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Wedding Etiquette Forum
Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?
"cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
WWYD? Post-WR, long
So I got married almost 3 months ago, and my florist screwed my flowers over badly. Some of the things were more subjective (changed my color scheme, didn't use agreed-upon types of flowers, fugly centerpieces). But the major fuckups were the missing but paid for anniversary bouquet (which we didn't realize was missing until we went to present it, empty-handed, to H's grandparents at the reception), and mixing up the corsage/boutoneirres for the sets of parents. H's bio parents violently hate each other and each other's new spouses, so they were supposed to be matched to their spouses and not each other, but that didn't happen.
Anyway, I called the florist the day after the wedding to ask what happened and negotiate a partial refund, and she went BSC on me for 40 minutes, telling me "I'm not God," "Mother Nature controls colors, not me," "there's no such thing as a purple flower," "I'm still a good person," and "I'm known for my professionalism and making brides happy." She refused to take responsibility or refund anything except the anniversary bouquet and messed up boutonierre. So the refund is small but still needs to be delivered.
She disappeared after our conversation, and after 1 month I called and emailed her asking on the status of my refund. She kept emailing back, saying "I'm putting it in the mail tomorrow, I've suddenly been having health issues." Still nothing. So on Dec. 11 I emailed again, and she responds, "Your refund will be going out tomorrow. The bad news is cancer the good news is they got it all. I am noted for taking action right away but a major health issue that had to be addressed and [sic] took a lot of time away from my work."
A few concerns: I feel like she's blowing me off and I have been itching to write a thorough review of her services since the wedding, but am waiting for her check to arrive and clear. She currently has no reviews online and I just don't want any further delay in getting my check should she see something that would clearly be written by me. I am also delaying sending off my venue review (which is otherwise positive), because she is one of their "preferred vendors" which is how I got hooked up with her. And finally, I feel completely douchey for even thinking this but how do I know she has cancer? And more importantly, why do I know if that's truly her situation? I feel like she is using my sympathies to avoid paying me or to keep me from taking other action to get payment. And I also feel bad for wanting to write a bad review now, because much of it would be based on her terrible interpersonal methods of dealing with customer dissatisfaction.
CN: Florist fuckedup majorly, keeps lying about sending my parital refund for past 2 months, reportedly has cancer. I can't write reviews until this is settled and feel guilty taking other action or writing said reviews. What would you do?
Anyway, I called the florist the day after the wedding to ask what happened and negotiate a partial refund, and she went BSC on me for 40 minutes, telling me "I'm not God," "Mother Nature controls colors, not me," "there's no such thing as a purple flower," "I'm still a good person," and "I'm known for my professionalism and making brides happy." She refused to take responsibility or refund anything except the anniversary bouquet and messed up boutonierre. So the refund is small but still needs to be delivered.
She disappeared after our conversation, and after 1 month I called and emailed her asking on the status of my refund. She kept emailing back, saying "I'm putting it in the mail tomorrow, I've suddenly been having health issues." Still nothing. So on Dec. 11 I emailed again, and she responds, "Your refund will be going out tomorrow. The bad news is cancer the good news is they got it all. I am noted for taking action right away but a major health issue that had to be addressed and [sic] took a lot of time away from my work."
A few concerns: I feel like she's blowing me off and I have been itching to write a thorough review of her services since the wedding, but am waiting for her check to arrive and clear. She currently has no reviews online and I just don't want any further delay in getting my check should she see something that would clearly be written by me. I am also delaying sending off my venue review (which is otherwise positive), because she is one of their "preferred vendors" which is how I got hooked up with her. And finally, I feel completely douchey for even thinking this but how do I know she has cancer? And more importantly, why do I know if that's truly her situation? I feel like she is using my sympathies to avoid paying me or to keep me from taking other action to get payment. And I also feel bad for wanting to write a bad review now, because much of it would be based on her terrible interpersonal methods of dealing with customer dissatisfaction.
CN: Florist fuckedup majorly, keeps lying about sending my parital refund for past 2 months, reportedly has cancer. I can't write reviews until this is settled and feel guilty taking other action or writing said reviews. What would you do?
Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?
"cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
This discussion has been closed.
Re: WWYD? Post-WR, long
What I would do depends on how much money the refund is, but I'm inclined to say just go ahead and write your reviews noting how many times you've had to contact her about the refund and how you still don't have it yet. If she has cancer or not, this should have been an easy thing for her to take care of or for someone that works with her to send out. I would also be inclined to post on the local board and see if anyone is using her services right now while she's been going through these medical problems to see what you find out.
I would wait for the check to clear, and then write your reviews honestly without regard to her illness. You're a rational person and you're not going to go BSC about it, so I'd just leave it at that.
two years!
after two losses, now happily expecting baby #1 09.16.12
Brie Fit Blog | BFP Chart
Her "cancer" had nothing to do with what happened on your wedding day. I wouldn't feel bad about writing reviews about that. As far as the delay in refunding goes, you could certainly mention it as well. I would be more sympathetic towards her if she hadn't have overreacted when you talked to her the day after the wedding.
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
[QUOTE]How important is it to you that you write the reviews? I guess that's the key here. Also, how much money is it? Is it worth it to you to keep pursuing it? What I would do depends on how much money the refund is, but I'm inclined to say just go ahead and write your reviews noting how many times you've had to contact her about the refund and how you still don't have it yet. If she has cancer or not, this should have been an easy thing for her to take care of or for someone that works with her to send out. I would also be inclined to post on the local board and see if anyone is using her services right now while she's been going through these medical problems to see what you find out.
