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Wedding Etiquette Forum
buffy03302010
member
Our Privacy vs. FB!
As the bride, I would like to ask my guests to not post pictures on line of my soon to be husband and I, on our wedding day. I don’t mind if pictures that they take of themselves and others are uploaded, but not of us (the bride and groom). Do we, as the couple have the right to ask our guests NOT plaster our images all over FB that they take of us on our personal and private day? And should our guests respect our wishes?
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Re: Our Privacy vs. FB!
May I ask WHY? Just because I'm curious. Most people want to see photos their guests took as soon as possible.
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
What exactly is your issue with your pictures being on FB?
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And I'm curious why too. The first photos I got to see of my wedding were on FB. It was one of the first things I looked at when I got home the next day.
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I wanna know why you're to be so private about this too...
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You can say something to people about it, but there's no way you can keep them from doing it. They're happy to be there, they're excited, and they're going to post pictures. You're going to be the one to post the pro pics when they come, and they'll be much better than the camera phone pics or unprofessional camera shots. Try to relax and decide not to let it bother you.
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I too am curious about why you don't want pictures on Facebook. If you are worried about privacy, get off Facebook.
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Is there a privacy setting you can change so that no one can tag you in pictures, if that's what you're worried about? Like others, I was excited to see people start putting photos up the next day, so I don't really understand the issue.
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[QUOTE]I think anna had a good solution - no more facebook = no more pictures of you on facebook.
Posted by andy71781[/QUOTE]
I had the exact same thought. When you sign up for FB, you sort of have to be okay with loosening your grip on total privacy and pictures being posted.
Books read in 2012: 21/50
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You can certainly ask your guests not to do it, but like PPs have said they'll forget, or you might have that one guest that, just to spite you (and this semi-crazy request), that will do it anyway. Set your privacy settings to block everyone from seeing photos of you/being able to tag you. Or, like Anna suggested get off the FaceSpace and you won't have to worry about it.
Otherwise, I agree with everyone else in that it's a weird request and I don't really understand why you care whether your pictures are on there or not.
i do find it an odd request....i too loved seeing pics from my wedding up on FB, and i was actually disappointeed that there werent more.
[QUOTE]Even if she doesn't have a FB profile, people can still post pictures of her on their own profile. I don't understand you guys who are saying just get off FB to solve the problem. It wouldn't solve the problem at all, people would still post their pictures. I have plenty of pictures of my H on my FB and he doesn't have a FB profile at all. Otherwise, I agree with everyone else in that it's a weird request and I don't really understand why you care whether your pictures are on there or not.
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]
Agreed. But Facebook does claim some limited rights to photos uploaded, which allow for them to use the photos. I don't think it's clear what they'd use photos for, or if they ever have, but I know some people who are adamant that photos of them not be uploaded on Facebook for that reason.
But there really isn't any way to guarantee that people won't post pictures.
[QUOTE]well, *technically* when you post a pic on FB, there is some disclaimer that asks somethign like "do you have permission to post tehse pictures". but, people post stuff all the time withotu permission. i do find it an odd request....i too loved seeing pics from my wedding up on FB, and i was actually disappointeed that there werent more.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]
That is about copyright protection. The guests own the pictures they took so they can post them.
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Married 9/15/11
*This is Not Legal Advice*
Thanks for all of the feedback. The reason that we were contemplating making that request is simple….our right to privacy. Idk, I guess we are just old school like that. That being said, I think the request is fairly reasonable. If I wanted my wedding day to be posted on line in a manner in which I have no control, I would film it and post it on You Tube. Question for you all; just because FB and other sites like it exist, does that mean that I no longer have a right to have a say as to what is posted about me online? Is privacy really on the road to extinction on account of FB and the www? Also, it’s rather presumptuous to assume that I have a FB page and if I did I wouldn’t post pics on line of anyone else unless I knew for certain they would be okay with it, just out of respect. Great comments! Gives me something to think about. Keep them coming.
