Did you spend the night together?

vlizz · October 2010

I don't know if we will or not. We don't live together, and have never spent the night together. We probably wont end up spending the night together. But who knows things could change.

spratt3 · October 2010

No, because of tradition and because I think it will be really nice to have one last night together with my nuclear family (mom, dad, sibs) before a new family member is added! I had always assumed that we'd do this; I'd never really thought about spending the night together.
I also want to have a private breakfast the morning of the wedding with my mom, dad, and siblings.

COmeetsNE · October 2010

We will be sleeping separate. We have lived together for almost two years and I'd love to sleep next to him because I sleep best, but we figured it would make our actual wedding night more special since we'll have been apart the night before. We are also waiting to see each other until the ceremony so he can get the full effect

zippityb · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_did-spend-night-together?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1816e117-2153-4ca6-bddc-11d4f429b98bPost:cbea17e4-68d4-44e0-b042-a71acd2d81ed">Re: Did you spend the night together?</a>:
[QUOTE]Nope. Traditionaly, the night before the wedding is a time for the RD and then the bride spends some <strong>very special time</strong> with MOB, or MOB+FOB. My FI was busy with his parents arriving in the early afternoon, hanging out, then coming over to my town for the RD, then going back and going to bed, and making sure they had everything in the morning so they could drive to their home directly from the wedding reception because we were leaving on our HM.
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

Does this involve test tube shooters?

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_did-spend-night-together?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1816e117-2153-4ca6-bddc-11d4f429b98bPost:8979cb09-02f7-4fdd-b437-90b41cd6eea7">Re: Did you spend the night together?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Did you spend the night together? : That is a bit naive to me, I guess because I've seen my share of peni and there were more than a couple who literally would not be a good fit. With something like Marriage which I intend for life, sexual satisfaction is pretty important.
Posted by Belle2Be[/QUOTE]

Agreed. I have a friend who got married very, very young, basically so she could have sex without breaking her religion's rules. She and her husband were not sexually compatible at all.

Budnotes · October 2010

We didn't spend the night before together. We saw each other up until about midnight after the rehearsal ceremony & dinner. I went home and he stayed in the hotel. We didn't see each other again until I walked down the aisle to him. Call us old fashioned!

prideeinpynk · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_did-spend-night-together?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1816e117-2153-4ca6-bddc-11d4f429b98bPost:17c4aaea-6644-4845-a16f-6799cf35aea7">Re: Did you spend the night together?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yup, sure did. We checked into the hotel on Thursday afternoon, and stayed in our room together Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. I got up earlier than he did on Saturday to start getting ready, and once I left the bedroom of the suite, we didn't see each other until our first look with the photog. <strong>It would have been a ton of trouble to try to sleep elsewhere, and we didn't really have the time in the schedule to add more complicated crap into it.</strong>
Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]

This is exactly how it went for us as well.

Up until the night before the wedding we were planning on staying in separate rooms, but after dinner that night we just decided it didn't matter. I did make him get up early and leave when my hair/makeup girl showed up, however. We didn't see each other until the first look after that.

Couple that with the fact that my DH had a beard at our wedding - I think my marriage is doomed.

ETA: Oh, and we've lived together for almost 5 years.

mrsjustinm2b · October 2010

We wont be spending the night together. He is staying over at his parents with the immediate family and the guys if they want to stay after the RD for a sleep over lol...and I will be enjoying the solitude of myself, my dog, our apartment and Pride and Prejudice. Everyone female in my family felt that I should for whatever reason want them there for a slumber party (my personal idea of hell) so rather than allow the can of worms to open I ditched them all! (insert manical laughter here)

mrstfuture · November 2010

We aren't spending the night together. He said that its up to me and since I'm more into the whole tradition thing, decided not to.

dieselsmomma · November 2010

We did. I definintely wanted to get a good nights rest and I don't sleep with well without DH. I was lucky too, DH pampered me in the morning! I always said my wedding day would rock if it started with an amazing bubble bath, so when DH woke me up he had a bath all ready and he actually ran out and got coffee and doughnuts for all the girls too.

