I don't think it makes you a bridezilla. As long as you're nice about it. I'm doing something similar with my bridesmaids and I gave them "rules" too. I asked them to find a knee length, black cocktail type dress that they would wear again. And I asked that it have silver embellishments instead of gold if possible, which they were all fine with because they all prefer silver. Unless you know it would upset a lot of church people or if there would be a big problem with cleavage I wouldn't get too upset about the strapless. Just let them get whatever they feel the most comfortable in in your chosen color and length.
I don't think this makes you a bridezilla at all as long as you don't come across as one. Say something like "I was hoping you could all find dresses that are..." or "I would like you to all wear dresses that are..." That way you're expressing your preferences and aren't sounding like a dictator. : )
And I don't think it's hard at all to find dresses with straps. David's has quite a few and so do quite a few other ones. My BMs and I got all our dresses at the same boutique and they had a huge selection of BM dresses and most of them had straps.
I don't even think that asking for non-strapless is too much. Esp. if you are having a ceremony at a church. I have seen many wedding pictures of bridesmaids with strapless dresses and they are showing WAY too much. I think your bridesmaids should be very pleased that you are allowing them to choose their own designer and dress style. Many brides don't even allow that!
i picked out bridemaids dresses for my bridesmaids, i wanted them long and a specific colur. I told them they were the ones i wanted however if they didnt like them we could try again. Fortunatly they liked them. my girls have spaghetti straps and littel chamisole jackets to cover their shoulders, iv told tehm they have free reign on hair jwlerry and shoes but they said they wanted me to tell them what i wanted - i think BMs want direction to make sure they are donig it right - give strong suggestions and no i dont think those 'rules' are too much - maybe dont call them rules thou say id like you to have.... i paid for my BM dresses so i guess that gave me more control but i wasnt trying to control them they wanted me to make the decisions
NOT a Bridezilla AT ALL!!! You should see all the hideous matching bridesmaid dress photos out there. Many brides don't give their wedding party ANY choice in what they wear. Your bridesmaids should be gracious and consider themselves lucky. It's your day, you can have as many or as few "rules" as you want!
I don't think you're asking too much at all. You're giving them the freedom to choose a style in which they feel comfortable and attractive, as well as the opportunity to get something that fits into their budgets. I'm doing the same thing with my bridesmaids. I've told them to get black, tea length dresses and I've ordered fabric in the color I'm using for the rest of the wedding and we'll make underskirts and sashes out of that.
I'm doing the same for my bridesmaids - they are all thankful that they don't have to wear something they hate, and that they can get a dress that flatters their shapes.
I think that having pictures of everyone looking "identical" is not nearly as important as having pictures of your closest ladies looking comfortable and feeling beautiful.
Have you checked out Alfred Angelo? That's where I have my girls going. Most of their dresses either have straps, or have an option of adding spaghetti straps to what was once a strapless - my larger busted friends were really happy about the prospect of adding straps to things!
I don't think it's too much. I've been a BM about 7 times and a MOH twice. I totally understand the no strapless thing. As long as your color isn't too difficult to find in different styles then I don't think you have anything to worry about. Also, I agree with the other girl that length and color are a given.
I agree with the post earlier on that the BM generally like to have some specifics! I started out telling them the color I would like and that my fiance had requested that they be floor length dresses. Then I told them they could pick out whatever they liked. However, all of them are at school and it was super busy. I finally got to where I just sent them each some patterns I had found that I thought would look good on their figures, and they picked from those. (I made it really clear that they didn't have to go with those patterns, but they were some I thought might look nice on them.) I'm from a very conservative background, and so are my friends, so I don't think strapless even crossed their minds! We ended up having the dresses made, rather than buying ready made ones. My aunt is a wedding dress seamstress, so she is making three of the dresses, and another seamstress is making the other two. It all turned out low stress, which was just what I wanted.
I didn't read all the posts, so I'm sorry if I say something that has already been repeated a hundred times. I don't think you sound like a bridezilla at all! I would be thrilled if the only rules I were given was length and colour, and one small stipulation.
My girls (only have two) whom are both still in University and on tight budgets purchased the same dress (I chose it after trying on a bunch of dresses myself) at a store in the mall for a super good price. They were both thrilled, I would say that the girls will be happy to wear whatever you pick as long as you keep in mind that they have a budget!
