was on the biggest loser and ever since she and I talked about how the show was run and some of the things they do, I can't watch it. I think it's misleading.
    Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

    Spill it!
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  • Oh, since they were mentioned:  I think TTD are self-indulgent and spoiled and obnoxious. 

    I'd like to hear more about the Biggest Loser. 
  • I think that some things are so unbelievably tacky that they can become amazing... like the other day I was looking through one of those wedding catalogs and found bride and groom toilet paper with little bride and groom stick figures and hearts all over it. It's so awful, but I think it's hilarious that people would go into the bathroom and be confronted with wiping their ass with the bride and groom...I'm ordering some just for kicks and giggles

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  • I guess my opinion re: illegal immigrants is unpopular. I feel that if your country is so corrupt or dangerous that you risk coming to the US under a freaking truck and make $4/hour in cash under the table, with no insurence, no unemployment benefits, no legal way to drive, nor car insurence, barely speak the language, and still manage to send money back home to those who are still stuck in your home country... well frankly, you're a better person than I am and I feel really bad for your situation.
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