[QUOTE]As the bride, I would like to ask my guests to not post pictures on line of my soon to be husband and I, on our wedding day. I don’t mind if pictures that they take of themselves and others are uploaded, but not of us (the bride and groom). Do we, as the couple have the right to ask our guests NOT plaster our images all over FB that they take of us on our personal and private day? And should our guests respect our wishes?
Posted by buffy03302010[/QUOTE]
You can untag yourself if you are tagged but other than that, no, there's not much you can do. Honestly, you would get the side-eye from some people if you even brought it up.
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
[QUOTE]Thanks for all of the feedback. The reason that we were contemplating making that request is simple….our right to privacy. Idk, I guess we are just old school like that. That being said, I think the request is fairly reasonable. If I wanted my wedding day to be posted on line in a manner in which I have no control, I would film it and post it on You Tube. Question for you all; just because FB and other sites like it exist, does that mean that I no longer have a right to have a say as to what is posted about me online? Is privacy really on the road to extinction on account of FB and the www? <strong>Also, it’s rather presumptuous to assume that I have a FB page</strong> and if I did I wouldn’t post pics on line of anyone else unless I knew for certain they would be okay with it, just out of respect. Great comments! Gives me something to think about. Keep them coming.
Posted by buffy03302010[/QUOTE]
In this day and age, no it's not. You brought up FB so naturally people are going to come to this conclusion.
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
[QUOTE]Question for you all; just because FB and other sites like it exist, does that mean that I no longer have a right to have a say as to what is posted about me online?
Posted by buffy03302010[/QUOTE]
I think that's a really good question. I do think you have the right to request that your guests not post pictures of you and the groom on Facebook. I just don't think you can enforce it if they choose not to respect your request other than to untag yourself or ask them to be removed once you see that they are there.
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
[QUOTE]Oh, one more thing I forgot to mention,we are not the type of people who would ever concern themselves with offending others with our request. <strong>As far as we are concerned, it's our day that we paid for. </strong>I'm sure there will be plenty of things that our guests will have an opion about, what's one more?
Posted by buffy03302010[/QUOTE]
But once you include other people, it's not just "yours" anymore. It's not necessarily rude to ask them not to post pics but it is a bit controlling and it *could* be taken the wrong way with some of your guests.
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
[QUOTE]Oh, one more thing I forgot to mention<strong>,we are not the type of people who would ever concern themselves with offending others</strong> with our request. As far as we are concerned, it's our day that we paid for. I'm sure there will be plenty of things that our guests will have an opion about, what's one more?
Posted by buffy03302010[/QUOTE]
<div>Wow. Well, good luck then. You've lost my sympathy.</div>
[QUOTE]Thanks for all of the feedback. The reason that we were contemplating making that request is simple….our right to privacy. Idk, I guess we are just old school like that. That being said, I think the request is fairly reasonable. If I wanted my wedding day to be posted on line in a manner in which I have no control, I would film it and post it on You Tube. Question for you all; just because FB and other sites like it exist, does that mean that I no longer have a right to have a say as to what is posted about me online? Is privacy really on the road to extinction on account of FB and the www? Also, it’s rather presumptuous to assume that I have a FB page and if I did I wouldn’t post pics on line of anyone else unless I knew for certain they would be okay with it, just out of respect. Great comments! Gives me something to think about. Keep them coming.
Posted by buffy03302010[/QUOTE]
Unfortunately the guests own any pictures they take. As long as they are not using them for commercial reasons (i.e advertising) you can't do anything. Plus, I would be really confused if you asked me not to post them on FB.
Planning Bio
Married 9/15/11
*This is Not Legal Advice*
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
[QUOTE]Oh, one more thing I forgot to mention,we are not the type of people who would ever concern themselves with offending others with our request. As far as we are concerned, it's our day that we paid for. I'm sure there will be plenty of things that our guests will have an opion about, what's one more?
Posted by buffy03302010[/QUOTE]
WOW, that is a really horrible attitude. Sorry, but I care about not offending my friends & family.
Planning Bio
Married 9/15/11
*This is Not Legal Advice*