No way! You are being very cool about dresses. I told my bridesmaids what color I wanted and that I had veto power. They ended up choosing the same dress anyway, and it was really inexpensive so everyone was happy. Later I made them buy shoes that I picked out. It's your day and they are going to be in all your big pictures so having a little control over what they look like is totally normal.
I think your requirements are fine - and as someone stated, David's Bridal (and I'm sure other stores) have optional straps to add to a lot of their strapless styles.
I am in my brother's wedding in May, and the bride sent us BM's a sheet with exactly the dress she wants us to buy, including specifications for getting straps added to it. It didn't seem bridezilla-ish because it was a reasonable request.
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I don't think you are being bridezilla-ish at all, even with the strapless thing. Especially since you said they are top heavy and it's a conservative church. I have a small bust and I was still pulling my bm dress all day (was just in a friends wedding) even after having it altered to "super duper tight" .
I dont think there are too many rules here. I am doing kind of the same thing. I have picked out a color (but i kept mine to the same bridal store) and my BMs get to choose from a variety of dresses in that color, but the store has on record which dresses are allowed for my party. I also am having a church wedding and didnt feel some of the dresses were entirely appropriate, so I just took a few dresses off the list. All of my bridesmaids thought that it was a good decision and were all okay with the limits I had set
I don't think that's asking too much at all. I plan on doing the same thing down the road. The only advice I have to give you is to maybe decide on one designer (like David's Bridal which is relatively affordable and offers many different styles of dresses). Even if the colors appear to match at different stores, they can be very off and make for odd looking pictures. I was a bridesmaid in my girlfriend's wedding last year and we all ordered from the same designer, but at different times, and the dresses were noticeably different hues when they came in. The store owner told us after that it was because the fabric was probably from different lots and dyed a little differently. Would have been nice to know that beforehand... Good luck!
NOT AT ALL!! Most brides just pick the dress without giving the BM ANY decision on the dress. I'm in my friends wedding and i just got an email saying get measured and call this bridal place to order your dress, heres what it looks like. As a BM you know that your dress is the bride's call that doesn't make you a bridezilla it makes you just a bride!!
oops... i thought i was on the Rhode Island board when I responded... the Bridal Garden might be too far for you ... but Davinci & Impressions have great BM gowns for coverage...
But also if you choosing the dress for your wedding would make you feel comfortable. She could decide on a price point that makes her happy and then you could ask her to start saving toward that point right now and decide on the dress later.
My rules bacame even more strict with my church's guidelines, but the first rules were the same as yours. I chose the color and a few styles from one designer. The dresses were more expensive than other designers so we asked the BMs to pay what the groomsman are paying and we are covering the rest (about half of the total cost).
About strapless, my finace and I think it is a tasteless trend, so they are a no for our wedding. If you don't like strapless for any reason, don't allow your BMs to wear them. Most women don't look as good in strapless as they think they do, and most women don't feel good in strapless and end up sticking their thumbs in their armpits all night trying to pull up the dress.
It's your day, choose what you like and do it with a smile on your face and no guilt in your heart. Good luck!
My name is Mellissa I live in NJ, and I should be getting married Aug. 6, 2011 and no I don't think its to many rules at all I picked out my BM dresses for them however I chose a dress the will flatter any woman it's ankle length and empire waist with a flowing skirt I'm just not sure which color to go with lol but I think giving them the choice is great!
This definitely does NOT make you a bridezilla. I think you are being generous by letting your girls choose a style of dress they want. Normally, all the girls have to wear the same dress, and it's one that's selected by the bride. You just have to take your girls' suggestions into consideration because (1) they are paying, and (2) these are people you care about!! You don't want to force them into some hideous dress that they will look awful in and that they will be uncomfortable in and annoyed about all day.
I think you are completely justified in asking them to adhere to your "rules". Also, almost any dress shop worth anything will be able to add spaghetti straps to a dress. The bridal store I went to told me that all strapless dresses they order come with spaghetti straps that they can just remove later! Since I am also "top heavy" I would definitely suggest that you go shopping with your BMs though... Halter dresses can emphasize a girl'd chest, especially if she has a small waist. I looked ridiculous in the halter dresses I tried on!
I don't think you're being bridezilla at all. I'm gettign married in Feb 2011 and my sister has done the exact same thing; if anything she's trying to controll more than I am lol.
I find that you are being fair you are letting them pick their own dresses with slight requirements afterall it is YOUR day.