I'm glad we stayed together, I'll never forgot our morning chit chat and how big the smile on his face was.

M&R7111 · November 2010

I plan to stay home - and I know he doesn't want to go anywhere.
I'm probably going to be anxious about the next day and would feel really out of place and even more anxious if I wasn't home and in my own space.

I plan to sleep in late and just spend the morning relaxing at home - but I have a feeling that won't happen.

damaless · November 2010

We had two hotel rooms - one for me and the bridesmaids, one for him and the groomsmen. So we didn't spend it together but we were one room over and hung out together until it was bedtime. Mostly it was for logistics, so that we all had rooms to get ready in the morning. If we had wanted to spend it together it would have involved getting a third hotel room, because it's not like we could expect the bridesmaids and groomsmen to all share a room together or with us.

chicagogirl327 · November 2010

No, I'm going to stay with at my parents house with some bridesmaids. It's easy this way because we're all getting ready and having hair and makeup at my parents place. I'm going to have him stay at the hotel either with some buddies or his bro/Dad. We don't want to see each other at all the day of the wedding until I walk down the aisle. I guess we're traditional. :-)

msventur · November 2010

We aren't, we don't even live together, and we have been dating for 6 years. I live at home, while he has own place. I will move in with him, after we are married. I'm old school.

Dana&Elena · November 2010

Hi ladies
I agree with you all! My FI and are are completely non traditional.. my mom thinks we should spend the night apart, but HE will NOT have that. He has been pretty much NO part of planning the wedding, but when I mentioned spending the night apart, he flipped. (This is coming from a man who spent EVERY Friday night with his bromance guy friend for the first 8 months of our relationship). Now, we are always together, enjoying everything. To me, enjoying our rehearsal dinner and that night with friends will be awesome. Because our partnership is about US, I want to celebrate being with everyone together. I don't believe in the "one last night out" thing. That happened a long time ago! lol! I am really looking forward to falling asleep in my FI's arms knowing that "tomorrow' I will be his wife! Of course, in the morning, we will part ways and get ready. He will not see me before the ceremony, so there's SOME part of tradition I kept. ;-)
Good luck and congrats to all you happy and beautiful brides!!!

kyleloveslinds · November 2010

We actually just booked two separate hotel rooms the night before the wedding. Our wedding reception is at a resort so luckily there's a hotel attached! I booked a suite for me and my bridesmaids and he booked one for him and his groomsmen. I think it will be much more exciting to spend the night apart and then get to see him at the church for the ceremony!

kedorsett · November 2010

We won't be. I will be spending that night with my parents and my bridesmaids (best friends.) and he will be spending it with his family as well. It's just really important to us and our families. I imagine there will be alot of reminiscing and tears! Haha. (We have never lived together, so this is a big deal to our parents.)

ShadowAP · November 2010

We're planning to. I have no idea what "tradition" people are referencing when they say that they didn't - tradition is not for you and your FI to get separate hotel rooms for one night - if you lived together before the wedding, you already broke ridiculous Victorian-era tradition, so it doesn't make sense to me to go through a completely empty gesture.

We've lived together for a few years now, and both of us have trouble falling asleep when we're apart (we both travel for business, so we do spend a considerable amount of time apart), and what with the stress of wedding week, it would be insane for me to stay up all night a nervous wreck and not be able to sleep on top of that because he isn't there. We'll probably even show up at the church together the day of the ceremony - I just don't see the point in causing extra hassle for the sake of "tradition."

Caveat: I am the most contrary bride on the planet and pretty much no part of my wedding resembles any sort of "normal" or "traditional" wedding, so there you go.

missymr · November 2010

We live together and we are planning to spend the night together on our 'wedding eve" so to speak.

It just seems silly not to. He is going to go over to his best man's to get ready and won't see me in my dress until I walk down the aisle (we kiboshed the pre-ceremony photos mainly because I want to actually be wearing our wedding rings in our pictures!) but the night before, meh.

