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Not Engaged Yet
VENT! Why can't you just keep a secret?? *kinda long, sorry!*
Ok, I have to get this out there because it is really frustrating me and then hopefully I will feel better.
So this past weekend I went to visit BF and there's a ring I like at the store we go to every time I'm in town. BUT I've been trying really hard since my intro post not to think about weddings or talk about it, especially to him, because I want him to do it in his own time, and I'm insanely busy finishing up the semester. We went to the store, walked around, and I was perfectly content to leave without looking at the ring, but he insisted.
So we get to the jewelry counter, and I look around confusedly, because the ring is usually always in same case, same section. The ring is gone, which immediately upset me because: 1) This ring isn't on their website and I never took a picture of it, and 2) I wanted to walk out of the store without even looking!
We have been looking at rings for over a year now... probably have looked at/tried on close to a hundred, and this ring was absolutely perfect in my eyes. Of course, the little voice in the back of my head keeps whispering "Maybe he already bought it for you!!" Possibly... but I have gone to great lengths to keep my mind off this lately, and I don't want to think about it now!!
So I came home Monday, didn't think about it, went back to work and volunteering and getting through the last 3 weeks of the semester. This already hasn't been the best week. I went to my great-grandmother's funeral on Tuesday, and then Wednesday I was leaving my house to walk to the gym when I sprained my ankle and face-planted on the sidewalk, 10 feet from the front door, resulting in horrendous looking skinned knees and a hugely swollen ankle. Awesome.
I was doing great, until yesterday evening. My parents got home from work (I'm living with them while I finish grad school, which initially seemed like a wonderful idea but has become a nightmare... whole other story) and my dad says he needs to talk to me about me and BF. Immediate thought: what did I do now?!
We sit down to talk and he hands me his phone... BF texted him to ask if he can meet for lunch on Friday (tomorrow). WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME THAT?!! YES it is super exciting but if BF wanted me to know he would have told me!!!!!! And I kept telling myself that until he asked my dad he wouldn't ask me (he's very big on tradition) and now that I know he is very likely going to ask him TOMORROW, then I'm going to have to start fighting the battle of NOT thinking about it all over again.
Sorry it is so long/whiny, but I had to tell someone or my head was going to explode. I would tell someone IRL but then that would only perpetuate the wedding talk that I am trying to avoid... This is stressful and I don't like it
Any feedback would be much appreciated!
So this past weekend I went to visit BF and there's a ring I like at the store we go to every time I'm in town. BUT I've been trying really hard since my intro post not to think about weddings or talk about it, especially to him, because I want him to do it in his own time, and I'm insanely busy finishing up the semester. We went to the store, walked around, and I was perfectly content to leave without looking at the ring, but he insisted.
So we get to the jewelry counter, and I look around confusedly, because the ring is usually always in same case, same section. The ring is gone, which immediately upset me because: 1) This ring isn't on their website and I never took a picture of it, and 2) I wanted to walk out of the store without even looking!
We have been looking at rings for over a year now... probably have looked at/tried on close to a hundred, and this ring was absolutely perfect in my eyes. Of course, the little voice in the back of my head keeps whispering "Maybe he already bought it for you!!" Possibly... but I have gone to great lengths to keep my mind off this lately, and I don't want to think about it now!!
So I came home Monday, didn't think about it, went back to work and volunteering and getting through the last 3 weeks of the semester. This already hasn't been the best week. I went to my great-grandmother's funeral on Tuesday, and then Wednesday I was leaving my house to walk to the gym when I sprained my ankle and face-planted on the sidewalk, 10 feet from the front door, resulting in horrendous looking skinned knees and a hugely swollen ankle. Awesome.
I was doing great, until yesterday evening. My parents got home from work (I'm living with them while I finish grad school, which initially seemed like a wonderful idea but has become a nightmare... whole other story) and my dad says he needs to talk to me about me and BF. Immediate thought: what did I do now?!
We sit down to talk and he hands me his phone... BF texted him to ask if he can meet for lunch on Friday (tomorrow). WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME THAT?!! YES it is super exciting but if BF wanted me to know he would have told me!!!!!! And I kept telling myself that until he asked my dad he wouldn't ask me (he's very big on tradition) and now that I know he is very likely going to ask him TOMORROW, then I'm going to have to start fighting the battle of NOT thinking about it all over again.