Although I'm not to sure why you don't want strapless? I don't think that should be such a big deal.
You're not a bridezilla at all! I did the same thing. I told the girls to order a black tea or cocktail length dress and sent them some pictures of dresses that I liked so they had some direction to go on for style and fabric. You're girls will thank you for not forcing them to all pick one dress!
It's "your" day your rules. but do try to be nice and cherry. The ultimate decision is yours. As far as bridesmaid dresses I picked out a color in November...In december David's Bridal changed all there colors and a few of the dresses for the new year. So I had to change my color. Also Eva's disconnitued several dresses in December as well. It was a big headache. So if you do find a BM dress everyone needs to order theres within a 3-4 week span.
To be honest, you do sound a little like a bridezilla. If you are that concerened about what they wear then go with them to pick it out. I would be pissed if someone said to me go pick what you like but, these are the rules. My maid of honor picked the dress she liked and then i let the girls decide if they wanted the print or the sold in that style.
They are strapless with straps that they can attach if they feel more comfortable.
Not at all. The dresses need to match the style of the wedding you have in mind so if strapless doesn't work, it doesn't. I am doing the same thing for my BM and MOH and they think I have let them run amok. In reality, the tradition BMs and MOH get their dresses dictated to them, so the fact that there is any choice at all is pretty liberatiing no matter what you reasons are as the bride (money issues, comfort/body type).
No you are not limited them too much! You are right in the color and length and you are already being very giving by letting them pick out their own dress! I think it's right for you to expect a cohesive look for your wedding party :-)
No way is that to many rules! I don't have a bad attitude about anything to do with my wedding but my bridesmaids will not get to choose really anything...so you're certainly giving them more decision making power than I am!
Re: How many "rules" make you a bridezilla?
And I don't think it's hard at all to find dresses with straps. David's has quite a few and so do quite a few other ones. My BMs and I got all our dresses at the same boutique and they had a huge selection of BM dresses and most of them had straps.
i paid for my BM dresses so i guess that gave me more control but i wasnt trying to control them they wanted me to make the decisions
I think that having pictures of everyone looking "identical" is not nearly as important as having pictures of your closest ladies looking comfortable and feeling beautiful.
Have you checked out Alfred Angelo? That's where I have my girls going. Most of their dresses either have straps, or have an option of adding spaghetti straps to what was once a strapless - my larger busted friends were really happy about the prospect of adding straps to things!
Good luck!
I'm from a very conservative background, and so are my friends, so I don't think strapless even crossed their minds!
We ended up having the dresses made, rather than buying ready made ones. My aunt is a wedding dress seamstress, so she is making three of the dresses, and another seamstress is making the other two. It all turned out low stress, which was just what I wanted.
I don't think you sound like a bridezilla at all! I would be thrilled if the only rules I were given was length and colour, and one small stipulation.
My girls (only have two) whom are both still in University and on tight budgets purchased the same dress (I chose it after trying on a bunch of dresses myself) at a store in the mall for a super good price. They were both thrilled, I would say that the girls will be happy to wear whatever you pick as long as you keep in mind that they have a budget!
Happy planning! It's such a fun time!!
I am in my brother's wedding in May, and the bride sent us BM's a sheet with exactly the dress she wants us to buy, including specifications for getting straps added to it. It didn't seem bridezilla-ish because it was a reasonable request.
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Congrats to my TTCAL buddy lauren.cus her adorable daughter and buddy Fallon621 on her little boy!
About strapless, my finace and I think it is a tasteless trend, so they are a no for our wedding. If you don't like strapless for any reason, don't allow your BMs to wear them. Most women don't look as good in strapless as they think they do, and most women don't feel good in strapless and end up sticking their thumbs in their armpits all night trying to pull up the dress.
It's your day, choose what you like and do it with a smile on your face and no guilt in your heart. Good luck!
I find that you are being fair you are letting them pick their own dresses with slight requirements afterall it is YOUR day.
Although I'm not to sure why you don't want strapless? I don't think that should be such a big deal.
As far as bridesmaid dresses I picked out a color in November...In december David's Bridal changed all there colors and a few of the dresses for the new year.
So I had to change my color. Also Eva's disconnitued several dresses in December as well. It was a big headache. So if you do find a BM dress everyone needs to order theres within a 3-4 week span.
They are strapless with straps that they can attach if they feel more comfortable.