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]
I'm not sure about the importance anymore of writing the reviews, since they've been on the back burner for so long. I've pretty much already written them, just haven't done anything with them. I think I'd regret it later if I didn't, because like I said right now she has no reviews, and people should have an idea of what to expect (potentially) if they hire her for their wedding. The money is less than $100, but to me that doesn't matter, it is the principle of it. This isn't stressing me out that much, I just hate to keep dragging it out.
That's a good idea about sending the reviews with updated info. I've also thought about posting on the local board, but was unsure about protocol... I get mixed messages on here, but correct me if I'm wrong: it is best to state objectively what happened, not your opinions (like she is BSC) right? I'm not looking to get banned over this.
Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?
"cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
If it's less than $100, I would just go ahead and do the reviews. If she sees them, so what. It's not like she's making much effort to get the money to you anyway. And if she sees them and decides not to give the money back, you can still go after her and even file a complaint with the BBB. Either way, you're in the right and she's in the wrong.
Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?
"cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
I'd let your venue know about the issue right away. As she's a "preferred vendor" they might have some sway with her to get the check to you ASAP.
Actually, given that there are purple flowers, if she was totally off on what she did provide, I wouldn't be satisfied with just $100.
Oh - and I don't think her cancer has any impact on this, as the screwup and initial failure to send the refund was BEFORE she was sick/being treated.
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
[QUOTE]So I got married almost 3 months ago, and my florist screwed my flowers over badly. Some of the things were more subjective (changed my color scheme, didn't use agreed-upon types of flowers, fugly centerpieces). But the major fuckups were the missing but paid for anniversary bouquet (which we didn't realize was missing until we went to present it, empty-handed, to H's grandparents at the reception), and mixing up the corsage/boutoneirres for the sets of parents.
Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]
I stopped here. That is beyond ridiculous. I would be calling her everyday or going to her place of business.
[QUOTE]I will take a 10% for my advice services. Please and thankyou.
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]
Dear MrsB,
I am sending your check out tomorrow. Probably. Or not.
Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?
"cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
I think she is and has been very unprofessional--and needs to know that. Your reviews of her will hopefully help other brides avoid possible downfalls.
I'd say go to small claims court, but with that little money she owes you, it might be more trouble than its worth.
40/112
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: WWYD? Post-WR, long : Dear MrsB, I am sending your check out tomorrow. Probably. Or not.
Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]
I will be happy to come to your place of residence to save you the frustration of having to place my check in the mail.
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
I feel like I could go one of two ways with this, like reading more about it, and vally's comment, I get all riled up about it again and feel I should demand more recompense. But the other way is what I've been trying to do: accept what happened, get refund, write helpful reviews, and move on. Not getting the check has sucked me back into the drama. I feel like I should go with the latter, but it's becoming more difficult the longer this drags out.
Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?
"cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
[QUOTE]I feel bad for her if she has cancer, but its still pretty unprofessional to detail her medical issues and use it as an excuse. If she had a valid excuse (cancer surgery) there are many more professional ways to deal with unhappy clients than "Oh! Wah! I have medical problems!" <strong>I'd say go to small claims court, but with that little money she owes you, it might be more trouble than its worth.</strong>
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]
Exactly, msmery. Which is why I was hoping to avoid this situation, but I don't know if that's realistic at this point.
Touche, mrsb. :) Also, thank you for essentially writing my next email to her.
Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?
"cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
[QUOTE]Didn't mean to get you all riled up... or did I?
Posted by vallyhoo[/QUOTE]
You're such a pot-stirrer. Quit stirring my pot! No, I was already good and riled, just had it on simmer for awhile. :)
Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?
"cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
my dad delegated his work immediately when he found out he'd need some time off. so there's nothing reason she can't do the same. Even if she is a one woman run operation, she must have a family member who could go get some cash out of the register and give it to you.
in this case, don't pull the cancer card just because you f-d up. There are a million better ways to go about this. and I'm a little biased because I love beatlesgirl, but I'd say you were most likely very diplomatic and wonderful in dealing with her, so I'd say stay the course, you're doing fine.
(my fee just went up to 15%)
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
MrsB, I regret to inform you that we will no longer be needing your services at this time. We are too broke to afford you.
Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?
"cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
I have zilch in the way of tolerance for unprofessional people. Especially when dealing with them in a business setting.
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
planning
I agree with pps about posting on your local in case anyone else might be considering using her. If I was considering using her services, I'd want to know what I could be in for.
And I would call your venue that recommended her to explain your experience with her. I wouldn't put it into their review because it is completely possible that this is the first time she screwed up and I don't think I would associate it with them. Unless your venue review was just going to say to avoid her.
Rain, our invoices state the flowers/colors that were to be used, and we had extensive conversations for how things would look and the ratio of different flowers, the notes of which were supposed to be on the invoice and sort of were. Stupid me, I totally bought her assertions that she could not promise the exact number of flowers ahead of time, but that she'd make it as close as possible and the colors would be the same. If she had stuck by that sentiment after the fuckups, I would feel doubtful of my being in the right, but she basically told me she gave me above and beyond what I asked for, which is totally untrue.
So in the case of the contract, it is written what kinds of flowers I was supposed to get (and was charged for), but she would not accept that she was wrong. Example: the centerpieces were supposed to include mostly cream Vendela roses, with a few tiny peach spray roses. I got 14 big, pink looking spray roses and 1 Vendela rose. But we didn't specify numbers, so I can't fight it and she refused to accept responsibility for messing it up. I think I'm just going to have to get the payment that we agreed upon and focus on that.
Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?
"cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
Oh, and we totally specified purple flowers. In fact, I got some purple flowers (like lisianthus) in the BM bouquets, which is why when she was later screaming there was no such thing I was like holy frick she's nuts.
Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?
"cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko