Unpopular Opinion Friday

tlv204 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:07b705c5-cfc4-4afe-9010-52986b463cdf">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : I used to to this too. But sweartogod, my first marriage was one that everyone thought was awesome and used as a model for their own marriages and it failed. So I gave up on that game...it's damn near impossible to tell what's really going on in someone's relationship.
Posted by ac_in_dc[/QUOTE]

Oh I agree and by no means think I'm going to be right about who will split and who will stay together, it's just interesting to see. It kind of makes me want to do a study on relationship habits and their effect on divorce rates. I'm sure that's already been done, but I just think it's interesting how much a couple can fight and still be together at 90, or how normal they can seem and be divorced in a year and a half (which happened to H's cousin a few months ago. We were all shocked.).

JK10910 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:3543c61c-9f48-4b0f-8961-1fa4bb2188c7">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
[QUOTE]I hate 99% of reality tv. Its not reality when you find multiple people with the combined IQ of a door knob and put them on tv. Its just stupidity. Because of this I tend to think that most skinny, tall, pretty, blonde girls are complete airheads because thats the stereotype on tv.
Posted by lovethebeach16[/QUOTE]

So...what you're saying is you don't like reality tv because you're unable to think for yourself?

ac_in_dc · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:59bf41c4-cbcb-4810-a1bd-d92b58bf5904">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : good point. At the rate the donations are pouring in, it was surpass Haitis GNP.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

Well, yeah, haiti was totally fucked before this. But now they are unbelievably out-of-control getting their ass kicked like never before fucked.

Disporportionate initial public response to crises like these is normal though.They'll need is steady help over the long term as much as they need some food & water & medical care to get them through the next couple of weeks. Hopefully folks are donating to aid orgs that will ration the donations appropriately over the long term to help rebuild whatever shitty institutions were there before the quake, 'cause they were better than nothing.

JessAndTrav · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:7a5f7b55-9a8a-4eaa-abf2-6430cd093e22">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : Frankly, if my kid got married, even if I didn't give them one dime towards it I would try to steer them away from being classless and tacky. Anything else is fair game in terms of their decisions, though. And while we're at it, I think giving adult kids money for their wedding is pointless. I'd rather pay for their college education and give them a lump sum as a wedding gift to put towards a house or something.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

My education took little out of my family's pocket because I qualified for grants. My grandfather helped me with what wasn't covered with the grants as well as my living expenses. He was happy to help pay for the wedding as well, but he can afford it.

When it's time for my kids to get married, if we can afford it, I will probably give them a choice. Money for the wedding, or money for a house. I think it should be up to the couple.

Money for a house would have been nice, I guess, but to be honest, DH and I aren't ready for a house yet. While rent can be a waste of money when that money could be going into a house, we just aren't ready for the responsibility of owning a home.

pinkpinot · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:e535b45f-a46c-4fa5-b145-722ebe9124fe">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess my opinion re: illegal immigrants is unpopular. I feel that if your country is so corrupt or dangerous that you risk coming to the US under a freaking truck and make $4/hour in cash under the table, with no insurence, no unemployment benefits, no legal way to drive, nor car insurence, barely speak the language, and still manage to send money back home to those who are still stuck in your home country... well frankly, you're a better person than I am and I feel really bad for your situation.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

The people in Haiti, unfortunately have no near by place to escape their poverty and make an attempt at a life for themselves. It's sad. My family came over here from Ireland, FI's family lived in German displacement camp for 6 years before they could get to America.

bbyckes · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:5f8927c5-f2be-4d75-a148-c0e13f85115e">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : Wow, you must live in Texas. That's the way we feel here. I'm not an overly conservative thinker, but this does bother me.
Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

This opinion isn't limited to Texas. When I lived in California, I thought the same way... until I moved to a part of the country that doesn't have a high concentration of illegal immigrants. I miss the diversity and the cultural additions they can make in a society. I agree that illegal immigration seriously needs to be curbed, but only because it breeds resentment, which could lead to discrimination and violence.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · January 2010

I don't think everyone, or even a majority of people, should go to college. I also don't think a lot of people should be homeowners. Yet our society encourages both of these things.

beatlesgirl25 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:e535b45f-a46c-4fa5-b145-722ebe9124fe">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess my opinion re: illegal immigrants is unpopular. I feel that if your country is so corrupt or dangerous that you risk coming to the US under a freaking truck and make $4/hour in cash under the table, with no insurence, no unemployment benefits, no legal way to drive, nor car insurence, barely speak the language, and still manage to send money back home to those who are still stuck in your home country... well frankly, you're a better person than I am and I feel really bad for your situation.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

Msmery, I was just going to post along the same lines. My unpopular opinion is that I wonder if people who are against illegal immigrants have known people who have gotten deported or had family deported. I also wonder if they know how difficult the process currently is in gaining citizenship in the U.S. I'm not saying that if you have known someone, you should support illegal immigration, but just wondering.

pinkpinot · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:53e78b8e-fd2b-4c4c-a137-515a0f67b2aa">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think everyone, or even a majority of people, should go to college. I also don't think a lot of people should be homeowners. Yet our society encourages both of these things.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

I'm curious why you think this?

lyndausvi · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:48a7df78-2eac-4fbc-88c7-7fef4d0ef756">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : Well, yeah, haiti was totally fucked before this. But now they are unbelievably out-of-control getting their ass kicked like never before fucked. Disporportionate initial public response to crises like these is normal though.They'll need is steady help over the long term as much as they need some food & water & medical care to get them through the next couple of weeks. Hopefully folks are donating to aid orgs that will ration the donations appropriately over the long term to help rebuild whatever shitty institutions were there before the quake, 'cause they were better than nothing.
Posted by ac_in_dc[/QUOTE]

I hope for that also ac.

bbyckes · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:53e78b8e-fd2b-4c4c-a137-515a0f67b2aa">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think everyone, or even a majority of people, should go to college. I also don't think a lot of people should be homeowners. Yet our society encourages both of these things.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

Amen, Ms. Mery. Home ownership is overrated.

JessAndTrav · January 2010

In regard to the illegal immigrants from Mexico, it's not just to escape their life there. A great deal of it is about drug and human trafficking. The level of violence they have brought to cities lying on the border is outrageous, and that's when I really have the problem.

I live near Houston, which is a hotspot for immigrants from Mexico, and it's just crazy how many there are.

When the economic status is healthy, or healthier, it's more of a vicious cycle. When there are jobs, nobody wants the landscaping job or the construction job, but there's a need, so the immigrants are happy to take them.

I just wish they could crack down on the ones bringing problems into our country. The other ones I don't mind as much. It's the ones with the unnecessary violence that irk me most.

That may not have made sense. I may have just contradicted myself. It's a rough subject.

JK10910 · January 2010

I agree that not everyone should go to college. College isn't for everyone. Obviously it's a personal choice, but I know a lot of people that are wasting time, money, and energy in college right now or did so in the past. But it's hard to get a "good" enough job to support our society's materialistic tendencies without a college degree, so most people think it's something they have to do.

mocha beans · January 2010

Another unpopular and unPC opinion, which I'm also conflicted about, I don't see a point in keeping someone alive that is profoundly mentally retarded or disabled. I work with people that need complete, 100%, 24/7 care. Wheelchair-bound, incontinent, need to be spoon fed pureed meals, need all basic cares done for them. They are not going to get better or more independent. Half have no family at all, and the other half have family that sees them once or twice a year. That isn't a life. They'll never contribute to society, even in a tiny miniscule way, except to provide a job for me, which is good but I'm sure the resources they use could be better spent elsewhere. I feel heartless thinking it, but I still do.

[Deleted User] · January 2010

Here's another one: If a baby starts to cry during my ceremony, I really don't think I'll care.

Nebb · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:53e78b8e-fd2b-4c4c-a137-515a0f67b2aa">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think everyone, or even a majority of people, should go to college. I also don't think a lot of people should be homeowners. Yet our society encourages both of these things.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]
It almost seems like some people view people as "invalid" if they dont go to school, have good educations, or own a home. Its the be all and end all of accomplishments, but I think everyone is ready for each thing at their own time in life and it shouldnt matter whether they do it early, do it late, or do it at all.

bbyckes · January 2010

Wedding Wire has a better wedding budget tool than The Knot. It's a pet peeve of mine.

beatlesgirl25 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:61ccdff6-4d9d-48a3-94fc-8fdfa078dcd7">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : So...what you're saying is you don't like reality tv because you're unable to think for yourself?
Posted by JK10910[/QUOTE]

Oh snap. Pretty, blonde (smart) girl has a good question (J&K, don't know if you're tall, sorry!).

pinkpinot · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:ca398e16-b2cd-4c73-9968-b710be03cb99">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
[QUOTE]Here's another one: If a baby starts to cry during my ceremony, I really don't think I'll care.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

You're inviting <em>kids</em> to the wedding???????

crfische · January 2010

This isn't really an opinion, well...I guess it is...but anyway:

It annoys the fuuck out of me when people get a BA or BS in just about anything and they think that makes them an expert. It may make you more educated in that area than people who aren't, but that does NOT make you an expert.

temerityjane · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:ca398e16-b2cd-4c73-9968-b710be03cb99">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
[QUOTE]Here's another one: If a baby starts to cry during my ceremony, I really don't think I'll care.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

I would care a lot and probably glare, but not because the baby RUINED MAH DAY. Baby crying goes RIGHT THROUGH ME. It makes claws grow out of my fingertips.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:c218358e-e688-4679-a5a4-20d5b546a2dd">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : I'm curious why you think this?
Posted by pinkpinot[/QUOTE]

Not all jobs are white collar jobs. It's becoming moreso in the US and we move our jobs to developing nations. Partially because our work force is highly educated and therefore don't want to do more industrial-type jobs, and partially because of the cost. But if we were serious about being more self-sufficient in the US (and most developed democracies), we would encourage people to play towards their strengths or desires rather than, "Oh, doctors and CEOs make a lot of money."