We may as well sleep in our own bed and be happy than spend it apart for no particular reason other than tradition.

mazinggrace · November 2010

We are staying the night together.

1. We are in a hotel, why pay double.

2. We already live together so to us staying the night together make sense.

3. My Fiancee is a deployed overseas for two months at a time then home for two months. I already spend so many nights away from him why spend another.

4. And what better way to spend my last night of singledom than with the man I plan to live with for the rest of my life.

I know some people say "What about that moment?" I say "Pish Posh". We have that moment every two months. To ensure we will have that "wedding moment" I have kept him in the dark about everything bridal. We will wake up together, eat then be on our way to do our wedding thing. He will have no clue what I am wearing or how I will be doing my hair. It is a fun game for us since I am so bad at keeping secrets but this has been fun. Best of luck making your decision.

Kappell&Cofer · November 2010

We arent just because I am getting a hotel room for me and my bridesmaids and he wants to hang out with his Dad. Im marrying a Marine who is stationed far away so he wants to hang out with his parents since he is hardly every home. Otherwise, we would probably spend the night together. Actually, he told me he wants to bring me breakfast the next morning plus we are seeing each other before the ceremony for pictures. It's just up to the couple and what they want

siestaw · November 2010

This is the first thread that compelled me to post since I have been on here

siestaw · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_did-spend-night-together?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1816e117-2153-4ca6-bddc-11d4f429b98bPost:a6a8f22e-855d-4fd0-808a-a5a346a861bf">Re: Did you spend the night together?</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I am the different one here. The first night FI and I will spend together will be the wedding night.
Posted by Ready2BMrsWade[/QUOTE]
This is best and most refreshing answer in this thread! Thank you for this post.<div>
</div><div>Sorry about the crazy responses you got, you aren't crazy in your decision.</div>

kk942716 · November 2010

We're getting married next weekend, and we weren't going to spend the night together, even though we have lived together for the past 3 years. But we are paying for our own wedding, and it seemed pointless for him to spend extra money on a hotel, when we will both get a better night sleep in our own bed. But i plan on waking up early before he wakes up, and showering then leaving for my hair appt and i won't see him until the ceremony

prettithia · November 2010

We will not.

We are both Christians so that is a no no for us. Not sure where we'll be staying yet. That's not so critical now.

Besides, I don't want to see him for the whole day before (if possible) and the day of the wedding until I'm walking down the aisle.

mikeyspiker10 · November 2010

We're planning on staying together the night before. We've got an entire B&B rented out for the weekend, so why re-arrange sleeping quarters for the first night? We will probably be separate for most of the morning with preparations and everything going on before the wedding ceremony.

Joie80 · November 2010

We've been living together for most of two years we've been together, but we won't be spending the night together on the night before. I'm sleeping at my mom's and he'll be in his bro's hotel room.

BewitchedBeckatha · November 2010

Ok, this is my 2nd wedding, so I have 2 answers. 1st time, we didn't. I stayed in our house with our daughter (she was 14 mos old) and all my girlfriends. He stayed at his mom's house (1 block away) with all his guys. We didn't see each other until the church.

2nd Wedding is so totally nontraditional and it makes no sense to not see each other. In addition, the wedding isn't until 4 pm, so it would be ridiculous for us to stay away from each other when we could get so much done together!

I say, whatever works best for you!

gpautazzo · November 2010

We plan on spending the night together. We've been together for 5 and a half years, and have been living together for 3 years. We agreeded that we will not be able to have a good night sleep if we're not together. Plus, we're untraditional.

mica178 · November 2010

We didn't. We didn't live together before we were married, we weren't going to break that the night before the wedding. Logistically, I spent the whole morning and afternoon of the wedding day with my BMs in my suite getting hair and make-up done, and H slept in and got into his suit in the afternoon and had drinks with the GMs. I can't imagine what we would have done if we were in the same room.

Did you spend the night together?

Re: Did you spend the night together?

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