How to not include children?

Alphanie24 · December 2010

In response to vb0000:

My FI has a ton of younger cousins (ages 4-12). We have decided that the cut off age for children is 13 because he has three teenage neices. We are paying for the entire wedding ourselves and can't afford all of his little cousins or my cousins' children so we are having an Adult Reception also. We have put this on the inivitation and the RSVP. I don't think that it's tacky to have it on the inivitation. I do like the ideas that have been posted on here, especially the ones about writing the person's name on the RSVP card.

I ran into an issue earlier this year when I went dress shopping with my MOH and BMs. One of my BMs who somewhat recently had a child looked like I had killed her cat when I told them we weren't inviting children to our wedding. I still haven't figured out how to deal with this situation yet. I figure I still have four months to go but I don't know what I'm going to do.

trix1223 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_not-include-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:6029ee44-d430-4951-add4-b48dd5fd555fPost:59006c2a-f68a-4cca-bd9e-9d7f64ae7bd0">Re: How to not include children?</a>:
[QUOTE]In response to vb0000: My FI has a ton of younger cousins (ages 4-12). We have decided that the cut off age for children is 13 because he has three teenage neices. We are paying for the entire wedding ourselves and can't afford all of his little cousins or my cousins' children so we are having an Adult Reception also. We have put this on the inivitation and the RSVP. I don't think that it's tacky to have it on the inivitation. I do like the ideas that have been posted on here, especially the ones about writing the person's name on the RSVP card. I ran into an issue earlier this year when I went dress shopping with my MOH and BMs. <strong>One of my BMs who somewhat recently had a child looked like I had killed her cat when I told them we weren't inviting children to our wedding.</strong> I still haven't figured out how to deal with this situation yet. I figure I still have four months to go but I don't know what I'm going to do.
Posted by Alphanie24[/QUOTE]

If your BM has an infant, that's generally considered the exception to the rule. Particularly if she's breastfeeding. You can push this issue, but you may find yourself with
A) one less BM
or
B) One very, very unhappy BM

mceachinnWed37744 · December 2010

Anyone offended by the phrase "adults only" is too sensitive. I find it interesting that anyone would say that using this phrase is 100% wrong. It's no different than saying we have reserved two seats in your honor. In this case you are telling your guests that they can only bring two people. If telling guests that adults only are invited is wrong, then telling them that they can only bring two guests is wrong as well. Either way you tell them what they cannot bring; no children or no more than two people. I see no difference. Also, comparing etiquette rules found in books to history found in books is just silly.....

I am choosing to tell my guests that I have reserved two seats in their honor. I am also including on the RSVP card at the bottom that professional child care will be provided on site. My fiance and I have decided to hire baby sitters and set up a game/video room for the kids. We are ordering pizza and hot dogs for them as well. I guarantee you that any kid would prefer to play video games or watch a kids movie with other kids over getting dressed up and going to a wedding reception.

banana468 · December 2010

Just because others do not know appropriate decorum is not reason to ignore it. Yes, you may have to clarify to others that their child isn't welcome but it's better than starting off my assuming that people don't know better.

aerinpegadrak · December 2010

Banana, it might be worth closing this thread. OP got her answer long ago and it's just become a mish-mash of misinformation and bad advice. I know a couple of other boards have had to close threads that got included in that email to finally get them to die after they'd long ceased to be productive.

Your call, of course, just making the suggestion.

How to not include children?

Re: How to not include children?

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