I've also heard several news stories lately which confirmed my suspicions - something like 60% of high school students in community colleges need remedial coursework, which is non-credit. Because they aren't getting the kind of education in high school that they need to prepare them for college. However, even if high schools didn't just shove kids through and gave them a quality foundation, I think my opinion would still stand.

I might be a hypocrate, because I definitely want my kids to go to college, but if they came to me with a really amazing back up plan, I'd be okay with it.

And houses: are just a boatload of money and work. I think if you're the type who likes to travel and doesn't like surprises re: repairs, renting can be a much better option. And honestly in many high COL areas you can get a better deal with renting.

JessAndTrav · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:470e37d0-c0de-40c3-abb0-729579b21ab4">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
[QUOTE]Another unpopular and unPC opinion, which I'm also conflicted about, I don't see a point in keeping someone alive that is profoundly mentally retarded or disabled. I work with people that need complete, 100%, 24/7 care. Wheelchair-bound, incontinent, need to be spoon fed pureed meals, need all basic cares done for them. They are not going to get better or more independent. Half have no family at all, and the other half have family that sees them once or twice a year. That isn't a life. They'll never contribute to society, even in a tiny miniscule way, except to provide a job for me, which is good but I'm sure the resources they use could be better spent elsewhere. I feel heartless thinking it, but I still do.
Posted by mocha beans[/QUOTE]

I completely agree that sometimes, euthanasia is a better choice.

When my grandmother was sick and dying, while I didn't want her to die, I wanted her to stop hurting. It was so frustrating because it took about 2 days for her body to completely shut down. So for two days, she must have been in agony, but she couldn't talk or see by that point, so she couldn't really convey to us that she was hurting.

aMrsin09 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:853d46d4-08a5-430b-b64c-b2d595b7b384">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
[QUOTE]II also wonder if they know how difficult the process currently is in gaining citizenship in the U.S. I'm not saying that if you have known someone, you should support illegal immigration, but just wondering.
Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

It's difficult for a reason. I have noting against immigration, heck I come from a family of immigrants heck I just immigrated myself, but we did it the legal way, so can everyone else. People talk about Americans wanting instant gratification all the time, well apparently so do the illegals. Wait in line like everyone else.

I suppose I wouldn't even be so opposed to it if the money the earned stayed in the states. I believe the figure I heard was in the billions. Imagin how much stronger our economy would be if that money earned in the statees had stayed in the states.

SarahPLiz · January 2010

I think that if you can't afford a wedding, then you shouldn't have one. Its a nice party, but does not make your marriage any more valid than signing the license at the courthouse. If you are still relying on your parents financially, then I think you have no business getting married.

mrsamyjones · January 2010

mocha beans I bet if you were in that situation you'd be of a different pursuation...and just because someone is mentally retarded doesnt mean they arent a human being and deserve all of the unalieable rights that you are so afforded

you really shouldnt be working with these people if you feel that way

JK10910 · January 2010

Not even close to tall Beatles. I guess that accounts for my smart. I shall forevermore be thankful I am short.

pinkpinot · January 2010

Interesting, thanks for explaining. I haven't finished my degree yet and lost my desire to since I am making more money now than I thought possible without it. I do feel like a loser though when I come TK and everyone is applying to or graduating from grad school or a PhD program.

I take night classes and just took a break this semester. I can't juggle my job, 1.5 hour commute twice a day and school.

JessAndTrav · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:f296e512-d3fe-4fdd-9b72-da75deda5aef">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
[QUOTE]mocha beans I bet if you were in that situation you'd be of a different pursuation...and just because someone is mentally retarded doesnt mean they arent a human being and deserve all of the unalieable rights that you are so afforded you really shouldnt be working with these people if you feel that way
Posted by mrsamyjones[/QUOTE]

Remember the Terri Schiavo case? This is why I agree with MB somewhat.

JK10910 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:f296e512-d3fe-4fdd-9b72-da75deda5aef">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
[QUOTE]mocha beans I bet if you were in that situation you'd be of a different pursuation...and just because someone is mentally retarded doesnt mean they arent a human being and deserve all of the unalieable rights that you are so afforded you really shouldnt be working with these people if you feel that way
Posted by mrsamyjones[/QUOTE]

If she was in that situation it's quite possible she wouldn't even know the difference. Just because she feels that a "life" like that isn't worth living doesn't make her any less caring and compassionate in her work with profoundly MR individuals. Granted, I have no idea how caring and compassionate she is in her work, but it takes a special kind of person to work such profoundly MR people, and I can see how seeing it day in and day out would make you feel the way she does.

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