Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
Wedding Etiquette Forum
grooms man = date standing up???
A while back i asked my brother to stand up as a groomsmen he was happy to say yes, most recently i gave him the info on the tux rentals when i did his wife started to ask if she was standing up as well, this is not something i planed i have known her for three years but never really became close to her, the two of them confrounted me on this saying she should stand oppitise of her husband because they are one and should be seen that way, i told them how i felt about it. she replyed even if i was going to let her stand up at this point she didnt want to do it because now it is about pity for her and my brother has decided to bail out completly. is it just me or is it just rude to invite your self to stand up because your married to a groomesmen?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: grooms man = date standing up???
Glenna Harding Photography
ttc chart
BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12
[QUOTE]A while back i asked my brother to stand up as a groomsmen he was happy to say yes, most recently i gave him the info on the tux rentals when i did his wife started to ask if she was standing up as well, this is not something i planed i have known her for three years but never really became close to her, the two of them confrounted me on this saying she should stand oppitise of her husband because they are one and should be seen that way, i told them how i felt about it. she replyed even if i was going to let her stand up at this point she didnt want to do it because now it is about pity for her and my brother has decided to bail out completly. is it just me or is it just rude to invite your self to stand up because your married to a groomesmen?
Posted by Richelle79[/QUOTE]
My first question, which is totally irrelevant, is why you got to pick one of your FI's groomsmen. That should have been his choice. Anyway.
Your SIL is out of line. You don't insist on being in someone's BP, even if you are married to someone else in the BP. That's pretty ridiculous.
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
Is it possible she really thinks this is standard? Maybe a middle man (your mom if they get along?) could explain that this is not the case.
[QUOTE]we have decided to let them go, the thing is when it come to the ring barers and flower girl, their kids are who i had in mind i have already made the flower girl dress, but they ae the type that would not allow them to be involved because they are mad at us.
Posted by Richelle79[/QUOTE]
See, now this would just make me more determined to not have them in my wedding. I wouldn't put up with that petty bullsh*t.
ttc chart
BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12
[QUOTE] my fi and brother are more of brothers than ME and MY brother are so he picked him but he was shy about it so he had asked me to ask him
Posted by Richelle79[/QUOTE]
Oh, well I get that then.
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
[QUOTE]thank you every one for your support, i don't see a way to fix this other than to let it go my fi has told me he is so put off he wants to cancel and just have a private wedding, any thoughts?
Posted by Richelle79[/QUOTE]
Well, don't let your brother ruin your wedding plans. He's only one person. If you still want your families to see you get married and be with you that day, your brother being immature shouldn't change your plans.
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
FI & I are close with one of my BFFs and her FI. I am in theur wedding in January. FI is not. No biggie.
Sorry your brother's wife apparently keeps his balls in a jar on the mantle.
Sorry your brother bailed. They are wrong, just try not to let it bother you. Good luck!
[QUOTE]thank you every one for your support, i don't see a way to fix this other than to let it go my fi has told me he is so put off he wants to cancel and just have a private wedding, any thoughts?
Posted by Richelle79[/QUOTE]
Don't change your whole ceremony/wedding just because 2 people are being ridiculous. Have the wedding that you want to have and just repeat what everyone else said above, that the 2 of them are crazy, and not to let it bother you. Hopefully they will come around and realize the error of their ways.
That's seriously weird. Way weirder than people who think they HAVE to put their SIL or Fi's sisters in their wedding party when they really just want their friends.
40/112
Do his parents know about this? I'm only asking because if my mom knew my brother was acting like such a douchenozzle, she'd probably have a come to Jesus talk with him. Not that you should have your parents fix the problem. I'm just wondering what their thoughts on this whole thing is.
40/112
Have you talked to your brother about it without her around? You should ask your him to lunch - just him- and talk to him about it and how your feelings are hurt that he backed out. Simply state that you already have your bridesmaids picked out and you feel bad about not having her in the wedding but that doesn't mean that he should back out. He's your brother and he should be in your wedding. Hopefully he'll have a change of heart and see that his woman is being B*tchy and it's his sisters day, not his womans.
ps...you should explain to him that people are in other people's weddings all the time and it doesn't guarantee that their date, wife, fiance has to be in the wedding! That's just ridiculous. My FI was just in a wedding 3 months ago and is in another 1 in 3 weeks. It's not hurting my feelings seeing him walk down the aisle with another woman. It's just walking and it's for 20 seconds!!
Do his parents know about this? I'm only asking because if my mom knew my brother was acting like such a douchenozzle, she'd probably have a come to Jesus talk with him. Not that you should have your parents fix the problem. I'm just wondering what their thoughts on this whole thing is.
our mother has been absent for 18+ years, i talk to her and she is heart broken but my brother has exiled her, my dad/ his step dad is a watcher he will take the side line
when i told my brother i wanted my mother there he told me NO ONE from his family will be attending then so i have already made that compramise for him. his wife frist had the belive since she was ordaned she was going to marry us, but i don't belive that is approprate and told her this long ago.
when it come to him talking to Jesus he says he pratices native american traditions , so it is alittle different that what i would do when i get off track in life.
also to
Wow, that's really rude of her. And it's rude of him to back out!
Have you talked to your brother about it without her around? You should ask your him to lunch - just him- and talk to him about it and how your feelings are hurt that he backed out. Simply state that you already have your bridesmaids picked out and you feel bad about not having her in the wedding but that doesn't mean that he should back out. He's your brother and he should be in your wedding. Hopefully he'll have a change of heart and see that his woman is being B*tchy and it's his sisters day, not his womans.
he is so stuburn if i were to take him to lunch and bring it up he woul walk out on the lunch. i dont know where the change in him happened but Pirata13 your mostly likely right she has some how gotten his balls in a jar on the mantle.
[QUOTE]If your brother bailed on being in the wedding party, I think you should invite your mother to the wedding. ;)
Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]
I agree. He sounds like he's being a brat. It's your wedding and if you want your mom there, you should invite her.
planning