Sorry it is so long/whiny, but I had to tell someone or my head was going to explode. I would tell someone IRL but then that would only perpetuate the wedding talk that I am trying to avoid... This is stressful and I don't like it
Any feedback would be much appreciated!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: VENT! Why can't you just keep a secret?? *kinda long, sorry!*
ETA: But in Dad's defense, BF could've told him it was hush-hush.
I have mixed feelings about this, because it's pretty much been decided we will get married, it'll be in the next year or so, the only thing i know...is that he won't even think about asking until after he graduates...which is next saturday...and I HATE surprises...so i definitely agree with the trying not to think about it......
Yep...still agree with wrkn925,,,,lol.
Maybe BF needs car advice? That's what I assumed when FI went to see my dad at his "mancave". I was so clueless.
Try not to freak out. You pretty much know it's coming, try to ignore it and just focus on your relationship as it is right now. This may be the last few weeks of dating-dom so ENJOY IT!
bourgehm- I burst out laughing in my office and got weird looks from my co-workers. Thanks for the laugh
I would be pissed at my dad. And I would tell him so. As it is mine will give it away anyway if I see him between him being asked and me being asked because he will cry. My FBIL knew well enough to make sure my sister wasn't around and asked my dad IMMEDIATELY before whisking her off to propose, and sure enough dad cried.
Try your best to take it off your mind and distract yourself. It still may not happen for a bit, and either way you can't possibly know how he will do it or what he will say, so it will still be an awesome surprise
[QUOTE]Maybe he's meeting with your dad to discuss the new wooden pony they are building you together.
Posted by bourgehm[/QUOTE]
That's what it really is.
I won't know when BF talks to Dad. They call each other all the time, so it would be nothing out of the ordinary.
and the best part is my dad still thinks that he did it the right way and FI was trying to be a mysterious and that it's just weird that FI would want to have any kind of romantic proposal, because then it's all about how FI wants to look good to everyone else. *sigh* generational gap, much??
oh well, we're engaged and that's what matters, haha!
[QUOTE]Irish- My BF is the same way, won't ask til after graduation... which is now 3 weeks away. Eeep! Also, I love that your SO knows how important your grandfather is to you and respects him enough to ask him first. bourgehm- I burst out laughing in my office and got weird looks from my co-workers. Thanks for the laugh :)
Posted by kristan1022[/QUOTE]
:) Yeah, I'm pretty lucky that he gets how important my grandfather is to me...He actually is the only person in the world that will give my SO competition in me dropping everything for him...SO usually wins, but my grandfather...well, you understand :)
[QUOTE]Sounds to me like your dad and your BF are conspiring to throw you off. They're not getting together to talk...they're getting together to build you a pony. With strippers. In Vegas. I'm on to them.
Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]
HAHA! My project manager just gave me the weirdest look because i LITERALLY LOLed!! :) Can they build me a pony too? That will magically teleport me to vegas?? :) I'm sure it is much warmer there than here in MI :)
[QUOTE]I know MY dad, and he would tell me as well. When my brother in law was trying to ask my dad for permission, dad refused to answer his phone...i thought it was because he didn't want to give permission, <strong>turns out, he hadn't gotten to talk to my sister yet. He wanted to ask her if he should say yes or no. lol Parents can be weird</strong>.
Posted by AbigailMS[/QUOTE]
So true! Last night after I got mad at my dad for telling me, he said that he will probably tell him yes, even though my mom was quick to point out that in the end it is still my decision... I've been with him for 3.5 years, I think I would have ended it by now if i didn't think he was it! Oh the generation gap...
[QUOTE]Ugh. I'd punch my dad. ETA: But in Dad's defense, BF could've told him it was hush-hush.
Posted by Wrkn925[/QUOTE]
Hahaha!!! I totally snorted from laughing at this! :)
THat is frustrating! 1-- I also don't understand why BF's can't keep secrets. It's like they want to drop hints to put your mind at ease that it's "on it's way"... but sometimes they're not so subtle, and we're left doing all the work to act like we don't know anything.. Why did he have to drag you over to show you that the ring was gone? ugh.. I'd punch him for that alone, and doubly if he IS the one who bought it, and he was just trying to get your mind going on it. :P You should tell him this.. but not till after a ring is securely on your finger.
And as for your dad.. yeah, BF could have spelled it out for him, but I honestly think guys don't understand what it means to keep a surprise. Hopefully his sharing means he's excited for you/approving. :)
Good luck not thinking about it.. but at the same time, since guys are horrible at surprises.. I'd say just try to enjoy it all as it comes, because it does make for a funny story, and it's all part of the package.
Definitely let us know how it pans out! :D
You will look back on this and laugh that your dad did this.