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Pre-wedding party that includes guests not invited to wedding?

ironwmnmkironwmnmk
in Pre-wedding Parties
My son (24) is getting married this year out-of state and then moving across the country. Several of his closest hometown friends are invited to the wedding, but realistically some would be unable to attend due to financial constraints. He has many more friends he has not invited due to this financial and logistical issue.
I consulted some of his groomsmen and it was agreed that my son would better appreciate a "Jack & Jill" party format held for them since many of his closest friends are female. 
I am willing to finance such a party to be held at a restaurant here in his hometown, and thought it would be great to invite as many of his friends as possible for one last get together before he moves. However, it came to my attention it is not "proper etiquette" to invite people not invited to the wedding.
What are some opinions about this quandary? If a wedding is planned for a site that is a far distance for the majority of friends/family to be able to attend, is it okay or tacky to extend an invite to a pre-wedding party.  Invites have not yet gone out, so inout will be greatly appreciated.
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Re: Pre-wedding party that includes guests not invited to wedding?

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I still think it's tacky to invite people to a pre wedding party if they're not welcome at the main event. If he wants the friends at the wedding, IMO he should just invite them and see if they can make it. It's not up to your son to decide what his friends can and can't do.
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I'm with Banana - it is tacky and rude.

    This is part of what happens when you choose to get married far away from the gang.

    There is nothing wrong with an (absolutely) no-wedding related cookout or something along that line.  That is a setting where he can be with his buds one more time before the wedding.  The Jack and Jill will have guests buying gifts when said guests aren't being invited to the wedding.

    Sorry - I'd step back from this one.
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  • niecie_jeffniecie_jeff member
    500 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    It is tacky like PP stated. I would just throw him a going way party so he can spend time with his frineds one last time. Just call it anything wedding related
    AnniversaryBabyFruit Ticker
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  • hlq2011hlq2011
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If a guest is invited to the wedding but can't make it because of distance, it's okay to invite them to a pre-wedding party.  If they aren't invited at all, it's a no-no.

    If you want to invite non-wedding guests, make it a generic party, not wedding-related.
    image
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  • shopgrl3177shopgrl3177
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_pre-wedding-party-includes-guest-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:e0fc2642-a811-48ed-829d-cfcc06092364Post:cf74be5a-3e3e-483a-a22b-932a5f49e6ef">Re: Pre-wedding party that includes guests not invited to wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Since he'll be moving, I would call it a going-away party.
    Posted by djhar[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this
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